🔹 BABY, YOU CAN BE MY...

LISTEN !! i'm tellin' you, it's my world, i does what i WISH to. if you're mad well too bad, sounds like a personal issue. ( i'm FUCKING your girlfriend & there's nothing you can do about it. )

[luzvimindos-blog]

my lazy arse will be on after work smh & i will prob be bringing a new char init

[luzvimindos-blog]

( HANI . )

| ◤° [ ‘ WELL, I WANTED cake.’  she mumbled stubbornly, pushing her way past anything before her to get to their car. in all honesty, she had just wanted to keep him from her house. every small encounter that they had in her space left sia wanted to pack and move, find some new space that was clean of him so she could sleep easy and breathe without feeling choked. saying that aloud, especially now as they were ( once again ) on a mend, would have been counter productive. ‘ if you weren’t such a child star, people wouldn’t be this gross about you going out. ’ 

      ‘ are you happy now that you got your cake? ’ he tried for a soft smile, beaming despite her lacklustre response; ANYTHING to lighten the mood and curve the sharp edges that trapped them into something that ran smoother. ‘ well, it’s not like i can help that now. you got a time machine handy? ’ there were many things luz wished he could change, child stardom being high up on the list, but he might not have met sia if not for his ill-fated career. realistically, he wouldn’t be living and breathing amongst a pushing crowd of paparazzi if not for her. alive to the tips of his fingers, luz attempted to part the photographers like the red sea to clear a path for the mother of his children, but a rogue reporter slipped between the cracks, shoving himself right up into sia’s face to snap a picture. luz couldn’t help his initial reaction, though he was relieved that it was to protectively drape an arm across her slender shoulders than to swing his fist in a smooth arc that stopped abruptly on the guy’s face. little changes in behaviour, all amounting to something greater, he hoped. ‘ you wanna sit in the back? though, it’s not like blacked out windows will stop them from knowing we’re in the same car now. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( BARBIE. )

| ◤° [ ‘ BOY IF YOU don’t shut your ass up right now, i’ma put not only the fear of god in you, but the fear of chanclas as well. keep your weird ass kangaroo shit out of my favourite holiday. ’ she tutted, reaching out to push him. ‘ and don’t be a hater because you’re getting that DAD BOD on lock. besides, didn’t you havea nice day with your kids yesterday? ’ 

   ‘ chill, babes, christ. ’ luz knew he ought to watch his tone, but seeing barbie get so wound up about a national holiday was far too amusing. ‘ i’m so offended. kangaroos are shredded, please. have you ever seen an australian who’s not hot? i had a great day with my kids but that’s besides the point. ’

[gothes]

[luzvimindos-blog]

( RHYS. )

“This may be an unpopular opinion, but I love getting back to work after the weekend. Too much free time doesn’t suit me.” Rhys shuffled through the sheet music in front of them. “Though it would be much better if I could actually get anything decent out.”

     ‘ that’s wild. but i get it, to an extent. ’ he couldn’t relate to them as much as he wanted to – luz would have loved to be in the studio for days on end, devoting all his time to the last few songs of his album, but there were kids at home he would rather spend quality time with. ‘ hey, don’t cut yourself down so fast. genius takes time. ’ 

[luzvimindos-blog]

( POPS. )

| ◤° [ ‘ WELL, YOU KNOW that with how you two are, you’re never going to keep your kids completely out of the public eye. it’s something that’s going to happen. ’ sia had done a good job so far, keeping their youngest child off social media for the most part and hardly having his face seen in pictures until now. ‘ she went. that’s something. am i… allowed to ask what you talked about? ’

     it was an unfortunate truth that their kids had been born into this life, without any kind of choice in the matter. reese was forever doomed to wear the label of ‘ the accident ’ and javi would always be the baby boy without a mother. luz could only hope that the secret sia was currently keeping from him wouldn’t suffer such a fate. ‘ that’s just how it goes, i guess. you can ask, but there’s not much to tell. it was like... i just listened to her talk for like an hour about how she feels. it was nice to hear it-- well not NICE, but i think i needed it. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

ok i’m lit falling asleep on my laptop but i’ll try and get some replies done tonight & before work tomorrow c: i finish early enough so i’ll def be doing replies then too xoxo

