cherry valley forever
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art blog(derogatory)

izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
I'd rather be in outer space šø

PR's Tumblrdome
Monterey Bay Aquarium

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£
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dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins

@theartofmadeline
RMH

titsay
taylor price
Keni
Not today Justin
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@mightyaphrodytee
So glad I left X when Trump got elected (account still here but inactive). How people can still support Elon Musk is beyond me.
Listening to a true crime podcast in which the widow of the murdered man learns of his affair with his co worker lady that lasted for some time and was a major affair for both parties. So the co worker broke it off, and the man was relentless, calling, dropping by knocking on her door, threatening to fire her, etc.
The wife recalls a time when her husband was āmiserableā for months. That must have been after the co worker broke off the affair.
I was miserable for years after the end of my affair. But I donāt think my husband noticed. If he did, he never tried to talk to me about it by directly addressing what he knew was the end of my affair. Too scared.
What a shame.
I donāt know if Iām yet fully here, but something to think about.
The underlying theme here is important though:
"Don't let the only thing you take from this election loss be limited to instinctive re-affirmation of all your priors."
We can't all have all been right all along!! That's impossible actually.
Reflect critically on what only serves to reconfirm your prior beliefs, and make sure to leave space for insights that are either new or challenge what you previously understood the world to be.
Let us review:
Jay trauma dumps on me for three hours a week ago yesterday. I called him with a yes/no question, but every time I tried to disengage, he kept talking. Gail tried to interrupt multiple times and he ignored her. He would say Iāve gotta go sheās gonna kill me but then KEEP GOING. Finally she called on the office line, and he had to answer it. Brief discussion. He sounded perturbed, said goodbye for real, and we hung up. It was 8:30!
The next day I text a photo I just received of Jane and Sam, no text. I got back a frosty and very un-Jay-like, condescending text stating that he wouldnāt be looking at this phone for a long time because Iāve got to prepare for the trial I told you alllllllllllllllll about on Friday.
I said well ok but you asked me to watch some video and tell you my opinion before jury selection starts on Monday, and I asked whereās the video?
No reply to any of the above.
I do not think Gail likes Jay having a familial relationship outside of their family.
She was an only child and doesnāt know what itās like to share a past since birth with another human being.
Jay was scheduled, has been scheduled for at least a month, to give a 45-minute speech at a lawyer convention right fucking here in Austin
Heās been blaring it all over social media.
I said, both via IG comments and directly into his ear on an earlier call (the one where I got all the photos from Sophieās apartment heās paying for, on top of out-of-state tuition) that if he avoided coming to my residence and/or meeting me for lunch or dinner or literally whatever, then HE WILL NOT HAVE THIS SISTER ANYMORE, to which he laughed nervously while avoiding setting a date and time to meet up
I texted him the night before and said will I see you tomorrow or not?
NO FUCKING REPLY
After 24 hours, I block him on all platforms, phone, text, carrier pigeons, ravens, just everywhere. BLOCKED.
It will take his self-obsessed, dishonest, dissembling self at least six months to notice ANY of this
His fucking birthday is in 20 days and I canāt remember a year I didnāt call him and sing HB to him, or vice versa. Itās been a very, very long tradition.
JFC I donāt wanna talk to him or think about him, Iām so hurt and disappointed that either he lets Gail GATEKEEP him to the extent that he canāt even COMMUNICATE with me openly and honestly (is is possible she deleted my messages? Did she write that weird last text he ever sent me? Will I ever know?)
I AM HIS ONLY FULL SISTER.
Edit:
He noticed the block within HOURS, he forced a phone confrontation, a ton of emotional shit was expressed both ways, he apologized, I unblocked him, and I fervently hope this never happens again. Ever.
