Wanderings and Whimsy

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 9/10 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Victor Victoria (1982) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand/Carole "Toddy" Todd Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand, Norma Cassidy, Carole "Toddy" Todd Additional Tags: Romance, Historical Inaccuracy, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Accidental Voyeurism, Suicidal Thoughts, Period-Typical Homophobia Summary:

All angels can sing, simple fact. A God-given gift as it were. A voice perfectly suited for celestial harmonies. But what came out of Aziraphale’s mouth was not a celestial harmony. It was pure sin-and-seduction jazz.

    Crowley was given the assignment to guard an up-and-coming gangster in Chicago. When that assignment takes him to Paris, he comes face-to-face with the angel he hasn't spoken to in over seventy years.

Aziraphale had an assignment that didn't go according to plan. Now she's in Paris as a fake female impersonator, which brings her back into the orbit of a certain demon.

The two are finally going to talk things out, or they would if a certain up-and-coming gangster wasn't getting in the way.

[themoonmothwrites]

I don't do a lot of political reblogging, and while I hope it's already obvious from my writing, I just wanted to make it crystal clear anyway: this is a trans-friendly blog, and terfs are not welcome here.

Trans rights are human rights.

[antikate]

[thehmn]

A long time ago I read a Bible, flipping though it looking for all mentions of wolves and dogs (I was working on a story about a religious werewolf at the time), and I remember coming across a story about a man meeting an angel. It said the man saw a young, handsome guy (the angel) and “followed the dog”.

I didn’t get it at the time. Why did they call the angel a dog?

Many years later I learned that “dog” is Biblical slang for a common male prostitute, so apparently the angel was posing as, well, a male prostitute for some reason.

I can for the life of me not remember in which book and I’ve tried searching for it but haven’t been able to find it. I definitely remember reading it though because it stuck out as being weird to me at the time.

Also, because I’m terrible I used Medieval angel art as inspiration for this.

EDIT: Angels being sexless is a later idea. In the Bible they are definitely men with dicks. That’s where nephilim come from.

[doktorgirlfriend]

The Riddler hijacks the local TV airwaves and appears onscreen holding a comically long roll of paper. After dramatically clearing his throat, he proceeds to read from it.

“The following is a list of people who can suck it. Number One: The Joker. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Number Two: Cluemaster. Fuck you, you stole my bit, and I will be like a plague unto your house. Number Three: King Tut. You also stole my bit, but did it while killing people and got me arrested for murder. Also, I’m, like, 93% sure you’re a white guy and your costume is racist.

“Number Four: The Scarecrow. I know you ate my leftover Chinese, Jon, even though I wrote my name on it. I was saving that for lunch. I had to eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a five-year-old. It was all you had in the hideout. For fuck’s sake, go shopping, not all of us can live like a bridge troll.

“Number Five: The Penguin. You- No, no, wait, wait… That one should be crossed out. He replaced that and apologized. Never mind, Oswald, you’re fine. Drinks at 7:00 tomorrow, right?

“Anyway, where was…? Ah, yes. Number Six: The Mad Hatter. You carded me and left me like that for six hours because I, and I quote, ‘would not stop talking about Mythbusters.’ Well, excuse me for trying to make intellectually stimulating conversation on a level you could understand. I suppose every time you prattle on about mome raths and borogoves it’s goddamn Shakespeare? Well… Well, it’s Carroll, but… Oh, you know what I mean!

“Number Seven: Catwoman. You left me hanging by one hand from a ledge five stories up and holding a twenty-pound bag of jewels and very pointy  objets d'art while you ‘distracted’ the Dark Knight. I know you were making out with him, Selina. You were gone for fifteen minutes. My shoulder almost dislocated. Very unprofessional.

“Number Eight: Kite Man.”

Here the Riddler pauses, lifting his narrowed gaze to glare at the camera, voice dropping to an ominous tone.

“You know what you did…”

His demeanor shifts quickly, and he’s back to reading from his list almost cheerfully.

“Number Nine! Th-”

He’s interrupted by a crashing noise in the background and looks over his shoulder just an instant before a deep voice angrily growls, “Riddler!”

