Healing and Release.
During and after the past week's events in Boston and Cambridge, music has been my faithful partner, there for me when I was in danger of falling into a very dark place.
I've lived in and around Boston for a total of three, almost 4 years now. First, I was a graduate school student living in Boston, close to Symphony Hall, often taking a walk all the way to Newbury street from the Christian Science Center. Then, about 6 years after first becoming a MA resident, I got accepted into a Harvard graduate program and moved from California to Cambridge, still thinking of Newbury and it's surrounding areas as my favorite places to walk, window shop, and read. As a wannabe New Englander, one of the things I cherished was how safe I felt while walking around my neighborhood and Boston. Sadly, that feeling has been shaken, to its core, along with my little heart.
It's been so difficult to assimilate the events at the Boston Marathon and the passing hours of the "man hunt" on Friday. I have had moments of disbelief, shock and just utter fear. There were moments when I realized it would take a long time to return to my normal self, my normal routine. And understanding that this was due to an intentional attack on people and their well-being, was just too overwhelming to accept. However, music, as I've said before, was there for me and would not let me crawl into a hole, like I wanted to do...
The day after the bombings one of my Boston Music Scene friends posted that there would be a benefit show (to fundraise for Mass General Hospital) at TT the Bear's Place. This venue is iconic and full of memories for me, I've even sung on that stage... and now I was debating on going to a show after such a horrific day... would it be ok? Should I go? Was I being insensitive? Interestingly, I decided that raising money for those who suffered most from these acts was worth any uneasiness I might feel over whether this was the right thing to do or not. It took only minutes for me to realize that I had done the right thing (for me) by going to the benefit show that Tuesday night. I was immediately engulfed in hugs from friends, new and old, all seemingly wanting to touch/hug each other, almost as if we were making sure the other person was real. LIstening to music that night made me feel so much better, made me realize that whether I was witnessing a touching performance or listening to very apropos lyrics from a rockin' band, I was starting my healing process, alongside all the other patrons at TT's.
More to come... (The Benadryl is kicking in).
