A/N: Fourth year, fourth volume. This one started rough but, as the latin saying goes - Fortis cadere, cedere non potest, the brave might fall, but he shall not yield. It was engraved on a gladius sword my father had forged for me. I guess I should stick by it. As always, thank you for being with contentloadingandstuff all the way up to here!
Administrative things first - here's the requesting rules, my AO3, my Kofi.
Blog Masterlist - I | II | III
Fluff
Preferences - An Arlecchino x Male!Reader Short
Ashen Sweetness - Arlecchino x Male!Reader
Baby Moments - Nilou & Arlecchino x Male!Reader
Smut
~Yelan's Naughty Dice Game~
Angst
Dark Days - Ningguang x Male!Reader
Hurt/comfort
Writer's Plight - Citlali x Fanfic-Writer!Male!Reader
Don't. - Lumine x Male!Reader
Other
Equals AU Masterlist
My thanks go on to you, dear reader, for the time of your day!
I'm not sure if I even have the strength to review this movie. It's a 170 minute lesson in tedium. You watch Nolan vandalise a great story and smear his shitty "war is bad, humans are bad, gods don't care and the world is ending" diatribe across the screen while spoonfeeding you the abomination that his senile mind spat out.
This movie is not The Odyssey, it only wears the flayed skin of the story it pretends to be. It prances around in the theatre, blood of ancient Greek culture spilling across the boards, and expects you to clap like a fucking seal. And a lot of people did!
It's boring. There are like forty minutes that are enjoyable, the rest are spent on dull shots of people talking. And it's no Game of Thrones, trust me. These dialogues are bad. The plot, hacked apart and glued together into some bizzare effigy to doomerism and modern intersectionalism, makes little sense and is far less interesting.
It's dreary. Nolan took a beautiful area of the world, a very colorful even kitche period of fashion, and decided to just either remove the period accurate, vibrant clothes, or simply put some depressing filter on the camera. Seriously Nolan, this is film school freshman level of cinematic failure. If I wanted to see a cold, dark, depressing puddle, I'd drive to the beaches of the Baltic Sea.
It's nonsensical. Nolan cut out a lot of story elements, like the whole "I am nobody" trick with the cyclops - and by the way all other cyclops, the children, the friends, the wives, everyone - and the guidance of Athena, thus creating a lot of needless plot holes.
It contains a lot of progressive propaganda, and it's not a story about the bronze age. It's a bunch of people dressing up in hideous costumes ordered from Temu and parading around, pretending to be Greeks. There are very few Greeks, by the way, it's the fucking Downtown LA we all live in today. Why are there asians amongst the Spartans? Hm? Is that some exotic Nubian slave bought from Semite slave traders, sitting next to Menelaos- Oh wait, that's Helen. Helen of DeTROYt. Why is Athena some vaguely muslim little girl? Where is her shield, her spear, her helmet? Is that black man in Odysseus' crew some Berber mercenary? What do you mean Agamemnon married some barbarian from the deserts instead of an achaian princess? Why is Jango attempting to marry into a Greek family? Why is Circe, a dazzlingly beautiful nymph that lived in a palace, now an unattractive old woman living in a dirt hut? She had to be stunning to make the soldiers drop their guard... What in the holy fuck are these people wearing? Did Jeff Bezos sell off some of the crap that his crew bought for Rings of Power to Nolan? Why are there no real bronze weapons and armor pieces in this movie? Why are there no slingers, which were far more common than archers in that area? Why are the women wearing some rags instead of dazzling dresses and why are their heads not heavy with intricate golden jewelry? Why are these people, living in a very hot climate, wearing these kinds of heavy clothes? Who let discount Darth Vader onto the set of this movie about ancient Greece? Why does Penelope act like a feminist, complaining about not being able to rule due to being a woman, when she realistically should not have the cultural means to even form this complaint? Why is a woman pretending to be a hardened warrior (delivering the news that the horse is a gift from Athena) that spent ten years besieging a city? Wait, say that again? It's a man? You must be joking, no way that, uh, person could run around in all this armor, let alone hold a shield and thrust a spear. Don't tell me Nolan made his movie a trans affirmation exercise. Anyway, why is Telemach such a wimp? He is the son of a king, he would be raised as such, in reality he would be devoured by his rivals before he aged 12. And why did he pretend to not be a prince when he visited Menelaos? Where do all the kings and leaders have their color guard? Why did Odysseus lay on some random stairs in Troy and why did nobody take notice that a victorious king is crawling in the dirt? Anyway, why did the Greeks set fire to Troy before plundering it? And why did they go killing women willy nilly, if we all know what happened to women - ie they were assaulted and taken as slaves, which was normal in this age? Why did Odysseus become so distressed by the fall of Troy? This kind of destruction was considered the victors' right, something good and correct, especially that the Trojans were dishonorable. Why is there so much atheism-adjecent talk in this movie about a war that had as much to do with humans as with gods, and that had a significant religious element to it? Oh right we removed gods. But we did not remove the monsters because then this clearly not Odyssey could not pretend to be the Odyssey to lure in victims- I mean viewers.
Oh and they deleted or changed all the powerful female characters. Athena barely exists, Penelope is an emotionally incontinent pushover, Calypso is no longer loving but understanding, Circe has been degraded to the lowest rung of the socioeconomic ladder.
