Moth to a flame - Jon’s POV on sailing through the romantic journey of the Jonerys ship in S07
I’ve discussed Jon & Dany’s mirroring arcs in great detail in what’s practically my Jonerys Thesis which ends at the worlds colliding and these two finally meeting. I got an amazing request to write a meta from Jon’s perceptive on him falling in love with Dany. So let’s take this season apart with a scalpel to explore Jon’s romantic journey in S07. Let’s start with the most basic premise - Jon doesn’t know Dany. We need to put aside our understanding of her character and view her as a stranger, whose help he needs to save the North from a zombie apocalypse and everyone in his life packed him a nice baggage of prejudice before he left Winterfell.
The Bias he starts out with:
Dany’s father brutally murdered Jon’s uncle & grandfather and her brother kidnapped & raped Jon’s aunt to his knowledge.
Jon’s father, Ned, fought in the rebellion to overthrow the Targaryens.
The Northern Lords & his sister are sure he would be killed or burnt alive if he meets Dany.
She sailed to Westeros as a foreign invader and the Westerosi expect a conquest as scary as Aegon’s in an already war torn, bankrupt and politically unstable country at the brink of a zombie apocalypse.
Cersei’s ‘Mad King’s daughter’ propaganda is spreading like wildfire.
I talked about this in my Jonerys meta as well but the House values of Stark & Targaryen contradict in terms of avoiding the game to focus on the threats that winter brings vs dominating the game with godlike power of dragons. These values were only amplified when Jon joined The Night’s Watch, which completely avoids politics to focus on threats beyond The Wall and when Dany was left with the burden of ‘The Last Targaryen’ with sole responsibility & resources to restore her House’s honour.
I will explore how this conflict in their belief system comes into play in most of their scenes until their goals finally align. But to begin with, Jon receives an order from Dany to come bend the knee, similar to the one Cersei sent him. The Starks have conflicts with Targaryens and Lannisters at a very similar level & Jon is at a place politically where he detests any political ambition other than protecting the realm from White Walkers considering how the “Game of Thrones” destroyed the realm and left it too weak to survive a zombie apocalypse. He doesn’t know all the good she has done in Essos or why people follow her, all he can see is yet another person who wants the Iron Throne based on their birthright.
The North has no ammunition to fight the White Walkers & their army is too small. There is no hope for their survival come winter. He is motivated to meet her only when he realises that Dragonstone has abundance of Dragonglass & Dragons along with her massive army which could give them a fighting chance.
Jon personally doesn’t hate Targaryens. In the books it’s mentioned that many of his personal heroes from history were Targaryens and it’s natural to be fascinated by the presence of a dragon riding Targaryen after reading so much about them in myths & legends.
He is terrified of the worst case scenario that could await him but the best case scenario is that she represents hope for life. She could just be harbinger of summer they need. After all, she is someone who returned dragons to the world, these magical creatures he had only read about & believed to be extinct. Not to mention that she commands the greatest amry in this sexist world, something almost every character who hears of her accomplishments is intrigued by.
With all that in mind, let’s breakdown 7x03 - The Queen’s Justice - Strangers/Foes to Potential Allies
Beginning : There are three conflicting feelings he starts out with which stand in his way of a successful military alliance.
Intimidation - After countless warnings and reminders of the magnitude of the danger he is putting himself in, the Dothraki seizing his weapons & boat makes him paranoid that he might be a prisoner. Drogon’s little welcome must have been terrifying for someone seeing a dragon for the first time & Dany’s introduction was too intimidating, regal & formal.
Attraction - Jon was visibly shaken after seeing her for the first time and by Kit’s own admission, he wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful and of the same age. It added a positive note for a moment during their small talk. But maybe this pushed him to cling onto his other two emotional responses harder, since he couldn’t afford to have a crush at such an inopportune time.
Bias - As soon as the difference in their political goals is introduced and she insists he bends the knee (my meta on both their perspectives on bending the knee), there is a rift between the two - coldness & formality - as they push each other’s buttons to get the other to submit & get behind their respective agenda 100% with no compromise. Not to mention, growing up as a bastard surrounded by arrogant Highborns & not knowing Dany’s journey and everything she went through to earn her titles, her claims make her seem like another privileged Highborn on a throne from his perceptive.
Looking into the Mirror : Jon’s first attempt at pushing her buttons involves reminding her of the things her father did to his family due to which she can’t lord his ancestor’s vow over him. “Break faith? Your father burned my grandfather alive. He burned my uncle alive. He would have burned the Seven Kingdoms–”
I’m sure he expected pushback, instead she apologises “My father…was an evil man. On behalf of House Targaryen…I ask your forgiveness for the crimes he committed against your family. And I ask you not to judge a daughter by the sins of her father.” Not only did the apology shatter his first impression & bias a little but her her words mirror his own & appeal to who he is deep down as a person. ( Gif : @midqueenally)
Together : She extends an olive branch and offers him some hope that maybe he really can convince her to join his cause, “Together, we will save this country from those who would destroy it.” This is when Jon presents a counter offer of his own which backfires a little, “Because I need your help, and you need mine.”
