Fanfiction that happens any time of year although winter is my favorite. The 100 and Bellarke mostly although I also love FDTD, Star Wars, GOT, TOG and ACOTAR.
I appreciate Half Bad so much for its representation of what it is to be mixed race. As I am mixed race I always find myself looking for works that accurately represent the situation that I find myself in. I should also say that I love it so much because he is mixed the way I am mixed, half black and half white and raised by the white side. Also the race war between the bloods and fairborns was so well done with neither side being what it is supposed to be. The bloods being ruthless indeed but in order to protect themselves. The fairborns raiding and killing under the guise of protecting themselves. Chef's kiss!
Half Bad shows us a boy who everybody is always trying to define. They always ask him what are you? Because they want to fit him in a premade hole and then sleep well at night. But they don't have a hole for him that he fits so it annoys them. He also gets vilified by both sides (I think that one is often overlooked in real life as I didn't realize it was a thing until it happened to me). He is too Blood for some and too Fairborn for others. What is he? The eternal question that is honestly nobody's business.
People always assume he is one thing (blood) while he identifies more with the other side (Fairborn) because that is how he was raised. So in the end he is accepted by neither. He also finds his own way to define himself by finding himself in the mix because he is neither one nor the other, he is both and he is the mix. I just think it's beautiful to see such an accurate representation of being mixed. I think often mixed characters are written by people who identify as one whole of something and so often the mixed characters are either exoticized or relegated to one side with a few half hearted attempts to cross over. Of course this is not backed by any research whatsoever...
Anyway, if you want to check out the mixed people's bill of rights here it is! It's a great read and changed my life.
I appreciate Half Bad so much for its representation of what it is to be mixed race. As I am mixed race I always find myself looking for works that accurately represent the situation that I find myself in. I should also say that I love it so much because he is mixed the way I am mixed, half black and half white and raised by the white side. Also the race war between the bloods and fairborns was so well done with neither side being what it is supposed to be. The bloods being ruthless indeed but in order to protect themselves. The fairborns raiding and killing under the guise of protecting themselves. Chef's kiss!
Half Bad shows us a boy who everybody is always trying to define. They always ask him what are you? Because they want to fit him in a premade hole and then sleep well at night. But they don't have a hole for him that he fits so it annoys them. He also gets vilified by both sides (I think that one is often overlooked in real life as I didn't realize it was a thing until it happened to me). He is too Blood for some and too Fairborn for others. What is he? The eternal question that is honestly nobody's business.
People always assume he is one thing (blood) while he identifies more with the other side (Fairborn) because that is how he was raised. So in the end he is accepted by neither. He also finds his own way to define himself by finding himself in the mix because he is neither one nor the other, he is both and he is the mix. I just think it's beautiful to see such an accurate representation of being mixed. I think often mixed characters are written by people who identify as one whole of something and so often the mixed characters are either exoticized or relegated to one side with a few half hearted attempts to cross over. Of course this is not backed by any research whatsoever...
Anyway, if you want to check out the mixed people's bill of rights here it is! It's a great read and changed my life.
Hey guys, sorry for this post. Apparently I have nowhere else to vent. I just can’t take it anymore.
So tonight I was out dancing and I was indeed inebriated (and I still am). And at the end my two friends and I were on our way home when 3 men came up to us to ask directions for clubs that were still open. My white friend answered in stilted Spanish (we are in Spain). She speaks very well, I think she was just surprised by their question. Anyway, they got their directions then they wanted to introduce themselves and said they were from a certain town and wanted to know if we knew it. I responded yes, I often go to a town near there. Apparently that wasn’t good enough because they responded with surprise that I knew how to say that one sentence. Of course I can speak Spanish. This is my second year here and it was my major in college. I don’t pretend to be a native speaker, but I can most certainly get by.
Of course they could believe that my white friend could speak but me, a black female, would have no chance. Then I got sassy and said of course I could. Why was it surprising? They, of course, acted like I as over reacting. (I might have been because I as drunk, but I like to think that when I’m drunk I just don’t have patience for that shit anymore.) Then when they left my friends were like, what’s wrong with you? And I just... could people try and empathize even to the slightest degree? I mean I guess they were drunk too, but when someone treats you like shit, it’s still shit whether you’re drunk or sober.
Then my one friend said it could have just been because I was a woman. But we were all women... what makes me different? I’m just so sick of not being believed by my friends and family and being told to let it go. I just can’t anymore. I have no tolerance because I have let people walk all over me for my whole life and apparently if you try that while I’m drunk I will flip my shit. All I want is to be respected and not immediately vilified when I get angry. I don’t think it’s that much to ask. I have watched many teachers realize that I actually know what I’m talking about because I am smart. I’ve seen their faces when it dawns on them. And I’ve seen assholes. I’m done being told to calm down. And I’m done being seen as stupid and emotional. If you can’t try to see me for who I am, then I most certainly don’t have time for you.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. Thank you for listening, I has nowhere else to scream. Thanks, love you, bye :)
So I haven’t posted anything in forever and I’m thinking of maybe trying my hand at some Jonsa fic... might be fun... but for now a status update. So I just moved to Spain and I have been here before for a year but I was very depressed for various reasons. One of the biggest reasons was that I made a close friend here who then proceeded to be a terrible person and I put up with it which I think is what hurt me most. I started dating my current boyfriend and I guess she liked him too even though she didn’t tell me... So when I started dating him she got very upset and stopped talking to me. But she still punished me by walking with me to and from class everyday in complete silence. Then we went on a preplanned 3 week vacation together and she pretended to be my friend again until we got back and then immediately went back to acting like I didn’t exist. Anyway I was very hesitant to come back to Spain because my feelings were so strong the last time I was here. After crying in the middle of the night several times and excusing myself to go cry in the bathroom in the middle of a meeting I feel so much better because she isn’t here and my life is settling down. I have a wonderful boyfriend who supports me and I promised myself 4 things on the plane here.
1. Take advantage of every opportunity to have fun
2. Say yes (Kinda the same as take advantage but I do enjoy saying no)
3. Make friends (I love friends I just get social anxiety and stuff so sometimes I have to push myself)
4. Don’t be afraid to cut out people that you don’t actually like (this was a big one)
With those 4 rules I hope I’ll be good! Anyway this drawing is a leaf and I like it and I just posted it because I don’t have any new fic... well I do but its like a North and South Bellarke AU and a Robin Hood AU so... Idk we’ll see. Any ideas for Jonsa? lol
It was so intense!!! Ok, so I have a lot of feelings and here they are. Feel free to scroll right on by this mess.
I love Clarke and her relationship with Madi! I wish we had seen a little more between the creepy stalker to instant daughter that we got. But, maybe we will get more later? It is only the first episode so I need to chill.
I love that Clarke got to scream and cry about how unfair it all was because my god that girl was an angel about taking all the blame and she NEEDED a good cry!
I LOVE Emori!!! She tries so hard and I want to KNOW more about how she and Murphy ended up that way.
Dad Bellamy is WAY hotter than I originally thought and I am so into the comfy atmosphere they have created there!
I love Monty and I feel so bad because I know he is going to have to be strong again... but he has no family members (besides Space Kru) left to kill so that’s a plus I guess?
I’m glad they all got a break.
I’m not going to lie. I was kinda upset when I saw Bellamy and Echo together. This episode has actually warmed me to her so much! (Bring that sword girl! You’re gonna need it even if I wish you didn’t.) But I still want Bellamy to be with Clarke because in my heart of hearts they are soul mates. I guess I just need to have faith, but, on the other hand, if they put off Bellarke for one more season I’m going to IMPLODE!!!!!!!! (I also don’t want Echo to get her heart broken. That doesn’t seem fair. She seems like she healed a lot and that might rip things open again?)
