Synopsis: Sukuna was curious about your phone. Cue you showing him the power of the internet.
A/N: Ahh idk if this fits with the word haha, sorry if it doesn’t. It started as a fic about Sukuna trying to bribe the reader to get their phone but turned into this lmao....also don’t mind the bad pun >_>
"What is that you are holding, human."
Yuuji likes to sleep talk sometimes but this voice was certainly not him. You looked over to your pink haired friend who was dozing off on the couch beside you. Of course you saw the single eye and the malicious mouth that belonged to the King of Curses.
"This?" you asked while casually raising the phone on your hand and waving it.
"Yes that, what else?", Sukuna said annoyed.
“Aren’t you grumpy,” you jabbed at him, “Well this thing is a phone.”
Sukuna blinked. Ever since he reincarnated, he has noticed that most of the human population seems to be obsessed with these little rectangular boxes but he was completely in the dark about what they do.
“What is it’s purpose?”, he asks while trying to not make his interest too obvious.
“Oh it’s super fun!”, you say gleefully, “You can umm search things up, take pictures, listen to music, text people, watch cat vide—“
“You are not making sense, human,” Sukuna cuts you off.
You put a hand on your chin as if you were thinking then concluded, “I suppose all of this info can be overwhelming.”
Overwhelming. Sukuna didn’t like that word at all. Nothing would overwhelm him, he is the strongest after all.
“I’m not overwhelmed. I’m underwhelmed that you humans have resorted to wasting your time on such meaningless things...for fun,” he insulted but you just laughed it off
“Yeah, yeah, why don’t you see for yourself,” you said.
“I’m not interested—“ Sukuna started however he was cut off with you holding your phone up to face him and suddenly a flash goes off. It was so bright that he had to close his eyes.
“You lowly human what are you doing to me?”, he fumed.
“I’m taking a picture of course,” you answered back casually, “Ahhhhh look at this filter it’s so adorable!” you said and turned your phone to face Sukuna.
You put the phone so close to him that he instinctively flinched and squinted his eye. When he started to adjust to the brightness, he saw an image of the pink haired brat sleeping and him on the cheek displayed on the screen. However Sukuna had dog ears and a dog tongue.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“It’s the dog filter, super neat right? There’s also a rabbit and a cat filter!”
“This is blasphemy, how dare you compare me to a dog?”
“Oh come on it looks good! Why don’t we try this one!“
Sukuna didn’t even get the chance to protest and he was greeted by another flash.
You held your phone up and laughed at the picture then turned it around to show him one again. This time, there was a pink hue on his cheeks as if he was blushing, his eye was so large as if he was giving puppy eyes while pouting. He looked well, cute was the closest word to describe it.
"Adorable," you fawned.
“I'll rip your heart out first thing when I take over the brat," he threatens you a bit too seriously.
"Ah ha ha...we can look at ummm google instead," you said and cold sweats.
"What is that?", Sukuna asks.
"Well, it's something called a search engine, pretty much if you type anything into it, information will show up," you tried your best to explain.
An intrigued expression forms on Sukuna's face, "Anything?"
"Uhh yeah, anything," you answered.
Sukuna's lips curls into a malicious smile, "Human, ask the rectangle box for 100 ways to inflict pain on annoying brats."
"What? No! Ask something normal!" you objected.
Sukuna sighed, "Weaknesses of Itadori Yuuji, will that do?"
You mentally facepalmed, "No of course not, Yuuji isn't famous enough to have google searches."
Sukuna's smile disappears completely, "You said anything, this is clearly not anything."
You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, yeah well I didn't think out of anything in the world, that was what you wanted to ask. I meant like ummm....for example you're a renown curse so we could search you up."
Sukuna suddenly seemed interested again, "Do you mean the box has recorded the tales of my glory?"
Your eyes shifted awkwardly, unsure what to answer, "More or less."
You typed in 'Ryomen Sukuna' into the search bar and watched the thousands of results pop up. A little blurb showed up along with a few pictures, you read the blurb outloud, "Ryomen Sukuna is a sorcerer that was said to have appeared in Hida Province during the Heian Era."
You showed Sukuna the picture that accompanied the summary, it showed a bridge in the Hida Province.
"Ah, this bridge brings back memories," Sukuna said.