[luzvimindos-blog]

( BARBIE. )

| ◤° [ ‘ I THINK WE should all give a round of applause for the fact that i actually worked out yesterday after making food for thirty people. like, i must be named the domestic goddess of hollywood because i been cookin’ since fucking monday and i still managed to keep this body snatched for thanksgiving. ’ 

      ‘ yeah, yeah. quit bragging, okay? it’s not cute. ’ while an impressive feat, luz didn’t quite feel like encouraging barbie’s smugness. maybe it was jealousy, maybe he simply enjoyed keeping her on her toes. ‘ since monday? the fuck? i just... don’t get the whole thanksgiving thing. it’s like, a bigger deal than christmas. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( HANI. )

| ◤° [ ‘ GOD, I CAN’T stand this shit. ’ the small blonde mumbled, raising her hand to cover her face from the snapping cameras and paparazzi that waited outside as she exited the restaurant. ‘ this, ’ she muttered to her companion, ‘ is why i hate meeting you for lunch. because they do this and i’m just too fucking tired right now. ’ 

       ‘ hey, you’re the one who suggested this place. i was perfectly content to have pb&j in the back garden. ’ unwilling to argue with what he knew, deep down, to be sia’s pregnancy cravings, luz had agreed to going wherever she wanted. in hindsight, he should have predicted that he’d have to place his body between the prying paparazzi and the mother of his children. doing so tugged fiercely at the pinched corners of his heart, having to find the perfect balance of shielding but not touching so as to keep in her good graces; so people wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

[luzvimindos-blog]

( ALEIA. )

     she took note of his endearing sarcasm, responding to it with a casual flick of loose hair. “ a girl’s gotta be moving the whole night. don’t have time to slip on a pair of warm fuzzies. i think i remember seeing you do that, – it would explain what you were doing under the table. “

     ‘ i had to be discreet -- talbott would’ve skinned me alive if she saw me committing such a fashion faux pas. ’ he usually never began conversations with the intention of talking about sia, but surely it would do no harm and establish some normalcy. they didn’t hate each other’s guts anymore, or at least he thought so. luz’s smile, brief in its hesitance, eased its way into something lighter and teasing. ‘ quite the social butterfly, aren’t you? seems to me you had a pretty good night. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( ALEIA. )

     " i can say this now that the awards are over with but those heels were killing me. someone messed up the order and got me a half size too small and let me tell you, – walking around in those were a literal nightmare. much love to all the support that i got from the event, it was surprisingly a great time. momma came home with a prize. “  

       ‘ oh, same. ’ luz winced, as if he had been walking around in anything other than sneakers for most of the night. ‘ i always pack a pair of fuzzy socks, y’know? to wear under the table during the show. just girly life hacks. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( HANI. )

| ◤° [ SHE’D GROWN ACCUSTOMED to the hollow gestures that came with gifts over words, money over actions, displays of affection with distance between two people rather than a face to face interaction. this was just another thing to be thrown at her in hopes for a mending of something that took only two simple words, but elysia nodded numbly and let her lips spread, open to show teeth as if that made her plastic smile more believable. ‘ okay. thank you. ’ her body shifted closer, side pressing against his as her mind warred with getting too close and feeling that she’d never be close enough. forgiving him couldn’t be this easy, but she missed the comfort of his arms. moreover, she knew from his broken appearance that he needed hers, as thin and spindly and weak as they were, to wrap around him. so she balanced her plate in her lap and loosed wrapped one arm around his waist, opposite hand raising to run her thumb beneath the welled tears that caught in his eyes. ‘ sad boy, what’s wrong? smile for me. we’re having fun, right? ’ were they? trapped in the makeshift transparent cocoon they’d created in the small niche of the party, false solitude and privacy surrounding them thinly. ‘ it’s okay. i’ll take care of you. i’ll always have to. ’