Gaining Perceptive/Humanising Insight:
Despite Dany’s reminder of the size of her armed forces, Jon for the first time tries to gain perceptive on Dany & her moral compass in terms of why she doesn’t use her army to sack King’s Landing while still remaining mostly sceptical about her, “at the very least, you’re better than Cersei.” But Jon’s pitch isn’t very articulate and has two issues:
He makes her feel like he’s being condescending when he says, “we’re children playing at a game, screaming thatthe rules aren’t fair.” A mistake he soon understands when Dany tells Tyrion, “and now he’s calling me a child.”
He tries being direct, “Your Grace, everyone you know will die before winter’s over…” but as he talks about the army of the dead, he soon realises that he sounds like a mad man to these people but he sticks to it.
In season 3, Mance Rayder told Jon that it was impossible to unite the Wildlings until, “I told them we are all going to die if we don’t go down south.” In every doomed negotiation, this is how Jon closes the deal but it doesn’t work at all with Dany. These two have an ‘unstoppable force meets an immovable object’ grade conflict and Dany tells him that she is not some naive Targaryen princess. She tells him about everything she had to go through to get where she is and why she has little to no faith in myths & legends. To her benefit, even Jon was sceptical about dragons until he saw one with his own eyes. Her candid disclosure of all her hardships, adds to a shift in his bias for a moment.
Undoing : Being backed into a corner by her & Tyrion into a political debate which is mostly handled by Davos, Jon clings even harder to his preconceived notions “I mean no offence, Your Grace, but I don’t know you. As far as I can tell, your claim to the throne rests entirely on your father’s name, and my own father fought to overthrow the Mad King.” Just like that she is once again ‘The Mad King’s daughter’ and he pushed away whatever insight he gained into her earlier when there was hope of forming an alliance. When she excuses them, the thought of being a prisoner returns and he walks away clinging harder to the intimidating & biased first impression.
This is evident by his talk with Tyrion later when he’s brooding & regretting his decision to come to Dragonstone. “Everyone told me to learn from my father’s mistakes. Don’t go south. Don’t answer a summons from the Mad King’s daughter, a foreign invader. And here I am, a Northern fool.” At this point, he doesn’t see any hope for an alliance or any good in Daenerys as a person despite Tyrion’s advice that he should consider talking to the people on the island to form a more informed opinion on Daenerys or try a more reasonable approach to forming an alliance.
Recovery & Jonerys Theme: This time Jon approaches her with casual conversation about something that fascinates him, like dragons and they do connect for a moment until once again their opposing political views come up. But what changes everything, is Dany’s peace offering, “I will allow you to mine the dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you.”
This is the moment when Jonerys theme plays for the first time, focusing on Jon’s face and you truly see something stir within Jon, “Thank you. So you believe me, then, about the Night King and the Army of the Dead?” It’s the first time ever in a while that Jon seems hopeful, for a chance for survival & an alliance. Considering the prejudices that he was clinging onto, the generosity takes him by surprise and in this instance those prejudices faint. He might not completely trust her, know her or like her but now he’s not clouded by the bias he began this journey with, which now leaves him with three things…attraction, hope & frustration that she still doesn’t believe him.
Environment : It’s so interesting that when the tension develops & builds between these two, they meet in a dark throne room, surrounded by advisers & guards. Dany is sitting on a throne & immersed in her hardened queenly persona & he is a defiant & challenging warrior on a mission. The conflict resolves out in the open, yet they have privacy. The surroundings beautiful & bright, just two Targaryens watching dragons fly into the horizon as the sun sets. Dany gentle & Jon defeated, stripped of their hardened exteriors. What’s more interesting is that they both had to descend stairs in both these scenes, Dany descends from the throne to come down to Jon’s level in order to help him understand her and Jon descends stairs in the second scene to once again try to reason with her.
7X04 - The Spoils of War - Potential Ally to Part of the inner circle
Hope - Not only did he discover a mountain of dragonglass, enough ammunition to arm everyone but he also found proof for the existence of White Walkers, to help him make a reasonable & legitimate case this time as Tyrion suggested after his first failed attempt.
Mission to change her political goals: This time he has a strategy, and after learning that they communicate better privately, he takes her into the cave alone to present the proof and convince her to join his fight.
Fighting attraction : Despite Jon’s efforts to focus on the task at hand, as his biases & prejudices slip away, it becomes visibly harder for him to pretend that he doesn’t feel attracted to her.
Unanticipated bubble of Intimacy - The cave scene is one of most emotionally charged scenes and most of the intimacy comes from chemistry rather than dialogue. I’m sure Jon expected that he would need to work harder to convince her but she is instantly fascinated by the cave paintings, “They were right here,standing where we’re standing. Before there were Targaryens,or Starks or Lannisters. Maybe even before there were men.” The previous episode, he gains some insight into her when he realises that she doesn’t want to sack King’s Landing or when she offers him dragonglass or when Tyrion adds a bit of doubt that he should try forming his own opinion on her. He might not be burdened by the prejudices of Mad King’s daughter & foreign invader, but he still only knows her as the Dragon Queen and so far he has only gained faint insight into her political/moral code. But this particular moment is very endearing & humanising, she’s just a beautiful girl in dim lighting, alone with him in a cave who turns out to be a history nerd. I don’t think Jon expected her to be interested in what he had to show her so easily and it does put him at ease around her. (Gif : @Mhysaofdragons)
Which brings us to this moment, this is the first time he felt comfortable enough to enter her personal space & touch her. Their interaction so far had been very formal. This is a crucial moment, she is no more someone he is intimidated by or carries major prejudices against and she is not even just the Dragon Queen. His body language is much more relaxed & casual in her presence and this subconscious action, clearly marks a shift in their dynamic. (Gif : @Mhysaofdragons)
Together: “They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences,despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we are gonna survive. Because the enemy is real. It’s always been real.” He makes his pitch once again after showing her the proof for the existence of White Walkers and his wording is telling of his own feeling, “Despite their differences,despite their suspicions.” This is less of an assessment of first men & children of the forest and more of a projection, he still doesn’t agree with her politics, he doesn’t care about the Seven Kingdoms or the Iron Throne or her conquest, his only mission in life is winning the Great War & protecting the living from the dead.
