World of Work

We either work for a paycheck, work to find work or work at home...we even work at not working. It all works.

[mikestockworks]

Siri Wants Me Dead

Driving wirelessly - isn’t it great? Isn’t it easy and convenient? Isn’t it so safe and fun: calling friends and family with a simple voice command and getting accurate directions simply by speaking out loud?

I wouldn’t know. I’m driving with Siri. And driving with Siri is like driving with a passive-aggressive robot, designed to do the opposite from what I ask. I have a perfect driving record (1 ticket in 20 years!) but I’ve nearly driven off the road or into other people many times because of Siri. And if I hadn’t known any better I would have driven hundreds of miles for a local cheeseburger if I’d followed Siri’s directions. All my road rage incidents are caused by Siri.

If Siri were a movie it would be a mashup of The Exorcist, and Thor. My devices are possessed by an entity that behaves like Loki, playing small but potent pranks: calling numbers I didn’t ask for (does “Sue” sound like “Darrin” to you?), giving directions to places I don’t want to go (a restaurant 2 miles away...by way of Dubuque, Iowa - I live in Michigan), or worse, pretending to be out of range or not on a network - while I’m totally connected to my home wifi, or actively using data.

Here is my most-often repeated scenario: While driving I press the Home button and say, “Call my wife.” The response is silence. I try again and say louder, “Call NAME”. Still nothing. I’m driving and have to wait for the next stop light to see what’s wrong with the phone and I see the message, “I’m sorry but I can’t help with that right now.” Really?! Because…. Why? Full coverage, total bars. And why is the message typed?? If I’m driving (and Siri is supposed to KNOW this) why wouldn’t it speak the error message to me? “I’m sorry, I’m on my lunch break now.”

I enunciate like a Midwest dictionary and there’s no road noise. Now I shout slowly: “CALL. N-A-M-E!” Nada. Zip. Goose egg. Now I’m angry and my pulse is medically unhealthy.

When using Siri the new normal for me has become getting my hopes up, utilizing technology that I own, to its fullest, only to have those hopes crushed by an immediate and stressful situation incurred by the deviant poltergeist in my phone. Screaming in slow, clear, concise dictionary English that would make a Frommer’s language coach proud I cry out: “C-A-L-L W-I-F-E” which becomes: “Calling...Ed Flange.” Wait. Who? Ed Flange? ED FLANGE?! We met once at a business thing in that city 10 years ago - THAT Ed Flange? It’s ringing! I’m going 50 miles an hour, now with tunnel vision, trying to beat my thumb against the phone somewhere near that stupid red button. ED FLANGE?! Taptaptaptap - still ringing! I’m swerving in my lane but for a horrible moment I don’t care. I must hang up the phone. Why can’t you shout, “NO!” Or “Hang up!” Or “Wrong number!” But you can’t. The arrogance of Siri is it isn’t designed to admit mistakes. It just disappears like a kid playing ring and run, watching the awkward consequence of a poorly executed command.

When this happened the first time I thought it was me. I responded by over enunciating and speaking louder. When it happened again I was irritated. Really? This is what a billion dollars in R&D gets me? The third time made me want to unplug Siri in a painful (to Siri) and conscious way - the same way Captain Dave Bowman unplugged HAL in the movie 2001.

“What are you doing, Mike?”

“I’m unplugging you, Siri.”

“Why are you doing that Mike?”

“Because you almost killed me Siri. More than once, and I’ve come to loathe you.”

It’s important you know that I never talk to myself. I don’t sing in the shower,  I don’t karaoke in the car, and I still don’t like voice-activated customer service prompts. They so rarely seem to work. So it’s very difficult to bring myself to actually speak out loud to an inanimate object - I feel silly. I don’t talk to my lamp or my shoes and it feels equally strange talking TO my phone. Which makes the Siri fails even more frustrating - and on more than one occasion passengers in the car next to me at a stop light have suffered the aural abuse of hearing me literally screaming profanities at my phone.