Overall, I’m just super excited for the next episode because: FEELINGS
So this is me and my snow since we had a snow day yesterday yay!!! :) I’m so excited for the premier, but it really hasn’t hit me yet that it’s coming soon which is probably good for my anxiety :) Happy bfsn!!!
Many in the fandom don't have children yet and so may not understand the relationship between a parent and a child( from the parent's pov) hopefully in the future when looking back on the show the parental love can be better understood.
I think many in the fandom are really focused on their own opinions, feelings, needs, experiences, intersections, pain, expectations, loves and general world view.
And that’s normal that we think about those things. And good. We should care about what we care about and who we are and what we believe.
We are important.
Everyone should have the chance to be heard and respected and validated.
However, we get into a problem when that belief in our own identity is seen as MORE IMPORTANT than anyone else’s identity. People group up together so their ideas and POVS are reinforced, and they begin to think they are Just and Righteous and True. And they start thinking that their feelings and opinions and experiences are universal and unquestionable.
And they also, by chance, go around invalidating OTHER people’s feelings, opinions, experiences, and identities.
It’s a trick. Learning to believe in yourself and have faith in your POV and also respecting other people’s realities.
And one way to manage that trick is to question your OWN beliefs as much as or MORE than you go around questioning others’. If you’re used to calling other people on their actions and beliefs, you should be AT LEAST as accustomed to examining your own. You actually CAN be wrong. Even though your opinion and POV is worthy, that doesn’t mean it’s infallible or perfect.
Check. Yourself.
Make sure you’re not talking from a place of invisible privilege. Make sure you’re not erasing someone else’s lived experience when you say that only yours is valid. Make sure you’re looking at the OTHER side of the equation, at how your ‘enemies’ might experience this situation, at how they might look at you.
Critical thinking can ONLY exist if you are also being critical about your OWN thinking. Question everything. Including yourself.
I have been thinking so much about this recently! I just binge watched Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and absolutely hated Van Hohenheim which I subconsciously acknowledged was because he was an absentee dad and my father and mother separated when I was pretty young. But at the end I was talking about it with my partner and he said “you never really had a chance of liking him.” And I was like huh... I have since made amends with my dad, but that is because he worked really hard to fix his relationship with my brother and I and be around us where before he hadn’t cared to do that as much.
I can definitely acknowledge Van Hohenheim had a redemption arc and at the end I didn’t hate him, but I still strongly disliked him. It will just never be within me to really like him because even though he struggled to save his sons, he never struggled to be, what I consider, a good dad (actually hanging out with his children and staying with them). But that is my personal bias and I know others see it differently. That being said, I would never impede someone else’s enjoyment of a character (I like bad guys too sometimes)!
I think the first step is to acknowledge other viewpoints and then analyze them. Like racism! I am a woman of color and I am racist because society is racist and everyone is a little bit. But I try to be on the lookout for when I am being racist analyze it and curtail whatever racist action, thought, or feeling I might have. But you can’t do that if you don’t acknowledge it first. Idk.
Sorry this wasn’t about the 100 so much...
Anyway, I super excited to see what actually happens with relationships and everything else in season 5!!!
So this is the first time I’ve done this but I guess here we go?! I’m so ready for the 100 to be back!!!!! It’s tearing me apart (Lisa)! Oh yeah, hi, I’m Ellie!
Please excuse this utter mess. I have no idea where it came from. But if you want to read about Clarke being a badass princess with a baton and think that Bellamy’s chubby froggy legs are cute then this is for you I guess? Enjoy!
The Princess and the Frog
Clarke didn’t mean to fall in love with the frog… it just sort of happened.
It all started in the spring when she had been on her way to visit Jasper and Monty in the woods. She stopped by the clear pond to cool herself down. As she stooped to scoop the water she heard clear as day, “oh, excuse me ma’am! I didn’t mean to get in your way!”
Clarke had never been called ma’am before. She looked around for the obviously mistaken young man. Instead she found a beautiful vibrant green frog about 10 inches from the light skirts covering her rear.
“Pardon me! I didn’t see you there Mr. Frog.” Clarke had heard of talking frogs, but had never met one before. He fascinated her, although he was probably just some poor man who got on the wrong side of an old woman in the woods.
As she bent over to pick him up, he croaked in discontent. He fit perfectly in her palm, his chubby legs scrabbling to stay in the center.
“What’s your name, Mr. Frog?”
“Bellamy Blake.” His croak was throaty. She wondered if his human voice had a little to do with it.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry for almost sitting on you.”
“That’s quite alright ma’am.”
“Oh, don’t call me that. It’s Clarke, if you please.”
Bellamy tilted his head and his eyes sparkled a little more.
“Clarke? As in Princess of Arkadia, Clarke?”
“The one and only.” She beamed at him, hoping he wouldn’t feel weird about her rank.
“Should I bow?” If it was possible, he looked a little grumpy.
“Of course not! We are friends aren’t we?” Maybe Clarke was pushing this just a little too much, but she wanted an excuse to keep holding him. He was very adorable.
“I thought a stranger just picked me up because I was cute. I didn’t know we were friends.”
Clarke gasped. “How did you know I thought you were cute?”
Bellamy croaked several times in a row. That must be what his laugh sounded like. “I didn’t, I was just trying to be cheeky.”
“And why would you want to do that?”
“Maybe I’m just mad about my present state.”
Clarke nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later.” He looked to the side and snapped his tongue out to catch a juicy fly. “Right now I’m just kind of hungry.” He winked at her.
“I think that would be very creepy if you were in your human form.”
“Well I guess that’s the one thing I have going for me.”
Clarke smiled at him. She thought he had many things going for him, but she probably wouldn’t enjoy being a frog either, so she let it go.
The next time they met it wasn’t Clarke who almost sat on Bellamy, it was Bellamy who landed on her skirt.
“Oh, excuse me, Ma’am!”
Clarke grinned. Only one frog would ever call her ma’am. “It’s alright. I understand the need to get away from predators.”
Indeed, there was a large fish that burst out of the pond right after Bellamy. “I would have been terribly sorry if that fish ate you.”
“Me too.” Bellamy cocked his head and his eyes twinkled. Maybe that was his froggy way of smiling. “What brings you to my pond again?”
“Your pond? I thought this was anyones pond.”
Bellamy croaked. “Of course all who pass are free to use it.” The glimmer went out of his eyes. “But I used to live just over the hill there with my sister. We would always come to this pond for water, or bathing, or playing.” Clarke didn’t know how he did it, but his face had taken on a wistful look.
“Well, I am here because I was just visiting my boyfriend. Excuse me, my ex-boyfriend.” She sighed and looked into Bellamy’s deep brown eyes. “It turns out he had a lot more love to give than I thought. He was just giving the extra to me.”
Bellamy croaked throatily. “Men like that don’t deserve to live happily ever after.”
Clarke laughed. “I wouldn’t go as far as that.” It was nice to have someone be so fierce that she could take a step back and let him protect her for a moment. “I believe I might have made a new friend out of it.”
“Really? How?”
“Well, you see, Finn Collins had a wonderful girlfriend. I’m not talking about me this time. Her name is-“
“Wait, you dated Finn Collins?” He looked incredulous.
“What about it?”
“He is a complete tool.”
Clarke laughed. “Indeed he is.” Bellamy’s face softened. “Anyways, as I was saying, his now ex-girlfriend Raven Reyes and I met about two weeks ago – at a tea party. She was particulary diverting so I wanted to get to know her better. We decided to hang out and she wanted to introduce me to her fiancee because she just knew that I would love him. Sadly, I already did.” Clarke paused to sigh.
“Go on,” Bellamy said softly.
After a deep breath Clarke continued. “Well, we both dumped him on the spot. I don’t know how he got it into his head that he could get us back, but he begged both of us to stay with him. Saying that he loved us both and needed us in his life.”
“What an idiot.”