But! We made Agamemnon's wife black, and her sister too, so now we can have the evil white man sacrificing the poor, defenceless black woman to pagan gods, and then be rightfully killed by an opressed black woman! Aren't you happy?! I swear to god, Nolan had to have gotten a lobotomy to make this shit. In the original Odyssey, when describing the Cyclops, Homer calls them scummy bandits, mentioning explicitly that the Cyclops place themselves in peakside caves and command their women and children "like masters", uncaring of the others?
By the way, I nearly died of laughter when Penelope said "are we the sea peoples?". No, love, no we're not. We're Itacans for once, and two, sea peoples are real people, not a metaphore. We have met them countless times by this point, and we also did NOT call them the "sea peoples", that's a moder designation, we called them by their names. Like the Tyrrhenians. Or just pirates, barbarians and raiders, which they were.
So in short, if I stepped into Nolan's movie, I could geniuinely confuse it for feces.
Okay, just to sweeten the review. Did you know that Mycean women not only had a lot and I mean a lot of jewelry, but also rarely covered their chests? Such was the fashion of the time, something considered completely normal, more, correct. Ah, to live in such times. And men were often running around naked, or just barely covered too, so it's not like the eye treats were reserved for just one side.
Oh and if we need black people in this movie not about black people, how about, instead of killing the 108 bastards harassing his wife alone, Odysseus bursts into the halls of his palace with 50 mercenary Berber peltasts and proceed to massacre the traitors mercilessly? And we could have them wear green as an homage to Rome Total War. If we need asians in this movie not about asians, then we can have a scene with chinese traders, maybe in Sparta.
A/N: This is, as promised, just a bit of worldbuilding I wrote for Equals. Includes my commentary in which I point out some things that came to mind while writing. Hopefully you find it interesting.
A/N: I really need to write something happy for Equals. Any requests?
Context: In Equals, male kitsune make up a small percentage of the species' population. Over time, they (referred to as "dogs"; female kitsune are "vixens") were reduced to little more than precious slaves. This text describes a part of the ideology behind this enslavement - vulpinism.
CW: No direct descriptions, but animalisation, heavy misandry, institutionalised abuse, rationalisation of violence, implied sexual assault. The usual Equals stuff.
The acknowledgement of sexual dimorphism between dogs and vixens is one of the main areas of interest for vulpinism; between biology and psychology, it extends the differences to the very concept of love.
Romantic feelings are an aspect of highly intelligent creatures, motivating them to do things completely unrelated to basic survival. While natural tendencies and desires for emotional and sexual fulfillment bring vixens together, they are only the most shallow aspect of their feelings for each other. Love is a complex web of ideas, feelings and desires, one that can build up or bring down, create or destroy, bring joy or sorrow. To experience it, one needs certain mental capabilities.
Male foxes do not have said mental capabilities.
Vulpinists believe that, due to being the evolutionarily inferior sex as per their broader pseudo-scientific claims, dogs do not have the emotional intelligence required to experience love. Instead, kitsune scholars propose, their ‘love’ is identical in nature to the affection of cats, horses or pet canines. While their behaviour clearly shows positive attachment, it stems from and depends on pragmatic survival benefits: the cat ‘loves’ her mistress because she feeds it, gives it treats and cleans up after it. Remove these, and the ‘love’ will fade over time, proving there is no metaphysical element to it.
Dogs may declare love for their mistresses, but no one should make the mistake of equating it to the feelings two vixens share. This is where the idiom “dog love” finds its origin: to be in “dog love” is to appear romantically involved, but in reality focused on material and emotional benefits; in other words, it is a purely transactional relationship.
Our language reflects this state of things.
The word ‘love’ means two different things depending on its application - between two female kitsune it is a beautiful, almost paranormal sensation of selfless attachment. When speaking of love between a dog and his mistress, we infer a wholly separate kind of feeling - as previously described, a simple positive reaction tied strictly to what means of survival and instinct fulfillment she provides him.
The overarching feelings between partners significantly affect the character of sexual intercourse. To acknowledge this, we refer to it as ‘sex’ when occurring between two vixens; the physical act is, ultimately, the topmost union of bodies possible that romance strives for. Similarly, the existence of euphemisms like ‘making love’ or ‘going to bed’ in vixen vocabulary is clear proof of the underlying non-physical value of sex, or at the very least a discomfort with the frankly unsophisticated act. The latter should not be indulged as true; while we are superior in intellect to our counterparts, we are creatures of nature nonetheless, and there is no shame to be found in enjoying what is natural, provided it doesn't override reason.
Intercourse involving males is - in their minds - oriented purely on the intent. Personal affections of either side are secondary and often unimportant, as dogs do not have the self control to prioritise the emotional over the physical. They are creatures of instinct, after all. As such, ‘breeding’, where the male and the vixen intend to achieve pregnancy, is the most fulfilling kind of intercourse a dog may possibly have. Researchers found that trying for a litter invokes the same parts of the male brain that are active when a vixen has sex with her significant other. The reason for this is simple - for the male, there is nothing more important than carrying out the procreational imperative central to their psychology.