“Oh, for the love of-” He turns to glare at the camera, speaking quickly. “Number Nine: Batman! Interrupting me while I’m on television making very important- Hm-mmph!”

He’s reduced to muffled curses as a black gloved hand covers his mouth and pulls him out of frame. The camera tilts, a cracking noise is heard, and the broadcast turns to static.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

KITE MAN’S CRIMES WERE NUMEROUS AND TERRIBLE

[rouge-fox-expanded]

If I were batman I’d give him like a five minute warning, because this actually sounds theraputic.

Batman: Riddler, you’ve hijacked the TV airwaves and you know that’s wrong but I think this is actually theraputic. So I’m giving you five minutes, and then I’m taking you to Arkham

Robin: Geez get a facebook account for this crap, hell if you wanna vent to millions of strangers just get youtube.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“RIDDLER YOU CAN’T JUST GO ON TV AND SCREAM AT PEOPLE

THAT’S WHAT YOUTUBE IS FOR”

[beka-tiddalik]

Riddler takes this advice. He gets his own youtube channel called RiddleMe_Th15. It starts out as being purely therapeutic, a platform for publically calling out those who have annoyed him. Then someone leaves him a pathetically easy riddle to solve in the comments, and he spends his next segment ranting about it, and then posing a better one.

This starts a dialogue with a number of other youtube users who both attempt to answer his riddles and pose their own riddles in return.

Riddler has found his people, and his hit count is climbing.

[failure-to-adult]

Seriously, Riddler would KILL IT (metaphorically speaking) on YouTube.  He just does those weird animated puzzle videos where he poses lengthy, overly complicated puzzles, game theories, and riddles, then gives away…fuck I don’t know…Amazon or iTunes cards to whoever gets them right. “Riddle me this: How can I ensure there are more videos like this one?  The answer, my little quest solvers, is simple: Like and subscribe, and consider donating to my Patreon!  Which isn’t much of a Riddle, but seriously I’m down to eating crackers and ramen right now and YouTube keeps demonetizing my videos because I used to be a supervillain.”

[doktorgirlfriend]

Bringing this back because “YouTube keeps demonetizing my videos because I used to be a supervillain” has to be shared and because I have some followers who have not experienced The Riddler Post.

Seriously, if you ever need a good time, just read all the responses in the notes. This post still ranks as one of the best things I’ve ever done.

[angel-starbeam]

Batman sees all of this and donates a substantial amount. He still can’t believe YouTube was the answer all along.

[therobotmonster]

This is especially true with BTAS Riddler. 

“Riddle me this… who’s the biggest asshole in games development this side of Ubisoft? It’s Daniel Mockridge who screwed the dev team, myself included, out of our royalties for Riddle of the Minotaur-”

Two days later Jim Sterling is calling Mockridge out, there’s a gofundme for the other people on the dev team, and Nigma’s halfway to funding the spiritual sequel on Kickstarter.

“Okay, more backer questions… Puzzlemaster323 sent says “Riddle Me This, will there be VR support.”, and I say of course there is! Ten years ago I trapped Batman and Robin a VR version of the first game and I threw that rig together in two months. We’ve worked out the motion sickness problems for 90% of users and the game will not kill you for real if you die in the game, but hardcore players can set it to give them a harmless jolt if they’re into that kind of thing.” 

[itswalky]

The Scarecrow: “I *did* eat his leftover Chinese.  It’s messed up that he knows.”

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Haunting, POV Outsider, Established Relationship Summary:

Thanks again to chewb for beta'ing this for me.

For @zadusk

[neil-gaiman]

pssst, mike pence is beelzebub lord of the flies pass it on

Beelzebub is so much hotter. And smarter. And more trustworthy. 

[wsswatson]

Why is it always ‘queer people are projecting their identities onto characters’ and never ‘straight people are presuming that their identity is the default’?

[seriousflightrisk]

I COULD NOT REBLOG THIS FAST ENOUGH

[minervamoon66]

Louder for the people in the back!