        cracks began to fissure where he had halfheartedly sealed them. his knuckles, an array of scarlet and bloomed bruising, purples and blues staining his skin like ink to porous paper. it hurt more to see her so vulnerable and willing to do anything just to please him, this wasn’t how it was supposed to turn out. everyone knew what he had done to her -- if his previous argument with killian was anything to go by -- how he had used her up until there was nothing left and taken advantage in every way. sia deserved better than sitting on the floor, trying to reassemble his crumbling pieces and hold him together with spindly arms. ‘ i’m sorry. ’ he croaked, but tried for a smile despite his utter lack of happiness, if only to see hers mirroring his own for that bit longer. ‘ we’re having fun, sad girl. you always make it better. ’ the more he convinced himself that this was fine and they were doing fine, the easier it was for him to drape his arm around her shoulder and return the embrace, to offer even half the amount of warmth and comfort she was granting him. ‘ you don’t have to do that anymore, okay? we can take care of each other. you deserve support, ha-hani. you deserve to be happy. ’ though she asked him not to call her that anymore, luz hoped sia knew by now that the name was not solely for romantic affection, it was simply all he knew her to be and anything else felt wrong. 

[luzvimindos-blog]

( KILLIAN. )

| ◤° [ TONGUE RUNNING OVER dry lips, green eyes scanning over freckled features that resembled the devil himself; killian kept his composure, but leant dangerously close to his younger cousin to make it clear the words that came out of his mouth next were for no one other than luz. ‘ you’re still just that annoying little MISTAKE that your parents couldn’t wait to get rid of. and that’s all you’re going to be. you’re that THING people look back on and think ‘ fuck, why did i do that to myself? ’ you’re a learning lesson for everyone around you to not be like you. to not w a n t you. to not LOVE you. ’ his hand screamed to form a fist, connect with soft muscle and tissue and draw blood, but he wasn’t going to disappoint carmen. he had to be good enough for her. she was all ready so much better, so much purer, more fragile, more pristine than he’d ever be ( cracks and flaws included, but that added to her beauty ). he wasn’t going to let her leave him in the dust with her new sobriety when he was still just the mess she’d reeled in years ago that had yet to change. he felt on a high, untouchable and invincible, the likes of luz wouldn’t lower that. ‘ you’d know all about being a drunken daddy, wouldn’t you? should i ask SIA about it or would i get a more honest answer from RYAN about what it’s like having one? ’

        pressure mounted in the cavern of his chest, reaching a boil without any conceivable end, without any ounce of mercy. never before had luz felt such loathing towards another human being, but deep down he knew it was because everything killian spat was true. it was undeniable and the taller brunet would have no ammunition had luz not been such an awful son, boyfriend, and father. ‘ 'spose you can relate, yeah? couldn’t wait to get rid of that baby, i bet. she probably did it on PURPOSE. ’ the poison had spread to the darkest of depths, undiluted and rotting, drawing the most malicious intent from the places he couldn’t let anyone see. he wasn’t supposed to be like this anymore, and at sia’s party of all places. bile burned its way up his throat, backing down to his stomach again in a vicious cycle; she would be disgusted with him, she would HATE him even more. luz’s body went numb at the realisation, immediately backing down from any fight it had built itself up to. the toxic energy spun inside him with no escape, no form of release, because he couldn’t hit killian, he couldn’t reach that low when he had been climbing so high so fast. relenting, he took a step back to distance himself from any potential violence that could erupt and met killian’s glare head on. ‘ yeah, i would know all about that. you wanna be a drunken daddy too? go wild, for all the fucks i give. drink yourself to death. ’

[nno-risk-deactivated20220210]

[luzvimindos-blog]

( RACH. )

❛We don’t want you out of the party again.❜ she chuckles. It was alright, she could get her own drink it wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. Her green eyes roll, as a smile forms at the corner of her red painted lips.  ❛Im not that WEAK for you, please. But I was just stating the OBVIOUS. How are things with Sia though?❜

      ‘ wouldn’t be a party without me. ’ the corner of his mouth jerked upwards in a swift and sharp smile. it didn’t feel like much of a party without the buzz of some illicit substance flooding his veins, without a drink in his hand. but to luz, a party always ended with a ride in the ambulance and no such thing would happen tonight. ‘ but you ARE weak for me, right? i don’t blame you -- everyone is. ’ he paused, taken aback by the question. ‘ i don’t know. read the GLC’s article if you want a play by play. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( TALBOTT. )