Recreational heterosexual encounters meanwhile bear the name of ‘coitus’. As with breeding, it does not focus on the dog’s mate: while her vocal demonstrations of enjoyment certainly encourage the creature, the male lacks brain development required to be selfless. Instead, the male benefits from - requires, in truth - coitus to regulate himself emotionally and physically. It provides him with satisfaction, yet again from satisfying evolutionary objectives (mating, in this case), and allows his body to expel a significant portion of male hormones produced daily. These two benefits lead to a significant reduction in male aggression and malevolence, as well as a lifting of mood. It also plays a crucial part in dog love. If his mistress does not regularly allow the male to mate with her, he lacks the most fundamental element necessary for him to be loyal and obedient. That said, encouragement is not necessary: regular heterosexual interaction is equally beneficial to the vixen, allowing her mind to “silence” the more primal voices and focus on important matters. Logically, the immense pleasure unique to intercourse with males cannot be overstated. Besides entertainment, it is a noticeable boost to self esteem and confidence.
As the smaller, more primitive male brain does not have the means to attribute any romantic character to the encounter, it cannot in any sense be considered cheating, but that goes without saying. If it weren't the case, mutual coitus wouldn't be as popular a date activity for couples as it presently is.
An often undervalued type of male interaction is, as recent studies found, intensely beneficial - ‘sparring'. In the wild, non-sapient males frequently fight between themselves in competition over a female, aiming to subjugate the rival and display to the vixen his value as a partner, capable of defending her and the litter. It has been observed to be crucial to the health of wild foxes. As our awakened dogs are too valuable to be exposed to potentially lethal fights for domination, veterinarians and behaviourists have been trying to discover a replacement. Evidence has been acquired to prove that intercourse between two males is a perfect substitute. The only downside is that, since it is not a behaviour found in nature, it needs to be arranged; regardless of the benefits, dogs do not understand it and have to be coerced into sparring with aphrodisiacs, agitating pheromones and performance improving supplements.
The benefits are clear. Allowing natural order to take its shape gives the dominant male - the buck - an outlet for his male aggression, increases testosterone, which in turn increases virility, and gives him a feeling of self accomplishment beneficial to his mental health. The submissive male, the runt, is disciplined in a powerful way that no artificial punishment can invoke - sparring speaks to the most primal part of his brain. Runts are observed to be significantly more compliant and settled after sparring sessions with dominant males.
Standard safety shock collars are advised, as with any male-on-male interaction. Dogs are prone to violence and such measures make it possible to intervene if the sparring becomes life-threatening.
Sparring is also an excellent addition to social events as the main attraction. In many cases these therapeutic experiences have been an occasion for spectating vixens to place bets and really engage with the thrilling spectacle taking place.
A handwritten note on the margin of the book’s page: Signing Factorial up for sparring was an excellent decision. He has never been so quiet and obedient. Do it weekly?
—
There are some things I’d like to talk about now in relation to ‘sparring’. If you’d stay and read my commentary, I would be really honored.
First note I will make is that, at least to me, its inclusion - and the inclusion of other sexual abuse instances in the universe of Equals - is entirely natural: the core division in place is, after all, along the sexes. I feel that it's completely logical that sexuality would be a major obsession of vulpinism, just like other disgusting ideologies had their own. For example, newcomers to wild areas of the world searched for cannibalism amongst the local people and often fabricated evidence to support it.
When I first conceptualised it for Equals, I literally paused. I took my fingers off the keyboard, took a deep breath, and thought: “Wow. this is the most evil thing I have ever come up with”. Indeed, brutally speaking, it’s making the victims rape each other. But that reality alone I did not find particularly evil by itself - of course, when compared to everything else. That’s when I thought some more about it and realised why.
It is supremely evil because it destroys any solidarity within the abused group. In this specific instance, it is even more horrid than anything I have personally heard of (as in: used institutionally, enforced by the abuser group) due to how complete the annihilation is.
See, the abused group usually considers the abuser group their enemy, and other abused as their friends, allies, maybe rivals at worst. In any case, the identity of Abuser and the Abused is entirely separated. They have different goals, different characteristics, different desires, different pains and sorrows. Different clothes, immutable characteristics, ways of speaking even. A large variety of traits separates the victim from the perpetrator. But when the Abusers intertwine some of the Abused into the system of cruelty, this distinction falls apart.
Now some victims share the same behaviors and objectives with the perpetrators. The rest, victims doubly so, are in the darkest place anyone can end up. The very bottom of the Abyss. While in large victim groups there is a big pool of those in the same situation that the Abused Victim can relate to, that is fellow Abused Victims, in Equals, the men are kept in isolation of each other for ninety percent of the time. They do not know there are others who suffer like them.
There are no allies. There are no friends. Everybody despises them. Everybody hurts them. There is no person they can feel safe with. The vixens are and always were the oppressors, and now, every other guy is also a torturer, simply waiting for their chance to make their life miserable. Encounters with the latter are even more horrid, an eternal reminder that the fox is despised even by his biological fellows.
