brief_encounters.

S T O N E F A C E // F T A N G ! // B R I E F - E N C O U N T E R S  email: [email protected]

[dailyrothko]

[dailyrothko]

Mark Rothko, Untitled (Green, Black, Green), 1966

90  X  69  Inches, Oil on canvas

Private collection

© Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko; Artists Rights Society

[s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s]

[lunarviolets]

Manic pixie dream girl says, ‘have you heard this record?’ Manic pixie dream girl says let me save you with this record. Let me put the headphones on for you, and smile, while you listen; cut to your point of view, watch me smile while you listen. Hear that? That’s the sound of you becoming a better person. I’m gonna paint a picture of a bird on your beige wall without your permission and you’re gonna love it. And you thought you hated birds. See me? Encouraging you to take risks? Manic pixie dream girl wants you to do something you’ve never done before. Like go swing-dancing, or smile. You wanna know my name? You never call me by it anyway. If I had to guess, it would probably be a season, or after a dead actress who you loved as a child. But this isn’t about me! This is about you, and your cubicle job, your white bedroom, your white Honda, your white mother. Manic pixie dream girl says I’m going to save you. Says, don’t worry, you are still the lead role. This is your love story about the way I teach you to live. Everything they know about me they will learn when it is projected onto you, watch the way you pick up my bad habits and make them look good. Manic pixie dream girl talks too much. Says bad words out loud and cries at the commercials. That makes me a funny woman, right? The kind people like to laugh at? It’s easy to root for you when I act like this, so disagreeable, such a manic dream, dream girl, your almost broken accessory. Manic pixie dream girls says let’s play make believe with my body. I’ll be a vintage dress in an empty prescription bottle, good girl, just bad enough, a burp and a curtsy. Let me be not too pretty, hair fried from all that pink dye, sex when you need it, puppet when you’re bored. Let me build myself smaller than you, let me apologize when I get caught acting bigger than you. Let me always wait for this, let me work for this. The convenient thing about being a magical woman is that I can be gone as quickly as I came. And when you are a whole person for the first time, the movie is over. Manic pixie dream girl doesn’t go on; there’s no need for her anymore. Manic pixie dream girl is too dream girl, and you just woke up. Once, I told you I was afraid of my father, and for a moment, I looked so human, the audience lost interest. You saw the crow’s feet at the sides of my eyes and a small chip on my front tooth. I looked just like everyone else.

Olivia Gatwood, “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” (a transcript)

also important, impactful, and relevant 

[surrealism-love]

The looking glass via Rene Magritte

Size: 115x76 cm Medium: oil, canvas

[mindlessmumblescreations]

help me im ded 

[surrealism-love]

My Wife, Nude, Contemplating Her Own Flesh Becoming Stairs, Three Vertebrae of a Column, Sky and Architecture via Salvador Dali

65x61 cm oil, wood

[mindlessmumblescreations]

i am so in love with dali’s love for gala, this is not working with me today

[mindlessmumblescreations]

I LOVE THIS RECORDING I DID THE OTHER DAY there I said it ((For They Are No Good!))

[mindlessmumblescreations]

a perch too high, thought this little bird and so i took the lower. it was a sunrise after all, and i being the earliest, awoke before even the hunt had.

“oh boy!” said a small moth to his mother, i recall excitement for past times. i recall a small tint in the window of my mother’s household, i recall the bedside and how so many glass-crystal horses could have kept a glass woman so busy

quick! there’s a dew drop! and a whisper. and for a while there i forget to breathe

- stoneface2017. mindlessmumblescreations.

