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@messymerc
Blog under construction. Aesthetics take time and aren't a top priority to me!
messymerc // Indie Deadpool / Wade Wilson from the Marvel 616 and XMCU. Semi-canon divergent. Multiship & Multiverse friendly. Written CHARLIE (he/him, 25+). Follows from @fireinmadness // CARRD
"Bird babes?" Rogue repeated and she couldn't help but laugh. Hot damn if there was anyone who could make her laugh, it was Wade. "Can't help but think they'd get their feathers in all y'er wrong places!"
She shook her head, banishing the silly images rolling through her mind. In any case, the hot chocolate was ready, and she let go of Wade's hand to get the bubbling milk off of the stove top and ready to pour into a mug.
"Ah mean Ah ain't knockin' anythin'. Ah like ta say Ah can't knock if my own boots ain't knockin'," she grinned, rolling her eyes before she took the chocolate powder and added it into the mug.
Taking hold of a spoon from a nearby drawer, she stirred the milk and chocolate together before looking back up at Wade. "Ya look like a marshmallows in y'er hot chocolate kinda man," she surmised before stepping up into the air to open the cabinet and take hold of the bag on the top shelf. Then she glanced down at Wade with a sneaky smile. "Don't tell no one, but Ah hide these up here cuz a certain Canadian can't reach."
Then she drifted back down with a strange sort of grace and offered the bag to Wade. "Just don' go hog wild on these, sugah," she warned with a smirk, her fingers lightly brushing against his as she passed the sweet treats over.
"Feathers wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've had up my ass - and who knows? Maybe ol' Xavey is a birdie chaser. Spends all his time harassing featherd ladies on Birdbr asking them invasive questions about their naughty bits."
He pouted a little at the loss of her hand in his, still half-seriously contemplating the in-and-outs of bird lady sex. Would they have human naughty bits, or bird naughty bits? The mermaid dilemma.
He should probably watch less hentai.
He also probably shouldn't be leaning over like he was to get a good look of that beautiful Southern toochie. But he could keep that a secret for himself.
"Don't worry, I won't eat them all in one sitting when you're not looking." Wade decanted a few into his mug, and to hers, "And I won't then jabber at you incessantly when I'm high on the sugar. So, you'll never know it was me, and if you find out someone's been at 'em, I'll tell you it was definitely the Canadian. Ryan Reynolds has always been a wild card."
Harley couldn't help but smile just watching the man in action. "You like to have fun don't you?" She was hoping she was dealing with a fellow villain here. Maybe even a vigilante anti hero type. There were only a few heroes the clown princess actually got along with. "You know if you're not a goody goody me and you could always rob a candy store. It's where I get most of my candy anyways."
"Oof, that would hurt if that hit you in the tuchy." Even glitter could pack a punch, it seemed.
Deadpool was a lot of things, and 'hero' sometimes met the list. He wouldn't have earnt his spot on Captain America's Avengers team if he wasn't worthy of it. But he was the merc with the mouth, the regenerating degenerate, the despicable Deadpool - and whatever other alliterated monikers editorial decided to use to convey him as the chaotic neutral bad boy he definitely was.
"I think you and me are on the same wavelength, clown queen of smashy smashy. I love robbing candy (usually not from babies... unless they're evil babies)."
🩵 for Wade and Dom!
who curses more? Wade probably. Sometimes its equally done but Wade is the merc with a mouth for a reason.
who is more patient? Dom. 1000%
who does the driving? Depends on who wants to shoot out the window but Neena won't let Wade drive half of the time.
who is louder? who is quieter? Wade is the loudest. You can hear him from a country away because he just never shuts up. Though when it comes to them being in bed, she's louder.
who is more physically affectionate? I like to think Wade is but he's nervous about it. He doesn't wanna cross boundaries with her and he overwhelmed with handholding.
who is more likely to tease the other? Domino. Drives Wade insane. She'll do something subtle over text or in front of him and he has to learn to behave.
who is better with time management? Domino. She's not perfect but her mind is more focused.
