So I'm still crying...

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@michaeljngo
So I'm still crying...
Praying.. with all honesty and sincerity, is never a bad thing. It's the one thing I should never let go of, to keep true to myself and come down in all humility before You.
Fixed dispensability....
In dire need of Thy Grace, it seems . . . in a completely "I don't know what to do" state of mind.
What I know will break... will still break me regardless of time. What to do..hmm.
I'm still really at a loss of words, apparently..
I wonder.... why. but can I even ask you that question..?
Not a single thing has changed since then. Not an inkling of an idea how to survive as well..
Given how insignificant I am... the only place and thing I'm certain I'm allowed to do is to keep quiet to myself. Like an idiot, I guess.
Simply left without a choice.
.......What's supposed to be my reaction now?....
It's not that I've changed.. I haven't at all.
I pray for Thy Grace, that I speak the right things and make the right actions, despite difficulties beyond myself. Despite my quivering, my stumbling feet, frozen in the ground, Grant me that bit of courage to stay by the principles and beliefs I ought to. Even in my distraught, grant enough compassion still to show others who You are.
With death that is but looking guaranteed. Looking ahead, I can’t surmise how incomprehensible the things I know I ought to do are….how surviving would be even possible. But still, I know your Grace is there. humbly I know where I stand. humbly my eyes are open, my ears are listening. humbly, my steps are tracked. my actions are kept in line with much meekness and altruism. what tragedies may come upon me. what further crushes my soul. what paralyzes me with pain. still, let me not be swayed from the earnest truth of what ought to be done, ought to never be compromised, to be kept true.
With my soul that can only take so much and my hands that can only do so little each day, grant me Thy Grace.
With death that is but looking guaranteed. Looking ahead, I can't surmise how incomprehensible the things I know I ought to do are....how surviving would be even possible. But still, I know your Grace is there. humbly I know where I stand. humbly my eyes are open, my ears are listening. humbly, my steps are tracked. my actions are kept in line with much meekness and altruism. what tragedies may come upon me. what further crushes my soul. what paralyzes me with pain. still, let me not be swayed from the earnest truth of what ought to be done, ought to never be compromised, to be kept true.
Far too much misconceptions over the reality of things... but at the end, You have a purpose for it and all. With the little that I'm able to do, and with what little courage I have left, grant me Thy Grace.. that I still strive yet continue to be in Your Steps.. life ahead is impossible without You and Your Provisions.