my personal thoughts

its a fucken diary

[mindofaugust]

Fucken pathetic

[mindofaugust]

Kenny's 22nd bday party, 05/26/2016 (Pasia)

Long story short. I kissed Pachia…or more specifically she kissed me. Both drunk, obviously she was way more drunk. Started off with her crying and then telling me about how Mong was leaving soon to move to Minnesota with his family and how she’ll feels heart broken to be left here in Fresno. Whilst crying and yelling at me, she pulls me in for a kiss. Begins telling me she was always waiting for me to make a move all this time. Brings up that one time we had pizza and watched the super bowl (..at her place?). Completely throws me off. Brings up sex and accuses me of sleeping around with the Unicorns and calls me a fucboi, lol. Randomly asks if i will be there for her in ~3 months if she needs me for sex.

Memory after this gets fuzzy, things get outta control, Ntxoo & Bla come and get us and the night turns to shit. Ntxoo gets mad at me for using that night to catch up with Pachia. Obviously because she spent so much money to rent an AirBnB home for the party. But what Pachia was telling me completely blew me away because I never even thought she would say something like that. But of course its all because shes drunk.

But Pachia and I have talked, or at least we sorta did over the phone/text. And we are good. She’s sorry for that night and I completely forgive and understand that she was not her. We’re good friends and i dont intend to try to date her, nor can i even fathom a long term relationship happening with her. All in all, we let that night be the mistake it was and have since moved on.

This is just a diary post.

[mindofaugust]

Chilnualna Falls trail. May 2016, solo hike

[mindofaugust]

Feb 2016

[mindofaugust]

10/2/2015 What's your worth?

Create/build yourself in such a way that you can lay out why youre going to be valuable to someone/something, in this case, a company or business. Be able to tell them why and how you’re going to be of benefit as an individual. But also be sure to know your own self-worth.

[mindofaugust]

10/2/15 Get Goals Nigga

Get goals nigga. Have goals nigga. Never lose sight of your goals nigga. Finished a goal? Get a new, higher goal nigga. Dont let insignificant things, blind/block you from your goals niggaaa.

[mindofaugust]

10/2/2015 Friends/Priorities

Stop making your friends your priority. Make your goals, your top priority. Learn to have fun with your own comfort. But by no means cut friends out completely. Make time to balance your priorities.

[mindofaugust]

9/26/2015 Success?

Are you afraid of failing, or are you more afraid of succeeding?

[mindofaugust]

9/25/2015 Girls of Unicorns

This week i just found out that Ntxoo did some things at a birthday party that disappointed me. From what Cheenou told me, which he saw via Shoua’s snapchats, Ntxoo was kissing a guy and also twerking on the bday boy. All whilst in the midst of getting back together with long time ‘on and off’ boyfriend, Kenny. After a summer on “break” and finally deciding to come together and trying to work things out, she pulls a disappointing hypocritic move at this party. But from this instance, and others this summer, I’ve come to a calm realization that the girls of the Unicorns are growing up. Completely normal of them to want to have fun and get loose and free of inhibitions. Though i fear for them the same a brother or father would their sister or daughter, i know it’s best for me to remain in observance only and wait for them to come to me. From now on, ive got to focus on me and doing just me; figuring out how i want to live my life and spend my time. For the first time in a long time, or perhaps ever, i dont feel a want for their company. In fact i almost want to get away from them. Part of me is tired of caring so much about these girls; and im well aware it’s myself who is making me care this much about them, but, for the first time im learning to let go and setting myself free of them. At the end of the day, I need to worry about myself first.

[mindofaugust]

September 2015

[mindofaugust]

[mindofaugust]

Learn from the Past.

Learn to let go. Let them make mistakes, and don’t care. They’ll learn in accordance to their life; you move on with yours.

Don’t care about their potential troubles. Focus on yours and only yoursmmmmmmm

[mindofaugust]

06/18/2015 4:30am - Unicorn Cars Broken Into

After a movie night watching Horns (Daniel Radcliffe) at Bill’s, we come out around 3:10am to find Julie’s, Ntxoo’s brother Thao’s civic, and Cheenou’s camry broken into. All three cars were parked on the side of the street. Ntxoo’s and Julies’s parked next to each other were under the street lamp. Cheenou’s car was parked across the street in the dark. The cars’ interiors were rustled as though such of a search. However nothing was taken. Receipts and paperwork tossed around inside and out. Evidence of DMV paperwork looked at (contains personal info such as home address). Coin change stolen. Nothing else missing. Anything of any value not taken. We didnt bother to report in to the police. Only our three vehicles were broken into. Every other car around had no signs of breaking and entering; thus causing us to believe the burglar(s) is someone within the immediate neighborhood who knows exactly which cars to attack.

[mindofaugust]

Bear Mountain, CA

June 2015 Camping with the cousins, and Uncle Txis Lee.

[mindofaugust]

Drop the past 5/25/15

Focus on you. Let them experience in accordance to their own life. Whether things turn out good or good, I’d rather not know for fear of

[mindofaugust]

Sigh 1/25/2015

Sigh.

[mindofaugust]

DUI

dude. wtf. i got no words. you got no words. left wrist a bit spranged. right wrist fine, but two cuts.  spend passed three days fixeing up the civic. wtf.

omg idk