A Beautiful Mess In Curls

Just a hot mess with no intentions of getting better anytime soon. For short: I'm fucked up.

[anxietyproblem]

[animationsource]

When Marnie Was There 思い出のマーニー 2014 | dir. hiromasa yonebayashi.

[yuridefender]

howl pendragon + tags on my gifs

[messycurls6]

I don't know when was the last time I logged in in Tumblr.

Some things have changed.

Some other are still the same.

Some other have worsened.

Will I ever stop feeling like this?

[messycurls6]

September seems so long, and I'm just a fucking coward.

[especially]

[messycurls6]

The Smiley Girl you all know.

The smiley girl hides her pain with "okays" and a loud laughter, so you won't notice the swollen red eyes from crying all night and wears long sleeves to hide the cuts she made with a shaving blade the night before.

The smiley girl will listen to you and give you advice, but in her advice there's a silent scream for help no one else's hear, much less listen.

The smiley girl drowns her pain in alcohol and pills to forget the world just for a brief moment.

The smiley girl wakes up feeling shittier the next day and restarts the daily routine of hidding her shame for being so weak.

The smiley girl will never bother you with her problems, she will always bottled them up so you won't go away scared from her, and her self destructive habits.

The smiley girl is tired of smiling and pretendimg everything is okay.

The smiley girl don't want to smile anymore, but don't want to answer the question "What's going on?"

The smiley girl sits into her fifth floor apartment balcony thinking if it will hurt to jump.

The smiley girl is a character she's bored playing.

The smiley girl who you think loves life and is so happy she could die, only wants to die.

The smiley girl is me, and I can't do this anymore.

[sift]

[messycurls6]

September is my due date.

[thegoodvybe]

[timbllr]

via weheartit

[suspend]

[timbllr]

via weheartit

[witchinghour]

Pierrot le Fou (1965) dir. Jean-Luc Godard

[mybrainisbroken]

[cursedcatimages]

[jenniferlawrencesource]

Please, don’t. I love you. Mother! (2017) dir. Darren Aronofsky