[drarry]

Okay Cannibalism aside

snooty, pampered man who wears designer clothes and attends the opera and hosts five-course dinners with those in the academic community who respect and envy him while he quotes Archaic Latin at them

falling for

outdoorsy, cabin-living fly fisherman who hasn’t combed his hair in probably five years, wears nothing but comfy sweaters and adopts stray dogs constantly until he has a pack of them following him at all times

is like the greatest dynamic

[hannihumor-blog]

you know its gonna be a great post

when it starts with

“cannibalism aside”

[minervamoon66]

"cannibalism aside" life goals

[vodkasam]

please reblog this if your blog is safe for asexuals

(an ace safe space)

[kathrynthejaneway708090-archive]

My blog is hate-free and safe for everyone❤

[grace-among-the-stars-deactivat]

Everyone welcome

[bizships]

Everyone is welcome to my blog!

[officialconsultingdetective]

Everybody is welcome here … you are accepted for who you are.

[minervamoon66]

Absolutely!  Everyone welcome here!

[minervamoon66]

Snektember Day One: Sunbathing. 

@puppy-bums @writingelizabeth

[janeaustentextposts]

If none of them married, how desperate would the Bennett girls actually have been?

Well the only dowry they have is £50 apiece from their mother’s small inheritance, per year; so that’s a total of £250 generated by Mrs. Bennet’s inherited investments per annum.

The Dashwoods (four women) are living on £500 a year when they are forced to live in Barton Cottage (with good-will making the rent presumably ridiculously low thanks to Sir John Middleton’s good nature, to say nothing of all the dinners and outings he invites the ladies to, which will help them economize on housekeeping costs for heavier meals.)

So there would be six Bennet women left to live on half as much as the Dashwoods are barely scraping by on. £250 is roughly considered enough to keep ONE gentleman at a barely-genteel level of leisure (presuming he does not keep a horse or estate or have any major expenses beyond securing his own lodgings/clothes/meals at a level becoming of a gentleman.)

None of the Bennet girls have been educated well enough for them to be governesses to support themselves, so…yes, their situation would heavily rely on mega-charity from others to just help them survive, much less maintain them in the lifestyle they’ve been accustomed to. The Dashwood women have NO social life beyond the outings provided by Sir John and the offer of Mrs. Jennings to host the older girls in London–otherwise they’d be stuck in their cottage, meeting absolutely no eligible men, creating a cycle of being poor and unmarried and too poor to meet anyone with money they could marry.

If the Bennet girls don’t at least have ONE of them marry well enough to help the rest before their father dies, they are really, truly, deeply fucked.

They may joke about beautiful Jane being the saviour of the family, but…it’s true. Mr. Bennet failed his daughters several times over in A) presuming he’d have a son, B) not saving money independently from his income to support his family after his death when it became clear he wasn’t going to have a son, C) not educating them well enough to enable them to support themselves in even in the disagreeable way of being a governess, D) not making any effort to escort his daughters to London or even local assemblies to help their matrimonial chances because he just doesn’t feel like it, E) throwing up his hands and shrugging when faced with the crises of Mr. Collins and Wickham.

Much as we are relieved on a romantic level that Mr. Bennet’s support of Elizabeth saves her from parental pressure to accept Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet is NOT A DICK for pushing for the match, because on a material level it very much means they get to KEEP THEIR HOUSE and gain a connection to the powerful patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh, which could be VERY advantageous for the other unmarried girls.

And the scandal of Wickham very nearly scuppers the chances of ANY of the other girls, and Wickham is a further DRAIN on the family finances, not a man who is going to substantially be able to support them. It is SUCH a disaster, and of course there’s not much Mr. Bennet can do until they are found, but he’s away in London and doing…what, exactly? Mr. Gardiner takes over and manages everything and Mr. Bennet seems happy to just let him.

Mr. Bennet does the ABSOLUTE LEAST, and actively damages his children’s futures by his inaction AND by his one action to support Lizzie’s individual needs being prioritized over the collective gain, which…I mean, Lizzie is going to be JUST as homeless and destitute as her sisters when he dies, so much good being Dad’s Favourite is going to do her. :/

[hillnerd]

£50 is around £4200 now, so about £21,000 for 6 women to live on today for the Bennets.

