‘ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᴵ ˡᴵᵛᵉᵈ ,

a strange game. the only winning move is not to play. loved by mads dependent roleplay blog for JERICHORPG.

[meteovoid]

agryos‌.

a rowdy string of insults would hurt less than this. micah wasn’t expecting much, but julian disregarding her existence altogether hadn’t been an option she’d considered in her carefully crafted, long forgotten game plans. the shiba inu promptly obeys, and the gust of wind that follows after him is strong enough to knock her over— the sting of cold hurts as it numbs her, but it’s not something micah has time for and hastily runs after julian.  ‘  hey, i’m SORRY! i—  ’ she rushes to say, taking long strides to catch up with him; even longer to keep up.  ‘  ’m sorry i left, ‘kay?  i should’ve told you— shouldn’t have gone all radio silent on you; a call… ANYTHING.  ’  her voice is hushed and pleading; small, even if she’s being loud and clear.  ‘  the shitty ass text— i’m sorry. i knew you’d try ‘nd stop me. i couldn’t—  ’  words fail her, thoughts and apologies flashing far too fast for her to pick one and fully lay it out. micah reaches out, fingers clutching onto his arm, pulling him into a stop with a pathetic amount of strength.  ‘  just— stop. say something— please.  ’

     words come to him with ease. thought is never put into the statements he make and fluidity is to be found in each sentence. he doesn’t hesitate and he doesn’t stutter because CONFIDENCE rests within every syllable. not now, though. and never when it mattered. he’s an idiot for thinking she’ll let him waltz off, and he doesn’t, either. he knows he expects her resistance the moment it happens, yet he finds himself at a loss for a response. she’s SORRY. he’d heard that before. in a text. one that he was sent without a follow up to. without an explanation attached. she’s sorry and he’s sorry to because he fucking wishes that was enough. julian doesn’t break free from her grip, rather he stands still. an eager pup finds a distraction in the people walking past and julian does the same in the distance which he stares. he can’t meet her gaze and he can’t tear away from her and there’s really not much he can do. words edge on the tip of his tongue in a refusal to form, but they have to. he has to talk or else she will continue to and julian doesn’t know how much more of that he can take. “ why ? ” it’s weak and it’s too late but it’s all he can muster. “ why ? ” the boy looks at her now, through hurt and through abandonment : emotions he knows far too well to reencounter. 

[meteovoid]

torncrown‌.

She snorts, short and bitter. “ What? So you can be a dick right back to me? That’s very ten minutes ago. NUH-UH. I’ll stop with the whole woe is Julian thing, but … ” Legs are tucked under her, and she’s poised forward in an effort to show she’s about to stand, excitement only getting the better of her. “ I am getting us shots. You to forget your relationship drama, and me to forget I was ever coerced into thinking I had to apologise for anything, ever. ” She’s on her feet now, headed towards the door without an answer. “ What’s your poison, Fault in Our Stars? ”

      he could, and he would be. there was only one setting on the older and it was full on dick mode. twenty-something years into his life and the fact was doubtful to ever change. eyes stray away from pippa at the mention of his sunken relationship, although he’s refusing to allow himself down into the sinkhole with it. no moping. “ funny . . . i dunno, think i saw some jäger out there. ” he starts. “ but -- pippa espina, right ? guessing the basic- ” the phrase is spoken through a thick coat of sarcasm, a smile edging on full lips. “ extends to liquor. think you can score us some tequila ? ”

[meteovoid]

svneatcr‌.

she rolls her eyes, a quiet snort joined with the sarcastic movement. “ can’t believe you’re too much of a coward to admit it … ” a laugh. “ i watched you lust over emma frost, so you can’t even try to tell me you read comics for the plot alone. ” a pause at his words, before she erupts in laughter. “ yeah, yeah i do. just like i play videos games for the cute girls. ” she shrugs her shoulders, giving him a dirty look. “ i’m doing it faster than you were. ”

      he’s full of it, and even more so for not being able to admit it. he didn’t watch both fantastic four movies for the plot. no one did. “ think they call that . . . internal misogyny or some shit like that. ” they don’t. and julian knows as much, despite not knowing who the hell they would be. social justice twitter accounts, perhaps. “ yeah, yeah. that’s what you think. ” he scoots further into cushioning, ignoring the heaps of shit they’d spilled on the couch over time. he’d like to think someone out there was washing it, just not him. “ killmonger’s better, anyway . . . ” hotter, too. 

