Neither heaven nor earth had ever offered me mercy.
So today, I’ll take my chance with hell.
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@messimerci
Neither heaven nor earth had ever offered me mercy.
So today, I’ll take my chance with hell.
— It wasn’t supposed to be this way
[ Trigger Warnings — Death, Torture, Murder, Disfigured Limbs, Burnt Skin, Beatings, Blood, Gun Shots, Stabbing
January 8th 2019
If Merci could, she’d live forever.
But that's not how life works. Truly, you have no control over your life. You’re born when life chooses and you die when life chooses. Everything that happens in between is also life’s choice, though somewhere along the way life tricks you into believing it's yours. And it seems life had decided to cut Merci’s short.
Being in a gang was dangerous. Everything about it was dangerous. But Merci wouldn't give up the Verdelet’s for anything. Not even for her own life. Still the men in front of her tried to get information from her. She knew they'd end up killing her if she didn't speak up and it scared her. But she wasn't going to say anything because either way they’d kill her. It was either she spoke up and got herself along with everyone she cared for killed, or she stayed quiet and took death herself. All she wanted to do was go home and hold her brother, they'd watch a few cartoons until he was asleep and then she'd spend the night making sure he was still breathing. But it seemed like that wasn't an option.
A small tear streamed down her face as she thought of how’d she’d die in that basement and would never be able to see her brothers again. How she’d never be able to see Quinn and Daniel again. The small tear streamed down her face, burning the cuts that scattered her cheek as it did. If someone were to ask her how long she had been in that dark and cold basement she wouldn't have been able to answer. Everything seemed to be clashing together and she barely even knew what was happening at that point.
Feeling the sharp blade being forcefully pushed into her thigh, Merci winced in pain, her teeth gritting as to stop the screams from being shouted. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of hearing her pain. If she were to die she was going to make her death be a burden on those who caused it, not a reward. The man that stood a few feet in front of her watched as his men tortured the girl, his smug expression had been replaced with annoyance when he began realizing the girl wasn't going to break.
What Merci hadn't realized was that it had already been two days of this. Two days of utter torture. At first they had started with just using their fist. Pulling her hair and slapping her occasionally. But when she continued to refuse speaking they had started using weapons. Her entire back had an ugly and painful burn from a torch they had used to burn the skin off. Her arm had been hit with a bat multiple times and now lied limp at her side, pointing off in an uncomfortably painful angled. Her thighs had multiple stand wounds in them that were leaking a unsafe amount of blood. Her face was barely recognizable, cuts, bruises and burn marks from cigarettes decorated her entire face while both eyes were practically swollen completely shut. Her long black and blue locks had been unevenly cut, though that was more for their amusement than as torture.
Merci’s head lulled back, her body was too weak now. Her body ached, every part of it. And she was second from begging them to just kill her. The thought alone made her incredibly sad. Merci didn't want to die. She wanted to live. She had so much left to do. She had to be there on Eden’s first day of school. On Maddox’ birthday. When Quinn won her fight against drugs. When Daniel’s children were born. She was supposed to live, live to see those days. She had to live. She couldn't leave, not like this anyways. She was supposed to die from old age. She had planned her life. She knew what she had wanted, and it wasn't this.
She was supposed to watch her brother grow up, watch him go to school, make friends, go to prom. She was supposed to make an album of pictures of Eden. From first day of school photos, to prom pictures. There's surely be pictures of his graduation and wedding in there too. She was supposed to meet the love of Eden’s life. Threaten to punt her if she hurt Eden then hug her and welcome her into the family. Merci's family had been ripped apart long ago but what was left of it was what mattered. And boy did the two boys matter to her.
She was supposed to marry the love of her life. Spend her dying days in the arms of the girl she promised nothing but death would do them part. In her spare time she had often imagined that as a life for her and Quinn. She had never said that to anyone for she knew if that were the case it wouldn't be for a long time. Still, it was a pretty picture she had painted in her mind. Quinn.. Merci’s mind filled with imagines of the girl. Oh how Merci loved her. With baggage and all Merci would have chosen her over any other. She was, is worth the fight. Her addiction wasn't her. It was something life made from a back choice Quinn made. But above all, Quinn was an amazing women. Merci hated how she wouldn't live to make that known.
