Side block for my bat-aunt oc

My original character Meredith Wayne, Batman's little sister

[meredith-wayne]

Introducing Meredith Wayne

She's Bruce Wayne's little sister. Meredith wasn't in the alley when their parents died, instead she was home asleep. When she woke up the next morning her parents were gone and her happy playful brother was different.

She's ceo of Wayne Enterprise but has Bruce as her partner when he can be because the company is massive, and to help his cover.

Meredith is not a vigilante, she goes from thinking the idea is stupid, to a begrudging respect, to hating it for taking the people she loves, and everything in between.

Meredith is the cool aunt to all of Bruce's kids (and not kids) and tends to be the mediator for a lot of arguments.

If she sounds at all interesting to you let me know, I'd like to talk about her.

Link to my wattpad

[papayafromtv]

all the batkids are nepo babies not in the civilian/monetary sense but rather because as batman’s babies they are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want in gotham meanwhile any time any other member of the hero world steps out of line batman comes down on them like a steel hammer on a walnut.

batman will provide a list of rules for the JLA any time they need to work in gotham and the JL will just look between the rules and the group of kids hanging out behind batman like. hold on now.

flash: no metas?

batman: yup.

flash: who’s that then?

batman: that’s signal, he can glow and he’s lovely, now take his fucking name out your mouth.

flash: …

~

superman: and you said no guns?

batman: yeah absolutely no guns allowed.

dick: *from upstairs* dAAAAAAD I’M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK HAVE YOU SEEN MY BADGE AND GUN?

batman: *yelling back* I THINK YOU LEFT THEM IN THE OFFICE.

dick: OH YEAH, THANKS.

batman: NO PROBLEM SWEETIE HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK!

superman: hm.

batman: he’s different.

superman: how?

batman: i love him.

~

wonder woman: you are against taking human life, are you not?

batman: absolutely and that is non-negotiable. we are not judge jury and executioner.

wonder woman: i see. turn around.

*jason and tim two rooftops over, arguing how best to dispose of the loa assassin corpses they just took down*

batman:

batman: i dont see a problem here. those are my sweet boys.

jason, distantly heard from behind: yeah fuck you we’re his sweet boys.

wonder woman: *sighs*

~

batman: honestly the most important thing is that we serve justice and keep morality intact even when dealing with the toughest cases.

green lantern: damian has a secret prison under the titans tower where he’s been torturing their villains rather than trying to reform them.

batman: he’s so cute and small. my baby.

green lantern: bruce-

batman: get out of my city.

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

I love those fics where the Justice League first realise Bruce has kids, but I haven't seen a single one where they do the math

Superman: *looks from Batman to his kids, then back again*

Superman: I thought you said you were in your thirties?

Batman: Late thirties, but yes.

Green Lantern: *gestures to Nightwing and Red Hood* These two are like 30!

Nightwing: Rude! I'm 26. I don't look that old, do I B?

Red Hood: yes

Nightwing: I wasn't talking to you, gumball. Besides, at least I'm not 21 being called 30.

Red Hood: At least I didn't have to stay home from patrol last week because I threw my back out, old man

Nightwing:

Nightwing: *launches himself at Red-Hood knees-first*

Batman: Boys! Stop fighting! You're both full of youthful vigor

The Flash: *shaking his head* Babies having babies

[maddie-w-draws]

sibling grocery shopping adventure

[thanosthedadtitan]

Hello I’m Dick Grayson, welcome to Jackass!!!

[timmydraker]

Jason: Do you think if we met before I died we would have gotten along?

Tim: …? We did meet?

Jason, genuinely confused: what? No, no, I would have remembered meeting your scraggly ass-

Tim: First of all, you once told me you refused to remember rich people’s name because they ‘aren’t really people at that point’.

Jason: this is true.

Tim: secondly, we literally talked for like, an hour? Do you really not remember?

Jason, lowkey feeling a little bad now but refusing to admit it: Maybe you just weren’t memorable.

Tim: we talked about Frankenstein!

Jason: why were we- OH MY GOD THAT WAS YOU?!

Tim: yes! I thought it was a good conversation :(

Jason: YOU EXPLAINED HOW YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DO EXACTLY WHAT VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN DID BUT BETTER.

Tim: YEAH CAUSE HE SHOULD HAVE USED ELECTRIC EELS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR A STORM.

