MEMORY / LAPSE

independent, private and selective jace beleren. written by spencer.

[mindsculpt-blog1]

mindsculpt:

a mostly comprehensive list of shit jace can do with his telepathy:

implant false memories

erase memories all together, be it segments of memory or wiping someone’s mind completely — including to the point where their bodies don’t even know how to breathe, therefore suffocating them to death

create entire, tangible fake worlds in someone’s head

control other things/people through someone else’s mind (this was demonstrated on amon.khet where jace took control of this guy’s mind, who was controlling a bunch of zombies and subsequently jace’s mind control extended to the zombies as well)

absorbing the mind of someone else (though he’s only tried this once with kallist and it didn’t go TOO well, but considering he was like…. maybe 20 when he did that and he’s closer to 26 in current canon he’d probably be able to semi-successfully withdraw someone’s psyche from their body and keep it separate from his own)

[mindsculpt-blog1]

it's 2018 so imo it's well past time for all us non-jewish people to recognize these deceptively "quiet" actions of antisemitism: making fun of a jewish actor/actress's features (throwback to a couple months ago when everyone was mocking be.n bar.nes, a jewish actor, for his facial features), expecting jewish people to be the ones to speak up about antisemitism and letting them be the only ones to point it out, every time a non-jewish actor is cast in a jewish (or jewish-coded) role and yall stan them anyways, slapping "they're jewish" on a character without any prior research or actually incorporating it into their story and personality, using jewish fcs for non-jewish characters, writing a jewish character in ANY WAY that resembles a n*zi (example: magneto), getting pissy when a jewish person calls you on your antisemitic bullshit, need i go on.

[ahmazon-a-blog]

http://holocaustlearning.org/survivors https://www.holocaustcenterseattle.org/survivor-stories https://www.ushmm.org/remember/the-holocaust-survivors-and-victims-resource-center/benjamin-and-vladka-meed-registry-of-holocaust-survivors/behind-every-name-a-story

if it still isn’t sinking in or if you haven’t been coddled enough i decided to find some holoc/aust survivor accounts that you can read at the provided links since this isn’t real to you.

[ahmazon-a-blog]

http://www.independent.co.uk/topic/anti-semitism

here’s a link to where you can find some recent accounts of antisemitism in the world. this is still happening people. don’t pretend like nazism and antisemitism are a thing of the past because they are not.

[bace-jeleren]

Anybody who can look at the new Jace art and think “oh yeah, there’s a heterosexual man right there” needs to revaluate their lives.

Look at him.

Look at him.

[dasebeleren]

Meanwhile, on Ravnica…

[bananajeph-deactivated20180116]

Everyone’s Trauma is Valid but Mine: the novel

[pyrexvisean-deactivated20181125]

aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets 

[mindsculpt-blog1]

          “   WHOEVER I WAS IS IRRELEVANT , for i will become who i want to become .  “   he believed that with all his heart . the man realized what he must do . HE WAS GOING TO PROVE TO HIMSELF THAT HE DESERVED TO LIVE !

                                                  independent, private & selective. written by spencer.

[mindsculpt-blog1]

gravely:

@mindsculpt  ☾  ⌈  sc.  ⌋

❛   remarkable.   ❜

she finally decides, having been previously at a complete loss for words. cocking her head to the side, the otherwise bland-faced girl takes on the appearance of a quizzical beagle, her large eyes alight with that killer curiosity. she truly does seem to be awe-struck. 

after a moment, her appalling smile breaks the lower half of her face. it’s a moment before she realizes it and thin hand flies to her mouth to cover it. 

❛   my apologies, i’ve just never in my life— i can’t properly form a sentence. i’ve heard of legilimency, one can knock around in someone’s head and try to guess things but you—   ❜

          IT WOULD SOUND AWFULLY CONCEITED if he said this wasn’t the first time --- and likely wouldn’t be the last --- someone was in awe of his . . . ability , so he refrains , and instead fixes his gaze firmly on a particularly bland spot on the wall adjacent to him . he’s smiling , though ; it’s not often he uses this for harmless games . his mind is the most potent weapon jace has , and he is MORE than aware of this . it feels almost . . . disrespectful , playing around like a child but myrtle seems so entertained he can’t help but smile a little himself .