[the-house-of-slytherin]

[hauntedwoman]

[meteovoid]

mahcaulay‌:

# when the existential crisis hits

[meteovoid]

prompt: marika confronting julian about something bad they have done.

     alright, so . . . his pup ? not the most well-behaved. although classes had been taken, and a certification for his service dog status had been given, carl had very selective hearing. only about fifty percent of the time would he listen to julian. the boy’s mother, however, was up in the eighty-five percentage. good for her. but not so good for the brunet with a prosthetic trying to keep his unruly pup in check. carl, the three year old shiba, had most definitely decided to relieve himself on the blonde’s purse as she was busy doing whatever blonde ladies do . . . and julian had done his best to look past it. not so easy when confronted, though. “ you sure you wanna blame your shit on the disabled kid ? ” a go-to. usually worked, he was crossing his fingers this time. “ you know this is a top notch dog, right ? they don’t hand out certifications to just anybody, lady. ”  / @mementoviverc

[javierbardem]

[meteovoid]

svneatcr‌.

she smirks, tilting her head slightly as he changes the film. “ if it makes you feel any better, juju, i objectify women just as much. ” chuckle escapes lips, and then she folds her legs under her, pretzel style. “ i’m sure my observation of how attractive chadwick is won’t set it back too far. i mean, part of it’s being treated as equals, and men objectify women all the time ! ” it’s said as a joke, a shrug of shoulders paired with it. eyes narrow at him when she notes that he’s not just searching the movie. “ gimme that, ” she says, snatching the remote from him. she snorts, shooting him a look. “ are you saying you don’t ? isn’t that like, 90% of the reason guys read comics ? because the girls are hot ? ” 

     she got him there. in fact, he shouldn’t be shocked that she did. the two of them were friends longer than they weren’t. and as friends, the girl had plenty of access to julian’s thoughts and endless rants about emma freakin’ frost. good thing he grew out of that phase. she’s bumped down to his top four now. “ pffh, NO . . . ” a blatant lie and she’d be blind not to spot it. “ you think i read nightwing comics ‘cos the dude’s ripped ? gimme a break. ” yes. yes, he does. “ you’re not doing that any faster, y’know. ” the boy starts again, gesturing towards the tv screen.  

[meteovoid]

torncrown‌.

She’s never been the best at sympathy. She’s always wanted to be — she’s always cared. But it had been, since childhood, a nature that was secondary. She’d loved plenty of people, certainly, but she’d hardly ever cared for anyone as much as she did herself. Self preservation had always prevailed. And that’s why it shocks her, when she says ( to someone just moments ago she’d been insulting as if her life DEPENDED on it ) — “ I’m sorry. ” Frown deepens, and she tries to cover it with the beer pressed to her lips again, another long sip. It’s almost gone now. “ She didn’t say ANYTHING? That’s kind of a cunt move. ”

     no matter how much hurt resided within the boy, he’d never fully be able to express it. blame it on his abandonment issues . . . or don’t. “ it’s whatever. ” julian shrugs, dismissing the emotions felt completely. not today, not ever. he’d be dead before he would whine and bitch about his ex-girlfriend at some rando’s house party. “ she doesn’t care, and i sure as hell don’t. ” bullshit. “ can we drop the whole pity chat it’s starting to freak me out. ” now there’s some truth. “ c’mon, espina . . . hit me where it hurts. ” 

[buffysummers]

[meteovoid]

aliciavikander‌:

Happy Hanukkah everyone! (December 2 − December 10, 2018)

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

[meteovoid]

MICAH SURYADI.