But maybe Siri just isn’t all that smart? Or to be more clear, since I don’t like personifying inanimate objects, perhaps Siri just isn’t there yet? My seven year old will ask: “Siri, where’s my daddy’s big fat butt?” Siri will attempt to deflect with some programmed version of banter, but a seven year old doesn’t give up easily and he’ll ask the same question a hundred different ways. On the occasion that Siri responds to the question - which happens randomly, since the questions are all worded about the same way - Safari will invoke a myriad images of Kim Kardashian and other near-adult images of posteriors. To be fair, Siri was being asked about butts. However if Siri is as responsive as its advertised, why would Kim Kardashian’s butt be equated with ‘daddy’s’ - or why wouldn’t Siri be able to spot a childish question?

Siri is no babysitter.

No. Instead Siri is the guest no one invited to the party. The one that lurks around the food, doesn’t make eye contact and engages only in non-sequiturs. “Excuse me, but who invited you to the party?” “Your egg rolls are cold.” And now that Siri is further embedded in iOS it has moved squarely and permanently into our living rooms, taking up valuable real estate and hogging the remote, watching shows we hate and sucking up all our bandwidth. Although Siri has come uninvited we have no way to evict this squatter. Siri has legally tapped our account so we actually pay Siri to sleep on our couch and eat our food. In return Siri dials wrong numbers, gives bad directions, or just refuses to speak, like a pouty teen-aged girl.

I am/we all are the culmination of human evolution. Regardless of how you think we got here, here we are: we have brains and opposable thumbs. It would set us back millions of years if we considered it a good idea to hand over our trust and control to an unthinking object that responds incorrectly to our commands just because advertising says it’s cool. I can think, Siri can’t. It isn’t a ‘he’ or ‘she’ or a navigator or an assistant. Siri is lines of code that are processing different ways to kill me.

I want to delete Siri like I would any other bad app. I want to exorcise it from my devices before my head starts to spin and I wind up in an accident or miles away from an important destination, or speaking with an old business acquaintance when I was really trying to call my wife.

If I’m forced to drive with Siri and the inevitably of my device being possessed, then Siri will be silenced, bound with duct tape and handcuffs and stuffed into the trunk. If I had my way a priest would exorcise it back into Beta, or Thor would smash Loki electronically back to Valhalla.

For now every time I hold the home button down a little too long and I get the misleadingly pleasing bingbing sound, I fight the urge to push my thumb through it like an offending eye. I want to stuff the app back down into the circuits from which it’s risen so I can live one more day. It’s bad enough, Siri trying to kill me in the car – I can’t imagine Siri, or any other lines of code, actually driving the car. From my cold, dead hands…

[mikestockworks]

Managing Remote Employees - Share Dreaded Pet Stories

As a remote employee you are dependent on the Internet. It is your lifeline to all things relative to your organization. But what makes you a real, breathing human being to the rest of your team and not just a name on an email signature is your voice. Your phone - wired, voip or wireless is the tool that carries your personality and allows others to get to know you. It is the umbilical cord that connects more than your name to your team, other departments and especially to your boss. 

Some would argue that it's video that serves this purpose - to actually see your team face-to-face, and this is true. However we use the phone much more often than we use video at work. We typically schedule video calls, they are not random like phone calls are throughout the day. Your voice is what really connects you to the organization. Because you are remote it's very important that people feel comfortable with you on the phone. It's not always easy; building relationships remotely takes effort. Having an approachable phone personality is a skill like any other office skill - some people are natural and others require more practice. It's also not a skill on which you're likely to get much feedback either. People like talking with you or they don't. But that's largely dependent on you: do you like talking to co-workers or don't you?

You may feel that you communicate enough during the day through torrents of company email and texts. But we also know that people continually fail at capturing mood accurately through type. Often people come across poorly in text when they are, in fact, very nice people. That's why providing your co-workers a chance to spend time with you on the phone is so important. It makes you both more real. It's also their responsibility to make equal effort to reach out to you, too, but since you're remote there's more onus on you to make yourself 'seen'.

Whether you enjoy chit-chat or not you should at least learn the basics of your boss and co-workers, and here's why: as my last post suggested, remote employees are out of sight, and out of mind - for the most part. You want your people to be comfortable with you, the way they would be if you were in the next cubicle. If the rest of your team is on site and you're not there, they might be considered first for other assignments or gathering input. If they think of you strictly in the narrow role you play in the organization they might not include you in their process.

