Napoleon's alleged esteem for his mother and women
Have you ever found weird that Napoleon put his "strong" and "masculine" mother on a pedestal yet despised strongheaded women as a whole?
I must warn you this is also going to be quite an anti-Letizia rant, I'm sick of her being over-glorified because of how ✨️pious✨️ and ✨️modest✨️ she was, or because of how her BIG red flags as a mother are framed as character-building and positive for Napoleon.
Usual disclaimer: the following is my own personal interpretation of mostly psychological dynamics around these characters, and it's based mostly on emotional intuition.
I think that Napoleon didn't actually appreciate his mother. The more he gained power, the more Napoleon became self-conscious about his behaviour building an ever-lasting image, so he had a habit of saying/doing things because he rather thought they were the best/most convenient thing to say rather than because they were heartfelt. He also likely became genuinely very disconnected from his emotions, but more on that later.
And I believe that even about his own mother Napoleon's mouth wasn't where his heart was.
Letizia was sometimes downright cruel when he was a child. Like in that episode when she tricked Napoleon as a child and made him change so that she could surprise him and beat him, because of some crap he had done HOURS earlier that day. It's scarring for life when such treason comes from your own mother.
She pushed him the most to stay in those dreaded French military schools, even drowned in discrimination and bullying, because earning money for the family was more important than his own happiness. We know how much pain and nostalgia Napoleon felt for his family and life at home as a child thanks to his writing. I'd argue his obsession with Corsican independence was a way to express his own wish for freedom from all his ties to France. But his mother never aknowledged any of this, he was the main breadwinner. And even in a dangerous situation such as the Terror and post-Terror she pushed him to thrive even better. Like girl, have you no care for your son's safety either??
Another sign of her complete neglect of Napoleon's emotional needs could also be her missing his coronation, either because of Josephine or - MUCH more likely - because her repressed ass and poverty trauma found the slightest lavishness and aknowledgement of success a direct invitation for God to punish them.
And about her animosity towards Josephine. It was never about her alleged immodesty. The true reason behind it was that Napoleon had always been the parentified breadwinner they all relied upon, and now he was married to someone, a woman who wouldn't have quietly submitted to the Bonaparte's interests, such as the meek Desirée. So no matter how happy you son is, you have to override all of that with animosity for money issues.
Such is the youth and such is the mother Napoleon build his whole personality and character from. He had so many feelings, so many emotional needs to be aknowledged and met, but all in his life situation framed them as insignificant against the greater circumstances and social expectations. He had to survive psychologically other than physically, so he trained to repress and neglect his own emotional side himself, as everyone around him did. He obsessed over valuing rationality and pragmatism and despising expressions of emotion or instincts. Being culturally raised during the Enlightenment sure helped him adopting this value system. As I said, he did resonate with the Pre-Romantic culture as well, but it stayed very private.
I would add that an experience such as the failure of his political career in Corsica was very influent too. He had poured so much passion and wish of self-realization in that dream to escape from a career in France, and it had been shattered ending with a pursuit and his home burned.
I think that his failed relationship with Paoli and his whoke experience in Corsica are very underrated when it comes to explain Napoleon's personality. Many underestimate the impact of Corsica in him, given that it was his formation years.
He was the embodyment of the saying "Within a cynical there's a let down idealist".
He must have felt guilt about his idealism and feats of passion so much that he must have overcompensated with an obsession for hyper-rationality.