Screaming into the void

[mindoctopus]

If Padmè survived because fuck Palpatine

Padmè: People say they juge people by their kids

Padmè: All I have to say is go of the first one ....go of the first one... I can not controle the second one ...as a matter of fact she controls me. I don't know where she came from ...sometimes I question if she is even mine but she looked to much like me not to be

[mindoctopus]

Fives: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

Rex: What's the taser challenge?

Jessy: We tase eachother, then drink.

Rex: How do you win?

Fives: What are you, a jedi? You want in or not?

[mindoctopus]

Thorn, trying his first ever cup of kaf: I am ENERGY! 

Fox, an avid kaf drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

[mindoctopus]

The funniest thing to me in Star wars still is : Anakin is married and thats a problem. Meanwhile his master the picture perfect Jedi has so many situationships going on that an excil spreadsheet would simply explode.

[mindoctopus]

*Cody comes home absolutely drunk, undresses and stands in their bedroom*

Obi-Wan: Darling aren't you gonna come to bed ?

Cody: I'm sure your lovely but I have a husband

Cody: *lies on the ground and false asleep*

Obi-Wan:.....

Obi-Wan, smiling fondly: *gently force lifting cody into bed*

[mindoctopus]

Obi-Wan: *kisses sick Cody on the forhead*

Cody, absolutely out of it: You missed

Obi-Wan: Huh ?

Cody: *kisses Obi-Wan on the lips*

*Obi-Wan exe has stopped working*

Kix: *walking backwards out of med bay* Nope ain't gonna dealing with this banta shit

[mindoctopus]

Since my brain can't handle more pain

Here me out Clone Wars Karaoke

Here me more out with Phineas and Ferb Songs

Commander Cody-Gimme a Grade (You snuck your way into my heart but only when drunk)

Commander Bly-Alien Heart

Commander Wolfe-I love you mom*( *Dad/General ...plo cryed ugly ...)

Commander Fox-Busted

Commander Ponds and windu- Ain't got rythem (they got blackmailed, they say...they are lying)

Anakin-My ride from outer space

Obi-Wan-I'm Handsome (Extraordinary when he is drunk)

Plo Koon: Im Lindana and I wanna have fun (??? Nobody gets it either but he is Plo Koon and just wants to have fun)

Asoka-I'm me

Captain Rex-Give up ( He is joking ...ignore the tears he is fine)

Waxer and Boil- Brand new best friend

Echo and Fives- Gitschi gitschi goo * ( everyone hates it ..they love it ...everyone has it stuck in their had for a week after)

Jango Fett-Army of me (yes i think I am very funny)

[mindoctopus]

Obi-Wan, telling a story out of his time as a Padawan: Haha anyway that was a funny story

Waxer and Boil: *googeling how to kill someone who is already dead*

Wooley: General do you want a hug ?

Obi-Wan,confused: Why ?

Cody,vibrating in anger : *trew his teeth* Will you excuse me for a moment Sir

Obi-Wan: ?

Something explodes in the force

-----meanwhile on Corrosant-------

Thorn: And he just dropped dead ?

Fox, poking at the dead Chancellor with his foot: Yup

Mace: What do you mean you are retiring ?

Yoda: *stuffing frogs into baggs* Dealing with him I will not. His anger to strong.

Mace: The Sith Master ?

Yoda: Commander Cody

Mace: *starting to pack too* Why didn't you say so

[mindoctopus]

Obi-Wan: We should give Anakin a Padawan it calmed me down and will good for him to mature

-After several missions with Asoka and Anakin realising she is even more ferral than him and he has to deal with two insane Padawans now-

Obi-Wan: The risk I took was calculated .....but boy am I bad at math

[mindoctopus]

I just went to ao3 for my daily dose of codywan when I saw the tag "cody catches the force" and I laughed so hard because only two images pop into my head.