Among the top skills employers are looking for these days, aside from a facility in the basic job function is a well-rounded set of soft skills: team-building, availability, and getting along with others. Building rapport is an essential soft skill and one that will make you an even more included member of the team. They should become used to speaking with you conversationally, and become more familiar with your strengths outside of your core duties. When that happens you will more likely be included in those "hallway" conversations, and called when other duties arise or when advice is needed. You won't seem so remote if your team knows you are available and able to engage.

Working on these relationships could mean leaving your comfort zone and asking a co-worker about their family or the dog or the place in which they live. Office-related conversation goes without saying, but you'll need to find that moving line between general information and gossip (good luck with that!). Maybe you're not much of a sharer and don't care to know anyone's personal details. But these are your people and if you were in the office you would be privy to - or subjected to, however you see it - hallway conversations, cubicle talk and randomly overheard snippets which you don't get at home. All of these conversations contribute to the culture, environment and working relationships around the office. It's important to place yourself in the culture as best you can. 

Aside from the necessity of building relationships over the phone there is also the importance of making yourself available. Everyone needs "heads down" time and often we schedule time for that. The way to do it effectively is to schedule it publicly on your calendar or IM, if possible, so your team knows when not to try and engage with you. If you don't schedule your time and you're not answering your phone it may appear as if you're ignoring your work group - or boss - or worse, that you aren't at your desk at all. Conversely, schedule "heads up" time or times that you welcome engagement. 

Although these ideas are important for remote employees, they can be applied equally to individuals or teams who are part of larger organizations spread across campuses, cities or countries. I once led a team whose members included individuals from Canada, Germany, Japan and Russia. Building that internal network was a challenge but rewarding!

Working full time at home can make you feel like you're an island, that all the good stuff is happening back in the 'real company'. But you are an integral and important part of the organization, and just as real. To prove it, just pick up the phone.

[mikestockworks]

How To Manage A Remote Employee - Engagement

What? Are you in a tunnel? I can't get my face any closer to the buttons!

Cliches exist because they have their roots in everyday experiential truth. "Out of sight, out of mind" is an excellent example and we can all think of a hundred ways this is true. So if you plan on hiring - or have already hired - an employee who is working from home, or from a different location than where you or the rest of the team are, make sure to strategize ways to keep your off site employee in your sights and top of mind. By 'in your sights' I don't mean you need to monitor their every move. What I mean is that you as the supervisor need to engage your remote employee as much as you engage the rest of the team in the office. This discussion takes on faith that you trust this employee and that you consider him/her to be as critical to the team as the rest of their colleagues. It also assumes that this remote employee is a relatively new hire and that this arrangement may be a new step for the both of you. To start with provide your remote worker with corporate and departmental org charts. These days many companies are owned by other, larger organizations and it's always helpful to know what the corporate landscape looks like. Also a remote employee isn't always dialed in to the office who's-who and a company/departmental org chart along with a phone list is an essential tool. It also provides the employee a sense of belonging, knowing who else is out there beyond the core team and how she/he fits in to the larger scheme of things. Team meetings are often scheduled on a routine basis. Typically contractors or others on the periphery of the team or those who have a stake in the agenda may be included via conference call. By now we've all seen videos that make fun of these calls and they, too have become cliche because of the truths they contain. This is a great example of a conference call meeting we've all had! The fact is if you have a full-time remote employee you're going to have to do better than have the bulk of your team in one room and the remote team mate consistently at the other end of an unstable phone connection. Aside from wonky connections much is lost with a conference call meeting. The remote employee misses essential, unspoken queues such as body language, voice inflections, facial expressions and other tells that help guide the discussion. Start to use video tools like Skype, FaceTime, GoToMeeting or other options. The point is to include all your team mates as equally as possible. We all know that video conferencing isn't perfect either, but for the purposes of holding regular team meetings, video is still better than keeping your team member as a disembodied voice in a wind tunnel. Holding regular one-on-one phone calls with your remote team member is important. They don't need to be task-related. In fact they should be informal and conversational; more like: 'How's it going over there?', 'Are you getting what you need?', or 'Here's what coming down the pipeline.' Remember your remote employee is not privy to hallway meetings and side conversations. His/her inclusion in the wider scope of goings-on is dependent upon you and the growing relationships of the team. Conversation via email is a given. Other, more immediate conversation tools include Microsoft Lync, Meebo (OSX, Windows) or Trillian (Windows), among others. These give team members a chance to talk directly to each other without further straining email in-boxes. Of course there's cell phone texting, too. The idea here is to ensure the consistent connection between the remote worker and the rest of the team. As the supervisor you will need to set up that initial structure to make sure your team is active and engaged. Their individual responsibilities will be discussed later, as will the idea of active collaboration. At this point you want your team member to feel like she/he is part of the team, and that you are in each others' sights. Who among you work remotely? What are your experiences? How do you engage with the rest of the team?