cast photo, the decameron (via reisydee on insta)
my condolences to every american bruce springsteen fan who has to witness born in the usa egregiously misinterpreted as a patriotic song over and over again today
Iām So Afraid is Fleetwood Macās Comfortably Numb in terms of structure, emotion, and powerful guitar solos. Lindsey is so overlooked/underrated, and then you see this. I bet David Gilmour loves his playing.
While Family Business Beer Company searches for a new location closer to Austin, they've put the Dripping Springs property up for sale (x)
florida!!! by taylor swift feat. florence + the machine
MY FIRST VISIT TO FLORIDA, January 1995, Palm Beach
Dadās funeral, the whirlwind of seeing Rachel and Keelan for the first time in 12 years, absorbing the loss even as I felt no true grief for the man, only grief for a wound that would now never be healed, grief that my daughter lost a POTENTIAL actual grandfatherāthe last she had, staying in THAT HOUSE/MANSION IN PALM SPRINGS, Boz being shattered, Karina and Dorothy and Walter and their grief, the Ireland of it all being SO HEAVY, how warm and sunny it was even in late January, the High Catholicism funeral in the cathedral complete with incense and me (ME!) being asked to do a READING of some selectedā¦scripture?āmustāve been, I canāt remember because honestly, it was all too much. Two days. Not enough yet too much all at once.
Yes Iām haunted but Iām feeling just fine
FLORIDA!!!
SECOND VISIT TO FLORIDA: April 1997, Orlando
With James, to Disney World and Universal Studios, Clay has a condo for us, surprise! Clayās already there! Iāll pay for all the admission to everywhere if you just pay for your flight, DEAL!, being dependent on a cane, in constant pain while weight-bearing but my dr had not yet figured out what it was, seeing Rachel again under much better circumstances, light recreational drug use while partying with James and Clay and Rachel on whatever island that was, late at night, everybody drunk, we were drunk, Rachel and Clay hitting it off and dancing with a hundred other people VERY SUGGESTIVELY, and Jamesās subsequent meltdown over Clay wanting to be somehow sexual with A WOMAN and heās a whore and on and on and then the next day sober acting like it never happened because nothing whatsoever happened between Rachel and Clay omg, going on all the rides before everybody else, no standing in line, because I was LITERALLY CANE DEPENDENT, the sensory overload, it was all 100% amazing and I was very sad to leave.
This was the first significant amount of time I got to hang with Rachel, and I fell in love. Sisters!
I have some regrets
Iāll bury them in
FLORIDA!!!
THIRD VISIT TO FLORIDA: November 1999, Palm Beach, Rachelās wedding
Drunk, emotional, fabulous experience that felt like living through a hurricane. Of feelings! The Palm Beach Hotel, the spa at the PGA Gardens, the last day brunch on the beach when it was cloudy and drizzly and windy, the rehearsal dinner at that dope restaurant on Worth Avenue, the party at the Phippsbergerās with Inigo spraying tequila into my open mouth with a spray bottle and drunk driving golf carts around the estate, Boz in a cow suit (!!!), talking to Walter and getting some details about Dadās childhood, feeling very Irish, very Butler heavy, Marie getting so hammered she fell down on the pavement (which, boy do I retroactively empathize with how bad that mustāve hurt), that chat with Jeannie about Dad omg, Mirandaās blossoming beauty that was definitely attractive to boys, the fun she had being a bridesmaid, her and Blanaidās instant connection, that awful Patrick, getting high with Keelan at the reception in the tall hedges in front of Dadās memorial tree, that friend of Dadās who sat at our table and upon learning who I was, informed me that my father hadnāt been married prior to his marriage to Rachelās mom, with such audacity and authority, my polite yet forceful recitation of the fact that I was, in fact, Jimās oldest biological DAUGHTER and oh btw this girl next to me is his ONLY GRANDCHILD SO FAR, and him taking a moment to process, then saying ohhhhh, New York. Yeah, asshole, I thought. NEW YORK. After that he realized who we were, asked about Jay, and kissed our asses for hours. Hilarious. A fever dream. Joy and sorrow and gratitude and love all in one chaotic three-day weekend.
Itās one hell of a drug