“Yes! So, Raven and I decided that we needed each other more. I’m just on my way back from picking up all the things I left at his house. Raven and I did it together, but we live in opposite directions. So I just thought I would stop by this nice little pond here to rest my arms and see if a certain charming green frog was about.”
Bellamy croaked at that. “You think I’m charming?”
Clarke felt a light blush coming on. “Well you certainly try to be.” It was sweet, Clarke hadn’t known that frogs could blush before.
“Will I see you again, Princess?”
“It’s just Clarke, if you please.”
“But I like Princess so much better.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you next week, Toad.” She laughed as he croaked in protest.
The next week brought so much rain and foreign ambassadors that made escaping the castle impossible for Clarke. The week passed slowly and Clarke found herself wondering how Bellamy was doing more than she would like to admit.
The week after that as Clarke strolled around the palace gardens in a rare break between meetings she heard an oddly familiar croak.
She looked down at the fountain and caught a flash of vibrant green. “Bellamy?”
“What other enchanted frogs do you know?”
“Well I don’t know, you could’ve been just a normal frog.” But she was smiling. “Did you come all the way over here just to see me?”
He croak-coughed. “Well, not exactly. My sister actually works here now as a new mage in training.”
“Oh, do you mean Octavia?”
He looked slightly taken-aback. “Do you know her?”
“Of course. It is my business to know everyone in this castle and to see that it, and the country, runs smoothly.”
Bellamy didn’t respond.
“I’m sorry, did I say something to offend you?”
“No, I just didn’t know you cared so much.”
“Oh, you thought I was a carefree little princess who was only interested in tea parties and boys?”
“Well… I thought you were nice too…”
“Well I have news for you. I can like tea parties and boys, both of which I take great pleasure in, and rule a country because I’m a princess and that’s my job!” Clarke felt a little bad, she hadn’t meant to yell at him, but she was sick of everyone always underestimating her.
“I’m sorry. I get that.” Clarke was dubious, but he looked sincere. “No, I really do. Nobody takes me seriously as a frog and they always think I must have done something incredibly stupid to end up this way… they’re not wrong, but it’s not right all the same. And even before I was a frog, they’d judge be because of the color of my skin.”
Clarke stared. “I guess I don’t know what that is like. People may judge me as a woman and as a princess, but no one has ever looked at my skin and thought less of me for it. That must be hard.” A laugh bubbled up. “Sorry for being so somber all the time, those seem to be the only conversations we ever seem to have.”
Bellamy croaked good-naturedly. “Well a conversation goes both ways; it’s my fault too. I always feel serious when I come from seeing Octavia anyway.”
“Really?” Clarke was burning to ask the question, but she couldn’t. That would be rude.
“Yeah, she’s my only family, but she’s also the reason I am the way I am.”
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” Clarke wanted to stroke his little green sides.
“Oh, it’s not like that. She needed to train and I was silly enough to let her try to cut my hair with magic.”
“Oh!”
“Yes. It’s as ridiculous as that.”
“Well, I take it she has improved since then.” Clarke softened her words with a teasing smile.
“Of course, she has improved by leaps and bounds.” Pride shone in his muddy brown eyes.
“Of course,” Clarke echoed. She could get lost in those eyes. It sure was a good thing he wasn’t some foreign emissary who would try to take advantage of her. Even if he was, he wasn’t the type of man to do something like that.
“Ummm… Clarke?”
“Oh, yes sorry, I’m here.”
“Good,” he grinned. “I thought I might have lost you there for a minute. Thinking about something interesting?”
“Oh, not really.” Clarke found herself blushing. “When will I see you again? I have to get back to my meetings now.”
“I’ll meet you by my pond next Wednesday. We could go swimming together.” He winked awkwardly.
Clarke didn’t know why she was still turning red at his terrible attempts to flirt. “I’ll bring my bathing suit.” She smiled mischeviously and Bellamy’s vibrant green turned a brilliant red. She was much better at flirting than him. “See you then!” She turned around and dealt with all the foreign emmissaries and courtiers with a broad smile on her face for the rest of the day.
Next Wednesday rolled around and Clarke found herself by the pond, modest bathing suit in hand. She shouted for him, “Bellamy!” She found herself listening intently with a slight smile on her face for his telltale throaty croak.
Nothing. She called for him again. Nothing. Clarke was starting to worry. She found a nice dry log to wait on. After a while she dozed off.
Clarke flinched awake. A loud sound had woken her. She looked around for the source of the growl. Why did she have to fall asleep beside a pond in the middle of nowhere? Why was she so itchy? Where was Bellamy?
She heard a growl a little ways off in the woods and she felt unease settle like a hot stone in her stomach. It was probably just a scuffle between house cats. The growl grew louder until it ripped through the air. Definitely not house cats then.
Croak! The war cry filled Clarke with dread; what was Bellamy fending off? Clarke picked up her light cloak to grasp the jeweled dagger hidden within. A princess must be ready for every eventuality. She stepped lightly into the emerald canopy – it would be hard to spot Bellamy in here. The sun had lowered since she fell asleep, making sneaking up on others easier, but actually finding them harder. She squinted against the gloom, and as her eyes adjusted she saw clear as day Bellamy holding his own against a wolf.
Clarke froze. Bellamy let off another ferocious deep croak, one that could only come from an enchanted frog. “Bellamy!” She palmed her knife and slowly walked toward them, try to take up as much space as possible.
“Clarke, stay back!” He tried to maneuver himself between her and the skinny wolf who was obviously on his last legs. Why did he have to try and stare down the poor thing?
Clarke almost laughed. “I think I might have the better chance of defending myself than you in this fight.”
“You may be right, but I would not be a gentleman if I didn’t try to defend my lady.”
“Your lady? I am nobodies lady!” Clarke hated it when people tried to claim ownership of her.
“I am sorry to have offended you, but maybe we could have this conversation at another time?” The wolf had advanced during their conversation.
“You may be right,” she straightened. Then, “please excuse me.”
“Excuse wha-“ Bellamy started before he was interrupted with an earpiercing shriek that shook everyone to their bones. Clarke had always known that her voiced possessed power, that was why she excelled at her state duties. She just never knew it possessed this kind of power. The yell went on and on, Clarke almost didn’t want to stop. It felt so good to push out every frustration through her voice, a luxury she had never before allowed herself.
After what felt like a year, but was probably only 30 seconds, the wolf decided that the pretty green frog wasn’t worth his ear drums and he melted into the trees. Bellamy turned to face a heaving Clarke. “That was amazing!”
“Thank you.” Clarke felt herself start to bush, but hoped the redness in her face from the screem would cover it up. “I didn’t know I could do that.”
“I think you could do anything.” Bellamy turned a deep scarlet in the gloom.
Clarke turned. “I think we should return to the pond before he comes back with friends.” She kept her knife out.
“That sounds reasonable. Thank you for coming to my rescue.”
“Of course! What were you doing facing off against him anyway?” Clarke couldn’t think of a better way for a frog to get killed.
“Well… I was late to the pond as you know and when I arrived you were asleep. I thought you might be tired from all your duties so I wanted to let you sleep. After a while I heard some growling in the woods and went to figure out what it was. Turns out the wolf was hunting a bunny I had seen around before. Prey should stick together.”
“You were protecting a bunny?” Clarke asked incredulously. It sounded just like his insane sense of honor.
“Of course, I just said that. Although, I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. You came at just the right time.”
It hit Clarke then, how close she had come to losing Bellamy forever. “Good thing I did.” She smiled at him as they arrived back at the pond. “I think I should probably head back, that’s enough excitement for one day, and if I don’t return soon, they’ll send out a garrison.”
Bellamy winced. “I truly am sorry, I didn’t mean to endanger you.”
“Bellamy stop,” Clarke said forcefully, then softened. “Seriously, I can handle it, I won’t break, and I won’t let you break either.”
“Then all I have to say is thank you… and good night, princess.”
