title.the three-step guide on how to survive a zombie apocalypse! ( pt.1 / 3 )
verse.zombie apocalypse
rating.slurs / bad language / gore / bad humour (ha-ha yikes)
chars.jungkook & taehyung
wc.876 words
STEP ONE. You fucking sew your mouth closed.
The zombies out there? Not your usual Hollywood-style brain-eaters. ‘Course not– the movies were some kind of incentive, or the preparatory homework you get before the final exam ( which basically meant you were fucked, let’s be honest ). No, these zombies? They RIP your guts out from the inside, no kidding. They’ll tear your lips apart, break your jaw open and shove their entire fucking arm into your throat, pull on whatever they find and…well, logic ensues. You’re left there, wriggling on the ground, bleeding to your bitter death, choking on your own crimson red, or not, because your throat’s been pulled apart, while your tear-glazed eyes watch as said zombie GNAW onto your insides ( now renamed as outsides ).
So you fucking sew your mouth closed.
Or at least, that was what Taehyung did before he realized, three days in, that the loud grumbling following him around was his stomach. NOT some were-zombie-vampire-hybrid monster. Fortunately. Or not. There were more detailed sub-steps to STEP ONE. When you sew your mouth, make sure to leave enough space in between each strand so you could perhaps, drink, or eat snacks.
— ❛ Y’know, because COMMON FUCKING SENSE. ❜, Jungkook, the sly non-sewed mouth boy whispered,really loudly.
It wasn’t that Jungkook was mad, he was ENRAGED.Couldn’t blame him though, right? When you plan an intricate four-day no-stopping trip through a zombie infested city to your ma’s house, and then your sewed-mouth best friend decided that, hey, maybe we should stop at the next convenience store ( translated from a bunch of mmm’s ) because the poor boy forgot that as long as his stomach’s still inside of him, he needed to feed it. And the nearest convenience store? An off-road one, the kind that looked RAVAGED by fucking zombies.
But Jungkook’s a good friend. Even if he was the one who planned the duo’s escape, and even if he was the one who found the mini-van ( also filled it with a week’s worth of food ), and even if he was always the one doing the killing, he was going to go to that store. After all, both were going to HIS mother’s house.
And when the black mini-van came to a halt in front of the seemingly abandoned-but-still-lighted store, that’s when Taehyung’s heart double jumped. Did a Whiplashsolo on its own. It thumped so loudly in Jungkook’s ears, rumbled and buzzed through his skull because the eerie silence of the foggy night made it impossible to focus on anything else. The younger boy’s hand squeezed tight around the shotgun ( also found by him ), his eyes shut, breathing harsh, sweat forming at the top of his forehead, Adam’s apple bobbing, because his best friend’s FUCKING HEART was driving him insane. He grabbed Taehyung’s shirt and pulled him close, his hot breath forming sweat beads on the other’s neck, and then bit his tongue so hard blood dripped out of the corner of his lips. Taehyung noticed Jungkook’s clenched jaw and clenched everything, but his heart calmed as soon as he saw the blood. T’was a boys’ thing. There was no other way of thanking Jungkook for not spewing out poisoned daggers about howUSELESS and how much of A FUCKING COWARD the older was– he’s heard enough of that back when school was still a thing.
And anyway, zombies could FEEL people’s heartbeats ringing through their whole bodies, so Taehyung was doing them both a favour by calming the fuck down.
Both stepped out of the car, and slowly approached the glass doors. Jungkook’s shotgun twitched in the grip of his hand, Taehyung having only Jungkook’s gun as weapon, meaning he had to cling on to the younger, following his every step so as not to wake anything that might be lurking inside the shop. A loud BOOM was heard as a human-like male banged on the glass, his mouth ajar and crawling with tiny yellow-ish worms. And before anyone realized he was inside the store, Taehyung let out a scream, popping open his stitches and making him yell even louder as blood poured out of his tens of holes, his hands almost CRUSHING Jungkook’s arm in the process, ultimately triggering the gun– bullet breaking the glass doors.
Needless to say, it woke up a FUCKING ARMY of zombies. Okay, okay, maybe not a FUCKING ARMY, but more than two young guys could handle. They heard the hisses and the moans of the zombies growing louder by the second, the heavy running footsteps and the breaking of nails of the crawling zombies. The crushed glass under their feet and the swish-swoosh of their dripping blood and their angry SCREECHING and–
— ❛ Seven. There are seven of them. I have ten bullets,minus one, and FUCK YOU TAEHYUNG, grab the fucking grenade in the car’s glove compartment and throw it ONLY when I say so, prick! ❜ Jungkook’s usual tone, since the apocalypse started. And who could blame him?
But thankfully, the SECOND STEP to surviving a zombie apocalypse dealt exactly with what to do when a hoard of MONSTERS was full-speed racing towards you. The boys only had to remember it.