[dfalksjdflkaskladsjflas]

Elliot Smith & Gin At A Bad Time

i couldnt get enough of her at first but that’s how ‘at first’ operates this is potential pooled at the bottom of a square glass i motion to my mouth and i’m not kidding this is my fifth/sixth/seventh drink and the night is early and every girl is beautiful and i dont mind

and nothing keeps anything still i wont say you outloud i excavate the moon it wants me to know this is a temporary consolation at best we all forget what we want but the morning rears regardless a rare whimpering wakes us back up i’ll keep them still

[mindlessmumblescreations]

fuck me up kate monica

[towardmyself]

a tolerance of intolerance, i suppose

there is a unique kind of hell in being gluten and lactose intolerant when your favorite foods are bread and cheese. i am all mixed up in my head trying to understand the nuanced relationship between things that hurt and things that are bad. when i eat too much bread or too much cheese, a hard twist in my gut. a prehistoric rage of gas and what is difficult to digest. a painful, delayed and slow, or furious and liquefied expulsion of shit. but not really any lasting damage. i guess i feel better when i avoid those foods but then there is the wanting. i haven’t decided if the lack of hurt makes up for the wanting. i don’t think it does. anyway in this case the thing that hurts isn’t necessarily bad. and the wanting which grows from a lack of it also hurts, in its own way. some other things in this category are vaccines and a hard fuck and making myself bleed. and then of course each of those represents its own sub category and so on and so on.

then there are those things which do not hurt but are bad. these of course being bad because, without the immediate pain, you do not realize what they are doing to you. BPA and cigarettes and someone who loves you and thinks you love them back. these hurting eventually, but long after you last touched them. knowing these have made me suspicious of anything which does not hurt. then still those things which both hurt and are bad. pain is the evolutionary signal of something being Not Good. a broken rib and abuse and bleeding gums when flossing. these are tricky, though may seem the most obvious. how easy it is to convince yourself you have imagined the pain. the stove is not hot. the skin is not split open. the lover did not mean to confuse your silence, did not mean to hear it as yes, more please. and then, of course, fear, and whether or not it can be trusted. and whether or not you have invented its cause. and whether or not that matters. and i have never been good at letting go of what i want just because it hurts. and i have often confused a lack of hurt with a lack of importance. and i have often invited hurt as a method of self discipline. and i have often used a small and sharp hurt as a means of staving off a larger, less recoverable one. she says over the phone that maybe i have confused what i want with what i have been given. or maybe i have confused what i deserve with what i have been given. so maybe what i think i want is just what i think i deserve which is just what i have been given. i tighten my jaw to keep from crying. i woke up this morning in a bed she was not in, in a city she was not in, by an ocean she could not smell from here. i could not tell whether the wanting hurt. i have never been good at knowing what kind of hurt is the kind that makes it reasonable to let go of what you want. i have never been good at knowing what i want. or whether what i want is bad. or whether it is just what i have been given. i have never even begun to understand how any of this relates to what i may or may not deserve. me and hayley have been talking about shameless. that scene when jimmysteve yells at fiona. “you’re afraid! you’re terrified that if you let yourself rely on me, one day you’ll need me and i won’t be there.” me and hayley and fiona tighten our jaws to keep from crying. she says over the phone she wants to give me what i deserve. i know i want her. i know she is not bad. i am worried it might hurt. i am terrified it won’t.

[dfalksjdflkaskladsjflas]

Hi this is nora I like her she’s smart you should also like nora

[mindlessmumblescreations]

this scares me the same ways that i excite myself so heres this and that i guess, idk 

[mindlessmumblescreations]

I LOVE THIS RECORDING I DID THE OTHER DAY there I said it ((For They Are No Good!))

[surrealism]

Untitled by Steven Cline, 2017. Collage.

[magictransistor]

André Breton, Paul Éluard, Suzzane Muzzard. Untitled Original Collages. 1931. 

[inkskinned]

a secret code between women: are you safe? in a contact of eyes. i’m here if you need me, the littlest shift of a skirt, of an inclined head, of watching the man who is asking you to smile, bitch. you aren’t alone on the walls of restrooms, i was where you are too. the quiet doling of emergency numbers, the shelters. the space between two women in a largely empty train station. the waiting game of two women strangers who walk, quietly and quickly, to their cars in abandoned parking lots, who watch to be sure the other leaves safely. text me you get home safe. the tally marks of drinks on hidden wrists, carefully disguised as other things ever since men picked up on what it meant and used it to target the “weakest link.” 

my father tells me we have nothing to worry about. last night he sent me one of those email chains that say at the top “Safety Tips For The Women In Your Life!!!! Don’t Let Her Die!!” 

me, and the stranger on the train. she is asleep and the man is asking me who i am going home to. i feel tears pricking the sides of my eyes. i am 13 while he towers over me. he reaches out one hand, and while i don’t know how she knows, she speaks up without opening her eyes: “If you touch my daughter, sir, I will murder you.” Whatever he grumbles is lost in history, because this moment I am so grateful for the existence of other people that I cannot breathe.