Also even though he has gained humanising insight into her & most of his prejudices have slipped away, he is still suspicious of her & doesn’t trust her. But an interesting observation is how deep & masculine his voice is while making the pitch & how soft & feminine her is, which is a subconscious change which talking to someone you feel attracted towards.
He once again urges her to fight with him, much more humbly than last time. There is no arrogant & challenging declarations like “Because I need your help,and you need mine.” This time when she asks him, “And you say can’t defeat them without my armies and my dragons.” He honestly confesses, “No, I don’t think I can.” He put his faith in her, now that he knows her better, and shows her his cards, hoping she would do the right thing.
Jonerys Theme: When Dany closes the distance between them the Jonerys theme music plays, once again focusing on Jon who looks visibly smitten, so this is a turning point for him just as the moment from previous episode when Dany offers him the dragonglass, the theme plays & his prejudices begin to slip away. So what changes this time?
She offers him everything that he wanted, “I will fight for you. I will fight for the North. When you bend the knee.” But she expects him to support her goals in return. The remarkable thing is that this time the difference in their politics doesn’t lead to a rift of an argument and neither does he become detached & cold like he did when she brought it up in the previous episode. “My people won’t accept a southern ruler. Not after everything they have suffered.” He expresses his only reservation, staying humble and maintaining a gentle & kind tone. So here’s the switch, he isn’t entirely against her goals or politics, now that he knows that she’s a Queen who cares & is prepared to fight the Great War together. In her softest tone, she addresses him as a King for the first time, “They will if their King does.” This moment marks a big change for their dynamic because in this moment she is no longer an ambitious Highborn with opposing political goals but an ally who is prepared to do the right thing & who treats him as an equal.
Looking into the Mirror : There are two crucial moments this episode points out their mirroring journeys:
“They chose you to lead them. They chose you to protect them. Isn’t their survival more important than your pride?” Dany’s appeal strongly resonates with what Jon once said to Mance in another life when Mance’s stubbornness to bend the knee & make peace lead to the demise of his people. Jon was visibly shaken up the moment she says the words. I’m sure they reminded him of who he once was. (Gif : @midqueenally)
When they leave the cave and the situation suddenly shifts to that of political unreast. Enraged, Dany decides to take matters into her own hands & put an end to Cersei. She says something that strongly resonates with what Jon said to Ramsey before the Battle of Bastards after he too proposed to put an end to the war by settling it in single combat with Ramsey. (Gif : @midqueenally)
Environment : Much like the previous episode, here too there is a transition from a dark setting to a bright setting but it has a reverse effect. This time they had privacy, resolution & intimacy in the dark cave and as they emerge into the bright beach, they are surrounded by advisers and political differences are brought to light to once again create a rift between them emotionally.
It’s also interesting that it was Jon who was leading Dany into the cave when he was convincing her to join him to fight the Great War & on the beach, it is Dany who is leading them when Jon is roped into her war council.
Invitation to Inner circle & Undoing :
When Dany puts him on the spot & asks him for his advice, unlike everyone else on his council, he doesn’t tell her what to do. As a leader he knows how counter productive that can be sometimes, so he lays out his thoughts to diffuse her anger and let her make her own decision.
“I never thought that dragons would exist again. No one did. The people who follow you know that you made something impossible happen. Maybe that helps them believe that you can make other impossible things happen.” Now Jon still doesn’t know why the her people follow her or of all the things she did in Essos to inspire that faith but as a stranger he tries to guess based on what he feels about her. Witnessing the existence dragons fills him with wonder and she gives him hope that things he earlier considered impossible, like defeating the Night King are possible now with the power she commands.
“Build a world that’s different from the shit one they’ve always known.” He doesn’t know about her plans to break the wheel & change the feudal system through which high lords trample over the common people as they play their game of thrones, but from the insight he has gained, he can understand that she is not in it for selfish ambition and there is more to her agenda which he might not fully understand. Thus, he doesn’t oppose & detest her political goals at this point and shares his faith in the good he thinks she is capable of doing in the world.
“But if you use them to melt castles and burn cities, you’re not different, you’re just more of the same.” But here’s the suspicion & prejudice peeking through, the emotional charge going from positive to negative, as opposed to the last episode. He shares the hope & faith that he has in her but there is still doubt that she just might be like all the other contenders for the Iron Throne before her who accomplished nothing but wreak havoc in Westeros and leave the country broken & vulnerable when winter was coming.