who wins the arm wrestling matches? Equally matched. Unless either one is threatened by a gun, knife or having their arm ripped off.
who controls the music in the car ride? Wade. If Neena likes it enough, she'll sing along with him.
who covers dinner when they order in? They go 50/50. Wade definitely keeps a list of what Neena likes and hates and refuses to let anyone know she's picky about certain foods.
who is more outgoing? who is more shy? Deadpool 1000000% more outgoing. Merc with the Mouth, remember?
who has the more outlandish fashion sense? They're both tame but Wade can be more outgoing. He teases Domino about her past outfits.
who starts the tickle fights? who ends them? Wade starts them, Dom will end them. Either in giggle fits or sensual fucking.
who has the darker/more "edgy" sense of humor? Wade. And when that happens you better run
who is more competitive when it comes to games? Equally competitive because Neena has the upper hand with just being naturally lucky.
who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth? Neena loves her sweets. Wade will have a little bit of a higher appetite just to recover from regen
who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public? Wade.
who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them? Wade helped with Neena's birthday party (See Gail Simone's run of Domino, he helped with the music)
who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other? Wade cooked pancakes once. Overloaded the whole kitchen. Neena isn't perfect (even with luck) but she knows how to read directions.
who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior? Both. They both don't care. Wade is more over the top than she is and sometimes they'll try to talk the other out of it.
who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other? Both but Wade is quicker. He can tell when her tone of voice is off.
who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)? Wade. He has to learn not to get them both kicked out and Neena will work on getting them a discount if she can.
who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support? Domino. Deadpool will wanna crack jokes and will sit with them but Domino will sit with you in the doctors office. Deadpool will kill anyone that insults you.
who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it? Wade and yes. All the time.
Wade would ask for that. Maybe not the dying part, he wasn't a full masochist, partly why he broke it off with Inez... a guy needed an adamantium pelvis for that trick.
"She does. Who knew my genetics could make someone that perfect?"
Dom couldn't help but chuckle and smile. She always wanted to see Wade succeed. Years of annoying each other, shooting enemies and shouting expletives ...you learn a lot about a person. Especially when one of your members can't die.. "I'm sure she has your cheery exterior and wit. I think that's why Inez gave me the puppy. She said I didn't have anything to come home to."
More than anything, Dom was someone Wade could genuinely admire. Not just professionally either: the grace in which she'd survived surpassed his own. He was glad to know her, to be inspired by her, to work alongside her.
"Pip is the main reason I come by!" Only half true, "Ellie smarter than me! She doesn't run her mouth like an idiot."
@walkitoffrogers
"Don't worry, Stevie, I've got all the frozen taquitos the Unity Squad could ever need. We'll be well-fed all the way through this snowstorm, even if it lasts a week like the weather forecaster said. Pretty sure those guys pick numbers at random, anyway."
"My 'ma used to call me Stevie." He smiled, slightly indulgent. He wasn't asking him not to use it. Thanks to Tony, he'd heard just about every Cap joke possible. It was just an unusual connection. "What's a taquito? Sounds better than an MRE, without even knowing…" He squinted out the window at the quickly falling snow. There was no getting through it at the moment.
"It's tacos, but fried, and weeny, like Tony Stark's ballsack. Probably. You'd know better than me."
Wade pulled pulled out a box of the taco-adjacent finger food, and handed Steve the box after removing its contents.
"I bought a vintage MRE off eBay one time. Glad I have a healing factor. Kinda nostalgic, though... I don't miss that part of special forces."
Hold his hand? Few people would be brave enough to ask that of her. One wrong move - one bit of fabric worn a bit too thin. But then again, it was Wade. He was one of the few people who she wasn’t so afraid of touching. If the man had healin powers that made Logan’s look like a Dollar Tree bandaid…
“Alrigh’ alrigh’, but let go when we light the stove,” she said. And with that she held his hand over to the pantry where she used her free one to open the door. Then grab the Swiss Miss. Then to the fridge for the milk. “…Y’know ya ain’t got anything ta be ashamed of today, righ’? Ya did good. All ya’ll did. Live ta fight ‘bother day. Sometimes tha’s all ya can do.”