The only kindness and safety Factorial can expect from, the only thing he can turn to for comfort… Is an inanimate object…
I honestly teared up when I wrote the above sentence. If Factorial weren’t a fictional character, I’d hug him and never let go. He deserved none of this. Why is my brain wired this way? Why do I make characters that I feel really terrible for? And why do I enjoy being sad and upset about their fate? Ugh… *sniff*
The situation on the other side of the fence is not good either. Because of how belonging is processed in our minds, the Abuser Victim has lost the barrier between themselves and their torturers, and now ends up on the same side with them. They now, just like the vixens, inflict unimaginable suffering on the helpless. Of course they resist at first, they refuse, they need to be forced with drugs and cruelty to turn on an innocent. But…
But eventually this changes. Eventually, they accept what they need to do to avoid pain. Eventually, when the stress, agony and misery of their own slavery weigh too heavily on their souls, they find genuine comfort in abusing other foxes. It’s the only time they are in charge, the only time they are not constantly fearful for their safety, the only time they can pay back for what they went through, for what they experienced! It doesn’t matter that the victim has nothing to do with their pain. What matters is that he, the ‘runt’ is there, he is weaker, and the ‘buck’ can vent his anger without consequence.
This is a classic case of what is known in psychology as displacement, or the “kick the dog” effect (how grimly fitting). The stressed, unable to deal with their stress or prevent it, offloads it on a weaker party that cannot fight back. The weaker party then finds their own “dog” to kick. And then the “dog” finds a “cat” to bite. And then the “cat” tortures a “mouse”. And so it goes. Those above in the hierarchy of strength reclaim their sense of agency, sense of dignity or repair their ego by harming those below.
I have never, to my memory, been abusive to anybody around me. However, I can imagine that this is very addictive. If not, there wouldn’t be so many easy-to-spot cases of it. It is ever present in most workplaces, and is particularly brutal in prisons. This is also why, I think, it can be misidentified as ‘satisfaction from existing in a natural hierarchy of dominance’, as in vulpinism.
There is, finally, yet another aspect to being the ‘kicker’. The muddling of responsibility. After all, the ‘kicker’ is now responsible for sins of their own. They can no longer consider themselves pure. In a situation where they have a frame of reference in the form of “normal morality” from outside the hellish circumstance, this - and it can be easily proven with real life examples - makes them often hesitant to share their story in fear of being considered “in leagues” with the abuser. The outside observer almost never has the full story, or the empathy to give the Abuser Victim some space to explain, or just the ability to understand that people in bestial conditions become beasts themselves.
In Equals, the enslaved kitsune men have no frame of reference to their deeds. They consider it normal, even if the action - screams, whimpers, crying, pleading for mercy, the scent of blood - may be upsetting to them at first. For all the imagination that I (hopefully) demonstrated over my few years here on Tumblr, I cannot for the life of me imagine the absolute avalanche of guilt that would crush the Abuser Victim once he gets the chance to look at his abuse from the outside.
Say, would you guys be interested in reading some random worldbuilding I have for Equals?
It's something like my writing notes, not really whole scenes, more like lorebook entries in a video game. Properly edited and arranged, though, I always have the same standard of writing.
I currently have some about a specific angle of "vulpinism", which is what I came to call the specific kind of prejudice found amongst the kitsune society.
Here's a small bit from my notes as an example: Vulpinism gained its broadly encompassing name (vulpine is an antiquated term for a fox, rarely used in the contemporary kitsune lexicon) because of the broadly accepted notion that belief in vixen supremacy is inseparable from their race, their ethno-cultural identity as a whole. Thanks to this conflation, ideological opposition to male slavery that is inherent to this pseudophilosophic system remains at an all time low. Even if one lady or another finds it horrendous, she will not speak out - after all, it would be like opposing her own existence. It is accepted that to be a vixen means to be a vulpinist. To be an awakened fox in general is to be a vulpinist. How could anyone be foolish enough to go against the very essence of their race? At best, such a woman would be laughed at and widely mocked, and at worst - be branded a traitor to the whole species and treated accordingly.
Note for those confused: In the setting of Equals male kitsune are very rare and have been reduced to slave-pets deprived of personhood; their opinion on such matters is entirely irrelevant to the female majority.
Note2: Miko is not a vulpinist since she's been raised on Narukami Island, separated from the main congregation of her kind. It's not a "casual Yae Miko slander" situation.
It's all for your own good. Think of the children!
Oh how many will be saved, if only we could see into your online correspondence!
You're not supporting the predators, are you? Don't be silly.
Everything will be fine.
Trust us.
Trust Big Brother.
I feel like I'm a madman, with how I'm being ridiculed in the official Genshin subreddit for having the following opinion:
I believe that sending Kachina, a child, to war is very immoral and proves that not only Mavuika and the Wayob are heartless "by any means necessary" types*, but also that the rest - including the Traveler, who is from outside the Natlan thought bubble - are equally unfeeling. Mavuika doesn't show any hesitation, nor at least a single sentence of regret.
Civilised societies (and I say it deliberately) protect their young. The adults fight while the children get to stay home and have a safe, usually happy childhood, get to learn about the world and develop their character out of harm's way. Even the worst dictators sent children to fight on the frontline only when the situation was absolutely hopeless - you know about Hitlerjugend and Volkssturm, but Soviets also enlisted the underage (15 and up), usually from the Asian parts; the Japanese forced schoolboys to serve as cannon fodder in the Battle of Okinawa. We also know, of course, of children being used by terrorists, criminal organisations and global South warlords as regular troops. Other than that, children may also fight when no other option remains (Ghetto Uprising of 1943, Warsaw Uprising of 1944), but even then they were relegated to auxiliary roles.
We openly condemn or grieve over these practices, born of necessity or malice. But when we look at them in fiction**, in this case in Genshin, apparently the majority of people seem to think it's fine.