@meteovoid !

she tosses her worn-out backpack onto the back seat of her brand new car— a tricky statement, considering it’s sort of an upgrade from her last vehicle and a staggering downgrade from the last bed she slept in; definitely the type of car that will NEVER be missed from the streets of las vegas. a win, all in all, and she has to cherish those meaningless victories from wherever she finds them.

even in a town she dared call home for three years, micah feels lost; like she’s adrift, bobbing in the waves in the middle of nowhere under the blistering sun. she takes a look around and sees NOTHING of value, yet EVERYTHING’S exactly the same and it offers a sense of familiarity that’s oddly comforting. she meanders downtown without an exact destination ( more like, avoiding to the one place her feet would drag her too if they had free will ), hears a dog bark somewhere and in a blink of a second, a three-legged, tail-wagging shiba inu circles her excitedly, with more barks to spare before he lays down, belly-up and tongue out.  ‘ hi, baby! ’  the words resist against her tongue as she scratches his tummy, and micah, despite the joy that seeing carl brings, feels uneasy. carl is never out alone, and it means juli must be around too, so she tenses up when shortly after she notices another presence within proximity, anxiety bubbling underneath her skin.

micah’s mathed out the scenarios, the different outcomes that the first interaction with julian after ditching jericho would result in, calculated probability versus the unmeasurable factor that love’s supposed to be and she NEVER wins ( it’s not really what she’s after, anyway ). she had picked out the words, with caution & care, and designed a speech, a confession of love that would award her with something akin to absolution. she forgets all of it as she looks up, a tentative smile spread on her lips, bracing herself from the first blow.

‘  leash laws exist for a reason, y’know?  ’

     he supposes he should be over it by now. though he’s not sure what the expiration date to moping is and if there was one he’d broken it too many times to now begin to care. but the truth is . . . despite popular belief, he cares too much ; about everything, about all the small annoyances he claim to pick on for the amusement, all the digs and all the harsh words, his father’s absence and his mother’s misery, and her. most of all he cares about her. see, that’s why he’d never been good at vocalizing feelings. because once they were out there, once walls had been broken down and demolished, the person on the end could still let you down. they could take those emotions and squash them with one single word. or in this case, two. he doesn’t expect to see her ever again, and some part of him doesn’t want to, either. he doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know what to do . . . all he knows is that this is not what he wants. or how he wants it. teeth graze against his lower lip, a sharp whistle tone made for a pup to come hopping his way. leashing the shiba, he barely gives her a glance, and certainly not a word -- nothing more than she’d given him -- and he passes her by. there’s a growing pressure against this chest and there’s a pounding of his heart, but he doesn’t stop. he doesn’t stop and he doesn’t speak and frankly, he doesn’t feel. because if he did . . . all it’d be would be anger. and pain. and if a sliver of emotion is to be let through a patched up wall, it would surely cause a crack expand and for all those feelings stored away to come BURSTING through the crevices. fuck that. 

[meteovoid]

GEORGE KENNEDY.

“ you’re fucking crying your eyes out, juju. and there’s nothing wrong with crying like a girl, you ass. ” eyes narrow behind glasses and she gives him a look that says ‘ whatthefuck, dude. ’ she shakes her head, then sighs, deciding it’s not worth arguing it with him — he’s right, they probably should just change movies. “ okay, okay. we can watch that, but only because chadwick boseman is singlehandedly the most attractive man i’ve ever seen. in my entire life. ” she flops backwards over the arm of the couch, then raises her head to shoot him a quick, playful wink.

     he ignores her commentary, instead reaching for the remote tossed onto an upside down crate. in his personal opinion, a poor excuse for a coffee table, but what could they do. she goes on, and though he’s elected that she has nothing of value to add, he can’t not react. “ way of objectifying men, kennedy . . . just set the feminist movement back fifty years. ” the older argues, a dramatization at best. “ how about, it’s a good ass movie ? ” he goes on, flicking between the categories on the screen rather than simply searching for the film. always going about things the hard way. “ s’that how you rec people the comics, too ? ” he questions, soon opting to doing his best impression of george’s much higher pitched voice. “ yeah, this issue of bp is great . . . you can totally see the outline of t’challa’s ass. ”

[meteovoid]

PIPPA ESPINA.