Much like his scene with Tyrion in which he is brooding on a cliff in the previous episode, a shift happens for him with his scene with Davos & Missandei this episode. Even though he brushes away Davos’s observation of the longing looks Jon gives Dany, his confession, “I think she has a good heart,” points that despite the doubt he still holds onto as the conclusion on the last scene hints, he believes in her after she promised to fight for the North if he supports her as well.
He even takes Tyrion’s advise from the previous episode, “Daenerys could have sailed for Westeros long ago, but she didn’t. Instead, she stayed where she was and saved many people from horrible fates, some of whom are on this island with us right now. While you’re our guest here, you might consider asking them what they think of the Mad King’s daughter.” He asks Missandei, “Why did you leave your homeland?“ and when he finds out about Missandei’s past and her faith in Dany, it’s the first time he catches a glimpse of Dany’s role in the liberation of Slaver’s Bay even though he doesn’t know the full picture.
“All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She’s not our Queen because she’s the daughter of some king we never knew. She is the Queen we chose.” Missandei’s words have a huge impact on him as this is what he felt about Dany’s claim when they first met, “As far as I can tell, your claim to the throne rests entirely on your father’s name,” and the knowledge that the greatest army in the world which she commands doesn’t care much for her father surprises him because he doesn’t know that the Dothraki follow strength above all & the Unsullied follow her because she freed them from slavers. He might not know everything about her but now he knows that there is a bigger reason behind the loyalty she inspires, than her dragons filling people with wonder or her family name.
Positive charge - The episode ends with Jon addressing her as the “The Queen” when he’s talking to Theon. (“The Queen is gone.”)
7X05 - Eastwatch - The emotional roller coaster
Beginning : This episode begins with Jon in awe of witnessing Dany riding her dragon as she returns from battle.
Jonerys Theme : A rider’s bond with their dragon is one of the strongest relationships in a dragon rider’s life and Dany is their mother as well. Symbolically, the dragons have been an extension of Dany & her inner strength and her relationship with them is strongly tied to her character arc. “Who would ever dare to love a dragon?” is a powerful Daenerys quote from the books. It’s interesting that Drogo loved her when her dragon eggs hadn’t hatched & Dany hadn’t come into her own or embraced her inner strength. She started a relationship with Daario right after she locked up her dragons & Drogon ran away from home. It was a time in her life when she was felt lost in her attempt to fit into the persona of the queen of Meereen & negotiate with slavers. When she finally embraced the dragon within her and burnt the temple of Dosh Khaleen, that’s when Drogon finally let Dany mount him & her relationship with Daario crumbled soon after. (Gif: joneryssnowstorm)
Keeping that in mind, the symbolism is really powerful when Jon, despite shaking like a leaf, stands his ground when a fully grown & mounted Drogon approaches him. He dares to show love to a dragon instead of feeling intimidated. Jon, unlike most men, doesn’t feel insecure in the presence of a powerful woman nor is he intimidated. Instead he is fascinated and in awe and his first instinct is to touch Drogon, just as he dared to make an ally of Dany when everyone in his life was terrified of letting him walk into the dragon’s den, asking for help. When Jon touches Drogon & Drogon accepts him, that’s when the Jonerys theme plays and even though the camera moves to a surprised Daenerys for a moment, the focus is on Jon drinking in this surreal moment & Drogon accepting him. Jon doesn’t just find Dany attractive, intriguing & inspiring but he is also fascinated by the part of her which the world fears - the dragon.
Unexpected emotional responses :
1. To Jon, the dragons represent hope in the form of miraculous weapons to destroy the Night king’s army. Dany is offended by his comment on their lack of beauty or him calling them beasts. “They’re not beasts to me. No matter how big they get or how terrifying to everyone else, they’re my children.” This is the first time he truly understand what they really mean to her & how maternal she truly is, and this is man who has wanted nothing more than a maternal figure and felt that lack deeply in his life. So I’m sure no one can appreciate, her strong maternal bond with her dragons, more than him.
2. In the script this particular moment was described as, “He watches her watching her Dragons and wishes that he could keep looking at her and forget about the world events weighing on his shoulders.”
You can see him instantly shrug it off as tries to fight the thought. He is so desperate to feel anything but this that for the first time, he initiates a political discussion. He hates being backed into any discussion of the conquest usually but now he initiates it, even though she doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he just wants to cling onto something that would help him keep a distance. Not only is he unable to butt heads with her but her confession, “We both want to help people. We can only help them from a position of strength. Sometimes strength is terrible,“ leaves him with a newfound outlook on power.
3. Now that Jon doesn’t know what he feels about her battle and the discussion leads to Battle of Bastards, Dany remembers what Ser Davos said about Jon’s death. Now Jon is faced with a new emotional turmoil, he clearly isn’t ready to talk about it or acknowledge it but he also can’t lie to her when she asks, “So, it was a figure of speech?” Jorah’s entrance saves him.