The Dashwoods at £500/year are at about £42,000 for 4 women to live on today.

Mr bennet definitely messed up, and mrs b deserves way more respect for the immense amount of pressure she’s under

[mythologicalmango]

I wrote an entire essay about this my last year of school, and my teacher thought I had lost the plot. He was my most hated teacher for other reasons, and this did not help his case.

[randomsquirrel42]

I am Here for the Mrs. Bennet Defense Squad. Yes, she can be unsubtle in a major way, but she is also terrified of the alternative outcome. However, for all her lack of tact, she is also hella strategic, as demonstrated by setting up an “oh no I’m stuck in your house” romance trope situation for Jane and Bingley. She’s a clever lady, and she sees exactly what kind of shitty situation they’re in, and she can’t get her husband to do anything.

It’s really easy to read Mrs. Bennet’s inability to be subtle about anything as a sign of stupidity or inability to understand “society” (and the Bingley sisters are inclined to do this and link it to her very middle-class family because of classism) but she is literally panicking at all times about a very real concern, and everyone is just rolling their eyes. No compassion for her poor nerves indeed!

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 7/9 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Victor Victoria (1982) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand/Carole "Toddy" Todd Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), King Marchand, Norma Cassidy, Carole "Toddy" Todd Additional Tags: Romance, Historical Inaccuracy, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Accidental Voyeurism, Suicidal Thoughts Summary:

All angels can sing, simple fact. A God-given gift as it were. A voice perfectly suited for celestial harmonies. But what came out of Aziraphale’s mouth was not a celestial harmony. It was pure sin-and-seduction jazz.

   Crowley was given the assignment to guard an up-and-coming gangster in Chicago. When that assignment takes him to Paris, he comes face-to-face with the angel he hasn't spoken to in over seventy years.

Aziraphale had an assignment that didn't go according to plan. Now she's in Paris as a fake female impersonator, which brings her back into the orbit of a certain demon.

The two are finally going to talk things out, or they would if a certain up-and-coming gangster wasn't getting in the way.

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Disposable Demon/Hoverboard Angel Characters: Disposable Demon (Good Omens), Hoverboard Angel Additional Tags: Fluff, Meet-Cute, First Crush Summary:

“So? I held up my end of the bargain,” said the demon, stepping closer. His voice pitched lower as he added, “Your turn.”

Written for the Go-Events NTA Round 7:Rare Pairs

And now I ship them.

[vespaaurinkos]

aziraphale: crushes are the worst

crowley: yeah, whenever i'm near someone i have a crush on, i start acting stupid

aziraphale: you're always acting stupid, crowley

crowley: yup, don't think about that too hard

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Wingfic, Wings, Wing Grooming, Established Relationship, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens) Summary:

Crowley watched Aziraphale close the last of the drapes, standing there in only his shirt and trousers, then pad across the carpet on his bare feet. He felt a swell of contented joy at the sight, at the all of it. They were here. It might have taken the whole of their Earthly existence and a near-Apocalypse, but they’d made it. They were here. They were safe. And, most importantly, they were together.

“You first, Angel,” said Crowley, patting the chair beside the wine.

“Are you sure?” asked Aziraphale as he always did. “I don’t mind grooming you first.”

  Unapologetic domestic fluff with a side of emotion.

[minervamoon66]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling & Adam Young Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling, Adam Young (Good Omens), Hastur (Good Omens), Ligur (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Madame Tracy (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating, There's A Tag For That, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Funny how life can change your plans.

Twenty years ago Anthony Crowley and Aziraphale Eastley were two rising stars in the Figure Skating word. Now Aziraphale is coaching Adam Young for Britain and Crowley finds himself agreeing to coach Warlock Dowling for the U.S.

As their skaters confront each other on the ice, these two will confront old emotions, and possibly rekindle a few.

[smileythesnake]

NO YOU CANT DO THAT

[minervamoon66]

“There’s a snake in my flute!”