[ ◤·°— @luzvimindos !! ]

| ◤° [ THE BASS FROM overhead music vibrated the walls, caused her body to shake with the force of it as she tucked her body into an unoccupied corner of the lounge. personally, it was all a little much. rarely did she enjoy things that solely focused on her and most people were aware of her lack of social competence more often than not, but not even having the crutch of alcohol made her turn to the only other comfort she’d ever known: food. picking at her plate, small slider burgers she’d begged the kitchen staff to make her, sia watched the crowd around and felt content with that. just watching. as a figure approached her, features becoming clearer and more familiar with proximity, she gave a gentle smile. ‘ so, do i get to ask what all of this is? ’

      a collapse of ribs, the hot white pressure that squeezed his chest to the point of snapping and penetrated his lungs and his heart with clean and sharp bone. luz held his breath for the length of time it took him to find sia, throat burning and lips trembling with the effort of not gasping in a breath of toxic air. it was as if the sight of her healed all that was sick and wrong in him for a single moment: as if his stomach wasn’t churning because of the words he’d just spat at his cousin, as if his hand wasn’t shaking with the pain that came after forcing his fist against what turned out not to be drywall. repeatedly. as if he wasn’t sick in the head for the thoughts he carried around inside it at every moment of every day. his body melted into the ground at the first sight of a smile he had seen from her in so long, and he responded without thought, near black eyes brimming with both tears and temporary joy. knees drawn to his chest, mindful of the space he took up next to her and her craving foods, he smiled at sia wider still. he wanted to tell her, to confess, but the music was too loud and his heart was beating too fast to stop it. so he nudged her with his elbow, playful and gentle, careful not to speak too loudly because of how coarse his voice would sound. ‘ all of this is for you. that’s it. ’

[luzvimindos-blog]

( KILLIAN. )

| ◤° [ ‘ AND WHAT DO you know about family? where is yours? ’ from an outsider’s perspective, they had nothing in common. despite being true, it paled in comparison to the canyon that lay between the two. all he had ever known of luz was a spoilt brat, hearing only what his distant uncle of some sorts in some way would tell him about his disappointment of a son. killian had been less than impressed with luz when they were children and that underwhelmed assumption had only followed through the years. ‘ fuck you. ’ the taller male hissed, sickened laugh following echoing out hollowly with the bass of the music that muted their conversation to all others. ‘ you sure you’re not confusing me for you? because at least MY mother loves me. at least my girlfriend? she’s still my girlfriend. if i asked her to marry me, she wouldn’t say NO. and what have you got, ADRIAN? lapping shit up, i’ve got my own shit. i don’t need yours. and sia doesn’t need it either, but you can’t let that go, can you? gotta feel like she still has to come to you for something so you throw her a big party to congratulate her; remind her that you still control the shit in her life, right? or, no. you guys are FRIENDS again so you’re just being n i c e and it has nothing to do with your stupid need to always, in some way, be the fucking centre of attention and control everything. ’

     red tainted his vision in a bloody and pulsing mess. the throb of a vein somewhere in the base of his skull reverberating, echoing, fit to burst and trigger the bubbling, hot rage that boiled there. ‘ where’s YOURS? mommy and daddy and baby makes three, right? ’ his tone balanced precariously on the barbed wire that stretched between an eerie calmness and uncontrollable anger. reaching for one of the passing waitresses, luz snatched a bottle of his very own brand alcohol from her tray and popped the cap to pour the contents at killian’s feet. ‘ you thirsty? this will make you feel better, kid. this will fix ALL your problems, trust me. ’ tipping over the edge, he spared a a glance at his poor excuse for a relative. each word he lashed at luz had seared him enough to leave a permanent mark, but he couldn’t act on it, no. this was all the control he could exert. ‘ THIS helped me get rid of my fucking mother. my father too. lost my girl for a long while, but it doesn’t look like your bitch needs a drunken daddy to make her fade away. ’ luz was in control, he was ALWAYS in control. letting things go any further would only make him lose it again; make him lose everyone again. he shoved the bottle and its remaining contents against killian’s chest and spun on his heel. this couldn’t go any further; he wouldn’t let it.