4. Lord Commander Mormont told Jon about how Jorah brought dishonour to their family by selling slaves so he is already a bit weary of the guy when he finds out that he is her adviser. But then Dany hugs Jorah, even though she usually maintains some amount of formality with most people in her life, this uncharacteristically intimate treatment towards someone he believes to be dishonourable by the woman he feels attracted to, draws a jealous response. (Gif : mhysaofdragons)
Disaster - Jon is good at a lot of things but this stoic Northerner is not used to dealing with emotions and considering everything the last scene stirred up, finding out that Bran & Arya are alive & in Winterfell & the army of the dead is marching on Eastwatch, pushes him over the edge. (Dany still doesn’t understand the magnitude of the White Walker threat as someone who has only heard about them & seen a drawing but she knows if she marches North, the Kingdoms that supported her would become vulnerable & at the risk of turning into warzones. Dorne could be looted & raided just as Highgarden. There needs to be peace in the Seven Kingdoms before she leaves). When Jorah volunteers to heroically catch a zombie alone, to ‘serve Dany’, Jon declares, “I’m the only one here who’s fought them. I’m the only one here who knows them.” Until Jorah volunteers, all he wanted to do was go back to Winterfell & work on building their defences but he’s spiralling emotionally and thus the disastrous idea of the Wight Hunt is born.
Undoing - In the scripts this is how the undertone of the scene is set by the writers: “Jon’s and Dany’s argument has the undertone of a woman trying to keep her man from venturing into harm’s way.” So when she says, “I haven’t given you permission to leave,” she doesn’t want him to go on this dangerous mission he might not return from but Jon in his emotional state reads it as Dany trying to command him as someone like Jorah, who has bent his knee to her & accepted her as his queen. “With respect, Your Grace,I don’t need your permission. I am a king. And I came here knowing that you could have your men behead me or your dragons burn me alive.” He didn’t see her face when she says he can’t leave but as he soon notices that she is worried about him, he tries to put it gently, “ I put my trust in you, a stranger, because I knew it was the best chance for my people, for all our people. Now I’m asking you to trust in a stranger… because it’s our best chance.”
Environment - This time their scenes moves from a bright & private setting of intimacy to a dark setting of political conflict, shifting the emotional charge from positive to negative. But thankfully the farewell on the bright beach flips it once again.
Resolution - Considering the defiant & negative note they left their discussion on earlier and knowing that he might never see her again, Jon tries to make light of the situation, “If I don’t return, at least you won’t have to deal with the King in the North anymore.” But when Dany stops messing around and says, “I’ve grown used to him.” which is described as ‘a private goodbye in a public space’ in the scripts, Jon does what he does best…raise his walls and embrace the Stark stoicism & icy resolve. He uses the Westerosi phrase which has always had a finality to it & the ring of a final goodbye since he is leaving for a life threatening mission & his homeland is awaiting a zombie apocalypse, “I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Your Grace.” He doesn’t even turn back because farewells are easier that way for people who don’t like indulging in emotions. The Jonerys theme plays for the second time this episode when he leaves, but for the first time this season, the focus is entirely on Dany.
7x06 - Beyond the Wall - Falling in Love
Beginning : After a few weeks travelling, bonding with Jorah & Tormund’s reminder that the habit of not kneeling which Jon picked up during his time with the freefolk is futile since Mance’s ego got his people killed, helps Jon see things more clearly. The moment the wight hunt fails & they are surrounded by the army of dead, Jon’s first instinct is to get a raven to Dany. He still doesn’t know her completely and still doubts her but I think he threw a hail mary pass hoping the positive insight he gained on her are right & his doubts are wrong.
The moment Jon fell in love - The save :
This is the exact moment when Jon Snow knew he was going to die and it’s not even going to be a clean death, he’ll be devoured by a group of zombies just as the guy he couldn’t save from falling over the cliff & into the hoard, leaving his people defenceless to share the same fate. Asking Dany for help was a long shot at best, considering how they left things. I’m sure he was mostly certain she wouldn’t come to fight an unplanned mystical battle in unfamiliar lands just to save his life. She had nothing to gain from it and everything to lose.
Moments later, when he’s ready to die, Dany shows up. Jon, who was fascinated by watching a Targaryen mounting a dragon for the first time in centuries, gets to actually witness the Dragon Queen in action, destroying his greatest fear, the army of the dead. After a moment of shock, this is how he reacts. It’s not just being overwhelmed by the the godlike power she commands in this moment but all doubt crumbles and the faith she faintly inspired in him earlier grows exponentially. This is the moment Jon fell in love!
When Dany extends her hand to him, the look on her face says it loud & clear that she just came here to save him and as someone who is used to constantly putting himself in danger to protect everyone else, I don’t think he expected someone to do the same for him. You do see him reaching out & wanting nothing more than to fly away with her but on instinct he keeps the wights at bay as his suicide squad boards the dragon first.
The previous episode he found out what the dragons mean to her, that she considers them her children and not beasts so after realising that she came here just to save him & ended up losing a child, has a very visceral reaction from him. He saw her right before he turns in this scene & that’s why when he notes that the Night King is aiming for another dragon, he wants them to leave without him because he doesn’t want to cause her any more pain. It also explains why, Jon being Jon, feels guilty & regrets his decision to go North later.
This save does parallel with the Battle of Bastards in some ways, in his most emotional moment when he abandons his battle strategy in a suicidal move & charges at Ramsey’s army alone, the people who love & follow him abandon strategy & reason as well to march into certain death just to protect him. Dany going against all reason & Tyrion’s advise resonated with what was my favourite scene from BoB, when Jon takes out his sword & is prepared to die but his army is besides him to his surprise. There was a beauty in that moment, for the love his people have for him and when Jon claws his way out of the clutches of death and wants to live, that very moment the knights of the Vale show up for a deus ex machina trope save to finish off the battle, leaving him free to go back to reclaim his childhood home Winterfell. In a similar manner Uncle Bejen shows up to tackle with the zombies(I don’t think he died though because the children of the forest put a dragonglass in his chest to turn him into what he is much like they did with the NK), leaving Jon free to go back to the woman he loves and he does make a move on her soon after waking up.