I am 19 and on my phone when i become aware of a 13 year old girl is smiling nervously at a man who’s saying disgusting things. I grab her arm. “There you are, cindy,” I say, and then look at the man like he is bile. “Do you need something from my sister?” i ask, and i walk away with her. she cries later.

this is the way of things: a silent, secret web. our promise to each other that despite our differences, when it comes to the wire, we become family, instantly. the unspoken promise. i’m here. i’m watching. i’ll witness.

[mindlessmumblescreations]

this is so powerful.

[mindlessmumblescreations]

She whispers in my head and I hear her.

I can’t believe I wrote this song four years ago, yet alone self recorded and released this whole thing, just to ignore it.

[dfalksjdflkaskladsjflas]

Here’s To You, Mrs. Robinson

it’s such a shame, can you know better? (i mean next time, if presented with the task)

i have an ache in my hand i can’t let you in right now i get bored in my garage as easy as any kid my age or otherwise god bless a rift between the psychologist and what they’re meant to help an existence untethered is meaningless but i drove to work under duress i gotta say, i’m unimpressed

god bless the ache keeping me in place i want to run somewhere verdant but i wont because i love something i can’t name and if i could i’m sure i’d change my mind and go

colby just sent me a snapchat of our drunk notes to each other in darcie dennigans class and to be honest i’m fucked up now i’ll go grab another drink (try not to think) i’m still sorry she gave me the world and i gave her a hungover response to a prompt she’s the angel of death, i know i told her she can take me whenever she wants but i’m a liar, i drink & whither and wake up and make money in an office and i guess that happens everywhere & often but i dont know i talked so much about an impossible montana forest where nothing i could kill would grow

[mindlessmumblescreations]

sigh,

[dfalksjdflkaskladsjflas]

And All Day Long We Talked About Mercy

i’m irritated anyone is home ‘a gregarious rainfall’ is what i almost wrote about today, then didnt  there’s something more important, a well-orchestrated changing of guards or curtains or someone somewhere learning to play the harp or keep calm when another body fills a new space

me: (defensively) vinny showed me that song first me: (egregiously) i’m not better but i’m trying

i dont know, look through every window at once 

it’s weird watching your names switch spots  on my snapchat best friends, yours has the heart next to it now and she saw it last time she was here, i dont know why does movement always feel weird

i wanna be unshakeable as a child i wanna know i know for sure on the drive home (it could never be the ride over, that’s not how this works) i thought i saw a massive-winged bird  of course instead it was a broken two-pronged streetlight

and michael got his tattoo before i did a bear up the forearm, a slashing of claw mine was gonna be a broken stopwatch mine doesnt have to be in the past tense but it is anyway, that’s just how this works i told you i didnt actually want you to come to boston on new years mercury grew wings or something so we gotta be careful my therapist said it will not get better unless i agree to be soft i said okay, then it will not get better and left and felt bad all day i wanted to call her and ask ‘does this count?’ but i dont feel like needing anyone to know

i’m cold i want grainy footage of my parents dancing  and a simultaneous video of me and vinny watching rick & morty on the plane moments before it didnt crash like i thought it would and i know i shouldve been relieved but then what was all that fear for

[mindlessmumblescreations]

i really have to stop readingKate Monica at 11pm

[mindlessmumblescreations]

i picked you flowers and i let them wilt. i put them on the dashboard of my car, with the other dead flowers. some gifts from you, some the girl before, and maybe one before her too. i think about love. light. i think about over and under watering things, how the roots always die first, how there is a balance to the love you can give something before it becomes too much.

Brief Encounters, 

[eatsleepdraw]

Sharing something © Livia Fălcaru / 2016 

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✧ for some awesome prints you can goHERE

[mindlessmumblescreations]

hit me like a ton of bricks today. cheers/xx