Jason: DUDE. I only kept talking to you because I deadass thought you were gonna be a future Rouge.

Tim: huh?!

Jason: dude, you even told me about how easy it is to steal bodies from hospitals in Gotham.

Tim: yeah that… I wasn’t always the best at keeping my cards close to my chest, so that’s on me.

Jason: the only reason I didn’t tell Bruce about you is because I was worried he’d try adopt you and I was worried about getting kicked out.

Tim: I appreciate it.

Jason: if I had he probs wouldn’t have made you Robin.

Tim: that’s… unnerving to think about.

Tim, fiddling with his sleeve: Do you… wanna hear about my new take on how to reanimate the dead to create a whole new person?

Jason, fully aware that Tim could one day be a bad guy and he would have more of a chance if he had Tim on his side: As a reanimated corps, I am more than happy to listen. Have you actually read the book yet though?

Tim: No- so, first thing your going to need is a alibi-

Barbara, who’s been listening over the coms: … *silently starts recording*

[viviswyyt]

My babies!! They're so uptown girls coded ughh

[meredith-wayne]

Meredith telling the kids not to be so jealous of each other*

Dick: You're one to talk. Remember that time you bit me cause I wouldn't let you hang out with Bruce?

Meredith: You bit me first!

Dick: And you bit back!

Meredith: Oh so I'm not allowed to fight back?

Dick: I was nine

Meredith: And you didn't bite me again after that sooo

[comicallysmallcereals]

(Bruce has just, so,so many children. Where is he even finding them….)

[soap-for-birds]

Damian is still a child guys

[spicy-apple-pie]

I know that it’s a common mischaracterization that Cass can’t speak. But how scary would it be if she didn’t speak as batgirl.

Like, in the beginning, she never really spoke because she felt too insecure about her pronunciation and everything to actually be intimidating. But as she learned, she just kinda kept it.

Because even Batman will speak. Sure it’s short and blunt, but he will give you an opportunity to stand down. But Batgirl will make you surrender. No questions asked, you either give up immediately, or you’re getting your ass handed to you.

There’s one singular time she spoke to someone. It was a random goon that was just handcuffed. She asked him; “do you think it will rain?” He didn’t know how to respond and just shrugged. Batgirl just nodded and disappeared into the night.

Everyone thought the guy was concussed and hallucinating.

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

Bruce doing an interview for some magazine

Bruce: Stephanie is the best assistant I’ve ever had.

Cuts to Stephanie playing on her phone at her desk

Bruce: She makes sure I’m not being disturbed while I’m doing important work

Cuts to Stephanie telling several people to fuck off and get fucked everytime someone tries to go into his office

Bruce: She always knows the best way to handle the crazy amount of phone calls

Cuts to Stephanie during various phone calls either screaming at people or cursing them out

Bruce: And she’s always gets the job done not matter what

Cuts to Stephanie threatening people in person and over the phone to get a meeting scheduled

Bruce: Honestly I don’t know we got anything done with out her

Cuts to Stephanie

Stephanie: This is the best job I’ve ever had. I get paid an insane amount of money just to yell and curse at people. I got to scream at Lex Luther one time and it was so fucking cool.

[robs-your-robins]

I always love AUs where Oliver, Bruce and Lex all attend the same boarding school and were in the same class and he's like the third wheel. And Lex fucking hates them because Ollie and Brucie as they insist every reporter and socialite refer to them as, paint themselves as reckless, partyboys with air and champagne bubbles between their ears who throw good money after bad when Lex knows, he fucking knows, they're actual geniuses. The clueless Tweets? The revealing clothes? The highprofile love affairs? The cringe worthy fuck ups that people would totally roast him for but noooooo the world loves those two for? It's all an act. Those business deals that cut LexCorp off at the markets aren't flukes. The way Superman just happens to know about secret dealings isn't coincidence. The way they act when nobody is watching. He's heard them discuss world issues, he's seen Bruce reading philosophy and discussing Theoretical Physics with professors, Oliver can quote Goethe and speaks three languages. Lex can't prove it. But he knows. He has to attend gala after gala, function after function, charity auction after charity auction, watching Oliver try sleep with half the room while Bruce wanders about the room looking for one of his nine thousand kids, knowing that it's an act. But he's got zero evidence and all he can do is pull out the remaining hair he has watching Bruce giggle because somebody said duty because he thought he heard doody.