          “   it’s , ah --- it’s fine , you’re fine .  “  he rubs his hands together , picks at a stray thread on the hem of his sleeve , anything to keep his hands busy .  “   i can do a lot , actually . if i concentrate enough , i can do a lot . it’s , um ---  “  he recalls being dangled over a ledge , forcing his way into the mind of his tormentor , his anger at how SMALL and HELPLESS he looked through the other boy’s eyes ( he was hospitalized for weeks afterwards ; it wasn’t the first time jace felt that he hated himself , but it WAS the first time he’d hated himself with such deep intensity ) .  “   --- it’s . all a work in progress , though . i’m still learning .  “

[mindsculpt-blog1]

jace’s narrative is so, so important to me because like.... him being autistic-coded aside, it’s really nice to have a story about someone that struggles with depression in a way that’s not like. romanticized and it’s something that affects them throughout their narrative n isn’t just a plot point convenience, and the way it’s written is very believable and realistic. but looking at the fact that he IS autistic-coded it’s ALSO great to have a story about an autistic character in a position of leadership, who isn’t stripped of their autonomy and isn’t fully dependent on the allistic characters around them. and then just???? watching him, over time, grow from this bratty self-centered little asshole into a strong, determined leader is.......... it’s good. i love it. great concept 

[mindsculpt-blog1]

          "   WHOEVER I WAS IS IRRELEVANT , for i will become who i want to become .  “   he believed that with all his heart . the man realized what he must do . HE WAS GOING TO PROVE TO HIMSELF THAT HE DESERVED TO LIVE !

                                                  independent, private & selective. written by spencer.

[mindsculpt-blog1]

i’ve talked about this like 8000 times since i made this blog but like. honestly, the saddest and most telling thing about jace’s relationship with liliana is after nicol bolas fucking. obliterated his memory and he spent months on an island by himself, hallucinating his friends as manifestations of all his past insecurities. he didn’t even recognize liliana, but even seeing her out of the corner of his eye made him anxious. and then when he finally talked to the hallucination version of her, she just. completely demeaned him and while she would never say any of that shit out loud, and she DOES care for him in her own really warped way, it’s just so sad to me that that’s how his subconscious interpreted their relationship.

[mindsculpt-blog1]

Why are you telling me this?

          “   WELL —  “   he starts , pausing for a moment , only a little miffed his latest university-worthy lecture was so rudely interrupted .  “   because what i have to say is important . everything i say is — that’s a joke , by the way . i’m joking . “ 

↳ QUESTION STARTERS : ACCEPTING

[mindsculpt-blog1]

mindsculpt:

write more autistic characters you cowards

[mindsculpt-blog1]

another jace i drew last night that is also my constant mood

[mindsculpt-blog1]

mindsculpt:

WHO IS JA.CE BELE.REN ?  a quick guide for probably all of my followers.

jace is a young human mage from a plane called vryn. he has the innate ability of telepathy, which is an extremely super duper rare occurrence according to mt.g lore. on top of that, he’s a magical prodigy, and he studied with a sphinx (who, in revised lore for jace, was using him to gather information so the sphinx could sell that information to warring factions in order to keep his job). 

after a pretty damn traumatic experience where jace engaged his former mentor in a dramatic as fuck telepathy battle, he completely destroyed the sphinx’s mind and fucked up his own memory. because of the stress of this event, he accidentally threw himself from his home plane to a place called ravn.ica.

“but ronnie, what the fuck are you talking about with all this ‘planes’ shit????” a major part of mt.g lore are plan.eswalkers — people that have the ability to travel through the multiverse. most of the pivotal characters in mt.g are planeswalkers, and jace is one of them . 

back to the other shit though: in rav.nica, jace made a name for himself by using his telepathy to find out secrets from various rich people to blackmail them with and extort money from them. he had it pretty damn good, and it’s part of where he got his shitty sense of fashion, because he started to dress in a way that made him seem Rich and Mystical. 

eventually this shitty dude named tezz.eret sent some freaky creatures to attack jace as a weird ass way of inviting him to join his pseudo-mercenary group. even though it seemed kinda fucked up, jace accepted and then subsequently spent a couple years being pretty viciously abused and tortured every time he fucked up which was probably a lot. 

in the meantime, he sees an entire village get massacred (which he gets beaten for by tez.zeret even tho it wasn’t his fault), gets one of his friends killed and he met this necromancer named lilia.na whom he had a pretty brief relationship with because it turned out she was trying to manipulate him for her own gain, i.e, bringing him to this nasty ass dragon in exchange for getting a demon she sold her soul to or some shit killed. 

basically, poor kid can’t catch a break.

for the sake of keeping this as condensed as possible, i’m not gonna go into EVERYTHING that’s happened to him, but basically a lot of terrible shit happens, part of it is jace’s fault, he makes a lot of Bad Decisions and eventually becomes the living embodiment of a peace treaty, which he dislikes because it means he has to do a LOT of paperwork and listen to people complain all day. he does his best to avoid this job as much as possible.

