So much discussion about whether Fadime did the right thing by hiding that she knew Iso's secret, convincing him that the night of henna and their nikah would happen, and then burning the wedding dress in front of him and breaking up with him without listening!
Well, she couldn’t do otherwise. And here’s why, in my opinion:
1. Fadime has a trust trauma: she does not trust people, and in her eyes, Iso, having lied to her about the secret after they agreed not to lie to each other, after she trusted him, essentially learning a new behavior pattern, betrayed her. Trust trauma is repeated.
2. Fadime has an abandonment trauma: her parents died, leaving her (the story of her mother’s death, who died of a broken heart while her children, specifically her daughter, were not enough reason to live, deserves a separate conversation), her brother went to prison, leaving her. Iso, lying about Eleni, makes their marriage impossible, because he again becomes Furtuna – the one who lies. Fadime feels abandoned again.
3. Fadime absolutely cannot handle her emotions: she can't slow down, think things through, or see someone else's perspective because the only significant and influential adult figure in her life — her brother — never taught her how. Adil can't manage his emotions either; he acts according to what he feels, without thinking about the impact his anger, rage, happiness, love, sadness, or longing has on the lives of people around him, including those close to him (here, I really want to talk about the incredible emotional work Esme does in their relationship, and about women's emotional labor in general). Fadime completely copies his behavior.
4. And finally, the blood feud: it defined the world in which Fadime grew up and lives. It makes this world very simple, not requiring heartwork. This world is not only simple for Fadime; it's familiar to her, and that's why in moments of personal crisis she so easily falls into its embrace.