FLORIDA!!!
FOURTH VISIT TO FLORIDA: March 2001, Daytona Bike Week
Wild veer between severely traumatic and utterly blissful. Met Lisa <3 Day. Loved her. Fran and Ron ditto. The other Ron, the one who gave us his cat before he retired. Waking and baking (except my husband.) Copious quantities of alcohol. Too much alcohol, as it turned out. The 10 pills, the hate in my heart for my husband, the ambulance, the ER, the coldness he displayed towards me for the rest of the trip despite knowing HE was the reason I kinda wanted to die and which he continued for a few days after we got home, as per usual. Passive-aggressive fuckery. One hell of a drug, charcoal is.
Tell me Iām despicable
Say itās unforgivable
FLORIDA!!!
FIFTH VISIT TO FLORIDA: the very next month, April 2001
Orlando, West Palm, Palm Beach, Cocoa Beach, Julie and Sharon and Lisa Day (again!), in Cocoa Beach when the weather was so bad the wind was whipping the sand straight into our FACES, rendering sitting on the beach impossible (we joked it was free microdermabrasion to make us feel better that the one day we had all together was under such shitty weather), getting drunk instead and ordering takeout from Dennyās the next morning, hungover as fuck, Rachel and baby Liam, her husband basically ripping me off for $50 by taking my money to go get me weed, never to be heard from again), getting cafe con leches and Cuban sandwiches with Keelan, madness, escapism, all manner of substance abuse (just weed and alcohol, but some of the drinks and liquor store runs produced some increasingly complex cocktails), desperately delaying my return to real life, which was circling the drain back home, the dread was a physical thing I felt every single minute, but thankfully cell phones were limited, we didnāt have any, but stillā¦and yet. Control was exerted and I submitted and went home strictly because I love my daughter.
So you pack your life away
Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas
FLORIDA!!!
And Iāve never been back. It all seems like a fever dream of colors and heightened emotions and hotel rooms and mansions and a hurricane with my name and me and my ghosts and laying to rest all the bodies that had been on my body and barricading myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, check, check, check.
Plus, āNew York Timesā talks about Austinās bromakases, and more news
The most pronounced thing about Schwartz is his passive-aggression. Everyone knows what his public facing image is: aw-shucks, finger-in-mouth, breathy speaking, smiley NICE GUY. No one is more aware of this than Schwartz himself. Since Scandoval, that mask is ten times thicker. I donāt doubt the guy has suffered as a result of Sandoval being utterly vile, and I understand that they go back a long way, theyāre business partners, and maybe even more importantly, theyāre a longstanding duo on VPR. Theyāre a package deal for the show.
However, I have seen the podcast appearances, this seasonās aftershows, and his WWHL appearances, and Iāve just been struck by how frequently Schwartz makes these impromptu comments, always under his breath/quietly, and always followed by a lightning-fast āKidding!ā or āNah, that was a joke!ā or the equivalent. Iām sure he thinks that by qualifying his asides as humor, we wonāt pay any attention. But he did the exact same thing to Katie, and in both cases, the remarks that come out of his mouth are super cutting, mean, nasty, and angry.
We can all, as an audience, easily see that Sandoval is a narcissistic douchebag who has made and continues to make the most idiotic missteps. Like, theyāre soooo dumb. Ergo, heās not that bright. I think Schwartz is FAR smarter than Sandoval, and Iām telling you right now: that nice guy is repressing an enormous amount of rage, and I want to see him EXPLODE.
*Bethenny voice*āTHATāS MY OPINIONNNNNN!!!
Keith Richards is 80 today š
Thanks for all the music! Keep rocking, sir. I love you very much.
John Lennon + his iconic orange glasses (1971)
Bandsplain episodes I have loved like life, many two-parters, multiple hours EACH so like, do the math.
The Cure
Metallica
Radiohead
Smashing Pumpkins
R.E.M.
U2
The Smiths
Third Eye Blind
RHCP
I want to be Yasi Salemās BFF. Itās such a niche cross-section? I feel very seen!
To Listen: PJ Harvey, Blink-182, and a shit ton of others I canāt recall. My time is 100% spent listening to this podcast. I need to do other things though!!!!
Obsessed