Clarke felt something warm and soft wrap up her middle with a lovely sqeezing sensation. “Goodnight… my love,” Clarke let the wind catch the last part, he didn’t need to know yet. “See you next week.”
Clarke floated through the week on a cloud. Is this what love did to someone? Distracted them terribly, while made them even more analytical than ever. She found herself staring out the windows during important state meetings, yet dissecting every conversation for hidden meanings in her spare time. She needed to pull it together.
One thing did pull her out of her reverie. She had a stalker. The guards had found him in the garden, making his way towards her private rooms. When he was hauled in front of her, he said that he had come to see her.
“Don’t you know me?” Something about his voice was familiar, but Clarke couldn’t quite place it.
“I’m sorry sir, I do not, and I will have to ask you to leave now as you need to be authorized to be on palace grounds unless you come during the allotted time for official petitions.” The guards then tossed the young, and rather good looking, man out on his rear so hard that his curls bounced.
Finally, Clarke found some time to visit the pond. It was a beautiful day so she had let her shawl slip down her shoulders on the way there. When she reached the pond she stopped cold in her tracks. Someone else was there. Clarke really didn’t feel like talking to anyone who wasn’t Bellamy at that moment, so she hurried to turn around and slip away.
She almost made it before her flight was rudely interrupted by the loud snap of a twig beneath her delicate foot. The man whipped around. “Wait!”
“Shit,” Clarke whispered beneath her breath.
A slight grin graced his freckled face. “That wasn’t very princess-like.”
“What do I care about being princess-like? I’m here to run the country, not be a fine piece of china.” Clarke cocked her head. “Wait. Do I know you?” The man relaxed a bit and stepped forward with a hand outstretch. Clarke drew out her knife. “You’re that man who tried to get into my rooms earlier! Stay back!”
“No, Clarke, it’s ok, it’s me!”
Clarke shook her head, he was clearly obsessed and dangerous if he went this far to find her. “I don’t know you, I suggest you let me leave before you get hurt.”
He giggled. The strange man with the enchanting curling chocolate brown hair actually had the audacity to giggle. “I have no doubt you could beat me in a fight, but I don’t want to fight you. I want to marry you.”
Clarke had had it. Even if his eyes were very familiar, she was not about to be abducted and made to marry a stalker. “You need to leave right now!” She whipped out her baton and made a wide stroke just short of his head.
This time he and his warm brown eyes actually took a step back and he held up his hands. “I’m sorry, that came out poorly. I just meant that I’m in love with you and- Shit, Clarke!” She had aimed another swing at him and this time she didn’t warn him. He cradled his arm. “I will leave but wait, damn it! It’s me! I’m Bellamy!
Clarke froze. His eyes and scratchy voice did seem familiar and slightly too sweet to be a kidnapper. “What?”
“I don’t know how it happened, but right after you left the last time I suddenly turned back into my human form.”
Clarke narrowed her eyes. “How do you know about Bellamy? Why are you here at his pond? Did you do something to him?”
The stranger shook his head ruefully. “You certainly are a formidable opponent, but I’m not your enemy. I’m your friend. I’m Bellamy.”
Clarke wasn’t fazed. “Prove it.” She swung her baton once more for emphasis. She would lay him out if he was lying.
He sighed gustily. “Fine, I’ll prove it.” He almost started to move again but Clarke flourished her knife and brought her baton up a little higher. He stayed rooted to the spot. “Ummm.. Finn!”
“About half the country knows that I dated Finn, gossip and all that.” Clarke snorted. She really was going to have to beat him to a pulp. He might be a cute pulp though.
“Right… But do they know that you befriended his ex-girlfriend Raven and that you love her with your whole heart. Do they know that you love your country almost more than anything and have an affinity for ponds where enchanted frogs who were magically transformed by a haircut gone wrong reside? Do they know that you defended a poor frog from a wolf last week and can scream bloody murder? Do they know that you think his chubby green legs are cute? Do they know that when you first met him, that you almost sat on him? Do they know how when you are passionate about something you’re eyes turn the fiercest blue I have ever seen? Do they know how you gave hope back to a lonely frog?”
Clarke slowly let her baton fall. Sure, his legs weren’t as cute in this form, but they surely weren’t ugly either. “Bellamy?”
His smile dazzled her. “Yes.” When he stepped closer she didn’t fend him off this time. Even as he cupped her face in his rough palm. “It’s me, I promise.”
“You want to marry me?” She gazed up at him with a slight quirk to her lips.
He laughed, “yeah, that part definitely could have gone better.”
“I think I know why you were transformed. I think it’s because I said that I loved you the last time we were together.”
He squished his eyebrows together. “I don’t remember you saying that, and I think that would be something I would definitely remember.”
Clarke blushed. “I may have whispered it to the wind. But I guess the wind has ears.”
“Maybe all it needed was the truth to be acknowledged.”
“Maybe.” She reached up to trace the freckles from his eyebrow down to his chin. “So this is your true form?”
“Did you like the frog better?”
“You were such a beautiful green color and had perfectly plump legs.” Clarke couldn’t help it, she pressed her lips to his. They were warm and soft and just froggy enough to let her know that after everything, he truly was Bellamy.
“Remember when I said I was mad about my state? Well I’m not because you never would have noticed me as a person, but I enchanted you as a frog.”
“Hey!” Clarke pulled back, slightly indignant. “I would have noticed you eventually!”
“Would that be before or after you kicked me out of the palace?” Bellamy grinned mischeviously.
“That’s not fair. Remember when I said you’d be creepy as a human? Well, guess what? You are. Like really truly creppy. Sorry I didn’t want to die by a creepy stalker.”
Bellamy laughed his rich deep laugh which Clarke could have sworn had a bit of his froggy croak still in it. “So, do you think you could marry an awkward flirt like me?”
Clarke smiled. “I think I could manage that. But we will have to work on your creepiness if you are going to be king.”
Bellamy pressed a kiss to her forehead, then rested his forehead on hers. “I think we could do that, together.”
“Together, my love.” Clarke intertwined their fingers. They were going home.
In which Bellamy and Clarke are WAYYYY too oblivious about being soulmates! Enjoy! I can’t wait for season 5!!!
Bellamy always knew that Clarke had a soulmate. It hadn’t kept him for toddling after crawling baby Clarke and it didn’t keep him from stumbling home now with his arm slung around her shoulders (for mutual, yet platonic, warmth) after a night with their friends in the best of the three bars in town. He let the alcohol make him more comfortable and stuck his nose in her hair, breathing her in and knowing he had to let her go.
“Wanna watch a movie, Bell?” She asked as she threw the door open and pitched her heels into a corner. Living together was a blessing and a curse as Bellamy loved to watch her stip down practically in front of him and then get cozy in fleece leggings and a huge sweater, but knowing that he’d never do anything about it. Maybe the sweater had once been his. Maybe he enjoyed that too much too.
“Of course, darling.” He grinned. When he was drunk he was always a bit more daring and Clarke seemed to like it too.
“I love when you call me darling.” As she started to lift her shirt over her head, he caught a glimpse of her soulmark and immediately looked away. He didn’t want to think that eventually he might have to step aside and let someone else grow closer to her. Of course he knew that soulmates were not always meant to last forever - relationships could still be unhealthy even if nature herself pulled two people together - but he knew how much of a romantic Clarke was. She would want to try, no matter who it was. He would support her through anything even if it made his heart crack.
Clarke flashed him a smile before twirling into her bedroom to finish changing. “Let’s watch a Christmas movie, yeah?”
Bellamy would say yes but he didn’t have to make it easy on her. “It’s almost February, the time for Christmas movies has passed, Clarke.”
“Yeah, but it’s still cold and there are lights and snow,” she called from somewhere within her room. “So much snow,” Clarke repeated. Bellamy could almost see the faraway look that must be on her face. Then she appeared at the door, dreamy look gone. “Admit it, it’s romantic, Bellamy.” Her eyes held a challenge that Bellamy didn’t quite understand.