“ You started it ! ” It’s a CHILDISH rebuttal, one that comes so instinctively she wonders if it’s lost meaning. But really, he had. THIS TIME, at least. She’d come with the intention of apologizing, and look where she’d gotten herself. She always did this. The aggression, the bitchy comments, the escalation of the tiniest of disagreements. It made her uncomfortable to see him candid rather than firing back something about her height or how often she found herself making out with strangers in the corners of the parties they both found themselves in attendance at. It made her less proud of her comebacks, and more ashamed that she said them in the first place. But admittance of this, perhaps, was a step too far. “ I didn’t know, ” she tells him, the mocking usually in her tone entirely disappeared. “ Why? That’s burning question, by the way, not being a bitch. ”

     another chug of his beer and he’s not sure what he’s doing. why he’s at that party, alone, and why he’s speaking to pippa espina in the first place. but he CAVES. he sinks further into couch cushioning, another sip. “ i don’t know. ” he confesses earnestly. he didn’t know, and with the time that had passed - without a single word, he wasn’t all too certain he ever would find out. “ she didn’t tell me. ” the boy continues, eyes avoidant of the girl he’d previously deemed a complete bitch. not exactly someone he’d planned opening up to. let alone about this. nothing really made sense anymore, did it. “ i mean, what kinda bullshit is that, anyway. ”

[ellenripleys]

[meteovoid]

charlesxaviers‌:

#mood

[meteovoid]

DELANEY ROMER.

HERE’S THE STRANGE BIT : there’s a general vibe, maybe, of sarcasm, but delaney decides not to act on it. instead he just smiles, and it pulls at the lines on his face, casual and easy. “it being a little something or other has never stopped me before,” he quips. he’s still grasping the flowers tight, and digs through his pockets for something or other to tie them off, make them easier to hold. “how you know anything about running a business? or flowers?” from anyone else it might be a bit sardonic, too cruel, a test-me sort of inquiry, but there’s something about him that’s genuinely curious.

     the initial comment forces a loquacious boy to go mute : eyebrows coming together, looking as dumbfounded as one could. oh great, he’d offended the one gay guy in a mile’s radius. “ i don’t ! ” he’s quick to hop on the latter topic, hoping his other commentary would go forgotten. “ but hell . . . you give away free shit you lose money. we’re trying to make a profit here, bud, and that’s no way to do it. you even go to business school ? college ? let me guess . . . high school drop-out. that’d explain it. basic math, dude. basic freakin’ math. ”

[meteovoid]

PIPPA ESPINA.

Pippa wasn’t always the — nicest. Most eloquent, or gentle in her words. Or as Julian put it, ‘ politically correct. ’ In fact, most of her comments towards him seemed to the antithesis to it, but it wouldn’t save him from being insulted by her again for just the same thing. “ You know, your whole, I’m too cool to see my friends every day, don’t be so politically correct, sitting grumpy in the corner thing is the PEAK of toxic masculinity. ” She scoffs at him, for emphasis, but her heart isn’t in it. Her own beer is sipped from again, this time more of a GLUG reminiscent of her nights doing keg stands. Knowing her, she’ll end up there tonight too. At the sound of his last comment, however, the back of her neck burns red. And she doesn’t know if it’s partial inebriation, or her own insecurity at how lonely things can be, but she immediately SNAPS at him.  “ I have more than one friend. Or, did you forget your very own ex? I mean, they clearly did. Kinda sad, though, that after George and Micah you’re still a virgin, but … hey, how are you guys doing, anyway? Things all peachy in homeless chic paradise? ”

     the can is cracked open, and to his relief he remains bone dry. but the brunette keeps on yapping, eventually striking a nerve that had never before been quite so exposed. “ no, ” he shoots back. no, it wasn’t all peachy. in fact, he’d heard about two words from his ex-girlfriend since she skipped town. neither which were sorry. neither of which answered the billion of texts that he’d sent her way. no, it wasn’t. “ we broke up. actually. ” he goes on. julian wasn’t usually like this; capable of sharing his troubles, or anything resembling genuine emotion. of course, these words are only spoken out of frustration. and hurt. though the latter wasn’t to be directed towards pippa. “ got any more burning questions . . . or are you just enjoying being a bitch ? ”