She was supposed to talk Daniel into naming his daughter merci. She was supposed to say, “I'll meet you halfway, name the baby Poptart-Merci” Then laugh as if it was the funniest joke of all. She was supposed to jump from bed when she got the “Im having a fucking baby” text. Rush to the hospital and threaten as many nurses as it took before she was let into the room. She was supposed to scream at Daniel, tell him if he passed out while his baby was being brought into the world she'd punt him into space. She was supposed to laugh with Daniel years later when they talked about how he passed out. She was supposed to say, “I'm still gonna punt you, Arm Boy. I'm just waiting until you least expect it!”
She was supposed to cry happy tears as she stared at the baby with Genni. She was supposed to hear her call her mc. At least one more time. She had to hear it again. This couldn't be the end right? She had to buy cute baby clothes for Genni. Offer to help throw a baby shower. Why hasn't she told Genni how good of a mother she was going to be? She wish she had, more than ever.
She had it all planned out. Maddox would find someone, maybe it would be Val. Genni and Daniel would be happier than ever. Her and Quinn had figured everything out. They all stood around a fire, one Daniel and Merci set up. Their loved ones all around them, most of the gang there. Eden was with his friends in his room. Teenagers, right? Daniels kids were running around, their laughter filling the air like soft harmonies. Trixie was there, too. She had just walked away from where Merci stood after having endured Quinn’s words. She ran after Poptart. The kid having stolen one too many cookies from the kitchen which Trixie was trying to get away her. Too much sugar before bedtime was against the rules.
At the thought of how she had planned her future a small laugh left Mercis lips. What she hadn't known, since she was too busy thinking about those she loved, was the men in front of her held a gun pointed at her chest. Believing she had laughed at him he instantly pulled the trigger. “Leave her body on her front steps, let them deal with it.” She heard as pain surged through her chest, spreading like wildfire until it took over her entire body.
The drive to her home was one spent going from conscious to unconscious, shaking unforgettable as death slowly took hold of her being. Before she knew it she was being picked up only to be dropped onto the ground moments later. Hearing the sound of pounding on a door before feet stomping on the floor. The screech off a car could be heard off in the distance as drops of blood slide down her lips. The squeak of a door was the last thing she heard, everything else was left for her brother to deal with.
———————————————
Merci Alani Croww — 01/31/1999-01/08/2019
— "She kissed their knife marred bodies, for every act of war has, at its heart, an act of mercy."
she thinks shes hot smh
im hot af
you’re cute af but not hot
i’m both cute af and hot af
mo you’re not hot
yes i am hot
think again babe
i don’t need to think again i know i’m hot
she thinks shes hot smh
im hot af
you’re cute af but not hot
i’m both cute af and hot af
mo you’re not hot
yes i am hot
she thinks shes hot smh
im hot af
you’re cute af but not hot
i’m both cute af and hot af
she thinks shes hot smh
im hot af
now i get exactly why jade hates certain people
who does she hate?
her ex girlfriend, Dad sometimes, the bitchy cereal and more
lol idek a jade, why would she hate me? lol
not everything is about you
the bitchy cereal? fr? lol
i have never referred to you as that. i Call you trix or trix are for kids now back off
whatever, it’s funny chill
dang, roll your eyes too much, they’ll fall out
keep being a bitch and no one will love your stupid ass
was just saying. you don’t have to be so rude, as well
reblog for a starter
pub or priv in the tags
Sup
hello random person w/ pretty eyes
sup pretty girl w/ random eyes
what’s your name random guy w/ pretty eyes
axel. what’s yours pretty girl w/ random eyes?
nice name random guy w/ pretty eyes. i’m merci
Sup
hello random person w/ pretty eyes
sup pretty girl w/ random eyes
what’s your name random guy w/ pretty eyes
Sup
hello random person w/ pretty eyes
think again.
who are you? and why do you seem like a copy of my girlfriend?
i am celestial. i am myself. i do not know who your girlfriend is.
hey celestial. that cryptic thing is already taken. you should probably fine a different aesthetic.
cry yourself to sleep about it. bad boy with a sensitive side is already taken. you find a different aesthetic and so will I.
bitchy wannabe isnt taken so i guess you could just stick with that
i like being celestial, instead.
yeah same thing right?
yes, and daniel means spoiled brat who can’t mind his own business and who, when the going gets tough, decideds to destroy things and lives. i’ve heard about you, little boy. don’t act like you’re tougher than me just because you’ve got a couple murders under your belt. it makes me laugh.
think again.
who are you?
this town is pretty cute~
daughter?
Djuna Barnes, Nightwood
@messimerci this is u but with Chinese food and the customer is quinn
you say that as if quinn would even have a towel on