She let his hand go as she said she would to light their gas stove where the milk would warm up in a pot. Then she turned and looked back up at him through her curtain of mahogany hair. “Ah suppose ya ain’t told Scott or the professor yet?”
Being around so many hot heads, Rogue wasn't exactly used to people admitting their weaknesses. Let alone when they'd been humiliated. Her eyes softened when she looked at him. The pressure he put on her fingers told her a hell of a lot more than what words could. And she responded in kind, slipping her fingers in between his and locking them together. Palm to palm, she pressed her hand against his and brushed the tip of her thumb against his knuckle.
"Ah'd be happy to, Wade," she replied with a little grin. "Hell, Ah can't wait ta see the Professor's face when Ah mention the word sexy. Ah know it's cruel ta think about, but the ol' man gets all fidgety at the word. All clear-throating and adjustin his tie as he fumbles his words. Funny as Hell, it ain't matter who ya are!"
Rogue giggled at the thought and then added with a little shrug, a nudge, and a wink.
"As if we ain't know what all he gets up to up in spaaace..."
Wade had struggled a great deal with vulnerability, especially when he was younger. Trauma (and societal expectations of masculinity) really could cripple a guy's ability to recognise his emotional responses, let alone open up to the women in his life. Experience, and more than a little therapy, had taught him how detrimental that was, especially since he'd separated from his demonic ex-wife. She never appreciated his efforts to grow, like the Unity Squad had. Rogue especially.
His heart fluttered at her touch. Even through gloves, she made him weak at the knees. How sexy did she think he was, he wondered. Wade moved closer to her, longing to kiss her beautiful lips. The mask was getting hot to wear, now - he peeled it off to reveal the smitten look in his eyes.
Wade grinned at that. "Hey, I don't judge the man, bird babes are totally hot. Aliens in general... don't knock it until you try it!"
Cable sighs, grabs his coffee and finishes the cup, "Sure."
He did, he just doesn't like to make a big deal about it.
Nate was no fun. "Where's your famously dry wit tonight? You aren't gonna sass me? Or teach me a lesson?!"
"Do you need to be taught a lesson Wade?"
He gets up, puts the cup in the sink (not in the dishwasher!), before turning back to face Wade with a growing smirk, "Have you been bad Wade?"
Wade lets out a mock gasp as Nathan approaches him, a dainty hand grasping at his chest, like a Georgian babe swooning over a handsome devil about to ravish her, thusly.
0He pointed over to the sink, "Nathan, you swine, you let the cup on the sink and not the dishwasher! You manly, dominating, beast!"
Wade prodded his friend, in jest, and pulled him in for a kiss. "Maybe I should be the one punishing you tonight. Thy swine."
"Sure I was! That's only about seven years ago in Marvel Years."
He was 41, to be precise. Even at 9 years old he would have been able to win - the junior contest, that is.
"Eating is my superpower! Just like Legion's superpower is a dissociative disorder! My healing factor only makes my eating-loads-of-junk-food power even more potent!"
"Wade, you're saying weird stuff again. Can we just... go burn some evil scientist lab or something?"
Trying to distract him from those weird universe years discussions with arson, will it work?
"I have a healing factor too! and I'm younger, so i can eat loads more than you. I'm still growing."
"I love burning things, Tiny Wolverine. There's a place making counterfeit insulin thats killing people. It's been on my 'pro bono for when I'm feeling sad and need to beat someone's meat' list, I'd love to see how well that place burns."
"I'm more of a knife wife, Wade. Can't call me a bombshell since I don't have any blonde traits." She couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. "If I got swords, I'm sure someone would say I'd look like a Kill Bill ripoff. 100%." She wrinkled her face slightly at the mention of Taskmaster but she gave a small smile of recognition. She couldn't deny Wade of his proud father moment. "So what did she end up getting?"
