no™

let me live

[milcshq-blog]

rottenfrvit:

silas is none the wiser , there might be a part of him that just knows but it hardly makes a difference to him considering he ignores everything that might make him feel anything in the slightest. he leads miles to the parking lot where his jaguar was parked “ good then , i did. “ he pulls his keys out of the pocket of his swim trunks , unlocking the car door “ how was the shoot anyway ? “ he asks as he walks around to the driver side , raising eyebrows as he looks at the blonde over the hood before he was slipping into the front seat. “ better not get any sand in dad’s car. “ he smirks as he starts the car , engine rumbling to life.

     THE door is unlocked, like it almost always is. maybe a part of him doesn’t mind the idea of a random stranger ending him in his sleep, or maybe it's because he's come to spend most of his time at home, if he's not working. he pushes the door open and leaves it that way for silas to follow, already peeling the shirt off of his body on the way to the bathroom. "i'm taking a shower, make yourself comfortable." he mumbles tiredly, knowing silas will do just that whether he gives him the go ahead or not. "you know where everything is, so...do...whatever. don't care." 

[bangzchan]

[milcshq-blog]

rottenfrvit:

silas smirks as he hops up to his feet with the aid of his – boyfriend ? what were they ? what were they ever ? it was rare that he used the word boyfriend , he found it too restricting and if there was anything he was afraid of it was commitment. he reached out to brush a strand of blonde hair behind his ear “ i’d throw a thousand phones into the ocean if it meant you’d forgive me. “ he leans in and kisses him , some sort of gentleness to it. “ come on. “ he lets his hand drop , taking miles’ in his own and tugging him along towards the parking lot. “ you didn’t drive , did you ? “

     IT’S safer not to tell him that he’s far from being forgiven, so miles merely offers a shaky smile, his heart not really into the kiss. material things mean nothing to silas, just like empty words mean nothing to him. he instinctively intertwines their fingers as he’s pulled towards the parking lot, eyes staring at the back of his ex-boyfriend’s head. “no, i didn’t. the shoot was, like, a few blocks away, so...no point.” time goes by so slowly when he’s listening to the bullshit spewing from silas’ mouth that he almost forgot he even worked today. 

[milcshq-blog]

rottenfrvit:

something they have in common is their lack of eye contact , silas avoids it at all cost. it’s too real. he leans into the touches though , eyes shutting briefly as hands go into his hair. eyes flutter open again and he lifts a hand to cup miles’ cheek “ i know , i’m sorry. “ is he though ? if he was sorry , he wouldn’t keep doing it – right ? a smile quirks up at the kiss to the side of his lips , gaze rising as the blonde stands to his full height “ okay , to yours it is. “ he agrees , extending his hand out in a silent request for help up.

     MILES doesn’t register the apology, because it doesn’t take a genius to know that silas doesn’t mean it. if he did, they wouldn’t be having the same conversation every few weeks with no positive change at all. he sighs down at the boy as though debating whether or not to help him up, but at the end of the day, miles would do anything he asked, anything he wanted or needed. so he reaches out and pulls the other to his feet beside him. “sorry about your phone.”

[inkmagician]

Sorry for all the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening. Sorry for all the things I didn’t say when you were.

excerpt from LOVE LETTERS TO GHOSTS by Arlen C.  (via rottenfrvit)

[milcshq-blog]

rottenfrvit:

silas revels in the feeling of hands on his skin , miles’ hands , and a smirk lifts to his face as his lip is pulled on. there was something about miles , wasn’t there ? chances are the piece of shit would never admit to that , even to himself , but there had to be – right ? he wasn’t like this with anyone else , he didn’t try like he did with miles even if his version of trying wasn’t worth a shit. others were just faces , people he didn’t even know the names of , one night stands that he’d already forgotten , but miles stuck. he couldn’t get the blonde off his mind when they weren’t on good terms. “ always will be. “ he hardly realized those words might cause miles strife , saying them entirely oblivious. he hums a bit as a hand goes into his hair , a smile on his lips “ yours or mine ? “ he’d let him pick which bed , but either way he’d be in it.

     HE hates himself for giving in so easily but it's so familiar that he allows himself to feel good about it, content, hands pushing silas’ damp hair back from his face as he makes an effort not to look into his eyes. not just yet. always will be. of course he will. miles stopped hoping for anything different just recently, and there’s something relaxing about not having to worry about somebody changing, even if it is for the better. maybe the reason he sticks around is because he likes the consistency. “yeah, i know.” he agrees, leaning in to press his lips to the corner of silas’ mouth before he stands and takes a couple of steps back, brushing sand off of his body. “let’s go to mine.” he needs that, needs a bed untainted by anyone but them.

[milcshq-blog]

rottenfrvit:

a normal person might care about the way someone they seemed so close to thought , but even miles’ genuine agreement didn’t bother him. he smirks , mostly just glad he was winning “ let me. “ he coos , nudging his nose against the other’s “ let me take you home , baby. “ then they were kissing and silas was pleased that miles wasn’t shoving him away as he tightened his arms around his wait , dragging him even closer to him as he deepened it.

     EVEN as they kiss, he knows it’s stupid and yet he can’t stop his hands from rising up to rest either side of the male’s neck, can’t control the way he shifts in his arms so he can face him, or the way his teeth tug on silas’ bottom lip after he pulls his head away from the boy’s. he has him again, not for the first time, but something inside miles pleads with himself to make it the last, if he can. “you’re still an asshole.” he says carefully, sliding his hand up the side of his face and pushing it into his hair, his eyes following his own movements as he does so. “but take me home.”

