So I came across this post the other day...
and thought it was fucking great. It was written a long time ago…1993 I think. This girl was in high school when she wrote this. Kind of cool how all the shit she writes about is still relevant today. Coming of age, sex, depression, female stereotyping… the list goes on. It’s so different now, us millennia’s spend so much time blogging our life stories for other people to read, “we are internet fiends” (Binnie 61). But she wrote this in a private diary, just for herself…which also makes me wonder what asshole took her diary and published it on the Internet. Whatever. I wanted to share it cause even though it’s not dealing with trans stuff, I think there are some valid lessons here about living life as queer person. As I’ve said many times, when I was a teenager, I had no idea what was going on with me, didn’t realize I was trans. I just felt weird, but thought it was no big deal to feel that way, because all teenagers feel weird right? Anyways, this girl was clearly an outsider, different than me of course… but fighting the same kind of battle. Trying to find her place amongst other people in this word, all while trying to figure herself out. I guess everyone has their own shit to deal with. I also like this whole Wicca, tarot card thing she had going on. Maybe I should start that. -Maria
I think this card means I should accept that Lisa and I are no longer best friends. For a while now we have been growing apart, I barely see her anymore. She’s always with her boyfriend or Anna Canard, and honestly I don’t really even miss her. I’d be more then happy to never see her again. But that doesn’t mean much.
I don’t even care that she likes to spend all her time hanging out with Anna, that girl has a bigmouth.
Besides, Lisa always spews negative comments about everyone, and makes me seem like the idiot. She also consistently tries to shove her opinions down my throat. She’s full of crap. Most of what she says contradicts her actions, so of course I’ve been trying to avoid her. She’s all about being empowered, and an independent person, but she’s notorious for calling people names like idiot or sluts.
Being called a slut, is most definitely supposed to be derogatory…but maybe in high school being a slut is not a bad thing? She’s basically obsessed with Anna, and my new friend Katie told me she’s a slut.
So who knows, it seems as though being a slut can sometimes be considered a good thing, depending who you are I guess. I didn’t like it much though. There was that one time when I was called a slut for a whole week. “Scott Bouffant marked me in grade nine with a disgusting hickey that didn’t go away for a week… he never even called me afterwards because I wouldn’t give him a hand job- BECAUSE I JUST MET HIM!” (Tamaki 124). Ugh.
I find it ironic, that people are always stereotyping women as overemotional, but with my parents it’s totally opposite. My mom doesn’t even believe in broken hearts, she says they can’t be broken because “Your heart is a muscle” (10). She also doesn’t believe in love, she thinks “love is no paycheck” (65). My dad is opposite. He believes in love. I guess the conventional gender roles are reversed when it comes to my parents. I kinda like it though. “The only time my mother cries is when she is watching Sisters. That is totally bizarre” (110). I don’t really cry either, I find other ways to handle my emotions.
I guess you could say I have pretty strong female role models in my life. My mom may be a pain, but at least she’s not some pushover wife. I guess it’s technically weird that she’s like that, but everyone is weird. Right?