Arlecchino aside, at least she is sometimes portrayed as a morally negative character (key word: sometimes), the Kachina thing remains completely unaddressed.
Sure. She has an ancient name. Sure, she beat other adults (somehow? But okay let's go with it). Sure, she can be revived. None of this matters. She is still a child. She should be permitted to be a child, free of the trauma of death (in no world is dying not traumatic, especially for a child) and war. Cool, if she's very capable, then let's enroll her on an elite course by the elders of the tribes or Mavuika herself and train her until she is old enough to understand the gravity of war.
Fine, if we have no choice, then at least show that characters who are shown to be moral regret it heavily. Especially after Kachina spends god knows how long in the underworld. But no! They bring her back and fuck off to do something else. There is no even momentary reflection on how this experience will affect Kachina's life going forward, she definitely has seen things no person, let alone a child should witness.
Thus the Natlanese appear less moral than the Hilichurls.
There's also the meta question of why. Why would you write a child soldier character and not use her for anything? She's a treasure trove of opportunities to explore the nature and the effects of war on, say, innocence. Or how dying affects someone.
Holy, I can't believe I had to explain why child soldiers are bad. I apologise, I'm sure you know that already. And I can't believe that saying "sending children to war is bad actually" is some kind of controversial opinion in this community.
Anyway, do you think this decision, both in game and in terms of writing, is justified? Do you think that infantry can't be spelled without "infant"? Or do you think Hoyo goofed up big time?
*I just realised that this would be an excellent direction to take Mavuika in, you know, give her some depth. She's all smiles and camaraderie, but at the same time she can throw hundreds into the meat grinder without the slightest inkling of regret. Then Hoyo could explore why that is. Perhaps she believes that a leader must be heartless and cold when the situation demands? That would be an excellent opportunity for poetic contrast: the Archon of fire whose reasoning is colder than ice. But no. Genshin is allergic to this kind of writing.
**If you think something is bad in reality, but not in fiction, then you're a hypocrite and the belief in something's moral wrongness is performative or very weak, if benefit of the doubt is to be given. Imagine thinking rape is wrong, and then talking how right rape is in a movie or a video game.
You kiss her forehead, turn around, and start heading straight towards the bathroom. You and her always had something fun planned on Fridays - a date, a walk or just playing some board games at home helped unwind after a tiresome week. Most of them were, in fact, quite straining on your poor little horned lover. It has become customary for her to get sleepy during most dates of this type, so both of you decided it would be best to just stay at home after tougher times, and do so in pajamas, making it easier to just climb into bed if you wanted to.
Tonight, you picked board games as the entertainment. When Ganyu returned home, it was well past six. You forgot to buy snacks, so while she readied herself you zoomed to Bubu Pharmacy to get some dried herbs for your girlfriend to munch on. Upon your return, you were greeted with the game already meticulously set up, and Ganyu ready to roll with steaming hot tea on the table.
Despite her apparent readiness, you could see that she won't hold on for long with how much her eyelids weigh. You couldn't help the smile while you were showering. Ganyu's always quite cute when she's tired.
After washing yourself, changing and brushing your teeth, you leave the bathroom, and return to just the sight you expected. Ganyu is lying on the couch, her legs slightly curled towards her stomach. Her chest is rising and falling in a slow, peaceful rhythm. And, as customary, her mouth is just slightly ajar.
You shake your head, the smile never leaving your lips. "Poor thing", you say to yourself as you approach her. Gently, you slide one arm under her shoulders and the other under her butt and with little effort you lift her up into your arms. She stirs a little when you carry her to the bedroom.
"Sorry…" She mutters, but nevertheless she nuzzles herself into your chest.
You hum in response while placing her on her side of your shared bed. "Don't worry about it. You deserve all the rest in the world. We'll play when you're feeling better."
Moving the covers over her, you can't resist the urge to kiss her cheek. Even if she's only semi lucid, her cheeks flush just a little and a comfortable smile finds its way to her expression.
That's what you like to see.
Quietly, you turn to leave. Somebody has to clean things up and cover the tea so no moths or dust fall into it overnight, and render it undrinkable. You turn your head back when you feel her small hand touching yours. She's looking at you, her tired eyes barely holding ajar, and mutters one, surprisingly demanding word.
"Stay…"
Her hand relaxes, but you hold it up as if it was a delicate flower. You sigh, smiling as you wiggle off the slippers and climb under the covers right beside her. Almost on instinct, Ganyu embraces you, wrapping her arms around your torso and nuzzling her head right into her favorite spot - under your chin. You hug her in turn, locking her safely in your arms.
"I love you." You whisper, but she's already fast asleep. With a final kiss to her soft hair, still carrying the scent of expensive herbal shampoo, you close your eyes. Both of you drift into well deserved sleep.
Yeeeeeeeees! Nice. Finally! I've been waiting a long time for this annoying fox. If only I had the money to buy an art of her petting Factorial... Ah, what an image. By the way I have an unpublished commissioned art of him, I'll touch it up tomorrow (had some communication issues with the artist) and post it.
Also I did some writing for a short "Mean!Dom!Male!Reader x Ayaka, Ganyu and Eula"
Unless the examinator counted the points wrong. I'm 1.5 off a passing grade.
I have no faith in my ability to retake this subject. It's almost impossibly complicated, I don't understand it and I despise it. I struggle in uni in general, how could I think I could go through this?