He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s pretty. I just don’t understand why everybody thinks that being cold and having wet feet makes it romantic. Like you can just look at pretty lights and somehow fall in love, but in reality you’re just cold and need a good fire!” He ran a hand through his hair. Clarke’s soulmate probably liked being cold.
Clarke smushed her lips together, trying to hold back a smile. “Come on big boy, let’s go be warm by the fire and watch something romantic in the warmth.”
Bellamy blew out a breath. He didn’t really have anything against the Christmas season, he just didn’t like it that society dictated what was romantic. If he didn’t have his choice of soulmate, couldn’t he at least have his choice of what was romantic? He ducked his head and followed Clarke to the couch, tucking in next to her as she picked out a sappy movie about a young immature heiress who goes back to her hometown to deliver some letters for Christmas, learn an important life lesson, and fall in love.
Bellamy let his head fall on Clarke’s shoulder, determined to be happy even if friendship is all it would ever be. She had a soulmate and he would not mess that up for her (she didn’t even like him like that anyway). He would be happy with his best friend.
As Clarke walked to the diner to grab lunch with Raven the next morning she puzzled over why Bellamy simply refused to jump her bones. Maybe she was ugly.
It’s not like she wasn’t being completely obvious all the time. Hell, she practically undressed in front of him and he just looked at her like she was a dead fish. Last night was particularly frustrating. She had given all the signals and even wanted to watch a romantic movie with him and he just… sat there.
She sighed and slammed through the door.
“Oh dear, fighting with Bellamy’s soulmate again?” Raven greeted her.
“What? No!” Clarke slumped. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yes.” Raven raised an eyebrow.
“Just... When we got back from the bar, he was being so touchy so I, you know, did everything but jump on him and he just looked at me and didn’t get it.”
“Well that’s Bellamy for you. He’ll look after you with those big brown cow eyes and then completely not understand comeons or flirtation of any sort.”
Clarke stared down at the menu. “Maybe we’ve just been friends for too long?”
Raven looked exasperated. “Clarke, he also looks at you like you put the moon in the sky.”
Clarke’s voice came out soft, “Maybe he’s just holding out hope for his soulmate. He is romantic like that.” Her eyes started to mist over and she cursed herself for how much she wanted him. He was perfect. Nerdy, loving, funny, quirky, and just completely Bellamy.
“What about your soulmate? Don’t you wonder who that could be?” Raven asked cautiously.
Clarke cocked her head. “Sometimes, but it’s also hard to think of wanting anybody but him.” Her heart strained beneath her chest. Was it so terrible to want to be with her best friend with her whole heart so that there was almost nothing left for anyone else?
Raven looked quizzical. “Have you ever seen Bellamy’s soulmark, Clarke?”
A weird sort of feeling lodged itself in her chest. It almost felt like hope. Clarke squished her eyebrows together. “You know…” she said slowly, “I don’t really know. I know that it’s low down on his hip, but he’s never let me see that part of him.” She pouted. Sometimes she couldn’t even believe she was so ridiculous. “It’s like he doesn’t even know it’s there, so we never talk about it.”
Raven looked sly. “Maybe you should. Has he ever seen yours?”
Clarke sighed. “You would think with how much I take my shirt off in front of him, but whenever I check to see if he’s looking, he’s always staring at the floor like it just woke up and started talking.”
Raven choked on her water. “You take your shirt off in front of him?”
Clarke sighed, exasperated. “Well how else am I supposed to get him to jump my bones?”
Raven cackled, “I have seriously underestimated you, Clarke.” She smiled, more warmly this time. “You should really have that conversation about soulmates with him though.”
Clarke nodded. It was now or never. “So, tell me about that new project you’ve been working on.”
Of course Bellamy knew he had a soulmate, he just didn’t think about it too much because he couldn’t imagine anyone more perfect than Clarke. She was strong, silly, brave, and incredibly angry as she shoved through their front door. He stood in slight terror as she lobbed her shoes into the corner and stalked up to him until they were standing almost chest to chest. When he looked in her eyes he saw fear instead of anger.
“Do you know who your soulmate is?” Clarke asked. Even if her eyes were scared, her voice sure wasn’t.
“Of course not. If I did, I would’ve told you.” Bellamy scrunched his forehead in confusion. He had no idea where this was coming from. Some tension seemed to leave her shoulders, but not all of it.
“Are you waiting for your soulmate?” Clarke cocked her head. She definitely looked like she was about ten seconds away from relieving him of his package.
Bellamy shifted into a slightly more defensive position should she decide to take action and said, “I’m waiting for someone who I love very much and who loves me just as much. I don’t care if it’s my soulmate or not, it would be nice if it was, but it’s not necessary.”
Bellamy watched as Clarke took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. His hands moved instinctively in front of his package. Whatever she was building up to, this was it. “Can I see your soulmark?”
Bellamy reared back. “You’ve never seen it?” They’d been living together for about two years now and had been friends almost their entire lives and she’d never seen his soulmark? Even by accident? He cocked his head, he’d never gotten a good look at her soulmark either. Sometimes he honestly wondered how he even lived his life.
“Obviously not if I’m asking. It’s ok if you don’t want to show me,” she said. As she did, the fight seemed to leave her completely. A strange feeling entered his chest, almost like hope.
He shook his hair out. “No, it’s ok. I want to.” Bellamy slowly undid his belt buckle with trembling hands. It was now or never. “Are you waiting for your soulmate, Clarke?” His hands paused on the button on his pants.
“No. I’ve realized that the people who might look the best for you aren’t always what the package promises. Also,” she smiled up at him, “I’ve been waiting for someone else to realize that I’m right here, in front of him.”
“Him?” Bellamy’s slowly rising hope plummeted. “Who?” He was trying to be casual, but it was really hard when he had his pants half off.
Clarke rolled her eyes, a gesture so familiar it set him at ease. “You, of course.” She huffed. “God, you’re so oblivious.”
Bellamy’s world fell into complete silence as his breath caught in his chest and refused to leave. “Me?” He knew he should close his mouth that was hanging open in disbelief, but he couldn’t have moved if he wanted to. “Really?”
“Yes, you!” Clarke threw her hands up in frustration. “I guess if this is how you react to me declaring my feelings to you, then I shouldn’t really be surprised that you never picked up on any of my flirting.”
Bellamy started to feel his heartbeat again a fast pounding that felt very far away, just like the rest of reality. “You were flirting with me?”
“OH MY GOD! BELLAMY!” She stomped her foot in utter frustration. Fierce Clarke had returned. “Do you love me back or not?”
Words were not working for Bellamy at the moment so he decided to use his actions to show just how much he loved her. He reached out for her, his dream. She felt so warm and real, he could hardly believe it. When she melted in his hands, he pulled her up against him with one hand and buried the other in her silky hair. She smelled like pine and the cold wind that surrounded their house. Their lips met so gently and he burned so quickly. He pulled her closer and when she opened her lips to let him in her groaned. He felt her hands move up to his hair to play in his curls and tug him even closer, like she wanted them to be one, with no space between them ever again.
After living a little longer in that extreme bliss and slowly lessening disbelief, Bellamy pulled back. “Do you still want to see my soulmark?”
Clarke smiled, blinding him with the ferocity of her emotion. “Sure, although I’m not so sure it matters anymore.”
Bellamy didn’t think it did either. “Well, might as well find out once and for all, or else I’ll never get around seeing how long even kissing you took me.”
Clarke scoffed. “Oh, please. Don’t even. If it hadn’t been for me, we wouldn’t even be here. You would still be drowning in your ignorance of my flirting. I literally undressed in front of you, Bell.”
He nodded with a slight smirk. “If you say so.”