[henrikholmhq]

[milcshq-blog]

smolsunspot:

“ still wrong. “ they sassed , dropping their eyes as their attitude faded. they always seemed to have bouts of sass , moments where they could catch an attitude but it never lasted for very long. “ i just guessed , because you don’t look old but you have to be older than eighteen since you’re calling me kid. “ they furrow their brow “ why am i being hypocritical ? i don’t act older than i am. “ they insist , facial expression shifting into one of irritation. “ don’t be a condescending jerk. “ alex glowers , pulling their hand away.

     “BUT not far off.” miles insists, throwing a playful glare their way. the other’s attitude impresses him so much that he’s almost proud, relaxing back onto his elbows. “wanna sit?” his hand pats the spot beside him. hopefully it’s not considered cruel if he doesn’t inform them of the potential photos swimming around the web if they agree to sit with him, because the blonde doesn’t plan on informing them. “alright, i’m sorry.” it’s not entirely honest, amusement still lacing his voice, but it’s all alexander is going to get.

[milcshq-blog]

smolsunspot:

alexander blinks bleary eyes at the other blonde as they touch him , recognizing him and relaxing. “ m-miles ? “ they lift a hand to rub at their eyes only to see blood on their hands and raise two shaky , bloody hands eye level. “ oh , oh , oh no , oh , what ? “ they didn’t understand. eyebrows furrow and they shake their head , but stop mid - shake to wince in pain. a soft squeak is given as miles lifts them in his arms , hands going to wrap around his neck tightly as he presses his face into his shoulder. “ no , please ! “ their voice breaks and they dig fingers into the fabric of the other’s shirt , leaning away to look at him “ no hospitals , please. “ they rasp , eyes wide and wet with tears threatening to overflow any second. “ it’s – it’s not so bad. “

     “YEP, it’s me. i’ve got you. don’t start panicking on me now, kid.” he manages to tease through his own urgent tone, standing around uncertainly with a tight grip on his friend. “i’m gonna...i have some stuff at my place. i’m gonna get you cleaned up and then take you home, okay? shit, what do people have for shock? sugar, i think. okay. i have sugar. tea. plenty of sugary shit. chocolate rolls. wafers. do you like pear drops? i have some of those.” despite the new weight he has to carry, miles pushes through and ducks into a side street, just about able to make out the door to his apartment. “i’m so sorry if this ends up all over the internet by tomorrow but i left my car at home this morning. are you okay? stupid question. hold on tight, yeah?” despite his constant self-reminders about how visibly panicking in front of somebody who clearly needs him not to panic isn’t the best way to stop them panicking, he can’t help it. he’s having second thoughts. the hospital would have been a better idea.

[milcshq-blog]

skylardesantis:

“um, excuse me, francisco lachowski. i forgot i can’t talk to you about this shit that ain’t dolce & gabbana.” they huffed, rolling their eyes at miles. “some of us don’t have enough dough for that kind of crap… also, i use the word swag, that should be enough. it’s so epic it has to live on somehow.”

     “I’M gonna take that as a compliment because, francisco lachowski? would go down on him. all day, every day, any day. thank you.” he wiggles his eyebrows playfully, his eyes still resting on the woman and her apparent swag. “oh, come on,” he pouts, as if offended. “you know i don’t shop at dolce & gabbana. i’m more of an american apparel guy myself.”

[milcshq-blog]

jayacker:

jayden cocked his head in confusion, clearly lost. “i’m fascinated by beaches myself. i love waves, i love the way water comes and goes. i like how it’s different from rivers and lakes, how it has unique species of fauna…” he sighed. “i’m aware i’m not going to convince you at this point, though. is there anything in your life you enjoy this much?”

     HE doesn’t expect a question, and especially not that one. “i like...” he frowns, wondering if it’s too weird, too cocky of him to say. “i like work.” he says it cautiously, almost as though he’s scared of being asked why and having to admit that it’s because he likes being liked.

[whissssperr]

[duerdenenest]

[biisousss]

[gasolinenfire]

@milcshq

[milcshq-blog]

smolsunspot:

alexander nods , wrapping arms around the towel and themselves “ not a kid. “ they nod their head once in confirmation. they try not to be a kid , but it’s true that they are very childlike and it’s not uncommon for people to mistake them for one. “ ‘m nineteen. how old are you ? twenty ? “ they grumble out , practically pouting which does nothing to help their case. “ young people act so old , it’s silly. “ they muse as they avert eyes until the other introduces himself “ oh , uh – i’m alexander. “ they inform the other , extending one hand and using the other to clutch the towel to their chest.

     "NINETEEN? so i wasn't really that off after all, was i?" he teases, holding their gaze, and reminds himself not to be too hard on them. for somebody who is only a year older, he can act plenty childlike himself. “i am twenty. good eye, i guess.” miles usually gets comments such as you look about sixteen, but he supposes his height tells a different story. “with a comment like that, i’d say you’re being a little hypocritical, don’t you think?” eyebrows raise at the criticism and he laughs a little. straightening up a little, he holds out his hand and shakes the other’s with a smile. “good to meet you, kid.”

[stevenjackie]

[gasolinenfire]

@milcshq