Promts: “Don’t forget me” “I Tried” “I Hate You!”
Was it good timing? Bad timing? Maybe just a coincidence. Mo GuanShan didn’t know. Point is, that if he hadn’t left math class to go to the bathroom, he would have never seen He Tian walking away with someone.
That morning he hadn’t shown up and Mo GuanShan had assumed that he was just at home. Or skipping class.
«Hey» he said, and it escaped from his lips before even noticing that there was someone walking besides He Tian in the hallway: it was his brother He Cheng.
“Fuck” thought Mo GuanShan, ready to run away at the first sight of danger.
But then, something unusual happened: He Tian stopped, but he didn’t turn around. Only He Cheng slightly turned his face.
Mo GuanShan scowled; He Tian not jumping at him at sight? Looks like the world has finally coming to its end.
He Cheng looked at Mo GuanShan first, then He Tian, still turned around.
He Cheng closed his eyes, placing a cigarette between his lips «Five minutes» he said.
He Tian’s shoulders went up and down, like he was taking a deep breath, but when he turned around, he was wearing his usual smile.
«Little Mo» he said getting closer «You shouldn’t skip classes»
Mo GuanShan was still looking at He Cheng’s back instead of He Tian’s face. Better be sure to have the creepy…well, the most creepy of the two, as far as possible before even open his mouth.
«Are you fucking lecturing me while skipping an entire day?».
He Tian’s smile faltered; he put his hands on his pockets.
«As a matter of fact, I’m not»
Mo GuanShan finally looked at him. He Tian was pale, his eyes dark and heavy with eye bags.
Mo GuanShan grimaced «Are you sick or something?»
He Tian was fidgeting, looking all over the place and clearly battling with himself. The hell was wrong with him?
«If you can’t tell me whatever, it’s not like I fucking care-»
«I withdrawn from school. I’m leaving and…I don’t know if I can come back»
Something got stuck into Mo GuanShan’s throat. He tried to swallow again and again, but nothing happened.
Then he realized that it was just him, holding his breath. He coughed, trying to relax his abdomen. His eyes were unfocused for a moments over He Tian’s t-shirt buttons. He raised them; He Tian was looking a him waiting…for what? Was he expecting pleas? Tears?
Something at the pit of his stomach was pulling him down, yet he was somehow able to maintain his composure, like He Tian has just told him the time.
«And?» he said, voice firm and clear.
He Tian bit his lip «Mo GuanShan…»
Mo GuanShan was surprised by his own composure, it was like his mind has completely shutted down, his body emptied. He just stared blankly at He Tian.
He Tian could almost see the walls building up around Mo GuanShan, brick after brick, so high and so thick, no one or nothing could breach through it.
He Tian smiled, trying his hardest to not do whatever his heart was screaming him to do
«I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. I tried»
«Why would you? It’s not like we’re friends. I told you a lot of fucking times»
He Tian’s eyes widened, he then smiled, shaking his head «You sure did»
Would it hurt later? Mo GuanShan didn’t know, his feelings were numb, sleeping.
Protecting him from doing things that would make it definitely hurt, like asking he Tian where he was going, why was he going away…and if he would ever be able to see him again.
Instead he kept staring back, putting his hands in his pockets «Goodbye He Tian».
He wasn’t going to turn away and walk.
He wasn’t the one cowardy leaving everything behind.
He wasn’t the one running away.
He was going to stand, waiting for everything that could come face first.
He Tian nodded, raising his hand «Goodbye Mo GuanShan»
Mo GuanShan eyebrow twitched, but he wasn’t going to lose, not now.
He looked at He Tian’s hand and with a firm grip, he shaked it. He Tain was still smiling, and Mo GuanShan wondered for a moment if He Tian was playing at the same painful game, but there was no time left.
He Tian’s hand lingered for a moment «Don’t forget me».
Mo GuanShan’s grip grow tighter for a fraction of a second.
«I hate you» he said, and it came out like a live fire within him. Like he was burning from the inside. And it hurt, it hurt so bad he wished it could reach He Tian.
But it was all over as soon as He Tian’s hand slipped away.
«I couldn’t ask for better»
And Mo GuanShan stared as He Tian turned around, as he walked away, as he walked down stairs finally disappearing from his sight.
He looked outside, it was sunny. From the distance he could hear the voice of a teacher lecturing his students to pay attention. A couple of girls were passing by laughing.
Boys on the courtyard downstairs were complaining for the heat. Someone made a joke and everybody laughed.
Mo GuanShan got startled and like in a haze he saw his own leg taking a step forward, towards the stairs.
But he didn’t went any further than that.
He turned around, he had his math class to attend. Walking straight, face up.
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