Midnight Mess

Poems that flow out at midnight Creature blog of why-even-bookish

[midnightmessofemotions]

I refuse to spend my time with someone who makes me feel unwanted. You say it sounds like a good bye note. I’m glad the point came across loud and clear. If you truly enjoyed spending time with me you wouldn’t send me away so often.

[midnightmessofemotions]

You say I have anger

Hiding right under neath the surface

It’s going to ruin your life

You say to me

You see that I am a tiger

Pacing back and forth

Tail twitching with anger

I agree with your statement

I am angry

I am angry that I am not allowed to be angry

I am not allowed to be sad

Or frustrated

Nervous

Scared

Anxiety driven

I have spent too long in a cage

A cage of smiles

A cage of happiness

A cage of content

I have emotions

Strong, loud emotions

They guide me and lead me

I react strongly to injustice around me

If I don’t, who will?

The next person locked inside a cage?

You may say I am angry

It may ruin my life.

But if I change what’s wrong

If I choose to let people know I am human

I have emotions

Then I say let it.

[midnightmessofemotions]

Sure she is younger and prettier, but will she suit you as much as I thought you suited me?

[midnightmessofemotions]

Your smile makes me melt

I’m so tired trying to figure you out. My brain is jumping through hoops and there is nothing I understand, even days later. If I was brave enough I would demand an explanation, but I promised I wouldn’t ask. I won’t demand your attention. So stay in your bubble, afraid to love. Let me know how that works out if you want, but I might be long gone. 

~I’ve spent too much time on you already

[midnightmessofemotions]

You see, I say that because I’m raging inside. I have so many things to say, but nothing at all. It’s slowly eating me, some days so slowly I don’t notice it, others it’s devouring me. I fight against it, I scream and yell and cry. Yet it doesn’t help, as I’m just going to erase this. My words are quieted before they are even released because they aren’t healthy. They aren’t nice. They are useless. But they are what’s racing through my head. It’s everything I want to say, but everything I’m afraid to say. Because once this is sent, it’s instant damage. It can’t be ignored.

[midnightmessofemotions]

I’m a mess, I’m addicted, and I can’t stop myself

[midnightmessofemotions]

Gotta restart the process all over again

[midnightmessofemotions]

The shit I think through is getting old

[markv5]

Когда ты накуренный и не помнишь, как выключается кран

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

slorp

[durbikins]

[quotemadness]

We lie best when we lie to ourselves.

Stephen King (via quotemadness)

[midnightmessofemotions]

Lies scattered off of my tounge, brushing off words of concern. I’ve told everyone everything so okay, everything is fine. I’ve moved on, things have been deleted. But somewhere hidden are those memories I’ve held on too. Those 2 am moments when I need to look, they are there. A constant reminder, a memory, a feeling, lingering.

[midnightmessofemotions]

I think I'm dropping back into depression and I'm hating myself for it

[midnightmessofemotions]

Do you

Miss me like I miss you? Do you sit late and night and dream about my touch and my voice? Because right now phantom fingers are tracing patterns across my thigh. I can hear Quiet wispers in the night sky. And the worst part, it's all yours.

[midnightmessofemotions]

Do you remember when I sent you k that one time? Can I do that so we can argue again? I miss you

[midnightmessofemotions]

How do I pass unnoticed. I’m sitting among friends, but my voice fades, laying underneath their conversations. talk, talk, talk, how do they do that? Why does my words disappear? I have no impact here. Am I just a ghost? Do I exist just too be a body? 

[midnightmessofemotions]

Rats, Rats!

The rats, oh the rats!

They are hiding, peering from the shadows. Waiting, observing. When the time comes they will dance. They will dance across the stage doing all the foul deeds expected of them, for no other creature will do. The imagination calls for rats, so the rats will answer. They answer the call and then retreat back into the shadows, the shadows of the mind of the caller. The one who imagines the stage, who sets and lays out the story. Oh yes, the rats will come and dance when called. After all, who else would answer such a foul call.The rats will come for the authors call.

[midnightmessofemotions]

Awake

Exhaustion is running through my body, weighing me down like a ton of bricks. My joints sore from a hard days work and my back aching. I need sleep, I should sleep. The days gone and it's deep night now. The time of mystery and wonder has set in. It is the witching hour and there is much to be done. My mind wonders many miles exploring much territory, unable to rest. Days are a time of practical matters while nights are a time of dreams; and I live in the dreams.