When Jon wakes up on the boat, Dany is sitting vigil by his bedside, in tears, consumed by grief. It is the moment he really gets to meet Dany, stripped of her queenly persona. She’s not wearing any of her Targaryen accessories and Jon is stark naked underneath the fur, how fitting for a wolf? At this point, Dany too had her falling in love moment when he returned alive & she finally saw his scars, along with the truth of everything he went through to defend the living from the dead.
Brush with Death - He almost died, Dany saved him at a great cost, he watched a dragon die - an invincible force he was sure would defeat the Night King & Jon finally met & lost Uncle Bejen once again. An experience that profound, shakes a person’s priorities, helps them see things more clearly & realise how short life really is when any day could be your last. Not to mention he has tasted death before.
Need to comfort her - At this point, she is a woman he believes in, admires and is in love with, so when he wakes up to find her in tears, he doesn’t care about formality and takes her hard. It was a very strong subconscious instinct.
Gratitude & Guilt - This stranger whom he doubted and left things on such a defiant note, saved his life and she’s in tears because she lost a child because of it. Jon apologises, shares his regret and wishes, “I wish I could take it back.” Anyone would be overwhelmed by gratitude by a gesture like that but it could be argued that he doesn’t need to feel guilty. He shouldn’t be but that’s just who Jon is as a person, so he will be consumed by guilt & feel responsible for her grief, for a while.
He gets to learn a lot of intimate things about Dany as a person:
Selflessness : Dany knows that he sacrificed his life to do the right thing & she just watched him die before he came back. She respects him for that & feels guilty about not believing him before, so she lets go of his hand & relieves him of his guilt, “I don’t. If we hadn’t gone I wouldn’t have seen. You have to see it to know. Now I know.” The dragons were an extension of her & her strength, they are her children and until Viserion died, they were invincible so this is Dany’s weakest moment. I don’t think Jon expected this level of selflessness in her weakest moment. He is not to blame but he feels responsible for her pain, and a mother’s grief is usually less forgiving, even Catelyn was bitter & cruel to him for no reason when Bran was in a coma. But it surprises him that she holds no regrets & grudges, well except for the Night King, as she later discloses.
Infertility : Dany confesses one of her most intimate secrets, to help him understand the magnitude of what the Night King took from her, “The dragons are my children. They’re the only children I’ll ever have.” But she doesn’t stop there, she asks him, “Do you understand?” This is crucial because a woman’s ability to bear children is the greatest measure of how suitable she is for marriage in the patriarchal world of Westros and thanks to Jon’s longing looks, Tyrion’s observation & hand holding, she knows he’s interested in her, so this is also a crucial disclosure.
Together : “We are going to destroy the Night King and his army. And we’ll do it together. You have my word.” This promise fulfils the goals Jon set out with when the season started, to convince her to fight for the North, with absolutely no expectations of supporting her in the fulfilment for her lifelong goal of restoring House Targaryen’s legacy. But weirdly, it does something else for Jon as well, it makes him respect & accept her as a leader.
A glimpse of her dark past : “Thank you, Dany.” “Dany… Who was the last person who called me that? I’m not sure, is it my brother? Not the company you want to keep.” Any good listener would know the dark connotations of this sentence and how sad it is for someone with an unstable childhood in exile with just one person to call family, her dead brother. Creator Benioff commented on this scene “I don’t think either one of them really knew exactly how powerful their feelings were towards each other until these moments. Just the notion of falling for someone, that involves weakness, it’s not something a queen does. But she feels that happening and he feels it happening for her.” So it’s profound that not only did Jon feel at ease to break the formality & hold her hand to comfort her but call her with an endearing nickname, Dany instead of Your Grace or even Daenerys.
Politics & Jonerys Theme - Until now Jon never initiated a political dialogue with her and everytime he was roped into a conversation about politics, he always had a very negative reaction. He didn’t want to think about the Seven Kingdoms or the future plans for governance or who rules outside the North after the Great War. Now he has finally found a leader worth believing in, someone who cares, someone whose moral code aligns with his, an equal and someone who gives him hope that they could actually win this fight.
“How about My Queen? I’d… bend the knee but…” he pledges his loyalty to her in a gravelly bedroom voice and the Jonerys theme music plays and keeps rolling until the scene closes, so him professing her his queen has strong romantic undertones of wanting something more than a political/military alliance.
“What about those who allegiance to you?” Dany wonders since that was the only reservation Jon expressed the last time she offered to fight for the North if he bent the knee. She has a hard time understanding why he wants to bend the knee now when she has already agreed to join the fight.
“They’ll all come to see you for what you are.” This says more about Jon than Northeners. Until now he had his prejudices & doubts about her and wasn’t sure if he could explain bending the knee to her in exchange for her support in the Great War but now that he has come to see who she really is and she inspires loyalty in him, he can stand upto anyone who says otherwise and actually make them understand.