[mikestockworks]

Dude, Seriously I'm Working...Yes, From Home

Some calls you just can't escape.

We've all read articles from people who supposedly work from home. These stories are typically cute and anecdotal about how their dog is happier, or how they have to avoid snacking all day or how the temptation to do laundry can be overwhelming. I have a different experience which makes me question the validity of all those work-from-home stories. Before any of the temptations became such, and before the screaming neighborhood kids began driving me crazy (it's summer and the windows are open) I had one initial issue that has remained fairly consistent, and I can't think I'm unique to this situation. Because I work from home some people tend to think I don't actually work - at least not the way I used to in an office. They think I can walk away from my desk whenever I want to, that somehow my home status has magically erased all deadlines, reviews, quality of work, meetings and co-workers. I get calls during the day from retired family members who just want to chat because it seems that somehow we both share the same sense of time! "Hi again. Listen, can I call you back later? I've got a spreadsheet due...on sale, I know...no, I don't need any coupons....I need to call you back. No, I don't know what that sound your car is making means....yes, it's really nice out - you should go for a walk so I can get some work done.....I gotta go - what? I can't hear you - gotta. Call you. Back. Bye!" But it's not just family members; it's anyone who has a spare minute and thinks that because they do, I must also.

   Friend: "Dude! Want to grab a beer?"    Me: "It's 11 am on Tuesday."    Friend: "I know, isn't it awesome? I took the day off. Let's go to    the beach!"    Me: "Yeah....I'm working so, no."    Friend: "I know but you work from home! Like, who's gonna know?"    Me: "Like my boss and co-workers who are waiting for this report." Full-time employees working from home is an emerging trend that is gaining wider acceptance. No longer is it an occasional luxury for the salaried few who need some 'heads down' time. It's a real, established sector of the workforce. It's still a tenuous prospect though. Some employers are unwilling to try it due to the out-of-sight-out-of-mind factor. Also some employees don't see it as a privilege - they feel isolated from the social aspect of the workplace. Those of us who work from home try very hard to prove ourselves, to remain visible. Meeting deadlines, creating quality content and participating effectively as a team member are even more essential when you work remotely. You must be as available to your team mates then as you are when you're in an office and someone drops by for an impromptu meeting. Sure you can let the dog out or put in a load of laundry, but responsible employees don't hit the beach during the workday. Working from home can be difficult enough. You need to tell your friends you're actually 'at work' and you'll hang out or talk about their relationship problems later. But you'll always at the mercy of family phone calls no matter where you're sitting! And now it's time for another snack...

[mikestockworks]

