I've been easy on myself lately. It's been a nice respite from the constant scratching and yearning and wondering and even the occasional moping. If five years ago, I were to tell myself of all the things I'd see, places I'd go, deeds to be done, I'd probably smile shyly and pat myself on the back. But five-years-younger-me was at a different place in life, and as for present-me, I'm still not at a place where I think I can or should be. I spent all day yesterday at home barely leaving the house, training my new puppy and recuperating from two months on the road. I felt trapped in a prison of unproductive constraints, but I also felt released into a place of responsibility-free, numb, floating. It was a weird feeling of being at odds with myself: the hustler vs. the lazy guy on the couch. At one point, I listened to my first album "down like hail" from start to finish, probably for the first time since I released it in 2011. It brought me back to many the early places where this musical journey have taken me, and motivated me to continue pushing forth. It also posed a serious question. Which way to go? I'm in a precarious position creatively, where I haven't been entirely pigeon-holed yet and I still have the freedom to explore the many whimsical tangents that befall me. It's fun to explore different styles and sounds, and it leaves one open to learning something new. But that has left me unsure of what my next album might represent. Will the growth I've been through and the truth of the present-me unsheathe itself? My latest songs are somewhat dissociative and come together like a playlist of different moods, eras, attitudes, etc. Will I be what friends, family, fans, pundits, critics will expect of me? I tend to have a knack for surprising even myself sometimes, so there's really no hope of predicting any outcome beyond that. All I know is that however slow the pace may seem now, I don't plan on stopping or giving up. Tortoise and the hare status. I'm ok with taking it slow until the speed picks itself up. I'm just trying to be ready for what comes next.
izzy806
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
romaincrisis