Reverse werewolf where the real horror is becoming human. Animal now has to question their morality- they never had that before- and ponders their life. They never had to ponder before. Werewolf Horror except the in-between is no longer beast and man, but beast becoming man. Where do they start and the sapience end? There is no going back to what they were before. They can only try to pretend in both directions.
Human-based werewolves have the luxury of pretending.
Werehumans have no room to pretend. They are no longer animal. They were never human. Why do they feel bad for their prey? Why should they feel bad?
They never hunted with regret before.
What is crying? Why do they cry? They Know. But the Knowing makes it worse.
Hey there pookies, you can fully blame Hozier for releasing his EP today. Wildflower and Barley is my favorite song off is and I wept while writing this so hopefully y'all will too :)
Song
Words: 1.6k
CW: Talks of Death
His jaw clenched, grip tight on the steering wheel as the engine sputtered to a halt. His old Jeep usually never failed him, even if he'd been ignoring the 'check engine light' for the past week on the road. He knew that ol' reliable would pull through before his last stop.
That's what denial told him at least...
But not everything can be relied on, he knew that. Why would he bother holding out?
In silence, he pops the hood, being met with steam. Of course... Nothing he could patch up and move on with.
A disgusted sigh slips from frowning lips as he slams the hood back down, anger settling in as he goes to grab his bag from the passenger seat. Reaching for his keys, they slip from the ignition and fumble under the seat.
"God damnit..." He mumbles, reaching, reaching far under the seat. His hand stops feeling something hard and smooth. He pulls at it, looking down at the iPod in his hand.
Your iPod.
He presses down on the power, surprised to see the screen light up as the company logo pops up and the lock shows. Swiping through it, he taps the video app. Seeing the massive collection of videos, he scrolls to the bottom. Hitting the last one, opening it to the sound of your laughter.
"You look ridiculous!" Your voice chirps as he sees himself standing in your old apartment bathroom as he combs his hair with his fingers in the mirror. Pushing through the botched blotchy dye job, he gave himself to be a brunet for an assignment in Pittsburgh.
"Stop laughing and help me fix it!" His head jolts around, softly glaring at you as the camera shakes from your held back laughter.
"Are you recording this? Get over here." The camera jostles around as you shake from Leon pulling you over to him. The camera moves to yours and his reflection in the mirror. His arms around you, head sitting on your shoulder, and that same shit eating grin on your face you'd always give when he was annoyed with you.
"It's so... Patchy. Kinda like old dog fur." You giggle as his head lifts to turn towards you.
"I'll show you dog." Leaning in, he bites your shoulder, an excited yelp leaving your lips as the video cuts off.
He smiled, briefly. Two years ago.
Simpler times...
Slipping the iPod in his pocket, he grabs his keys and starts walking. No idea where, but the road had to lead somewhere eventually.
So he walked down the road, the spring morning heat turning to afternoon as the sun blared down on him. He had to have been at least a few miles from his Jeep by now. Trees are getting thinner as open country fields come into view.
You'd always wanted to go to the countryside, even just for a weekend.
Leon stops for a moment, looking out at the open fields, fields of wildflowers and what he thinks is barley.
You were the smart one in your relationship. Always so knowledgeable about the weirdest things.
So different from him. So delicate and beautiful compared to his rough edges and awkward sense of humor that would always make you crack up.
Would...
He swallows the lump forming in his throat, pulling at the chain carrying old dog tags and a pill pendent. The shade looks inviting in the heat.
So he wanders over, trying to avoid stepping on flowers as he walks. Knowing he'll probably be covered in pollen by the time he's out of here.
Finally, making it to the thin patch of shade, he sits against the tree, taking in the floral scenery around him. Thinking about how beautiful it was.
Fishing in his pocket, he grabs your iPod, opening it and goes back to the videos. Flipping through the thumbnails, when he spots himself, two pens hanging from his mouth like long fangs.
He clicks the video, seeing himself propped against the small counter and sink of a doctor's office. A woman in bright pink scrubs walking past while you chuckle.
He remembers this day, you had to get blood drawn. He knew how much you hated needles, and while trying to distract you from the incoming pinch, shoved the pens in his mouth as a joke.
That was a year ago...