This is Dany’s weakest moment, she lost a dragon and just realised the magnitude of the threat she was denying. She is not sure of herself as a leader and I’m sure she too feels guilty about not believing Jon earlier, she should’t but that’s just who she is as a person. It’s an interesting moment, he believes in her more than she believes in herself and this time she reaches out to seek comfort and assurance, “I hope I deserve it,” and he does assure her.
Jon makes the move - As inopportune a moment it may be, this is the first time in his life that he made a move on a woman & went after his heart’s desire. So maybe it’s the brush with death, a strong need to comfort her & wanting to be comforted, the new & confusing feelings he’s tired of fighting and the intimate moment, but he goes for it. It’s subtle gesture, he just tugs at her hand and urges her to stay with that longing gaze but she gets uncomfortably flustered and walks away.
Conclusion - I wouldn’t call this an undoing & resolution because there wasn’t really a conflict/disaster or a resolution for it. The emotional charge was very positive when he made the move but they momentarily had an awkward situation which both of them wanted to quickly escape from, Jon by pretending to sleep & Dany by walking away flustered but he doesn’t feel rejected. I think they both understood that it was bad timing, since she was grieving and he was recovering from a near death experience. But the emotional charge stays positive in the end as well - Dany, unlike her previous conversation with Tyrion,now knows with absolute certainty that Jon desires her & Jon is left with longing…
7x06 - The Dragon & The Wolf - Courtship
Beginning : End of previous episode, Jon finally came to terms with what he truly wants & sets his mind to go after it but Dany was grief struck and in a very emo place. Jon was left with longing for her and from what the narrative for this episode suggests, she hasn’t met or spoken to him or anyone else since their awkward moment on the ship. It makes sense that she clung only to her dragons in her grief & was avoiding everyone else. Considering the multiple voyages - Eastwatch to Dragonstone & Dragonstone to King’s Landing, it would seem like Jon hasn’t seen her in a few weeks so his reaction to Dany arriving at Dragon Pit with her dragons was quite endearing and telling.
He even waits for his Queen to be seated first because he’s a chivalrous gentleman. Let the courtship begin…
Goal: Jon takes the lead of the peace talks, where the endgame is to ensure the South doesn’t reduce to a warzone once it’s not under Dany’s protection & Dany marches North. I know it doesn’t work on Cersei but from Jon’s perspective, he is trying to help them understand the magnitude of the threat lurking beyond the wall and why peace is a necessity as internal warfare at this point would only weaken the position of the living & leave more corpses to be raised by the Night King.
Moment of truth : This is a very crucial moment for Jon & Dany’s dynamic, less romantically & more politically, as their goals finally align. “The crown accepts your truce. Until the dead are defeated, they are the true enemy. In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides.” Which leads us to this iconic moment.
“I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen.” He could have simply agreed to Cersie’s terms, he hadn’t formally bent the knee on the ship and Dany neither cared for it at this point nor had she taken his previous pledge seriously considering the circumstances surrounding it, she didn’t even share the information even with Tyrion. It would have benefited him to agree. Even though Cersei was just playing them, if he agreed to back off, assured that the South wasn’t left vulnerable for war & plunder, Dany would have marched North with him. And if they survived, he would be under no obligation to help Dany in any way politically.
Jon’s Reason : So why did he do it? Even Dany can’t figure it out when she walks upto him in tears, “I’m grateful for your loyalty, but my dragon died so that we could be here. If it’s all for nothing, then he died for nothing.” And it’s clear that Jon still carries the guilt because he can’t even bring himself to face her when she’s in pain and he feels like he disappointed them all.
But after Tyrion’s prodding, he states his reason “I’m not going to swear an oath I can’t uphold.” So there we have it, he literally can’t bring himself to let her fend for herself in the fulfilment of her goals after the sacrifice she made for him and pledged all her military resources to defend the North. If they survive winter, she is the leader he believes in and that’s why he swears fealty to her.
The Beginnings of a Relationship
The private moment these two share in a corner of the dragonpit is their softest & most profound moment which moves this dynamic in the territory of a relationship. In terms of the environment, it’s symbolic that they found an intimate corner in a literal political arena. Of all the disagreements & arguments they’ve had throughout the season, no matter how polite, this one seems different because it rests on the foundation of mutual respect, admiration and partnership.
Admiration : When Jon was off sulking in a corner with the bones of tiny dragons, all angsty and guilty over the mess they were in, “No one is less happy about this than I am.” Instead of blaming him or lying to him to make him feel better, Dany respectfully disagrees in a way which is usually expected from mature people in healthy long term relationships, “I know. I respect what you did. Wish you hadn’t done it, but I respect it.” It’s not something you expect from such young people in such an early phase in their relationship. She too admires him & his moral code and I think getting to know that puts Jon at ease.
Dany is still very emo, she isn’t in a strong place after losing one of her dragons who have always been the metaphors for her strength and she’s crippled by self doubt. For the first time since her dragons were born, her faith in her goal to restore her House to it’s former glory is wavering and that’s why she talks of the demise of her family after their dragons wasted away. “We weren’t extraordinary without them. We were just like everyone else.” That’s the beauty of these two, when she’s in a place of self doubt, she inspires the most faith & admiration in him. “You’re not like everyone else,” in conclusion, he thinks she’s extraordinary.