“You’re insufferable.” She shook her head. “Just show me your soulmark, you fool.”
“Only a fool for you,” he said while feeling like his cheeks might burst, he was so full of love. Bellamy pushed down the top of his pants to show his soulmark. He heard Clarke’s gasp, then watched entranced as she pulled up the hem of her shirt to just below her breasts.
There, on top of her ribs was a small campfire, burning. A soulmark identical to his. He reached out to graze her side with his fingers and she gasped again. Bellamy shook his head. “I’m such an idiot for never wanting to look, I was so scared it would tell me something I didn’t want to hear.”
Clarke smiled up at him. “I think we’re both guilty on this one, Bellamy.”
He smiled back at her because he could. “Sounds fair. Let’s agree to never do this again, deal?”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t stop smiling so Bellamy pulled her closer once again. “Deal,” she breathed.
Inspired by the song of the same name which has inspired many beautiful The 100 videos.
In which Clarke is working through emotions and decides that taking Bellamy to Christmas with her mom as her fake boyfriend is a great idea.
Clarke lay awake and stared out her window which was illuminated by the reflection of street lights off snow. She couldn’t sleep and she knew she wouldn’t, not until she solved the problem that had plagued her since last fall. It was late November, right around the time she and Lexa had broken up last year. When she had poured her heart out to her and had been met with coldness and an unwillingness to try to understand her feelings. They had broken up on the anniversary of her father’s death. Clarke felt like her heart had too many holes and she couldn’t plug them all at once. A tear leaked out and fell into her hair.
Earlier that day she had been invited by her mom to Christmas with her new husband, Kane, and their mutual friends, Lexa’s parents. Which, of course, meant only one thing. Lexa and her new girlfriend would be there too. And they would be happy and rich and Clarke would be looked down on for being an art teacher and she just didn’t want to go.
Or… what if she didn’t have to go alone? She wiped her face and rolled out of bed. This could actually work. She darted down the hallway, barely knocked on the door, then burst into his room.
“Bellamy!”
“What?” He was immediately up and on his feet, searching for danger. “What’s wrong, Clarke?”
She was momentarily stunned by the sight of him shirtless, but then redirected her attention to her amazing idea.
“Would you be my boyfriend?”
It was Bellamy’s turn to be stunned. He sputtered, started to say something, stopped, ran a hand through his hair, stood perfectly still, and then asked, “what?”
“I was thinking that you could be my boyfriend for Christmas, you know?” Clarke stepped toward him, but that just seemed to make Bellamy more nervous so she stopped. “Because I have to go home to see my mom and Kane. Lexa and Costia, her girlfriend, are going to be there and I don’t want to be alone and I know Octavia is with Lincoln and Indra this year and you’re sad and I don’t want you to be alone and I don’t want to be alone and I kind of want to stick it to Lexa that I have a hot boyfriend now, so…” Clarke ran out of words and remembered to breathe.
Bellamy smirked. “You think I’m hot?”
Clarke blew out a breath, exasperated. “Is that really all you got out of it?”
“No, but that was the main thing.” He held up a hand before Clarke could get mad again. “I will go with you for Christmas. I know it means a lot to you.” He finished softly and Clarke found herself surprisingly near tears again.
“Yeah, well.” She didn’t know how to diffuse the situation. “It’s not just for me.” Her words were defensive, but she had just delved deeper into feelings. The intimacy in the air proved that she had done the opposite of diffusing the situation. Clarke sighed and decided to go with it, even if she hated feelings sometimes.
“I know.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Thanks, Princess.”
Clarke sighed. She would deal with that horrid nickname if it meant that Bellamy would be by her side during what was sure to be an eventful Christmas.
The weeks passed by in a comfortable blur. Clarke was occupied with planning and executing the many holiday art projects that her students required to be happily engaged in the many holidays that happened around this time of the year.
She and Bellamy also fell into another pattern of sorts. They would come home from their respective schools (or colleges in Bellamy’s case) and plan how they were going to be a couple. They planned when they first started falling for each other and their first kiss (Clarke initiated it on Halloween because Bellamy was too scared, but Bellamy would argue that they had both initiated it). They needed to be sure that their relationship would pass inspection. Clarke lived in fear that Lexa would figure out that she had just brought Bellamy so that she wouldn’t be the only one without a partner. But she knew it was deeper than that.
They would eventually stop planning and just start talking. About things that were important to them, like their students, and their families. Bellamy had been Clarke’s friend for ages, but she had never felt this close to him. They would talk about unimportant things too, like who had eaten the last of the Raisin Bran, who was more likely to date a movie star, and whether or not they would hold hands and touch in front of their family. Maybe that one was important, at least in Clarke’s heart, but she tried to pretend it wasn’t.
“Maybe we should, just a little. Like I could hold your hand when we go to dinner with everyone. Or we could just link arms, you know whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” It was obvious Bellamy was not comfortable with this topic. He pushed a tan hand through his mussed hair.
Oddly, the more nervous Bellamy became, the more at ease Clarke felt. Was it weird to take pleasure in your friend’s unease? Clarke laughed. “Bellamy, we can do whatever feels like would be normal in the situation.” She paused. “I would be fine holding your hand or your arm. It doesn’t matter to me. Hell, Bellamy, we already live together, it’s not like we haven’t touched before.”
“Yeah, but not like that, you know?” Bellamy said.
Clarke knew. She didn’t want to think about the odd pulling sensation that suddenly appeared in her stomach though. “I know, Bellamy. I’m sorry that I’m asking so much of you. We don’t have to touch each other at all if that makes you feel more comfortable.”
“No.” Bellamy blushed a little. “It’s ok. I’m just nervous that I won’t fit in you know? I don’t come from money and maybe your mom might not think I’m the best match for you.”
“Hey, Bellamy,” Clarke said softly. “You are the best fake boyfriend I could ever have. My mom doesn’t judge other people for not having high powered jobs, just me.” Clarke sighed, then reached out to grab his hand. “And even if you’re just my fake boyfriend, I still love you. And my mom will see that you love me, and that makes you perfect.” Clarke smiled, feeling a little embarrassed herself. She had been doing a lot of digging in her emotions recently and finding something there that she had never dreamed possible. “Anyways,” she said to Bellamy’s stunned expression. “We’re already holding hands.”
Bellamy’s answering smile was blinding.
The night before Clarke and Bellamy went to Clarke’s mom’s house (Clarke refused to call it home- her home was with Bellamy now), their friend group had their annual Christmas Party. This year, it was at Octavia’s and Lincoln’s place. Octavia flitted about it like a Christmas-mad fairy, putting up twinkly lights, candy canes, and mistletoe everywhere.
“So you can finally kiss Bell,” she said to Clarke, who had come over early to help with the flitting.
Clarke just rolled her eyes. “You know we’re just pretending to be a couple, Octavia.” She huffed. “And it hasn’t even started yet!”
Octavia smiled sweetly. “But it could be something more, don’t try and deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”
Clarke groaned. “I almost know what you’re talking about. But, to be honest, I’m still kinda nervous about going to see my mom and having Lexa there too. That means that I’m not completely over her, right? That means that I still need time to figure myself out?”
“Only you can answer those questions, Clarke.” Octavia patted her shoulder. “But, if you want my opinion, you could do with dating someone who already loves you endlessly.” She stared hard at Clarke, like she was waiting for her to figure something out that was very important.
“Yeah, well.” Clarke shrugged. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”
“Oh, come on, Clarke!” Octavia groaned. “It’s ok to love someone. Especially if that someone spends half his time pining after you and the other half watching dramatic shows on Netflix with you.”
Clarke sighed through her nose. Oddly enough, she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She felt like she had to deny something desperately. She just didn’t know what.
“He doesn’t love me like that.” Clarke raked a hand through her choppy hair. “And even if he did, I don’t think it would end well, so it’s best to just not.”