1. He gets it like the cold

2.He catches it like a pokemon

[mindoctopus]

Little Anakin who comes from a dessert planet: How do you breath under water ?

Obi-Wan,single mom with two jobs: You don't thats called drowning.

[mindoctopus]

My opinion on Obi-Wan Ships Part 2 i guess

Darth Maul x Obi-Wan

That awkward moment you start feeling bad for your stalker. When obsession starts to taste like admiration. They are the definition of its complicated (try to explain to someone that this guy killed your master , you cut him in halve, he came back started murdering jedi with his magic steroid brother , overthrew a goverment with a groupe of terrorists just to kill your ex girlfriend because he was to salty to die after you beat him ...for again kill your father figure). I don't think therapy will fix it.

Jango x Obi-Wan

The guy you fucked once because he was hot and you had a bad day is now hunting you because now your the general of an army of his clones. This surely is a very unique problem to have.

Dex x Obi-Wan

Simply because he looked like an exited school girl meeting him . Dex was quite attraktiv and Obi-Wan is still not fully over his school girl crush.

Grievous x Obi-Wan

I don't get this but as I have said before and will say again this man has no self preservation and his favourite dessert is a hear me out cake.

Rex x Obi-Wan

I can see it but I think it would be more of a friends with benefits situation which means venting/worrying over Anakin and a quick fuck than an actual relationship

Obi-Wan x 212th Battelion

Oh boy thats equally impressive and scary but if their is a man who can do it its this one . Also some of the fics I have seen tagt with it are very cute ...others are down right well wet is a good sfw word for it .....again I bow to you. Do I think its a good one naw I think its way to complicated and to much but its a fun idea plus our boy gets all the huggs he so desperatelyneeds. More platonic than romantic is very sweet I like that more.(Is this even a policule anymore or a beehive with Obi-Wan as the queen bee?)

[mindoctopus]

MY OPINIONS on the most popular ship partners of Obi-Wan Kenobi

Satin x Obi-Wan:

The woman he married way to young way to fast . They are divorce but they will alwalove each other in a way but they are in their past. Both just outgrew their relationship and needed to focus on their jobs more

Quin Lan x Obi-Wan:

First Boyfriend ...first time . Now just friends maybe friends with benefits. Quin Lan thinks Obi-Wan has grown up to much and Obi-Wan thinks Quin Lan hasn't grown up enough.

Hondo x Obi-Wan:

Drunk fuck. Neather was that drunk .......

Cad Bane x Obi-Wan (Hardeen)

One sided on Cad Banes side .....

Ventress x Obi-Wan

Hate fucked 2 times ...no I will not clarify

Anikan x Obi-Wan

What no ewww thats his Son/Brother

Cody x Obi-Wan

They are endgame two halves of one ...they kill me . Like Satin is his past Cody is his present and the writers hate us soooo he has no future love

[mindoctopus]

Can we please talk about how Obi-Wans level of annoyens at Mauls return is. Like he went from " Oh no thats impossible.... I killed him" to " Oh not this little shit again....Can you please stay dead" alarmingly fast

[mindoctopus]

Cody: *covered in red lipstick kisses*

Rex: What happened to you ?

Rex: Did you do that General ????

Kenobi, holding back laughter: I did not do that

Wax,red lipstick smeared all over his lips: Than who did *giggling*

Boil, also lipstick all over his mouth: Yeahr who ? *giggling*

[mindoctopus]

Cody: We don't give people the finger.

Obi-Wan: We are better than that.

Cody: We give them every finger

Obi-Wan: No,wait I don't like where this is going.....

Cody: Right across the face !

Obi-Wan: *facepalms*

[mindoctopus]

Y'all telling me Cody picking up Obi-Wan isn't canon ? Y'all are telling me Commander So-done-with-him Cody doesn't pick General I -sleep-when-I-am-dead Kenobi up to take him to get a nap and eat ? Like you kidding me he soooo does ...just picks him up over his shoulders and of they are.