·˚.❛ MANIAC ❜

hop on that dick like a maniac. head like a brainiac. gotta read the sign like a zodiac. i'm a ( lowkey freak ), you don't know me yet. good head got a lil' bite to it, little booty got a lil' b o u n c e to it. we can go all damn night to it. wife that, gon' throw rice to it.

[comadidas]

[cvrmns]

( elysia. )

| ◤° [ PAUSING, SIA CAST a sidelong glance at the smaller female and gave a heavy sigh before nodding. ‘ just get in my car, baby. we can stay at my place. ’ from past experiences, she couldn’t guarantee there wouldn’t be some idiot with a camera that had too close of a zoom focus lens, but that’s what curtains were invented for. helping carmen into the slick black range rover, sia’s every day choice for transportation, the mother of two soon made her way into the drivers seat and gave a heavy sigh. ‘ are you okay, carmen? like, after the party. i haven’t seen your since, but uhm, i know killian left early after a thing with luz. ’ 

      sneaker clad feet struggled to set foot in the raised range rover with any amount of grace. fortunately, she had long passed the stages of caring, and tucked herself into the seat, belt strapping her chest down to stop any more fidgeting under the lenses of the cameras. carmen waited for sia to make it, unscathed, to the driver’s side, an inexplicable anxiety scorching her insides until the blonde’s tired eyes came into view. ‘ a thing? ’ she knew what that THING was, deep down. killian rarely strayed from his destructive ways when he was in such a state, but she didn’t want to worry her friend. ‘ i’m good. it was a nice night. everyone did really well; especially you. ’

[cvrmns]

TEXT FROM MASON

MASON: this was my first time black friday shopping and it was a horrid mistake

MASON: i got shoved down for a mixing bowl?????

MASON: i didn't even want the bloody thing!

CARMEN: amateur.

CARMEN: you have to be sneaky and small like me to rly get in there, loser.

[cvrmns]

( juni. )

| ◤° [ ‘ DO YOU EVER think about how like, airbrushed everyone is in these magazines. like, no offense, but i see you almost every day and you definitely don’t look the way you do in a magazine. ’ the concept still baffled her, thinking that people really spent this much time on hair and make up and editing to sell a dream - then again, her preference was to be behind a camera rather than in front of it.

        ‘ people don’t want to see the real thing, juni. airbrushed is what sells. ’ it wasn’t a big deal to carmen by now; every shoot she’d done was edited in some way, nipped and tucked, as if the alterations she had made to her body weren’t enough. ‘ it’s just how it is. it’s like using facetune, i guess. ’

[cvrmns]

( elysia. )

| ◤° [ ‘ GOD, I CAN’T stand this shit. ’ the small blonde mumbled, raising her hand to cover her face from the snapping cameras and paparazzi that waited outside as she exited the restaurant. ‘ this, ’ she muttered to her companion, ‘ is why i hate meeting you for lunch. because they do this and i’m just too fucking tired right now. ’ 

       unable to fathom why the reporters needed to have their flashes on when it was broad daylight, carmen hid behind a hand that lacked the shimmering polish of freshly done nails; for once. her other, shaking, reached down to squeeze sia’s as they managed to part the crowd that was swelling in its volume. ‘ we could go for a nap? ’ soft smile hidden by the collar of her sweater, carmen squeezed harder, hoping the blonde understood how little she wanted to go back to her and killian’s empty house. ‘ no paps there. ’

[cvrmns]

( aleia. )

     " i can say this now that the awards are over with but those heels were killing me. someone messed up the order and got me a half size too small and let me tell you, – walking around in those were a literal nightmare. much love to all the support that i got from the event, it was surprisingly a great time. momma came home with a prize. “  

      ‘ that sucks, hmm. ’ high heel induced pain had been the last thing playing on carmen’s mind on the night of the awards. even the day after, when the ache in her joints had yet to subside, her thoughts dwelled on little but how awful the night had been as a whole. ‘ it’s nice, though. you did a really good job. and your outfit was probably my favourite of the night, honestly. ’

[cvrmns]

( trista. )

trista hadn’t seen carmen since the halloween party crowned threw, so it was no wonder that she’d run into the blonde here tonight. and once again trista was fucking high. “don’t you have enough photos already?” tris raised an eyebrow, glancing over carmen. she definitely looked good and different. but tris was still tris. 

      sickness swirled in the pit of her gut, a mounting anxiety rising with it due to trista’s presence. carmen had wanted to find killian, not his BEST FRIEND, not the one everyone had told her she would find him with, doing whatever it was that best friends did. a large part of her didn’t want to answer, instead hoping to erase trista and he agitation that always followed suit, but being killian’s best friend, she had to make the effort ( if only to find him ).  ‘ no such thing. we’re making memories, you see. ’

[cvrmns]

( mason. )

“you’re not bothering me.” mason reassured the woman, eyes coming up from what he had originally be working on. he spent a moment studying her features, noticing the off putting look in her eyes. “uhm, sorry, no. i haven’t see him.” he looked at her again, tilting his head. “is everything alright?”

     bony limbs slicing into the air around her, carmen’s arms crossed over her chest in unnecessary defense. ‘ everything is fine, i just... well he went a little wild with the alcohol before we even left the house, y’know? ’