Clarke’s eyes stung, she didn’t know why it wouldn’t stop. Maybe it was all the pine in the air. She shook her head. “I do want something nice, it’s just-” she took a breath. “Bellamy deserves someone who isn’t so messed up.”
“He only wants you though.” Octavia’s eyes bored into Clarke’s. Clarke finally broke away to shake her head again. She couldn’t, she didn’t love him like that, and he didn’t love her like that. There was nothing more to say. He would just leave her when he couldn’t understand why she was upset about her mom finding someone so soon, even if Kane did have wonderful hair and resented the pressure that Abby put on her to find a job that would pay more and “lead to better things.” Maybe Bellamy wouldn’t understand why she would just want to be happy and live. But maybe that was the worst thing she could think about Bellamy, because he wasn’t her ex girlfriend, he was someone else entirely and maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. But maybe she didn’t want to think about this anymore because it might lead down a dangerous road and she didn’t know if she’d be able to stop once she started.
Clarke just asked, “So where do these sparkly pinecones go?”
Clarke caught a disappointed look before the Christmas pixie took over Octavia’s face again. “Those go on the coffee table, next to the glittering cookies.”
Clarke smiled and tried to relax. It was much easier to pretend that she and Bellamy were just friends, but she felt like things had been changing. She shook it off and tried to have a good time with her friends. It was easier when she was buzzed. Clarke laughed and smiled through the night, she could do this.
The next day dawned bright and glittery, just like Octavia’s pinecones. Oddly enough, Clarke shook off the jitters from the previous night and relaxed as she and Bellamy drove the four hours through the countryside to her mother’s house. Being with Bellamy and away from the crush and bustle of the city made her feel buoyant. She felt she needed to offer Bellamy one last chance to get out of this. She could do it on her own anyway.
“Do you still want to do this?” She glanced over at Bellamy who had his cat-sock clad feet up on the dash. “You don’t have to, you know. I would be fine on my own. Octavia did invite you to come with her and Lincoln to meet his family. Or you could still come, but just as friends, my mom would probably be ok with that.” Clarke rearranged her now slightly sweaty grip on the steering wheel.
She felt Bellamy’s attention as he turned to stare at her. She didn’t dare glance over again. “I know that I don’t have to, but I want to.” She could practically feel him run his hand through his hair. “I just… I’m just not ready to see Octavia happy with another family that isn’t our own, even if it is only the two of us.”
Clarke felt her heart melt. “I get that. Change is hard.” Then in a slightly lighter tone she said, “Either way, you’re a part of my family now, Bellamy.” She did glance at him then, and smiled.
Bellamy smiled back. “You’re a part of my family too.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.
Clarke went through the rest of the day with her heart glowing. She truly was happy to see her mom when they arrived at the house. Abby behaved very well and didn’t bring up her disappointment in Clarke’s profession once. Kane and Abby fluttered around Bellamy, bringing him drinks and asking how he liked being a college professor. Abby even went so far as to say that she was truly happy Clarke had found someone who made her incandescently happy and that friends made the best partners, with a look at Kane. She also said that they were very happy that they had finally found gotten around to getting together. Clarke’s face was very red for most of the afternoon.
But, they were that cheesy, happy family for one glorious afternoon. Lexa and her family were supposed to arrive the next day. Clarke almost felt bad for being so happy. It wasn’t real after all.
They decorated cookies and Clarke smeared frosting on the tip of Bellamy’s nose. He chased her around the kitchen island for revenge. When he caught her from behind, he rubbed his nose on her cheek. Clarke couldn’t breathe, she was laughing so hard. Embarrassingly, Abby snapped a picture of the moment and cooed, “How cute! I’ll put it above my desk.”
“Mom, no. Please.” Clarke had never been more desperate, even though she still smiled.
“No, no, honey. You never send me pictures of yourself so I have to take what I can get.”
Clarke almost started begging. “That’s what Instagram is for.”
“What is Instagram, darling?” Abby looked puzzled.
Clarke gave up. “Nevermind,” she groused. She didn’t feel bad quite as bad about it as she let on though.
“Now,” Abby admonished. “You two have had a long day. It’s time for bed.”
Last year, Clarke might have wanted to scream at Abby to stop mothering her. But this year… something was different. She felt how lucky she was to have someone who loved her that much. Who loved her enough to accept so completely a stranger that she had chosen as her partner. Who loved her enough to want her to be happy and have proof of it.
Clarke smiled, a bright blinding smile. “Alright, Mom.”
Once they were in her room a feeling of unease drifted over Clarke. She had never minded having only a full size bed before, but now with Bellamy…
“I can sleep on the floor if you want,” she said with her face turning a bright red.
“If anyone should sleep on the floor, it’s me.”
“No.” He could be so stubborn sometimes. Clarke loved that. “You are doing me a favor by coming here so you should at least get to sleep on a bed.”
“It’s fine, Clarke,” he mumbled.
“No, it’s not!” Clarke practically yelled. Why did he never take anything for himself? “Take the bed.”
“No, I won’t!”
“Yes, you will!”
“No, I won’t!”
“Yes, you will!”
“Fine!” Bellamy was breathing hard. “You are a ridiculous best friend. But I will only take it if you take it with me.”
In one blissful instant, Clarke’s anger was swept away. She smiled a little. “Fine, but I’m not saying sorry if I kick you in the night.”
Bellamy smiled. “Fine.” The word was soft yet final.
They moved around the room, putting on their pajamas with occasional banter about who looked more ridiculous, Bellamy in his gladiator covered matching pants and shirt or Clarke in her feather pen covered flannel. The air became thicker and more awkward as they made their last moves toward the bed. Clarke could barely hear, her heart thundered so loudly in her ears. She didn’t know why she was so nervous.
There was just enough room left in the bed for a thin sliver of heated space between them. Clarke tried to breathe and think about something other than the space. She took a breath, but Bellamy beat her to it.
“Never thought I’d get to know you this well.” Clarke could practically hear his trademark smirk when she snorted in response.
“Well, we wouldn’t be best friends if we didn’t sleep together at least once,” Clarke said. Now it was Bellamy’s turn to snort.
“So I’m not best friends with Miller because I haven’t slept with him?”
Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course he would get technical. “I seem to remember certain late nights when you two would fall asleep on top of each other on the couch…” Clarke trailed off, smirking.
Bellamy rolled over to face her. “Does it count when you’re drunk?”
He was suddenly very close. She could see every single freckle across his brown nose. His breath touched her ear. It took all her will power to force her thoughts back to their conversation. “Yes, Bellamy.” The way her breath moved the curls on the side of his face fascinated Clarke.
Her hand twitched. She wanted so badly to twine those loose curls around her fingers and see how the dark brown contrasted against her light hands. Clarke didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she should even want this. It would be much safer to just roll over and try to sleep.
“Clarke,” Bellamy said softly. He reached for her hand, asking with his eyes if it was ok. Clarke just stared at him. She didn’t know what to do. He rubbed his finger over the back of her hand and suddenly she burned, everywhere. “You are and always will be my best friend, but I can’t help myself from wanting more.”
Clarke tried to blink the burning sensation in her eyes away, but it just intensified. Did she want this? She hadn’t thought about Lexa in so long, the reason she had brought him with her seemed to insignificant now. Why did Bellamy never want to take anything for himself? He gave up Christmas with Octavia so that she wouldn’t feel lonely or awkward. He was so good but she didn’t know if she could have a relationship that deep again. It had hurt too much the first time. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.
“Clarke,” Bellamy said again. He wiped away the tears on her face so gently. It made Clarke cry more. “I understand if you’re not ready or if you don’t want to. Just say the word.” Bellamy’s face was the picture of unhappiness. He would not push it, no matter how he felt. He cared so much and it broke her heart. She loved him. Clarke blinked and jerked back as the thought entered her head.Bellamy somehow managed to look even more unhappy and pulled back. “It’s ok, Clarke. Let’s just go to bed.” He tried to smile. He was the most precious thing Clarke had ever seen.