currently in the storyline, his entire memory has been wiped by the evil ass dragon his ex gf tried to hand him over to. now he’s a pirate or some shit. he knows what an albatross is, but not his own name. 

as a person, he’s a pretty sad kid. he’s seen a lot of shit, been through a lot of shit, done a lot of shit. he has some minor issues grasping reality and would probably be the kind of person to put africa by toto on repeat and dissociate for 3 hours straight. he’s kind of a slacker because he’s never really had to work for anything, since his telepathy makes life pretty easy. he also has a difficult time getting close to people, because he travels a lot and often gives people a fake name because there’s no point in them trying to get to know him. also he apparently hates broccoli, and also crocodiles because his ex gf summoned a bunch of zombie crocodiles once and it was terrifying. 

[hawkeyedinc]

mania ( 2018 ) — fall out boy sentence starters.

STAY FROSTY ROYAL MILK TEA.

i think i got too many memories getting in the way of me.

some princes don’t become kings.

you only get what you grieve.

the only thing stopping me is me.

it seems like the whole damn world went and lost its mind.

all my childhood heroes have fallen off or died.

even at the best of times i’m out of my mind.

THE LAST OF THE REAL ONES.

i was just an only child of the universe, and then i found you.

you are the sun and i am just the planets.

you were too good to be true.

what’s inside you?

i know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as i do.

you’re the last of a dying breed.

i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me.

i’m here in search of your glory.

there’s been a million before me.

my head is stripped just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times.

i’m here at the beginning of the end.

if they find you, i will protect you.

i’m done with having dreams.

you drain the fear from me.

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T.

i never really feel a thing.

i woke up.

i took too many hits off this memory.

i need to come down.

hold me tight.

hold me tight, or don’t.

this isn’t how our story ends.

i got too high again.

i love you to death.

i can’t pretend we were lovers first.

were we ever friends?

i’m past the limit.

the distance between us sharpens me like a knife.

WILSON ( EXPENSIVE MISTAKES ).

i was gonna say something that would solve all of our problems.

i got drunk and forgot what i was talking about.

there’s nothing more cruel to be loved by everybody.

there’s nothing more cruel to be loved by everybody but you.

i’m gonna run away and never see any of you again.

i hope the roof flies off and i get blown to space.

i always make such expensive mistakes.

you’re the eighth wonder.

i’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.

i’m on the wrong side of paradise.

i didn’t plan on showing up at all.

i hate all my friends.

i miss the days when i pretended with you.

CHURCH.

if you were church, i’d get on my knees.

you’re holy to me.

take the pain.

you’re doomed but just enough.

i love the world but i don’t love the way it makes me feel.

it’s getting hard to know what’s real.

i’m just a human trying to avoid certain doom.

HEAVEN’S GATE.

if there were any more of me, i’d give it to you.

one look at you and i’m on that faded love.

i’m a missile that’s guided to you.

go out in the world and start over again.

would you give me a boost?

i got dreams of my own.

i want to make your dreams come true.

please come through.

you’re the one habit i just can’t quit.

CHAMPION.

we’ve made a mistake.

i’m back with a madness.

i’m the champion of people who don’t believe in champions.

i got nothing but dreams.

i’m just young enough to still believe.

i’m young enough not to know what to believe in.

if i can live through this, i can do anything.

i got rage every day.

the only thing i do is sit around and kill time.

SUNSHINE RIPTIDE.

i don’t even have my own attention.

you say don’t ever change, but you don’t like me the way i am.

don’t ever change.

the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me.

i’m just playing house.

i have no idea what i’m doing now.

there’s not atheists in foxholes.

the pressure is getting to me.

it’s time to throw in the towel.

you came in like a wave when i was feeling alright.

you are my truest feeling yet.

i love you so much.

i love you so much, it’s like oxygen.

i do the best with what i have.

YOUNG AND A MENACE.

we’ve gone way too fast for way too long.

we were never supposed to make it half this far.

i lived so much life.

i think god is going to have to kill me twice.

oops, i did it again.

i was young and a menace.

i woke up on the wrong side of reality.

there’s a madness coursing right through me.

i’m here flying off the deep end.

i’m here to become the best yet.

BISHOPS KNIFE TRICK.

i’m pedal to the metal.

this is my pity party.

these are the last blues we’re ever gonna have.

let’s see how deep we get.

the glow of the city will lead us back.

the glow of the city will lead us back to places we should have never left.

i don’t wanna live inside a cage.

i’m struggling to exist with and without you.

i know i should walk away.

i’m trying to get it all back.

i can’t seem to get my grip.