[bruciemilf]

In the spirit of Halloween, I think Bruce takes the batkids out on patrol as a group. He tells them to pick out a costume so they wouldn't be suspicious, but won't actually reveal what the mission IS.

Jason goes as a mummy (no one laughs)

Dick goes as Superman (everyone but Bruce laughs)

Tim goes as Light Yagami and does not, in fact, escape the mad genius allegations

Damian goes as Ra’s. The layers are too much to unpack rn but no one can stop thinking about it. “His beard is most intimidating. And regal.”

Bruce tells them they're gonna go house to house, let Damian trick or treat while assimilating as much information as possible, and every one’s trying to figure out what the point of this patrol IS.

Bruce, absolutely sweating bullets because he just wanted to take his kids trick or treating but couldn't be a normal person about it: “The licurice… Is suspicious.”

[bianc0re]

Days since a normal dead Robin club meeting: 0

[cowsnotcrows]

My city

[frownyalfred]

Alfred is the field medic Cave medic but Bruce is absolutely the dislocation guy. Elbow pops out? Alfred feels for the dislocation and then gives Bruce the go ahead. Minimum amount of pressure needed with the dexterity of a doctor’s hands. Dick dislocates his shoulder and for years afterward it just pops out. Instead of trying to jam it back in himself, he just shows up at the Cave, gives Bruce the puppy dog eyes, and suddenly he’s got a shoulder again and Bruce didn’t have to pull, or yank, or medicate him to do it. Because this is a man who had to fix his OWN dislocations on his own for years, and the older Alfred got, the less able he was fully manipulate a shoulder socket on a 225 lb behemoth of a man. Every time Jason (as Red Hood) punches someone just a little wrong, two of his fingers dislocate. He tries to wrap them in tape, but Bruce Knows. He always Knows, and the moment those fingers are in his vicinity, he reaches out, pretends to hand something to Jason, and pops them back in. and Jason falls for it every damn time. Tim has the worst dislocation — his knee — and begs Bruce to teach him to jam it back into place on his own. Damian dislocates his jaw in a fight where Robin caught the wrong end of a stick across the wrong part of the face (if there is a right part) and cries through it because it’s painful, yes, but also because Bruce herds him against some cover, sanitizes his hands, and pops it back into place, and immediately benches him for the rest of the evening because jaw dislocations swell SO much and Damian’s cheek is already swelling.

[papayafromtv]

currently thinking about a Bruce Wayne who somehow manages to last well into adulthood before finally having to get his wisdom teeth removed, and when he does he is left high as a kite in Alfred's care, except Alfred then has to leave for some reason and it takes him a good twenty minutes to do the genuinely difficult mental math on which of the kids he should call and trust to take over on babysitting duty without pulling some bullshit while Bruce is vulnerable.

his first thought is Tim, until he remembers all the shit Bruce put Tim through under the excuse of 'training exercises' during the dark era, and he can't risk that 3-seconds-away-from-becoming-a-villain seventeen year old seeing a drugged up Batman and deciding 'ok my turn'.

his second thought is Jason except no it's not, not a chance, absolutely the fuck not, moving on,

third thought is Dick, but Dick has a childish streak in him and is the one that treats Bruce the most like a partner rather than a guardian figure. that's dangerous. if Dick's in a bemused and bored mood then there's a very good chance Bruce will end up naked on a raft in the middle of Gotham harbour while Dick livestreams from the bridge above.

so the final decision ends up being Damian. still young, yes, but also the most proud of his position as Bruce's son. Alfred comes to the conclusion that Damian wouldn't pull anything too bad because, well, it would reflect badly on his own family line. so he calls Damian out of school and asks him to watch his father for the night, and then he leaves only minorly worried. unfortunately for Alfred, Damian is thirteen years old and currently experimenting with the freedom that comes with not being a public heir to the Demon's Head, because as Jason told him, 'he needs to learn to fuck about without being paranoid about the consequences of his actions'.

Damian proceeds to put Bruce in the batsuit and set him loose in Gotham just to See What Happens. Bruce has to wake up the next day to footage all over the internet of 'Batman's drunken speedrun of Gotham while Robin holds him via toddler-backpack-leash', and for a split-second he genuinely considers sending Damian back to the league. Damian's brothers have never been more proud.