This is me trying *song lyric analysis*
I believe this song is about Taylor’s connection with her fans and her music. This album (folklore) is not something that she planned, what she planned was to be there at loverfest and see all of us in person and be there at the party with us. She already had gotten a lot of criticism about not being able to tour as usual with lover and loverfest was something that she was really putting her heart into to make happen all the while trying to be there for her mom and her family during difficult times. She is feeling the pull between her life as a songwriter and a guru of sorts to her fans and also her life with her family and her lover. She can’t be everywhere at once and right now even more so she is trapped just like the rest of us and unable to have the same type of connections with her fans that we all know she cherishes the most. This album is her trying to connect with us in a deeper way; to show her vulnerabilities and give us stories and worlds to escape too while also acknowledging the deep fears that we all have as a country and as a world.
Here are some choice lyrics that I feel best illustrate my point,
I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
I take these lines as referencing the time she took away from the spotlight prior to reputation. She felt she was losing control of her image and has mentioned on several occasions that she was afraid her fans wouldn’t be there as strong when she came back. She regrets even having those doubts and now has an even stronger relationship with her fans than ever.
They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
I related to this and feel that it actually illustrates how when someone is suffering from depression or anxiety they are often told that their fears and worries are unfounded and ‘all in their head’. When you are told that the only thing holding you back is yourself (even if it may be true), it can feel very invalidating as the person who is struggling because it makes it sound like they are choosing not to move forward and thus puts the blame for the anxieties on the sufferer. Instead of this type of rhetoric serving as a motivator, it is more likely that these words can push someone further down into a cycle of self doubt and even into relying on substance abuse to cushion the blow.
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
These lines are fairly straight forward if you follow the interpretation I am positing of this song. She regrets lyrics and statements she has made about certain people in her past songs. Her past words do not necessarily reflect who she is now.
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
Being ‘ahead of the curve’ is a common way of saying that someone is breaking down barriers in an industry, which Taylor certainly was doing. She is expressing here however that in trying to be the best and do things bigger than anyone else, she too felt herself falling into traps and being manipulated in the same ways she was trying so hard to avoid, and when everything came to a head, she had to take some time off and other artists continued to produce work while she was doing that. Even though her time to reflect was a necessary part of her journey, I think she still is blaming herself for letting things get out of control in a way and that is the regret she is expressing in these lines.
Pouring out my heart to a stranger
But I didn't pour the whiskey
This is where the song ties back into her relationship with her fans. She pours her heart out to us with every album she creates. This time it is more of a solemn and forgive my pun, ‘sobering’ experience for her. She is not pouring a drink to celebrate this album as some feat or mark of another successful milestone in her career. She doesn’t need to do that and that was not her goal with this one. This album was about her coming back to her roots as a story teller and as a songwriter and putting everything she had into that theme, not about making chart topping hits. (I mean in my opinion every song on this album could be a chart topper but thats not the point lol).
So in conclusion, this song, this album for instance is not another attempt to impress or even to profit in the same way. She is creating a legacy and building a relationship with her fans as a story teller and as an artist in ways she has perhaps always wanted to but never had the courage to. This album is her trying to be better in every way, as a person, as a songwriter, as an artist, and as someone who has a large following.
These are just my thoughts on the song so feel free to comment and share your own interpretations :)
snowghoul
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