*{ NOVOCANE.

SINK FULL OF DISHES, PACIN' IN THE KITCHEN, COCAIN FOR BREAKFAST. YIKES. BED FULL OF WOMEN, FLIP ON A TRIPOD, LITTLE RED LIGHT ON SHOOTIN'. I'M FEELING LIKE STANLEY KUBRICK. THIS IS SOME VISIONARY SHIT. BEEN TRYNA FILM PLEASURE WITH MY EYES WIDE SHUT, BUT IT KEEPS MOVING. BLAME IT ON THE MODEL BROAD WITH A HOLLYWOOD SMILE. STRIPPER BOOTY WITH A RACK LIKE WOW, I'LL NEVER FORGET YA. YOU PUT ME ON A FEELING I NEVER HAD AND EVER SINCE I BEEN TRYNA GET IT BACK, PICK IT UP, PUT IT BACK.

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— AUGUST !! ]

“i’ll let you know, but i don’t think it’s a bad thing.” august laughed, giving a small shrug. he thought it was adorable how proud micah seemed, plus he figured it was a good thing in their life for a moment. “tell her congrats for me by the way, i haven’t had a chance to see her myself.”

| ◤° [ ‘ THAT WON’T BE hard for me to do. ’ august was only giving more reason for the words AMERICAN MUSIC AWARD to leave micah’s lips - the opposite of what the vocal coach was asking for, but the swell of pride they were riding was still rolling through.

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— TRISTA !! ]

“no.” she replied dryly. “it’s just a stupid piece of plastic and metal, does it actually carry much meaning or anything?”

| ◤° [ ‘ DON’T EVEN TRY it, kid. you got one too. i know you didn’t just throw it out. ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— DIXIE !! ]

“oh please! you have every right to be proud! it’s exciting to see the people you care about do wonderful things and be recognized for it.” dixie gushed, she was proud of her own friends who had won, and definitely bragged on them at the thanksgiving table. all while avoiding questions from her extended family. “how was your thanksgiving?”

| ◤° [ ‘ DIXIE, I AM fully aware that i’m annoying over this shit. she hasn’t even mentioned it as much as i have. ’ they’d be proud enough for estelle, even if she was humbling herself to not mention it. ‘ i just know she’s been working really hard lately and this is kind of proof that it’s being well received. she’s got her tour coming up and with this it’s just, it’s really nice. ah, we spent it together. just us. ’  

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— TRISTA !! ]

“okay, well shut the fuck up about it then.” trista stated plainly, a little annoyed with how much everyone was still talking about the award show. of course she had bubbles of pride at her own achievement, but she had spent the holiday alone and the high from it had quickly faded. 

| ◤° [ ‘ IF IT WERE that easy, don’t you think i would have? ’ he sighed, looking her over curiously. ‘ shouldn’t you be flashing your award still? it was only a few days ago and you did get a pretty major award. ’ 

[miicvhs-blog]

| ◤° [ ‘ ALL I’M ASKING, ’ they started carefully, ‘ is for you to tell me when i say the words ‘estelle’, ‘won’, and ‘award’ so that i can catch myself and stop. ’ in the passing days, he’d been too proud, felt too much love in his heart for his girlfriend having won anything let alone favourite contemporary artist for the year. his mouth ran a mile a minute, saying nothing but praise and sounding more like an eager parent over his baby girl and it had gotten tot he point where micah was annoying even himself. he knew it, but he couldn’t help it.

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°—ELLE !! ]

“Okay, but do you know? Do you?”

| ◤° [ ‘ IF HE’S NORMAL enough to make it past security, he’s normal enough to not start shit at a party. ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— JELLY BEAN !! ]

        ‘ i’m sorry to bother you, ’ it had been years since carmen had gone to a party of any kind COMPLETELY sober. she felt jarred and disjointed, as if everyone else was moving on a different wavelength; too fast and fueled by something that she was lacking. but worry clouded all of that in a dark grey, her fears for what might happen to her currently absent boyfriend playing on repeat in her mind’s eye. ‘ have you seen killian? we need to get a photo taken. ’ she lied, knowing full well that he was building up to an explosive crescendo that could ruin what little progress they’d made.  

| ◤° [ ‘ I SAW HIM a bit ago, but i haven’t in about half an hour? ’ it was in passing, remembering that he’d seen carmen’s boyfriend headed towards the bar and thought nothing of it. ‘ haven’t really seen him since then, but this place is pretty crowded right now. might have gone outside for some air or maybe he’s still at the bar. that’s where i saw him last. ’ 

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°—ELLE !! ]

“Oh my God, hide me.”

Elle quickly entered the room, not caring who else was in there, or what state they may have been in, and shut the door behind her.

“I saw my ex out there, and it did not end well. I’m not going back out there until he’s gone.”

| ◤° [ ‘ ISN’T THIS A little bit extreme? i doubt that he’ll do anything that drastic with all of these people and cameras around, hun. there’s no reason for a scene to be caused tonight. ’ it was a good night, or so they hoped it would be. 