"You're a bombshell in black and white. Blondes aren't cut out to be as hardcore as you, boo. You could smother a man with your thighs without breaking a sweat and he'd thank you for it."
Was this complimenting her or hitting on her at this point? He wasn't certain.
"Or woman. Or enby."
He smiled, thinking about Ellie. "She can regenerate. Better than I can - and it affects her brain, makes her super smart. She's perfect."
"I um...thank you?" She also wasn't sure where that was going. Dom was certainly a catch but she didn't remember Cable or Colossus asking for that... "You're sweet, Wade. Really. I'm glad she makes you happy."
Wade would ask for that. Maybe not the dying part, he wasn't a full masochist, partly why he broke it off with Inez... a guy needed an adamantium pelvis for that trick.
"She does. Who knew my genetics could make someone that perfect?"
DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE dir. Shawn Levy (2024)
"I'm more of a knife wife, Wade. Can't call me a bombshell since I don't have any blonde traits." She couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. "If I got swords, I'm sure someone would say I'd look like a Kill Bill ripoff. 100%." She wrinkled her face slightly at the mention of Taskmaster but she gave a small smile of recognition. She couldn't deny Wade of his proud father moment. "So what did she end up getting?"
"You're a bombshell in black and white. Blondes aren't cut out to be as hardcore as you, boo. You could smother a man with your thighs without breaking a sweat and he'd thank you for it."
Was this complimenting her or hitting on her at this point? He wasn't certain.
"Or woman. Or enby."
He smiled, thinking about Ellie. "She can regenerate. Better than I can - and it affects her brain, makes her super smart. She's perfect."
Chronic pain and illness really do skew what you consider to be normal.
I'm complaining to a friend about two separate pains I've got going on right now, pains which I would categorize as "annoying," and "distracting," and she's freaking out, like, "Go to the ER!!!!" and it's like, oh, that's right. Normal people go to the ER when it hurts to breathe.
Anyway...
(Just to clarify, I'm, like, 90% sure it's costochondritis, and I'm not actually struggling to breathe. It just feels blegh. The other pain is more distracting and potentially an issue but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it.)
Been telling my (young and abled) physiotherapist for years that I'm in pain all the time and when he asks me to tell him how bad something hurts from 1-10, I really don't know how to answer that. He'll say "tell me if it hurts" and I have to say, every time "you mean... in addition to how much it always hurts?" Anyway I love the guy, but he kept asking the same questions in the same way and not understanding why it was hard for me to answer.
Then I found this graphic here on tumler dot com (I do not remember the source but please add it in comments if you know) and I showed it to him at an appointment.
He started reading from the bottom to the top, reading each "normal" level followed by the "chronic" level next to it, and at first he was laughing. When he got to about 7/4 he stopped laughing and said "okay well this is getting less entertaining and more concerning." He went completely silent for a moment after he finished, then turned to look at me with real concern in his eyes and asked me if this chart was really accurate. And when I said "Yeah, dude" and gave him a big goofy grin and a shrug, I saw something click for the first time.
so deadpool & wolverine was okay, but i don't really get the hype.
the dialogue was still hammed and the narrative still sloppy, even if it was a lot better than the last one i still feel it's lacking finesse.
this is why i keep saying legion is the only MCU Etc. thing that is worth bothering with, noah hawley is genuinely an intelligent writer and most of the fox & disney guys are hacks or 'just' junkfood good. even deadpool can have intelligent writing and I'm bored of superhero movies missing that, the comedy should be what gets you into the cinema not the entire point of the narrative.
don't get me wrong, there was a LOT of good stuff about it. i just won't be rushing to rewatch it. most of the MCU Etc, movies effect me like that.
HIATUS NOTICE.
I'm off on holiday for a week, so won't be doing replies until I get back. Got a starter or two as well that I owe - they're in my drafts awaiting my return!
Seeya, nerds!
Men invented dueling so they could shoot hot loads into eachother
Please Lord not this post