What he'd give to go back to that day. To make you laugh all over again. To drop the pens from his mouth by accident and get dirty looks from the nurse and make you laugh harder. Or even just to see the smile on your face when he got embarrassed and acted like nothing happened to save face. To just bargain with the universe to give you back, even just for a second.
Leon continues flipping through the videos, seeing memory after memory. He stops, noticing the gap between videos.
Six months and two months ago...
His hands start to shake as he clicks on the video from six months ago. You pop up on the screen.
Tubes in your nose in a close-up shot. Eyes baggy and tired against your abnormally dull skin. A small smile on your face as the camera moves to your right, his sleeping face appearing curled up on your shoulder as he cuddles up to you in the hospital bed.
"Big baby can't go five minutes without being next to me since he got home from Russia." You lean in giving him a soft kiss on the forehead as his nose wrinkles. Loud snores erupting from him as you wrap your arm around him tighter.
"Sleeps like a bear... A giant teddy bear." You hold the camera back, seeing him intertwined with you under the plush throw blanket he brought to the hospital for you.
"But, he's my bear. And I wouldn't want it any other way."
He feels the burn of tears at the back of his eyes. His nose stinging.
Of all the things life could take from him, why you? The one light he had that could turn the pitch black midnight skies of Winter into the midday sunshine of Summer.
The thick jacket of grief hangs over his shoulders again that he's tried shoving off since you died.
He's kept going for two months straight, not stopping or slowing down to let time catch up with him.
This has been the first time since the week off he took after your funeral he's been anywhere but work or sleeping on the couch, refusing to sleep in bed. Not without you. Falling into an even deeper depression than he already was in.
The wind picks up, ripping loose flowers from the ground, landing at the side of his thigh. Picking it up, he runs his thumb over the soft pink petals. Tiny traces of brown dusted the edges.
Rot... Disgusting rot even infects untouched places like this.
He lets the flower go as it drifts off in the wind. Looking back down, he took in a deep breath, squeezing his eyes for a moment to hold back his tears. Clicking the last video.
Two months ago...
You look so tired... Run down by countless trips to the doctor. Medication, minor procedures and time.
You sit back in your hospital bed with a sight. The soft night light in the room only illuminates you as you look back at the camera. Your voice is soft as you speak.
"It's a little past 2... I can't sleep. My surgery's in," you look off-screen, squinting, head swiveling back, "six-ish hours... I'm nervous."
Biting your lip you shrug. Letting out a rough huff of air.
"I've come to terms with it... The doctor said there's only a 20% success rate..." You go quiet, looking away from the camera.
"My parents have no idea how technology works... So when you see this Leon... Tell them I love them... And I love you. More than anyone I've ever loved before. Thank you for being the love of my life, even if it was only for a short time. Five years isn't long enough... But they were the happiest five years of my life."
You smile, lean into the camera, put your hand to your lips, and blow him a kiss.
"Take care of yourself for me, baby."
Leon sniffs as he stares down at the screen. Feeling the overwhelming ache in his chest. Tears finally spill as his throat closes, making him gag for air.
He coughs, feeling sick, not being able to stop the tears from flowing. This, this was the way his body finally made him grieve.
Whether he wanted to or not.
After a while, he leans back against the tree again, clutching his chain after he slips it off. Looking down at the pill attached next to his dog tags.
You... Little old you, always going with him wherever you could or wherever he was willing.
Even now, he carries part of your ashes with him. Just so he could take you to that beautiful countryside, get away, he promised you after surgery.
He had every intention of getting you somewhere beautiful to rest. Somewhere he knew you'd love.
Among nature, the beautiful shades of colors you adored so much, almost as much as he loved you.
He stands up and walks out of the shade as the wind starts picking up again. Turning his back to the wind as flowers and weeds flew past him.
"I love you baby. Always have, always will." He kisses the pill pendent one last time, unscrewing it, and tosses the bit of your ashes into the wind.
Accepting that he has to let you go, even if it kills him.
Cnc but it’s the apologetic kind. Please, baby, just stay still, I don’t want to have to hurt you, as they hold you down under them. I need this, just be good and let me have you, as they press inside you. I know it hurts, but I can’t stop yet, as they thrust in over and over again. Praise and apologies all mixed together as they use you to make themselves cum.
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