I'm unsure of what to do with myself. My mother said that, if I don't pass this year, I'm gonna get the boot. I now realise that I have no skills that could allow me to make a living beyond minimum wage. So much money has been wasted on me. I will be the only person without a degree in my family.
As such, I will be considered a failure and mocked for it. It appears that I will be forced to cling to the lowest rung of the social ladder, perhaps even homelessness will befall me. I am garbage. What use is my "alleged" intelligence, if I cannot put it to use? Alternatively I am simply stupid, and people have told me this to make me feel better.
I'm going to go eat something, watch a movie. Wait for the gravity of my situation to descend on me.
It's like I forgot how to write, not technically, but... Mentally, I think. I have had so many ideas recently, but for none of them did I write a single sentence. It feels like so much work... But I do nothing all day! I don't even play video games for more than like three hours after midnight! I feel so powerless and I don't know why. What's happening to me? Cut cuz mentions of smut below as I list some ideas and asks I neglected.
Examples of ideas I had: Yoimiya x reader who thinks that doing charity is not enough and continously spends more and more only to feel like he's not doing enough. Some girls x a Beast Master!Reader who has a natural affinity towards dangerous animals (imagine little Nilou standing next to her big ahh guy and his pet rishboald tiger so large that she could ride it like a horse). That fic about fingering Ganyu, focusing on how beautiful she is. Railing Keqing in front of a mirror (I've had this for the longest time). There's also that fic about dom Lumine getting it on with her boy while Columbina watches (like in that Nod Krai quest where she explored memories).
And there's so many wonderful asks. Examples:
"Can you do a Headcanon of the Fontaine girls dealing with an unexpected facial or an unexpected cumming in their mouth?" (cool)
"I was wondering if you could do headcannons for throat training Fontaine girls" (yeahhh that would be cool, even if short)
"semi-related to the other asks because the there must be a flame of respite in the abyss. any genshin women at all (but perhaps rosaria to start) shutting down any and all NTR attempts. quite brutally if they feel it's particularly egregious" (I hate NRT with my very souls so it would be a satisfying write)
"mmm dark days with rosaria. The only reason she ever comes to church is to visit the graveyard" (rosaria smoking and talking to the grave, would write)
"so I was thinking about a male reader who's going through a bumpy part of his relationship with La Signora. He loves her of course, but the one real problem is their sex life where reader doesn't get much say. In truth he feels more like a toy then an actual lover, and isn't really into the humiliation as much as La Signora might think. Reader has put up with it this long for the sake of the relationship, but the cracks are starting to show." (very good idea that could be a breakup fic actually but I assume it's meant to be a more comforting ending, which I also dig)
"Based on your recent post, I had two ideas I feel worth sharing, so please accept my apologies for sending in two separate asks within a few minutes. First off, I'd like to ask for Chasca, Emilie (did you know that - unless I am too stupid to use the search function - your "Down Bad For You" is the only post with #emilie x male reader ? That's crazy for such a beautiful character) and Yoimiya overhearing some folks wondering why they are with their comparatively much more plain-looking male!reader. Noticing that their partner is affected by those words (even though male!reader obviously would try to pretend they are not), they decide to make their next time in bed solely about the reader to the point of not even letting the reader put in the effort to satisfy them as well." (excellent idea)
"reader realizing that any genshin women really, truly do care about him, even when all his inner thoughts say otherwise? feels like it could be a really good angst-comfort fic" (another idea I wanted to write for a long time)
"which girls would sacrifice you if your death would save their nation? who would sacrifice their nation if it meant you could live?" (literally I have a draft for the fem reader version that I never finished ffs)
"Hey can I make a request for a male s/o that likes to give forehead kisses for Shenhe and Yelan?" (I am losing faith in myself, it's an easy write but I can't drag myself to do it)
"saw your post about starting a new for your asks. And I say that's pretty great of you! Always please think of yourself first before doing something for someone else! Anyways how about some love for the doggy general~Gorou x wife! Doghybrid! Reader. The doggy general starting his rut right with his doggy wife. Maybe after the war?Pls ignore this if you don't feel like writing this!" (Can you tell how old this is... I feel geniuinely ashamed)
Two things. One. You most likely noticed that a lot of them are smut. That's because I don't write a lot of smut recently. Skipping the fact that I don't write a lot in general. That's because my medication has crippled my libido quite significantly, making me very sad about it too. It's like I lost a part of myself. I can still think, but I cannot really feel these thoughts - it's like trying to get out of bed, I suppose that's the closest comparison. You really want to, you have a lot to do, the day is very enticing (rainy for me, that's my fave weather), but your body feels weak, like a broken ragdoll. I want to toss these meds, but I cannot fuction without them anymore. I have withdrawal symptoms. Fuck... I hate it.
Second, I feel immense guilt when I look through the asks, the comments. See how much kindness people offered to me, how polite they were... And how terribly I have disappointed them, how I have ignored them, how they bounced off a seemingly unfeeling and uncaring wall. It's such a weight on me that it, and I'm not afraid to admit, sometimes brings tears to my eyes. I suck so fucking much, holy. I feel like a lot of people are angry with me, if not for their asks going unanswered then for me dedicating time and effort towards Equals. I bet they're looking at the low engagement under the latest chapter and ask themselves "why is this guy making this shit, nobody cares about it"
Not a request but as a sapphic fan of Arlecchino and an Arlecchino x Reader writer, in response to your recent post: SAY 👏 IT 👏 LOUDER 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 BACK. Feel free to tag this in relevant tags, and apologies in advance for the long post.