Dany’ s goals - Future for House Targaryen : As the last Targaryen, she has being carrying the weight of restoring her House’s legacy and personally she wants to leave the world better than she found it even if her house ends with her. Now that Jon believes in her as a leader and has pledged himself to her, he shows his support for her goals. “And your family hasn’t seen its end. You’re still here.” She reminds him that she can’t leave someone to carry her legacy if she fails to fulfil her goals & restore her House to it’s former glory, “I can’t have children.” I think Jon is intuitive enough to understand what she’s going through because he too has felt hopelessness & his faith in his goals waver. Jon’s body language approaching her is simply so charged in terms of showing his burning desire for her, it immerses them well into the intimate bubble the scene is pulling them into. (Gif : dragon-princess)
Intention to Court : Jon’s objection to Dany’s belief in her infertility curse points to something interesting. “Has it occurred to you she might not have been a reliable source of information?” Now this is intriguing, because Jon has strayed from intimacy for a good part of his life out of fear of fathering bastards but not only does he pursue her for an intimate relationship but he also doesn’t have faith in the infertility curse & he just gave her hope for the future of House Targaryen.
An important thing to keep in mind, this is not the modern world of dating & taking things slow, marriage is an immediate endgame to romantic courtship especially among people of such stature… Starks especially, Robb married Talisa immediately after they had sex for the first time even though it weakened him politically, here there is love & a successful military alliance. The Jonerys theme playing when Jon asks, ”How about My Queen?” is no coincidence, he is courting her & wants a future. The writers even planted the seeds of foreshadowing up in the North as well through Littlefinger so it doesn’t come as a total surprise when these two reach Winterfell next season. (Gif : jonerysonline)
Jon’s Goals - Great War : Dany makes a heart warming confession, “You were right from the beginning. If I had trusted you, everything would be different.” This is the kind of credit Jon almost never receives & it’s a nice closure to his concern end of their first episode together, “So you believe me, then, about the Night King and the Army of the Dead?”
Jon being Jon stays humble and focuses on the future, “So, what now?” and Dany tells him how shaken up she is about her experience beyond the wall, “I can’t forget what I saw north of the Wall. And I can’t pretend that Cersei won’t take back half the country the moment I march north.” It’s a valid military dilemma, to leave the people of Highgarden & Dorne vulnerable for war to fight the scariest army in the world. She has already promised that she would help him destroy the Night King, so Jon neither pushes her nor invalidates her concerns but tries to lighten the mood. “It appears Tyrion’s assessment was correct. We’re fucked.” (Gif : jonerysonline) And look at that satisfied smile when he makes her smile.
Resolution : Cersei’s offer for truce & her forces, despite being false, puts him at ease and the good thing for these two, for the very first time, the King & the Queen stand together both politically & emotionally…with all their goals aligned. (Gif : joneryssnowstorm)
Together : It’s good from a diplomatic standpoint as well but this is the closest thing to asking a girl out in Jon Snow’s playbook, “It’s your decision, Your Grace. But if we’re going to be allies in this war, it’s important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message.” He loves this woman, he wants her like he’s never wanted anyone & he’s very sweetly courting her but now that all their goals align, there’s not a single unresolved conflict between them & they are marching into a battle they might not survive, so for the first time in his life, Jon seizes the moment! (Gif : jondaenerysdaily)
“I’ve not come to conquer the North. I’m coming to save the North. We sail together.” By the look on her face, it seems like she understands & just agreed to go out with him…on a ship! (Gif :jondaenerysdaily)
Consummation - Jonerys Theme
From a writing standpoint, Rhaegar & Lyanna aren’t technically characters, they are plot devices for Jon’s story, which is why their actions & motivations don’t always make sense and the second hand account of their relationship changes with the plot’s requirement. This particular scene serves two purposes : reveal Jon’s parentage & the consummation of Jon & Dany’s relationship and there’s a crosscut to draw a parallel and give words to describe Jon & Dany’s romance which goes beyond words… their silence & gazes have a language of their own. It makes a powerful statement about Jon’s intentions when we witness one royal couple exchange wedding vows right before another consummates their relationship for the first time, considering the parallels drawn between the two dynamics.
The entire Jonerys theme plays for the first time after Jon’s shy & nervous knock and Bran narrates “He loved her. And she loved him,” when Dany opens the door. (Gif: dragon-princess)
The most crucial is when Jon pulls back to gaze into her eyes. This is the moment the magnitude of his feeling truly sinks in. He’s trying to fathom that this truly is reality, he wants to breathe in this surreal moment and etch this memory in this mind forever. So there we have it, Jon’s romantic quest comes to a beautiful climax, quite literally ;) (Gif : jonearys)
I was asked by someone to analyse boatsex as well but I wrote a very elaborate & smutty fanfic so sharing the link instead : The dragons dance at sea from dusk to dawn. I included my understanding of their thoughts & feelings and about what must be going through their minds in great detail, so have fun! Sorry about the delay & procrastination on this meta, hope you enjoyed it. I was feeling lazy but I pushed myself to finish it because I want to thank the Jonerys fam for my tiny blog just hitting 1k followers. I love you guys!
Note : I tried to include gif credits for all gifs but some I found on google which didn’t lead me to a blog so let me know in the comments if you know who I should credit for a gif missing credit.
