The word-putter-togetherer

I'm a writer/poet/word-putter-togetherer from Liverpool, England. I post poems and reblog funny things. Hope you like it here :)

[mikeyfer]

Nobody’s Favourite

I know how it feels

To be nobody’s favourite

Maybe I’m a friend

To some even a confidant

I’m fine with my role

I’ve come to love it

No expectations

A stark lack of affection

I’m fine

I’m fine

I’m fine with it

I’m trying to convince myself

That being alone is best

There are things I miss

The warmth of a hug

Tingly feeling of kissing

I’m trying to convince myself

That I don’t need it all

I’m totally fine

I’m fine with it

I’m nobody’s favourite

I’m nobody at all

But I’m somebody to me

I’m me

And I’m lonely

But I’m free

[mikeyfer]

Back again!

Hi. Not been on here in an age, thinking of trying to get some writing on here again. I have been working on something, but it's only a snippet of a thought. Might post it, we'll see.

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

eyes open, world spread bare...

the shame - how did I miss this?

how did I let this happen?

things have flipped so drastically

but at the same time...

nothing about who I am has changed.

I am who I've always been

only....

I hate her a bit less.

the framework around me has turned upside down

but I am still me.

I realise it all looks better this way

it's calm. it's home.

it's freedom.

[mikeyfer]

This resonates. I love it!

I have a lot to catch up on, not been on here in an age!

[quaintobsessions]

Where We Fit In

In the glistening dark over screams a song unfurls out of nothing and nowhere

that sounds as though it was crafted by time itself as it dictates our heartbeats.

Raw, right then, never sung again. I discover it as if I was there wide awake that night,

thrust into a real world I could believe in. I listen and time is not distance

traversed on train tracks, time makes me new like the melody woven on the spot. Spiders’ silk,

mulberry spinning, the screams throwing out the PA imprint on me how what passes,

imperfect, surreal, becomes what lasts.

[mikeyfer]

I LOVE this!

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

Stars sizzle, burn up, explode, scream and die above - we said, “it’s pretty.”

[mikeyfer]

Another Day

And so, another day passes.

Another missed target

Another failed goal

Another promise to myself broken

Another piece of myself fading

Another back pain

Another struggle to walk

Another bout of disgust at my weight

Another lie to myself that I'll do better tomorrow

Another day of my life wasted

Another tick of the clock

Another feeling of self-loathing

Another cry

Another bad thought

Another night spent with my regrets

Another

Another

Another

Another

How does this change?

How does this end?

Is it always just going to be another?

Probably.

In the meantime

Another day comes.

[everythingfox]

am scared

(via)

[mikeyfer]

This past few weeks have been weird, and I don't know where else to write this but here. I know I have my close friends and our group chat, but I don't wanna burden them with this. I'm not handling it all as well as I could be, and at the moment I just feel unprepared and useless. I don't know what to do.

I feel like the reason I've been affected so much lately by things is because I've not felt anything for a while (with the occasional nice times changing that briefly, in those moments), and this most recent thing, being a bad thing, despite not even directly affecting or involving me, has hit me like a freight train.

Sorry to whoever reads this, I just needed to vent.

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

sometimes, the only time I feel like people like me is when I'm pretending to be something I'm not. I really can't blame anyone but myself there. but in my defence, I don't really know what I am right now so I may as well be what everyone wants me to be - but I don't have the energy.

People say they just want you to be yourself, but then when I try that.... It doesn't often yield positive results, and then I'm back to just trying to fit in and please everyone. I don't know who to be anymore.

[mikeyfer]

I feel this a lot myself, like my real me doesn't feel like it's enough, so I end up just shrivelled up and becoming a shadow that nobody notices.

What I can tell you is there are people, like me, like our mutual friends, who love you for who you are, and done expect any particular version of you.

We accept and embrace any version of you that you wish to show us, whether that's a tired potato, or an all powerful meme queen. You are very important and special to me, bestie ❤

[mikeyfer]

Its only taken us several years and two separate visits to get a selfie, but here we are, me and @lydiateasedale, doing an inside joke as per usual 😂 our entire lives led to this moment, and we get to wave hoodie sleeves about 😂

[mikeyfer]

EXCITEMENT!!!

I can't wait to see @lydiateasedale this weekend! Maybe this time we'll actually get a picture together instead of just drinking and screaming powerthirst lines all over the pub 😂

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

maybe I just want

to live my life at last

tired of safe, careful,

shrink, hide, quieten...

I want to shout

I'm not dead,

not even a living death,

and you know what?

believe it or not folks

I can be capable of playing it safe

while still holding out my hand

to someone who deserves the help.

don't worry, I'm not the girl you think I am

or the girl that pretty much anyone

thinks I am.

even if you think you're close...

you might be, but you still don't know

the things I am capable of,

the strength I keep stored for emergencies

and the knowledge that

my naive cutesy crushing

is only the top layer.

beneath it lies a guardian force

constantly assessing,

always looking at every angle,

just in case.

I may be smol in height

with a baby face

but I am so much more than you know.

power runs through my veins

that no one can ever take from me

and many have tried... and failed.

I cannot

and will not

be broken.

[mikeyfer]

I fucking LOVE this!!!

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

"when dad says get up you get the fuck up okay?"

incredible start to my day dunno about you guys

[mikeyfer]

Dad Durst, everyone's nu-metal daddy

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

there's hunners of smashed tatties outside my house for some reason

@mikeyfer we must get vengeance

[mikeyfer]

REFENGE FOR OUR FALLEN ROUND BOIS

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

of course we romanticise insanity

but it's only because

it's just too hard not to.

i am a graceful nymph

when i am empty;

hollow bones and ethereal light.

i am a true goddess

until the hot winds blow

and, ashamed, i eat again.

[mikeyfer]

Are you left-handed, Mikey?

I am!

[lydiateasedale-deactivated20221]

Just telling @mikeyfer about my new job and... 😂👸

[mikeyfer]

It sounded way better in my head, like actually regal 😂