[cvrmns]

( mic. )

| ◤° [ ‘ I SAW HIM a bit ago, but i haven’t in about half an hour? ’ it was in passing, remembering that he’d seen carmen’s boyfriend headed towards the bar and thought nothing of it. ‘ haven’t really seen him since then, but this place is pretty crowded right now. might have gone outside for some air or maybe he’s still at the bar. that’s where i saw him last. ’ 

     she visibly deflated at the vocal coach’s words, jutting shoulder blades hunching further in on her form as if doing so would hide her from the swarm of party-goers surrounding them. ‘ you’re right. maybe he just needed a smoke. or ran into someone -- i don’t know. but, uh, you look really nice. ’ 

[cvrmns]

( lex. )

| ◤° [ ‘ BECAUSE THEY’RE ALWAYS together if he’s not with you. ’ lex explained carefully. most everyone knew who was in with one another and who wasn’t. killian was quite obviously friends with trista, they had come up together as far as lex had seen. ‘ do you want me to help you find her? or him? ’

       ‘ so they’re together all the time, then? ’ lex was only trying to help, but carmen couldn’t sweeten the bitterness that left her lips; not when this party was hard enough to be at and was made even worse by not knowing killian’s whereabouts. ‘ that... that would be great, yeah. but if you’re busy just forget it. ’

[cvrmns]

( yousef. )

| ◤° [ ‘ I DIDN’T SAY all that. i said that you fucking deserve more credit than give you. f you don’t want it, shit. don’t take it. ’ he glared, trying not to let his anger get the best of him, but they were so fucking frustrating. 

        ‘ i don’t need it. ’ carmen clarified, more to themselves than yousef. ‘ i’ll take it, i guess. i just don’t know where this is coming from. it’s a huge contradiction, especially from YOU, of all people. ’

[cvrmns]

( lex. )

| ◤° [ ‘ KILLIAN? ’ LEX WAS less than surprised that carmen was searching for him, lamb having lost her shepherd, but he tried to dredge up the last time he’d even seen the other outside of the awards and was drawing a blank. kilian towered over most, was easy to spot in a crowd, but lex couldn’t remember him even being at the party yet. ‘ ah, i can’t say i have? did you try asking tris? ’

      ‘ no. why would i ask HER? ’ carmen snapped before she could help herself. she couldn’t even see tris among the hoards of people she was pretending to know, which only nagged further at her increasing anxiety. ‘ i mean... we’re not friends or anything. she wouldn’t wanna help me. ’

[cvrmns]

( alistair. )

“Sorry, I haven’t seen him yet,” Alistair said, not that he’d been looking. He knew of Killian, sure, but didn’t know him especially well. “The night’s still young, I’m sure he’ll turn up.”

      ‘ maybe. ’ annoyance crept its way up her throat and past her lips. he didn’t even care, none of them did. ‘ could you at least, like, check the bathroom or whatever? if it’s not too much trouble. ’

[cvrmns]

( yousef. )

| ◤° [ REGARDING THE BRUNETTE warily, yousef took a cautious step back, darkened gaze narrowing in uncertainty at their reaction. ‘ i’m not joking. i’m saying good job. for getting nominated at all. ’

     ‘ really? ’ dark eyes darted wildly under thick lashes as if in search of hidden cameras. ‘ but why? i’ve been nominated for things before. i didn’t even win, you did. is that what this is about? congratulations, then. ’

[cvrmns]

        ‘ i’m sorry to bother you, ’ it had been years since carmen had gone to a party of any kind COMPLETELY sober. she felt jarred and disjointed, as if everyone else was moving on a different wavelength; too fast and fueled by something that she was lacking. but worry clouded all of that in a dark grey, her fears for what might happen to her currently absent boyfriend playing on repeat in her mind’s eye. ‘ have you seen killian? we need to get a photo taken. ’ she lied, knowing full well that he was building up to an explosive crescendo that could ruin what little progress they’d made.  

[cvrmns]

( yousef. )

[ ◤·°— @cvrmns !! ]

| ◤° [ SWALLOWING HIS PRIDE wasn’t something that the twenty-five year old rapper was accustomed with. if he was wrong, he bottled up the fact and let it fester until an anger gnarled and twisted his insides to something ugly and hateful. tonight, however, he was humbled and he wanted to get something off of his chest. ‘ so uh, i just wanted to say that you -you are more credible than i uh, give you credit for. ’

    it wasn’t that carmen was afraid of yousef, not in the slightest, but their body reacted as if they’d been struck -- manicured fingernails cut crescents into their clammy palms, the question of whether to fight or flight causing a disturbing numbness to spread its way through their limbs. carmen wanted to find killian, they wanted to go HOME, but the thoughts of proving yousef right yet again caused a sickening shame to pulse in their chest. ‘ i don’t get it... what’s the joke? ’

[mortereros-blog]

❛ — snapchat ;

[cvrmns]

lolapop: ooooh hit up guisados lolapop: those tacos are fucking bomb

PRINCESSCARMEN: we’ll see what the big baby wants.  PRINCESSCARMEN: boys are so indecisive.