The Future of Recruitment - Applicants Better Hire A Lawyer

It's hard to find good workers these days. That's what so many companies are saying. HR representatives and managers will tell you how people aren't showing up, even for a scheduled interview, or to work once they get hired. The work ethic in general is down the tubes, is what we keep hearing. So. How should a company recruit from a motley crew like this? Here's a thought: if the workers won't come to you, or if a talented individual turns down your offer, it might be time to sue! That's right - consider suing an applicant in order to bring them on board! Nothing motivates a person into action like a good law suit. Since corporations are now people, too, complete with belief systems (Hobby Lobby), it's just a matter of time before an individual of specific and sought-after talents refuses an offer based on the company's belief system. And when that happens, what's to keep that company from suing the individual for discrimination? You scoff, but this letter could become a real possibility: Dear Applicant, We were very impressed with your qualifications. Your knowledge of decoupage and different kinds of glue were impressive, as were your customer service skills. Your work history is flawless and the recommendations we read on your LinkedIn profile were positively glowing. As you can imagine we were saddened by your rejection of our employment offer, based on our religious beliefs. After 73 scheduled interviews - only 54 of whom actually showed, 41 of those didn't lie on their resume, 18 didn't show any employment gaps, and only 5 passed a background check - we thought you were the perfect fit! So rather than start that laborious process all over again, we've decided to sue you, instead. You did not reject our offer based on working conditions or job description but rather on our beliefs. That's discrimination, sister, and we simply cannot tolerate that! You will come work for us in the capacity of the offer we extended (now with a 10% cut in salary), or we will come after you with everything we've got - which is considerable, since the Supreme Court now receives lifetime coupons for 40% off everything in the framing, glitter and Styrofoam sections! We are delighted to have you as part of our team and look forward to seeing you bright and early on Monday! Don't. Be. Late. Sincerely, Hobby Lobby Management It's only a matter of time. With a bajillion Baby Boomers retiring the workforce is experiencing a loud, sucking sound. Who's going to fill that vacuum? The lackeys, scofflaws, freeloaders, and failures we keep hearing about from employers? Or the Millennials who have their own, updated work ethic which doesn't yet gel with the established 8 - 5 culture? For the handful of qualified candidates who are left I'm guessing that legal action will become the hot, new recruitment tool!

[mikestockworks]

Still Rocking And Keeping The Brand Alive - After 30 Years

Black Sabbath recently released a new album, which for some of us is very exciting. Sure, maybe it's for Old Folks, the children of the 70s who grew up listening to the Grateful Dead and Led Zeppelin. But I have to say, the music on "13" sounds pretty good. Ozzy still sounds like Ozzy and Sabbath still rocks! But this post isn't a  review of the newest Sabbath disc. The reason I'm writing about this is precisely because Sabbath Still Rocks. It's their first album in over 30 years. Think about it. How long have you had your job? Have any of you had the same job or even the same career for over 30 years? Thirty years from now will be 2043 (!!). Assuming you're still in the working world do you think your co-workers or industry peers will be saying about you, "Wow, Betty still rocks! No one does Accounting like her!" or "This company/department wouldn't be where it is without Juan! Juan still rocks!" Sure, musicians are artists - presumably they have a true passion and drive for their profession. And let's face it, it's hard to picture Ozzy Osbourne giving up music to work in an office. But still...doing something and doing it well for over 30 years, and being recognized as an innovator while still being relevant...well that's pretty cool and you don't have to like Black Sabbath to appreciate the thought. Are you passionate about what you do every day? What will it take for you to keep your passion alive in your workplace? I'm sure the list is much longer but think of these bands who are still going at it 30+ years later: Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones, Rush, Neil Young, Alice Cooper, Carlos Santana... Will you be a Rolling Stone in 2043? Will you be able to maintain your passion and drive?

What are your thoughts?

[mikestockworks]

The Ignominy of Leaving - Even if It's (Mostly) on Our Own Terms

We've all been there, or at least most of us have. Especially if we've lived in Michigan for any length of time. The day we get...The Notice. Have the Talk. When our boss tells us it's time to go.

If we've been in the world of work long enough we've packed up our offices at least once. The reasons are myriad: the economy, lack of sales, layoff, completed project, performance; the list goes on.

It happened to me not too long ago. My job related to workforce development, and my salary was dependent on federal grants from an act of Congress (no, really!). The irony of having a job in that sector is that in a bad economy (the Recession) workforce development agencies really kick into high gear, and for good reason.  When the economy becomes healthy again, workforce funding decreases substantially.

So just as everyone else was headed back into work after suffering through the Recession, I was boxing up my stuff. It's happened before. I've worked for large companies through seasons of layoffs. Some I've survived, others haven't. Funding cuts go with the economic territory. I kept as few personal effects in the office as I could. Luckily, I had the promise of a new gig waiting, but no one else knew that. Word had simply gotten around that I was being downsized.

