Admitting Defeat - But Not Giving Up
Guys... I've hit an all-time low.
If you've been keeping up with what's happening in the US right now, or if you're even passingly familiar with the general thrust of US politics, you'll know what I'm talking about. But here, let me explain.
Our Glorious Leader, Orange Cheeto Man, Mango Mussolini, Tangerine Dictator - I'll say it outright, Donald J. Trump, the Fascist - and his people are moving so fast and being so violent and breaking things so thoroughly that I can't keep up. And that's the point. They have planned and designed their actions to have this effect: to be so overwhelming and so frightening that we can't fight back because the human brain simply can't take in that much information in the face of anxiety and fear and uncertainty.
And it worked. They beat me. This morning, I woke up and cried like a fucking baby because I was afraid that my spouse might end up in a Trumpist concentration camp. I'm disabled. I can't work, and the government doesn't seem all that interested in giving me the money I need to continue living under a capitalist system. This administration is on the brink of stripping me of everything that makes my life livable and then removing my means to stay alive, not because I've done anything wrong, but because I exist.
My fear is paralyzing me. My anxiety is preventing me from functioning. Daily tasks like doing the dishes and folding the laundry are becoming unmanageable because staying on top of the news drains me so thoroughly that I don't have the energy for anything else.
But I want you to know that if you're in the same boat as me, that's okay. The fact that we can't make the frankly super-human effort to process all their shit and do all the things we want to do to keep them at bay is more of a reflection on them than it is on us. It is a blatant flag being waved from the top of a mountain of shit, screaming "we are the bad guys - we are the invaders that can only accomplish what we want by manipulation and force and cheap tricks."
They want to ruin lives. They want people destroyed. They want people dead. No amount of hair gel or silk ties or pretty words can make us forget that.
Do Not Forget That.
I can't do what I set out to do - which was to at least provide others with the tools to act, if I couldn't act on my own. To facilitate community activism. To DO SOMETHING. I have been forced to delete my news apps, unsubscribe from my newsletters, stop listening to the radio. I can't handle it, if I want to keep living in the present moment.
But that doesn't mean I'm giving up.
I'm weak, and I know my limitations. I will need someone else who has the energy and the intelligence and the resources to tell me what I can do to help. I will need to wait for directions from someone who knows better than me.
But when that call comes, I will answer.
I promise right now that I will answer, whether it's showing up at a protest, or withholding my money from the businesses that support this regime, or picking up a weapon to join the revolution. When the time comes, I will answer the call.
And I hope that you'll join me.
Yours in hope, Echo








