Neil Josten, who has only ever kissed a girl, who didnāt even like it enough to warrant trying again.
Neil Josten, who was beat by his mother for looking a bit too long at kids his age, who wasnāt given the chance to explore his sexuality but is realizing that there wasnāt much there to begin with.
Neil Josten who is surprised when he considers Andrew in that way.
Neil Josten, who doesnāt feel attraction to him at first. Who doesnāt even realize thatās what heās feeling until Andrew spells it out for him. Who does not know what itās like to be attracted to people like that.
Neil Josten whoās coming to the understanding that you canāt beat attraction out of people. That his mother wasnāt the reason he didnāt spare a glance at people as he got older. That itās a him thing. Because he never once felt like this with anyone before now. And kissing never felt like this.
Andrew Minyard who hates that he feels attraction. Who has a complicated relationship with physical attraction.
Andrew Minyard who has slowly come to accept that part of him bit by bit. Who can finally see that being gay wasnāt because he was assaulted as a child. That itās not and has never been his fault; that heās not like them.
Andrew Minyard who, even after accepting his attraction, does not get crushes. Who stares at his brother every time he shows interest in dating a girl, because he canāt understand why.
Andrew Minyard who doesnāt care enough to try to understand. Who is perfectly happy with hook-ups. Who sees romantic relationships as something disgusting.
Andrew Minyard who thinks, deep inside, that he might be wrong. That maybe they did break something in him. That he is incapable of love, something that is supposedly the most human feeling. Andrew Minyard who covers that fear up with knives and fake smiles and threats.
Andrew Minyard who meets Neil Josten and does not think he is anything different. Who slowly starts feeling things he didnāt before. Who finds himself confused by the knots in his stomach when he says to himself that Neil is just someone heās attracted to, because it feels wrong somehow. In a way it has never felt before.
Andrew Minyard who is convinced the medication has finally broke him. That it has started making him feel things he doesnāt.
Andrew Minyard who dreads returning to Palmetto because he thinks he wonāt feel it anymore. Because heās grown too attached to the idea of liking him to go back and feel nothing again.
Andrew Minyard who is surprised when he sees Neil. Not because of the change in appearance, though that does intrigue him, but because thereās still that feeling.
Andrew Minyard who begins to wonder if maybe he was never broken in the first place.
Kevin Day who does not understand attraction. Who is confused by the concept of crushes as a child and bewildered by the idea of attraction as a teen.
Kevin Day who excuses his lack of crushes with his love of Exy. Who never has to deal with his lack of feelings because he simply does not notice their importance. They do not have relationships in the Nest. He is not pressured to date by Riko (quite the opposite in fact). He doesnāt see his lack of those feelings as anything other than logical; why would he date when thatās time he could be spent practicing?
Kevin Day who sleeps with Thea in front of Riko and finally understands that he doesnāt feel something others do. Who lays there, bored, wishing this would go faster so he could practice his shots.
Kevin Day who starts noticing the differences between himself and others after that. Who sees his future teammates sneaking off with people after practice. Who is no longer just annoyed but also concerned. Even more so when Riko starts talking about the issues with gay people on their team.
Kevin who starts feeling shame over it for the first time in his life.
Kevin who starts dating Thea because he thinks itās what people expect of him. That he SHOULD like her; sheās good at Exy and smart and, objectively, pretty.
Kevin Day who is an awful boyfriend because he does not see the point in relationships. Who sees Thea only as a means to an end and not a meaningful relationship.
Kevin Day who does not feel any different in these fields when he meets Andrew and Neil, but still feelsā¦ safe.
Kevin Day who will likely never experience attraction but still finds himself drawn to Andrew and Neil more than other people.
Kandreil who do not experience attraction like most other people, but find love (in whatever form) in each other.
Kandreil who live with each other as adults but do not put extraneous labels on each other because they know who they are and what they are to each other, even if that confuses other people.
Kandreil who are not and never have been broken, to any degree.
Kandreil who donāt owe anyone an allo relationship because it would make them any more ācomfortableā
Aro-ace Kandreil who are finally happy in their own skin and wouldnāt give that up for the world.