For Arlecchino fans, as an Arlecchino fan, remember: You do not own her character. You did not create her. Your headcannons don't dictate how other people should interpret Arlecchino, nor should you harass other people for interpreting her differently. She is a collection of pixels and that's what you're attacking this creator over. PIXELS. Writing straight content of Arlecchino is not harmful to you or the lesbian community, and this is not lesbian erasure. This creator is not discouraging writing sapphic content, and there's still plenty of sapphic content of Arlecchino out there. There's a saying that has always applied to fanfiction and fandom space: "Don't like, don't read." All you're doing is wasting time and effort by writing angry comments. With one scroll, it's out of sight, out of mind.
Let me reaffirm. I am a proud sapphic Arlecchino truther. I have written too many words about women kissing other women. Again, do I headcannon that Arlecchino is straight? No, and I likely never will. Do I bash on other people for thinking that she is? No, because I'm not an asshole 👍.
As much as I love my Tumblr community and fellow writers and writers, I believe that sometimes they attach themselves to fictional characters a bit too much. OP, I'm sorry that you receive hateful messages, and I'm a bit ashamed of the little niche community I'm in (of sapphic Genshin fans). You shouldn't be getting death threats over the sexuality of a FICTIONAL character.
This is only my observation, and I may be wrong, but sapphics are rather guarded and protective (not sure if that's the right description) of characters they identify as lesbians, likely because good media representation of them is quite scarce, even among queer media (which often lean towards gay ships). Among fandom spaces, sapphic content is also rare comparatively to gay and hetero ships. Sapphic fans might have seen your content as a threat to what little representation they already have. I'm not saying this is a valid excuse for the toxic behavior, but this may be why sapphic enjoyers are particularly upset about heterosexual fanfics in fandom spaces.
Regardless, you shouldn't be experiencing this type of hate for just expressing your silly little ideas over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS on the internet. I wouldn't have the courage or heart to continue posting and writing the things I love if I received the same types of comments, so I really respect your preservation. I also don't consider your fanfics to hetero slop. I haven't read one of your Arlecchino fanfics fully, but just by skimming, I could tell they were written with care, effort, and an appreciation for the character.
In any case, sapphic or straight content, I'm happy to know I'm not alone in my love for Arlecchino. I don't think the enjoyment of any character should only be limited to a group of people, or restricted in this particular set of beliefs about the character. That's the beauty of enjoying fiction: to treat it however you want. Besides, I believe that the more people liking her, regardless of headcannoned sexuality, will lead to more official content of her that Hoyo might include. And that's something I definetely won't complain about!
It may be a wonder why I'm making this post to you. As a fairly recent Tumblr writer, I'm very thankful for the support I've gotten at the start of my blogging journey, and how welcoming the Tumblr community was. Writing has really grown to be significant to me and it brings me a lot of joy to see other people enjoy my effort and creativity. I only wish the same support and success for othe writers, even if I don't personally enjoy their content! Knowing that out there, there are many more people writing whatever they like unabashedly in fandom spaces makes me fulfilled and proud as a fanfic writer. Fanfiction is meant to be free. Keep writing, OP. I'm rooting for you.
(Sorry again for how long this is and if it sounds awkward.)
Wise words. I will leave them as is not to affect their meaning. Thank you for writing this.
The way you can dish out but get mad the moment someone gives you the same energy back dude you’re such a sad individual really… no one would’ve batted an eyelash against you anymore but you really just cannot keep your mouth shut and sapphics not wanting men in their spaces is not???? Hate??? Or misandry??? You will never experience 1% of the oppression women go through but keep feeding your incel mentality, it‘s amusing how you think you‘re doing something here or how you’re so tuff for what exactly??? Cheap ragebait during pride month? Says more about you as a person than anyone else here but holy shit that was so corny
It was ragebait indeed, and it worked. Fell for it award 🏅
The first sentence makes no sense. Yes, I cannot keep my mouth shut, I'm sick of tip-toeing around because I dare to be a straight white guy that happens to write straight fics with sapphic darling characters and get blazed for it. Why should I even? I have the right to express myself freely. Besides, my conflict with that group is a result of someone attacking me first, particularily it was a comment telling me to kill myself and that I'm a waste of space for writing a FFM threesome with the tag "Ei x Miko". And then I got spat on for writing straight Arlecchino. For no logical reason.
What incel mentality? Do tell. You're right, I can't experience the horrible oppression of women because, for one, I'm male, and two, women aren't oppressed in Poland. But that's a topic I've discussed many times.
It says something negative about me that I decided to post my opinion that is not even harmful to anyone? What exactly?
Say, what would happen if I put "women do not interact" in blood red font on my profile? I would be called misoginist, an incel and a loser afraid of women. The double standard is what irks me.
(Sorry guys for no recent fics but I can't really find a spot for myself before I get my two most important grades, maths and epistemic logic)
If you're currently boiling under the intense heat wave in Europe and think to yourself "oh no, it's the global warming!", then let me calm you down. It's a known phenomenon, weather blocks, resulting directly from atmospheric pressure. It traps air in a given area for a prolonged time, thus creating extreme weather events.