You raised an eyebrow, "Like what?", you dared to ask.
"I once slayed 50 men on that bridge when they tried to ambush me—"
"ALRIGHT, moving on," you interrupted him.
"Stop cutting me off you disrespectful human."
"Then stop making everything about killing!", you exclaimed back.
You scrolled through the searches, some were about a video game character of the same name, another was a conspiracy theory about the 'real' Sukuna, then finally you clicked on a link of a forum that discussed about supernatural beings and the thread was about Sukuna.
"Alright listen to what they said," you tell Sukuna, "Sukuna was a powerful curse from the Heian era that was feared. He was well known for his slashing and cutting abilities."
"Not wrong," Sukuna commented.
"So does that mean he is very good at cutting vegetables?" "OMG he can cook lmao!", you read.
"Tch."
You continued, "I think he also has dark pink hair." "What? Dark pink?! That sounds really cool!" "Yes and four arms." "No, no, pink hair is baaad. Source: My neighbour has the ugliest f*cking pink hair." "Maybe your neighbour is Sukuna?" "LOL does he have four arms though?" "WAIT Sukuna has four arms, so he is Stitches' long lost brother!"—
You stopped reading.
"Wow, no wonder you hate humans," you concluded.
"Very."
"Umm—so I guess enough internet for today!", you concluded sheepishly.
"This is useless device is what you humans pathetically waste your time on?"
"Alright you're starting to sound like my grandparents," you retorted sarcastically, "Could of at least said a thank you for me going through the effort of showing you how to operate a phone."
Sukuna was about to snap back at you but suddenly, your phone started vibrating and playing a traditional Japanese tune. It was the prelude to one of your favourite songs, they purposefully incorporated some traditional Japanese music into it and you've set it as your ringtone. You checked the caller ID, it was some 1-800 number. You rolled your eyes and ended the call, "Ugh, scams."
"Human make your box do that again," Sukuna orders.
You looked up from your phone to him, "What? Make it ring?"
"I said make that device sing" he said.
"Oh like you mean play that music?"
"Yes."
You opened Youtube and typed in the name of the song and the prelude started playing again. For the first time today, he looked pleased. "You like this?", you asked him.
"I have heard this song before," Sukuna said.
"Hmm, that makes sense. It says here that they used some music from the Heian era as the main tune," you explained.
“I thought I would never hear it again.”
“See! I said phones are great! That’s the power of the internet for you!”
"Human, give me the device,” Sukuna suddenly said bluntly.
"Wait what? No this is mine!"
"I want it."
"Get your own."
"I'll rip your heart out if you don't give it to me."
"I'll fucking die without my phone anyways so I don't care."
Sukuna sighs again, "Fine just let me see it."
You hold your phone protectively, "I don't trust you."
"How about I promise to do one thing for you in return."
You wanted to decline his offer, but you had an idea."Fine, I'll lend you my phone for five minutes on one condition.”
“What do you want?”
“You see everything Yuuji does so tell me something embarrassing about him,” you said.
"Easy. Now hand me the phone first," Sukuna replied.
"How do I do that? Should I force Yuuji to swallow my phone?", you asked him.
Yuuji woke up from his nap in a rather violent way. (Name) was strangulating him while shouting something about spitting their phone out.
"Whoa (Name)!", Yuuji yelps.
"Yuuji make Sukuna give me my phone back!", you ordered him but still violently shaking the poor pink haired boy.
Sukuna's mouth appeared on Yuuji's cheek again, "You idiot, the number one rule in the jujutsu world is if you make a deal with a sorcerer, you better make a binding vow."
You gritted your teeth, "Oh shut up and spit it out Sukuna!"
"(Name) you're killing me," Yuuji begged.
"Then tell Sukuna to keep his end of the deal! Or switch with him so I can choke him properly instead of you!"
Sukuna's mouth forms into a mischievous smile again, "I'll throw you a bone, human. One embarrassing fact about the brat is that he has a crush on you."
You let go of your grip on Yuuji, "Wait WHAT."
"And I will be keeping this phone," Sukuna announces before disappearing off.
Me @ cloverworks when they didn't include Bunker dad Yuugo, cut out the whole Goldy pond arc, 50+ chapters, Ray and Emma development and now decided to bring back Norman still looking like a kid
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