the night that confirmed shifting was real for me / the self-report of a black girl that woke up as a 6'3 man
ngl, i cracked myself up with the title. it's legit but it sounds so riduclous i can't help but laugh.
anyways, hi. hello. this is a storytime of one of my first grounded shifts. the only one i can still remember quite vividly even after all these years. it happened in the midst of either 2022 or 2023. don't ask me what lead up to it because i couldn't tell you. i can't recall. all i know is that i went to bed in this reality, fell asleep, and i opened my eyes in a hotel room in las vegas.
for context, the reality i shifted to was my boy band dr. the year was 2017. the month was may.
the first thing i became aware of was my body. my eyelids felt heavy. my arms were completly limp at my sides, relaxed in a way that i physically cannot manage here. i was laying on my back with my legs over the edge of my bed, dressed in outside clothes because i'd been out drinking with my band members and had only just made it back to our hotel. it was late but i didn't know exactly how late. i kept telling myself that i ought to check my phone and also put it to charge, but i couldn't be bothered to move so i didn't.
instead i β drunk, and with the vague understanding that the bbmas were the next day (or maybe that day. even though i didn't check the time i had a sneaking suspicion that it was like 1/2 am on the 21st) β fell asleep in less than five minutes. lights still on, shoes still on and phone still in hand lmao.
looking back on it, there's an irony to how seamlessly i settled into this dr because prior to this shift, i used to have a series of intrusive thoughts / worries along the lines of "what if i freak out?" "what if i feel completely out of place?" "what if i get body dysphoria?". but in that moment, none of that happened. and even when i came back, i didn't feel any belated unease. granted, i was only a man for a couple of seconds, and i didn't see my face or the full length of my body during that shift, but still. all of it felt natural because it was natural. because it was me.
i say all that to say: dw about if waking up in your dr body will be "weird". it won't be, because regardless of how different it is to the one you have here, it's still your body.