The unravellings of a destined king @mf-stories-blog - Tumblr Blog

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How to Get Over Past Mistakes

1. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, does things wrongs, and has moments of regret. There are no perfect people out there. In that sense, you are just the same as everybody else.

2. Remind yourself that “that was then, and this is now”. You can’t turn back the clocks and change what you did, but you can be a different person in the future.

3. Allow yourself to experience and name the feelings you are struggling with (regret, guilt, shame, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness, etc.) – then make the decision to let those feelings go. In the end, it’s unhealthy to become attached to them.

4. Ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. What would you do differently if you found yourself in that situation again? How can it change the person you are now (so that you feel better about yourself)?

5. Recognise that failings and mistakes are part of the growth process. It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter obstacles, challenges and failures throughout life. Don’t let that stop you from really living life.

6. Remind yourself that “it was what you did, it’s not who you are.” Don’t allow any single event or experience to define you. You are more than – so don’t let that become your identity, or your destiny.

7. Give yourself the gift of a new day and a new start. Forgive yourself, let go of the past, and with confidence move on with your life.

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10 Relationship Killers

1. Breaking trust

2. Lack of respect

3. Jealousy

4. Angry outbursts/ high volatility

5. Making assumptions

6. Unreasonable expectations

7. Bitterness

8. Unforgiveness

9. Being cold and uncaring

10.Failing to prioritize your partner.

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You call it the shadow. I call it primal. Nothing wrong with my animalistic nature. Till I shame it. Then it becomes the shadow.

We don’t realise how much of our shadow self is actually motivated by our fears about what comes so naturally to us.

Sex, desire, jealousy, the longing for closeness/love. The things we are sometimes shamed for, until we internalise the shame.

The suppression of our internal desires, including any personality quirks or eccentric wiring, is actually what causes the shadow to become something that governs us negatively. If we do not shame ourselves for what we are naturally, then there is no fear of the shadow.

The shadow is simply used to show where no light is being let in. This either gives us the task to shine this light, or pass it (them) by.

- Cindy Anneh-bu, on the shadow.

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How to truly love yourself

1. Don’t keep bringing up your past mistakes.

2. Don’t keep beating yourself up for the things you get wrong.

3. Don’t expect things from yourself that you’re not yet able to give.

4. Be proud of all the progress you’ve made.

5. Believe that you deserve to be respected.

6. Believe that you deserve to be wanted.

7. Believe that you deserve to be loved.

8. Accept, respect and love yourself, just as you are.

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Vogue Korea August 2016, ph. Hong Janghyun, Styled by Lee Jiah

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Unfair & Lovely: “The Palace of Gold” by Amrapali challenging Asian beauty standards with brown models

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Maya Miki in her photo book ‘Guy’, photos by Kishin Shinoyama, Takarazuka Revue Company 1997

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Errors in Thinking that Create Anxiety

1. All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

2. Overgeneralization: Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”)

3. The mental filter: Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

4. Diminishing the positive: Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”)

5. Jumping to conclusions: Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“I can tell she secretly hates me.”) or a fortune teller (“I just know something terrible is going to happen.”)

6. Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen (“The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”)

7. Emotional reasoning: Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”)

8. ‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’: Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rule

9. Labeling: Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

10. Personalization: Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control (“It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”)

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm

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i finally feel Represented In Media