It has been happening since forever. No amount of green energy will solve this, as - since this air comes from there - we would have to cool down the Sahara. Not doable. Or mess around with pressure and jet streams, which is also not doable.
The earliest recorded heat wave of this sort that I found was in 1473, when it lasted for 14 MONTHS. Shit was so hot that in December - in the FIFTEENTH CENTURY, WHICH WAS VERY COLD IN GENERAL - the temperature was "summer-like". Cherries bore fruit twice in one year, it was so hot! Must have been polluting the atmosphere, these medieval folk.
Records are being broken every year because we only recently started actually documenting this. Environmental science is a relatively new pursuit of humanity. And a reminder that Europe is right above the Sahara.
Ever since my conflict related to Arlecchino fics, I have not been forthright with you. In fact, I've been hiding a dark secret that I never had the courage to admit. But since it's June, I will come out of the closet.
So... Actually... I might write straight fanfics, but... Well, it's the last occasion to confess, so I need to work up the courage.
So...
So this is how I headcanon Genshin's characters....
Sike! Happy Bride Month!
Hahahaaha! I didn't get you, I know, you guys know me better than that. But I guess it really feels nice to say it outright, and not pretend this kind of headcanon is any kind of '-ist' or '-phobic'. It's a headcanon. The rabid, frothing ass-hurt sapphics that came after me when somebody discovered that I made a straight Arlecchino fic (here for your reading pleasure) - what heresy! - gave me quite the bit of entertainment, so much so that I made another fic in which Arlecchino states outright that she's straight, just to tick them off a little bit more (enjoy it here).
Also here is a fic involving Arlecchino, her male husband and their kid. Here's some more straight Arlecchino. And here is Arlecchino being shamelessly attracted to men. Hm, now that I think of it, I made a lot of Arlecchino content. Hetslop content, as some would say.
You might think that the way I referred to those lesbian writers is extremely insulting and unfair. Well, not really, it was more like stating a fact. Seeing how many of them sent death threats to me or started flying "kill all men" or "no men allowed" banners, they aren't emotionally stable, and their sexuality probably makes up their whole identity. Hence the mindless agression they usually respond with. I have met a few writers that wrote yuri and headcanonned Arlecchino as lesbian, and somehow - which is apparently not the majority case... - remained people and had civilised conversations with me.
I wouldn't make this post, honestly, if not for the harassment I still get sometimes. I'm allowed to be a little pokey after all that.
Heh, I wonder what inhuman sounds would emerge from the depths of "The Community" when somebody stumbles upon Equals, the series in which the main character is despised and abused specifically because he happens to be male. Let me make a guess regarding potential accusations - incel fantasy? Or maybe an "attempt at social distortion"? Or like "pity farming", for whatever reason. Anyway, here's the link to that, enjoy.
Really does feel nice getting it all off my chest. In no world should you be worried of getting vitriol poured onto you because you you're of a certain sexuality, am I right? Alright, before I leave, I'll let you know that I feel like writing a smut fic (fingering Ganyu) that instead focuses on the beauty of a woman in pleasure. More aestetic centered, I suppose. Maybe I'll write it up.
Here's some memes from an amazing community I got recommended recently, if you know you know. Restored my faith in Genshin's fanbase a little bit.
Proud hetslop manufacturer out.
*By shapeshifters I mean characters that can morph into anything they want and have no "basic" form, but clearly identify themselves with one of the sexes throughout the ages.
I admit, Nick Wolfhard is truly excellent in his role as Lohen. I am also glad that Hoyo is very slightly dipping their toes in the concept of sociolects/registers, Lohen is one of the more expressive characters in that sense. And here I was, wondering why the voice acting on most of Genshin's characters felt off...
[Spoilers for Lohen's SQ]
Chat, are we serious? They just let Lohen and Theodore go after what they did? I say their crimes deserve execution. Maybe Lohen could get it lowered to a very lengthy sentence in prison, or alternatively the Knights could count up every single death that occured due to the "escapees" and pin them on the guy.
This is just bs. Both should be tossed onto the cobble at least! What do you mean Lohen is still in his position?! And what do you mean he still pursues power?! Why does the Traveler care for Lohen in the slightest, after having just finally slain Dottore and seeing the (debateably very censored) extent of his experiments? Anyone who dares touch whatever he left behind and try to continue his work should be removed from society or life without question.
Am I the only one who's in disbelief at how this turned out...? Come on, at least force him into a penal company for the next decade or two! Ahghhhghghh this is always how things go when I actually start paying attention to what happens on screen...
I admit, Nick Wolfhard is truly excellent in his role as Lohen. I am also glad that Hoyo is very slightly dipping their toes in the concept of sociolects/registers, Lohen is one of the more expressive characters in that sense. And here I was, wondering why the voice acting on most of Genshin's characters felt off...
I just realised I don't like Genshin's quests simply because they are 98% dialogues. I don't want to sit there and listen/read these yapfests, I'd rather do some action. Especially that AQs and SQs are massive lore dumps every single time, so you need to read all of this or fail to understand what's going on. I prefer to not read them at all honestly, I don't care that much. So yeah, constant lore dumps and long, static dialogues with just a little action sprinkled in is not enough for me.
Also I failed one exam.
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