Hedonistic Alien

𝔎𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔩𝔶𝔫

[dafancyuhinspiration]

[thebaselinecollective]

[icaseybaybee]

[dafancyuhinspiration]

[werenotreallystrangers]

Your body usually knows first

[cyberxbattalion]

[icaseybaybee]

[l1amaani]

a woman obsessed with herself always wins ⊹

[valenciiaa]

[thashiznittt]

[rabidstray-deactivated20250509]

Trying to get my guts rearranged by a dork with zero rizz

[badpercc]

Its people out here who hate me just cus im not going for they bullshit

[thinkingabout-girls]

one time my mom and i were talking about autism and she said if i got it from anyone i got it from my dad, a man who has been buying and sorting pokemon cards for several months straight and likes to memorize license plates and then quiz my mom on them. and then she remembered that my father is not actually biologically related to me (#childofdivorce) and lost her shit laughing. i got that proxy autism

[sandmandaddy69]

[havingapoemwithyou]

asking about you by Eloise Klein Healy

[bougie-bitch]

Smiling increases your face value.

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged