Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader
Genre: Fluffy floofy flufflefloof
Summary: You always had a plan for what you’d do if you ever met a member of BTS. You just never expected you’d need it.
“Er… hi, Hoseok,” you stammer, disarmed.
Hoseok chuckles. “Were you expecting Yoongi hyung?”
“Rhetorical question,” he says, cutting you off. “I beat him to the car.”
He leans back. “I just want to chat, y/n. See, I’m not good at much–”
“Dancing, singing, rapping, smiling…” you count off on your fingers before looking up innocently. “Sorry, you were saying?”
He laughs, tweaking your nose. “You really are charming.”
“Anyways, I’m not good at much. But I am good at reading people.” The car begins to move as he stares into your eyes. “And you seem a bit off.”
Your heart pounds in your chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” he shrugs, and suddenly his heart-shaped smile is nowhere in sight. “And honestly, you do you, right? Whatever. But something’s off about you– I don’t know what yet– and I want you to promise that no matter what, you won’t hurt Yoongi hyung. If you do… well, maybe don’t test me.”
You nod rapidly, almost struck dumb by Hoseok’s insight. “I got it.”
“Good.” Hoseok pauses before scratching his head, laughing nervously. “I’ve never had to be intimidating before!”
You breathe for what feels like the first time in minutes as the car parks in front of the dance studio. “God, Hobi. Never do that again. I thought you were gonna hold a knife to my throat or something. Jesus.”
“Oh no!” Hoseok laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you get out of the car and walk into the studio. “I’m sorry, I really am. I just wanted to make a point.”
“You made your point, doofus,” you shudder. “I’m never gonna sleep again.”
“Ah, you’ll be fine.” A guy in a suit opens the door to the studio, and you and Hoseok stroll in. “Guys,” Hobi calls, “I brought the model and damn, she’s even cuter than her pictures!”
“Dude!” you protest, swatting him as the others crowd around you. Yoongi’s there, although he hangs back a bit.
“Sorry, y/n, hyung’s the biggest flirt.” Jimin says, playfully punching Hoseok. He chuckles and withdraws his arm from around your shoulders.
“Don’t mind me,” you tell them. “I’m just gonna find a little corner to hide in and watch y’all dance.”
With a few more nose tweaks and hair ruffles, they resume their positions in the center of the room. Save Yoongi, who remains in front of you.
“I didn’t think I’d get to see you today,” he says.
“Can’t get rid of me that easily, can you?” you tease.
“As much as I want to, it’s just impossible,” Yoongi says with a dramatic sigh.
You stifle a giggle before flapping your hand at him. “Go, go dance. I want to watch you look stupid.”
“Ah, I don’t look stupid,” Yoongi says with exaggerated confidence. “I look sexy.”
Hmf. You hold your breath for one-two-three seconds. It’s a trick you learned in Improv class to help you keep a straight face, and you’ve never appreciated it more. “Keep telling yourself that,” you say, an octave higher than usual.
“He doesn’t have to,” Seokjin calls from across the room. “All the fangirls do it for him.”
“Alright guys, places,” calls a man, and it takes you until that moment to realize the room is teeming with people. There’s a camera set up and a few assistants milling nearby.
“I thought this was an impromptu practice?” you hiss at Yoongi as he turns away.
“Ah, yeah, they do this for all us rookie groups,” he says sheepishly before heading to join the others.
Rookies? You have to fight the urge to clock him over the head. He’s lying to you, and of course you know why: he’s still trying to downplay his role.
Rookies– a comical thought. Is that what they’re calling one of the biggest boy bands in the world? You know you’re being hypocritical, but you can’t help it.
Footsteps behind you, and you turn to find yourself face to face with Irene.
“Fine. Great,” you say. “I’m sorry about collapsing last week– I hope I didn’t inconvenience you.”
Irene laughs. “I’ve never met an actress so humble. Don’t worry, hon. We got all the scenes we needed you in, and by some miracle the guys got the waltz sequence in one take.”
Of course they did– Yoongi had promised, after all.
You watch the guys make small changes to their positions. You can hear Hoseok’s “pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa” as he illustrates the choreography.
“Oh, y/n– you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” Irene says. “We’re keeping the content of the comeback under very tight wraps until the music video drops.”
“Of course.” Just another secret. You can do that.
The music starts, and it’s an unfamiliar beat; powerful, the baseline shaking the very floor. Right off the bat you’re entranced by their movements.
The impossible precision of the quick choreography reminds you of Danger, but the way they interact with each other brings DNA to mind. And that one part in the chorus– oh, goodness. You’re sure you’re bright red. You hate, hate, hate to admit it, but the ARMY in you is screaming. Goddammit, Yoongi was right. They look downright sexy.
You press your palms to your cheeks to cool down your heated face. Aish, get a hold of yourself, y/n. They’re friends, you scold yourself.
But they’re my idols, your ARMY self wails. They’re beautiful and perfect and right in front of me. How long have I dreamed of this?
For years I’ve loved them–
They’re just normal people–
The combating arguments are messing with you, making your head spin. Dizzy…you’re so dizzy, and the lights are so bright…
“I need some air,” you gasp, pushing past Irene and stumbling to the door. You turn the handle, but–
The door holds firm. It’s locked?
