Astounding Beyond Belief @astoundingbeyondbelief - Tumblr Blog

this book I’m reading on female evolution for some reason uses bill and hillary clinton as examples of the typical differences between male and female vocal structures and the author is like “imagine if bill clinton had a throat sac like an ape which caused his voice to resonate” don’t say that? I don’t want to imagine that?

tsunflowers

billiam clinton saying his famous line “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in a booming voice that can be heard up to two miles away and everyone starts hooting like monkeys and banging their fists on their chests

aropride

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

#jon bois post #text

Pokémon games teach you to dig through the garbage, but I never imagined this lesson would apply to a Pokémon card show, where I spotted a few packs' worth of cards sticking out of a can at the end of the day, presumably left by some investor type. My roommate and I went through every bin in the vicinity and came up with over 200 cards, including plenty of holos. Left me depressed about the state of the hobby, but they'll find good homes in our collections and at my local library's Pokémon club.

#many libraries have pokemon clubs and would be delighted to take your extras!#pokemon

kuttithevangu

Sometimes I think people’s complaints about queer genre fic boil down to them wanting litfic and not knowing there’s queer litfic. If you wish to read about sad lesbian adjunct professors having unsatisfying sex, rejoice! NPR has reviewed it for you

#queer

unionizedcrabbucket

tyrantisterror

Tonight I watched Totally Killer, the lastest "let's take a premise from an 80's comedy film and make it a slasher horror comedy instead" movie, with this one being Back to the Future But There's a Slasher in It. It was pretty good, but it got me thinking that, fun as these novelties are, they could really use something to shake up the formula before it gets old. Specifically, I think they need to invert it, at least once. Instead of a comedy premise getting a horror twist, let's give an 80's horror premise a teen comedy twist instead.

I want a movie that starts with a Friday the 13th knockoff premise - a hulking undead murderer rises from the grave to terrorize some college kids. But, through a series of slapstick shenanigans, he keeps getting disarmed while going for the kill, and the incredibly drunk coeds he's trying to menace are so hammered that they end up embracing him and bringing him along on their various 80's teenage dramedy hijinks. Cars are raced, parties are crashed, and this hulking murder monster is stumbling along without a clue as to what he can do while everyone drags him into more and more comedic goofball stunts. And every time he thinks he can find a weapon and start killing, some dumb bullshit pratfall occurs and leaves him disarmed again.

And, not to crib too much from the wizard novels I've written, I think to give the plot structure we should exploit the fact that these Jason Voorhees-type slashers often have abusive parents in their backstory, because hey, guess what the protagonists of 80's teenage dramedies also have? Imagine the poor lumbering brute stomping into a college library just to see his would-be victims crying their eyes out as they Breakfast Club monologue about their home lives, and he has a full on Grinch moment as he realizes that maybe he and these sex-crazed teens... aren't so different after all.

And at the end of the movie he kills the dean of the college and faces no consequences, because that's only a slight exaggeration of what usually happens to the authority figures in these movies anyway.

#friday the 13th

passionpeachy

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

acornered

this is such a cute idea I had to draw it hehe

#art

pencilbrony

Part of a nerf gijinka trend

identifying-nerf-blasters

_______ (____)

#nerf #art

eucheon

Today the developer Mint Rocket revealed their upcoming mobile game "Godzilla Defense Force X", a strategy management game where you defend cities around the world from Kaiju using a wide arsenal of bases and weapons coming out in early 2027.

This is basically a revival to the recently shutdown "Godzilla Defense Force" that came out in 2019, and shut down back in February. They said fully shutdown but somehow I can still play it in basically an offline mode on my iPad.