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— KITTEN !! ]

*.:｡♦ ⋅ ⋆WITH AN EASE that came without any hesitance and total comfort and confidence she slid smoothly into his strong grip. Darkened but warm eyes gazing up at him, sparkling and bright as she lingered around his features. Gentle, playful laugh echoing.  “Shut up,” chuckled the young singer.  “You’re such a shit.”

| ◤° [ ‘ OH, AM I? and yet i remember you just begging me to be with you. what’s that say about you, huh? ’ begging was a stretch, but she’d been more willing to try this out than micah had and she did convince him; persuaded him and made him believe this was going to be something worth it. thumbs brushing softly over her hips, he smiled easily down at her and murmured, ‘ i love you, baby. ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— TRISTA !! ]

“oh it’s possible. you have no idea. plus fuck family, blood means nothing.”

| ◤° [ ‘ I DIDN’T SAY nothing about blood. i said you’re family and you can’t hate each other. you may think you do now, but that could change. ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— KIDDO !! ]

        ‘ i wish they hadn’t gotten a picture of reese, y’know? ’ not that he minded everyone knowing that reese was allegedly his, but he didn’t particularly wish to see any of his children’s faces plastered across a tabloid cover. ‘ i… guess. i tried to show her how serious i am about this, y’know with the therapy and meetings and all. i don’t know if she COMPLETELY buys it yet, but agreeing to come to a session is something i’m taking as a good sign. ’

| ◤° [ ‘ WELL, YOU KNOW that with how you two are, you’re never going to keep your kids completely out of the public eye. it’s something that’s going to happen. ’ sia had done a good job so far, keeping their youngest child off social media for the most part and hardly having his face seen in pictures until now. ‘ she went. that’s something. am i... allowed to ask what you talked about? ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— KIDDO !! ]

( @miicvhs )

       ‘ bet you’re mad proud of me, pops. ’ a thin coating of smugness spread itself across the swelling anxiety beneath his poor facade. a smile would do nothing to help it, but he did so anyway, despite himself. ‘ following your wise words got me to the level of actually being allowed to hold my baby boy. ’

| ◤° [ ‘ OH I SAW. i think we all saw. ’ luz was a favourite topic of gossip rags, blogs, media vultures alike - the good and the bad that came with him. ‘ so, i take it waiting worked out for you and then talking? ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— SULI !! ]

“ yeah i get that. ” she said with a sigh squinting up at the sky, suli wasn’t the type of person that others went to for advice and she was honestly at a loss for what to say. “ you can put it off if you want but you know…it might just be easier to get it done now because it’ll just get harder the longer you wait. ”

| ◤° [ ‘ YEAH, I KNOW it’s easier, but when do we ever take the easier route? ’ maybe he was a masochist, loved to make things hard on himself. who knew?

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— JELLY BEAN !! ]

      ‘ nuh uh. ’ needing distance was a completely normal thing, carmen knew that. even though her and killian’s initial few weeks of living together as a couple had entailed a beautifully suffocating proximity, living down each other’s throats, she knew that it didn’t always work that way. perhaps micah and estelle were working in reverse, and feeling this pressure so early on meant that they’d never have to go through the painful silences and lack of touch a few years down the line. maybe this was all the cold they would feel. ‘ you’re supposed to be the rational and mature one here. just talk to her – bottling it up helps no one. ’

| ◤° [ ‘ CUT ME SOME slack here. i haven’t lived with anyone in months. and i know she didn’t bring MUCH, but it’s still just in a place i made for myself and i’m trying to get used to it being OURS not... mine. ’ knowing estelle, though, there wasn’t a way to rationally go about this. she’d take it personally, he knew that, and micah would rather not let her know than crush her spirits on any level.

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— SAFIYA !! ]

— *. “YEAH, exactly!” she exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief, “i understand fans and record labels appreciate you not taking five year hiatuses, but people should take the time to write and record good music.”

| ◤° [ ‘ I THINK THERE is also a quality over quantity thing, but if your contract says you’ve got to do a certain amount, you can’t really get out of that. ’ they shrugged, looking safiya over with a mite of concern. ‘ you feeling overworked there, kid? ’ 

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— SULI !! ]

“ i don’t know what you mean that was great advice ! don’t be mean to me, i’m just a baby i’ll cry all over you. ”

| ◤° [ ‘ OH, TRUST ME. i know you will. it’s fine, it’s just - you know when you don’t want to do something because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. ’

[miicvhs-blog]

[ ◤·°— JELLY BEAN !! ]

     ‘ that doesn’t make you a bad person, mic… ’ a frown pulled at soft and rounded features, their small hand reaching out to awkwardly pat at his broad shoulders. ‘ maybe talk to estelle about it? i’m sure she’ll understand. ’

| ◤° [ ‘ KIND OF FEELS like it does. ’ she hadn’t brought THAT much, and she was going on tour so he wouldn’t even be seeing her much for the next few months, but something about always having her there and whatever messy habits he wasn’t used to made a difference. it still took getting used to. ‘ not really. it’s only been about a week. ’