“Miss,” an assistant whispers to you. “The door is locked during takes to avoid leaks.”
“I need to go,” you say urgently as your breath begins to come in shorter gasps. “I have to– let me out.”
“Please,” you beg, suddenly feeling very small. You feel like you’re on the verge of tears but you won’t, you won’t cry.
You’re being compressed, the walls are inching closer, closer, and you’re so tense that you must be on the urge of breaking into pieces. You try to control your breathing, but your in… and out… mantra becomes inoutinoutinoutinout and you need to leave.
People are beginning to look your way. Stop. You cover your face with your hands, wishing more than anything you could become invisible.
Suddenly someone speaks. “Open the door, please. Just for a minute.”
And cool night air caresses your cheek and you’re being led outside, sitting down on a bench and your eyes, which were squeezed tightly shut, open to the welcoming darkness.
“Breathe. Y/n, listen to my voice. You’re safe. There’s no danger, nothing’s going to hurt you. Let it out.”
Safe. You look around and standing a few feet away from you is…
“Can I go nearer to you, or would that make it worse?”
You press your lips together. “Come. Please.”
With your invitation he walks slowly and sits down next to you, not touching you. “Can you breathe?”
“Yeah,” you say, taking a shaky breath to prove your point. “God, I’m so sorry, I–”
You freeze, your lips parted as the apology dies on your lips.
“Never apologize for this,” Yoongi says. “Was that your first panic attack?”
You shake your head hesitantly. These… episodes… have happened before, but never so bad, and you’ve never told anyone about them.
“Do you know what triggered it?”
Of course you do. The conflict in your head– wanting to normalize and deify him– it’s tearing you apart.
I want you to promise that no matter what, you won’t hurt Yoongi hyung.
“No, I don’t know,” you whisper.
Yoongi sighs and sits back. “That’s okay.”
“I didn’t mean to distract from your dancing.”
“It’s fine. No one should be alone during a panic attack.” Tentatively he reaches out and rubs your back in soothing circles. “Is this okay?”
Min Yoongi is touching me–
Stop it, he’s just a normal guy–
“It’s fine. It’s great, actually.” you smile a bit, your heart rate slowing. “You’re always saving my ass, though. I don’t like being a damsel in distress.”
Yoongi laughs. “I don’t think you could ever be a damsel in distress. You’re too damn smart.”
“Mm.”
A few moments of silence pass before you hear Yoongi chuckling beside you.
“Penny for your thoughts?” you ask.
“I’m just thinking… it’s always the dark with us.” he waves his hand at the night sky. “And I like it.”
“Me too,” you murmur. “It’s easier to hide.”
“Do you have a lot to hide from?”
You realize your mistake and scramble to fix it. But how close can you get to the truth? “I’m an actress. I play a character, right?” you can’t see Yoongi, but his silence is one of understanding. You swallow and continue. “Uh… when I’m always trying to be someone else, a lot of me slips through the cracks. But I can’t talk about it, because–“
“–it’s taboo.”
“Right.”
“Korea is so advanced, but in some ways it still has a lot of room to grow,” Yoongi says angrily. “If I just had someone to talk to as a trainee…” he sighs. “Who knows.”
“You’ve got now,” you remind him. “And you’ve got me.”
“Yeah. But wait, aren’t I supposed to be comforting you?”
“I’m alright,” you say with bravado. “I’m tough.”
“You don’t have to be, though,” and his voice is so soft, so reassuring that you instinctively lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder. He smells like soap and ocean spray. It’s… nice. In that moment, you know that you can trust him. Should you tell him?
“I’m so glad I met you,” Yoongi whispers. “It’s been years since I’ve had a friend outside the industry.”
“Why’s that?”
He thinks for a second. “It’s just hard. Being a celebrity– not that I’m well known– I feel like most of the people I meet only care about that. And I love my fans, they’re incredible, but they– well, they want Suga. Not Min Yoongi.”
His words shatter you like a porcelain doll. What were you thinking? The midnight meetings and heart-to-hearts would mean nothing to him if he found out that all this time, you were just another fangirl.
You stand. “Hey, I have to get going.”
“And you do too, don’t you have things to do? And I have a shift at the cafe tomorrow, I think, and so much homework, oh my god–” you pat your pockets. Wallet, phone, keys– you’re good.
“I’ll call the car–” Yoongi says, about to head inside.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get a taxi.” you squint, looking for the road.
“Y/n, is something wrong?”
“Not at all,” you say, daring to give him a quick hug. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Of course. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Hundred percent. Tell the guys bye from me, yeah?” you’re walking away as you speak. Already shaken by your episode, you can’t trust yourself with more lies tonight.
You find a taxi and arrive home without a problem, sighing as you collapse on the bed. For once your nocturnal tendencies refuse to kick in and despite the relatively early hour, you feel exhausted. You’re about to climb into bed when your phone rings.
“Oh, hey, Lisa. What’s up?”
“Your birthday is next week, right?”
You check the date. “Wow, yeah, next Sunday. Time flies.”
“I know, right? Okay bye!”
“What?” you stare at the phone, having heard the familiar click of Lisa hanging up.
“What was that about?” you mutter before faceplanting onto your pillow.
A/N Thank you so much for reading! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated, so please feel free to drop me an ask with any commentary you may have :)