Boxing up my stuff got weird. People walked by my office, looking away, at the floor or straight ahead. I was being gawked at, but virtually, metaphorically. No eye contact. It was OK,  I understood precisely. Being downsized is like having a virus. Get too close and you might catch it. Sick by association. I also understand that people don't know what to say, so rather than enter the office to offer sympathy, condolences or to kvetch, it's easier to keep walking.

The problem is, these are your friends. Or at least your work friends. Or at least you find out who your friends - work or personal - really are when you're putting books and photos of your family into a box.

I didn't take any of it personally. I was mentally moving on to what I hoped was my next job while my coworkers were trying to maintain their current one. I felt good about what I'd accomplished in my position and was prepared to take my work to a different level.

It's still hard to put seven years' worth of collateral into your car and unload it into the basement. Awards, certificates, phone lists, desk toys....boxed up in the dark.

That was Friday. That same afternoon my new job was assured and by Monday morning I was all in at my next gig.

The World of Work continues at home. No longer is a day or an afternoon 'working from home' the occasional luxury. It's the real deal with a different set of circumstances. More on all of that next time!

My only piece of advice, if this ever happens to you is: whatever you forget in your office, you won't miss it! Your basement will thank you.

[mikestockworks]

Healthcare.gov - Classic IT Project Fail

For those precious few of you following this blog - maybe a couple of friends - you'll notice it's been awhile since I wrote, and that this topic is almost passe at this point. But the server lost my blog in the Sentinel's site upgrade and this topic has been on my mind lately so I'm going to write about it anyway! At this point the web site Healthcare.gov is going from a halting trip to a slow limp and now might be considered a painful walk. It's up and technically running but the users' trust level is still on the way-low side. Many of us recognized the launch of Healthcare.gov as the classic web site launch fail. The business drove the deadline, the IT staff weren't ready and the two obviously weren't talking. Judging from comments and testimony there was the inevitable scope creep somewhere in there, too. The enactment of the law and the confusion surrounding how it would affect people, and the failure of the web site launch created the perfect storm of mass confusion and disinformation all around. Republicans had their field day and citizens were confused. The saddest part for me, a communications professional, was the fact that there was no one of any authority separating the law and its policy from the web site and its launch. That is, until it was simply too late. To be clear about the policy let's remember that every President since Reagan - and possibly back to Jimmy Carter - has wanted to change the health care system. There are three Republican Presidents on that list, each of whom tried to amend the existing health care system. Everyone knew it was broken and expensive, and each tried their hand at fixing it. President Obama has been the only one who's ever been able to change the health care law. It's time had finally come and the bad has come along with the good, but even the launch of the law and the details of what it contains has been confusing. As for the site itself, every IT or e-marketing professional knew right away what had happened. The surprising thing is that it happened at all, especially given that President Obama is the most technically savvy President we've ever had. But, alas, he wasn't in charge of building a web site, secured for the masses. To understand some of the reasons behind the colossal failure of the design and launch you need to understand the procurement process of the government, and that is something of which I'm very familiar. Unfortunately. To do work for the government on a contract basis requires a ream of paperwork, near-inside knowledge of what contracts are available, who will receive them and the scope of the work to be done. The requirements on the part of contractors is onerous. On the government side choosing the vendors is based largely on cost. Not always, mind you, but cost weighs very heavily. The adage, "you get what you pay for," didn't come out of nowhere. The Healthcare.gov project is case in point. According to the web site company's own testimony they tested for a user base of 50,000 users. That means 50,000 people hitting the 'refresh' button all at once. Anyone with common sense should have known that the launch of a web site which millions of people would be required to use the user base should be much, much higher than that! Listening to some of the old-time Republicans ranting about hiring "Google scientists and Twitter gurus" to do the work just made me mad. They know very well why those people didn't get hired - they've been around so long it wouldn't surprise me if they were some of the original drafters of the rules surrounding procurement! Those 'gurus' also didn't get hired because they didn't offer themselves up as vendors either! Ironically they may not have qualified to BE contractors! Healthcare.gov was the best example in our lifetime of an IT project gone wrong! It also speaks to my article about creating cross-functional teams, and how successful they can be. If only the business had worked with IT during the whole project the healthcare.gov web site might have been the one shining star in the swirl of the health care law requirements. Instead it became the sucker punch we all got hit with.