Michael hell

just a blog of a nerd who likes bob Marley, 90's soft drinks, and retro games

[dearestconnormurphy]

My Jane Austen / Bridgerton DEH inspired AU.

[cottageaesthetic]

[connormurphy98]

Anyone who reblogs this will get a random musical theatre song in their ask/ messages

I promise!!

[bullletproof-love]

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

[comic-canary]

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

[edmundo-noches-buckley]

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

[lotrlocked]

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

[ive-got-a-dark-side]

This is the parent I want to be omg

[marybeatriceofmodena]

I went to a nun school. 

The nuns there were like, so rad. 

It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there. 

There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy. 

So what happened? 

The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day. 

Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.” 

So I was at my desk during class looking like this: 

[musicalhell]

Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.

[knitmeapony]

If the Catholic church were run by like 90% of the nuns I know, the world would be a much better, much cooler place.

[afterastorms-deactivated2022051]

have y'all seen this because… its very important and I love this cast and I’m crying

[ryukogo]

a spiritual successor to this

based on this

[ryukogo]

context: we discussed the concept of tweek as the local mom to all the younger kids [aka ruby and karen, ike and the rest of the kindergarten aged kids] in the discord chat

[cheese24k]

Wait a second, am I tripping balls?

[thankyourluckystars13]

He returns.

The magical Lost Woods accordion unicyclist.

[askkleinphynsfw]

WELCOME!

ask nsfw questions for con and jare in the ask box!

[just-shower-thoughts]

The majority of notable people assassinated have been supporters of peace and nonviolence (MLK, RFK, JFK, Rabin, Sadat, John Lennon) while violent leaders are rarely assassinated

[askguyslikeus]

J: snrk yeah we haha cronch that kush on the daILY HAHA 

M: it aint a good day unless ur munchin that marijuana yknow

((thank you to guest artist @bingtart !!!))

[dededeman]

[rubiline-deactivated20210204]

ive said this before and ill say it again: notice how meta knights costume has no seams. meta knight killed a person. meta knight fucking killed this penguin and is now residing in their body

[newyorksjojo]

or maybe he just has the seams on the inside like anybody sewing a penguin disguise would do because he takes pride in his work instead of being a lazy glutton like Kirby who just waddles around like a fucking idiot eating everything in sight like that’s why Meta Knight is so embarrassed whenever you beat him and his mask comes off and he looks just like Kirby because an honorable knight of his caliber doesn’t want to be associated with that shitty-ass pink blob that somehow always saves everybody every god damn time just by eating things

[anem0nesiac-deactivated20231104]

meta knight wrote this post

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

Hey Guys

[caden]

hey. could you delete this? dont like seeing it on my dash or in general

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

fuck you i spent 15 minutes in snapchat making this image purely for the purpose of making people uncomfortable

[askguyslikeus]

J: im really more of a cat pers-

M: JEREMY THATS GREAT BUT ALSO WERE TALKING ABOUT DOGS AND LOOK AT THESE DOGS

J: shit u right

(( thank you to guest artist @miikpal !!! ))

[michael-hell]

After the duel with Eaker

Alex: can you describe the guy that shot you?

Phillip: yeah he was not very friendly

[prompt-master]

Jeremy is that guy who doesn’t put on the wii remote strap and ends up launching it across the room and breaking a vase

[prompt-master]

Clingy and Distant

@omelettesareevil asked: Could you write a fic where once upon a time rich and jake are arguing like hella bad to the point where something gets said which hurts rich but jake didn’t mean it because it was in the heat of the moment and he goes to Jeremy for help and Jeremy helps him feel. Egger then jake apologizing and they live happily ever after by

Oh god this is longer than I realized and I was going to go back and add more detail I’m sorry guys lol, maybe it’s just writing mobile makes it seem long but!!

HERES THE FIC

The one thing Jeremy didn’t expect that night was for Rich to come knocking at his door at about 10 o clock. Jeremy thought that it would maybe be Michael, his best friend came over at random times when he was anxious or just needed company. So Jer didn’t bother to make himself decent, he stood at the door, toothbrush in mouth, and hair a flop of curls. He instantly knew something was wrong when Rich didn’t make fun of him, just glaring at the ground waiting to be let in.

The next ten maybe fifteen minutes were spent in a semi-comfortable silence. The main reason it was only semi-comfortable was that it was silence, Rich never really had these silent moments. Jeremy couldn’t help but be worried. He let the boy in, closing the door behind him and doing basically all the work for him. He took off his jacket, gave him a cup of orange juice and he sat him on the couch. He left only to rinse the minty foam out of his mouth. He came back to find Rich in the exact same position: sitting in his couch and staring sadly into the cup of orange juice.

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