“No, Bellamy.” Clarke reached out and grabbed his hand even as tears still silently rolled down her cheeks. “I think that you’re worth it.”
Bellamy’s face glowed and Clarke was reminded of the sparkly Christmas cookies they had made earlier. She pulled him close and buried her head against his neck. “I want to try with you,” she mumbled against him. “Do you want to try with me?”
“Yes, of course.” Bellamy wrapped his arms around her tightly and she melted into him. The anxiety leaked out of Clarke as Bellamy held her. She felt oddly calm and almost giddy. She pulled back just enough to look into his molten, caring eyes. She tipped her lips forward, just a bit, and let him close the tiny last bit of distance between them.
The kiss was warm and gentle on her soul. She twined her fingers into his curls and sighed contentedly against his soft lips. He moaned slightly and pulled her tighter against him. The kiss turned to flames and Clarke lost herself in it until he moved his lips down her jaw and sucked on her neck, hard. Clarke almost moaned and then remembered where they were. She pulled back a bit and laughed quietly instead.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this here.” Clarke was disappointed but knew it was probably for the best. “I kind of want to take it slowly anyway.”
Bellamy’s eyes twinkled. “Of course. I’m just excited that I get to fuss over my real girlfriend tomorrow.”
Butterflies flitted around Clarke’s stomach. She didn’t know how she could go from being so lonely to so lucky in just one night. But then again, it hadn’t been just one night. It had been all the nights they spent together, talking, bickering, and laughing together.
Clarke laughed again. “You’re not going to fuss over me, you’re just going to tease me.”
Bellamy looked offended. “No, trust me. I’m going to fuss, I’m great at it.”
Clarke giggled and nestled into her best friend. “Thank you for being there for me.”
“Anytime, darling.” Bellamy pulled her close. Clarke breathed him in and fell into a peaceful sleep. Everything else could wait. For now all that mattered was that she had Bellamy and he had her.
Happy Thanksgiving! I can’t wait to try writing some super sappy Christmas fics too! This is some fake dating fluff for Thanksgiving because I love them and sweet potato pie so much!
It was supposed to be a wonderful day. Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, and Wells were all back in Arkadia for Thanksgiving. They met at their favorite diner for their traditional post-Thanksgiving lunch followed by the latest superhero movie. Clarke was in the middle of a tirade about how ridiculous her students were when the door blew open with a gust of cold wind that ushered in a very unwelcome sight. Finn.
Clarke had gotten over her heartbreak a long time ago, but that couldn’t suppress the sudden surge of anger that burst through her chest.
Bellamy (dad that he was) quickly noticed her change in focus and emotion and looked around for the source. His eyes narrowed when he spotted Finn. He wasn’t a fan either. Clarke watched as Raven and Wells turned around in the booth to surveil the scene as well. She held her breath, but Raven just snuggled closer to Wells when she saw him, then turned back around to studiously ignore the shaggy-haired menace who had broken both of their hearts.
Clarke knew it was irrational, but she wanted to snuggle up to someone too. She wanted to show him that she had moved on and was happy. Both of those things were already true, but being single and in love with her best friend wasn’t something she could easily portray from across the diner.
Clarke edged a little closer to Bellamy. Boy, was she ever going to regret this.
“Ummm. Hey, Bellamy?” She said quietly, half hoping he wouldn’t hear her.
“Yes, Clarke?” He asked rather warily.
“Would you put your arm around me?”
He just stared at her blankly. After a moment he sputtered. “I’m sorry, what?”
Clarke felt herself turning a deep shade of red. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything,” she muttered.
She saw Bellamy shoot a glance at Finn, then at Wells and Raven. His confused expression cleared and he shifted to wrap her into him. When the hug ended, he left his arm around her.
Clarke looked up, surprised, only to find Bellamy smiling down at her. “Isn’t that what friends are for?” He asked.
She snuggled into him and tried not to enjoy it too much. It wasn’t for real after all. And in order to make it real, she’d actually have to talk to him.
As they settled back into their conversation with Wells and Raven, a weird thing happened. Nobody even batted an eyelash at their new position. Shit, Clarke thought. She’d been way too obvious. It was a miracle Bellamy didn’t know.
When they had moved on to pie, a shadow fell over the sweet potato perfection that Clarke was about to shove in her mouth
“Hey, guys! What’s up?” The shadow said, rather too cheerfully.
Clarke regretfully put her deliciously loaded fork down and sighed. She snuggled back into Bellamy, ready to watch Finn get his ass handed to him on a very well designed platter.
Raven looked up at him with a whole lot of fire in her eyes. “Hey, Finn,” she said calmly. “What are you doing here?”
Finn looked slightly taken aback. “I just wanted to say hi. You know, just being civil.” He crossed his arms, taking up a defensive position. Clarke just shook her head and squeezed Bellamy’s hand. This was going to be bad, yet so, so good.
“Was it civil when you cheated on me with Clarke? Was it civil when you broke both of our hearts while trying to keep us both? Was it civil when I had to learn about the end of our three year relationship from a friend and Clarke, the first time she met me? I’ll tell you what was civil.” Raven was practically shouting. She stood up. “It was civil when I saw this beautiful blonde girl who you had just crushed and we decided to be adults and friends instead of immature and petty. It was civil when when we just cut you off instead of cutting your balls off. And it was civil when we didn’t pound you immediately when you walked in here, but you just had to come over and make some shit excuse at conversation in order to feel better about yourself and your guilt!” Raven was actually yelling now. She faced off with Finn, toe-to-toe.
Clarke was surprised. She had always known that Raven had it in her, she just hadn’t expected her fire to be so strong. She should have known.
Raven took a breath and immediately her expression changed from fire to ice. She lifted an eyebrow at the dumbfounded Finn, still gaping at her with a little bit of mist in his eyes. “I suggest you leave now.” It was anything but a suggestion.
Clarke knew she should be serious, but is was getting harder and harder not to laugh at his stunned face. He had honestly thought that he could come over and pretend like he hadn’t been the most egregious dick ever.
Finn had nothing left to do but turn around and mope back to his friends. Raven watched him leave, then turned to sit with them again. When she did, Clarke met her eyes and found a glint of humor in them. Clarke giggled. Then Raven joined in. Bellamy and Wells looked at them like they’d lost their minds.
After a while, Raven wiped tears from her eyes. “He looked so scared.” She laughed again.
“As he should.” Clarke reached over the table to grasp Raven’s hand. She smiled. “That felt good.”
“As it should.” They slowly fell back into conversation and finished the delicious sweet potato pie that had been put on hold. Clarke was practically shining with happiness. Finn had finally been put in his place and Bellamy’s arm around her kept her very warm. She felt very, very thankful.
When they left to go to the movie theatre down the street, Bellamy hung back.
“Hey, Clarke?” He looked a little nervous as he ran his hand through his curls. “Are you ok? You know, with Finn and all?”
Clarke smiled at him fondly. Of course he was worrying about her. “I feel better than ever actually. I’ve never been more free of him, and it was a very long time ago.”
“Good.” Bellamy let out a gust of air and reached for Clarke’s hand. He laced their fingers together, squeezed, and smiled. “I wouldn’t want you to be upset on our first date.”
Clarke’s mouth dropped open and she stopped dead. “What?” It came out much louder than she intended.
Bellamy started to look a little hurt and Clarke hurried to fix what was only surprise and a little bit of indignation. “I mean, I would love to go on a date with you, but this doesn’t count.” Her face relaxed into a smile as his lit up again. She squeezed his hand for all she was worth.
“Why not?” Bellamy smiled mischievously.
“Well.” Clarke cocked her head. “For one, you didn’t ask me and I didn’t ask you, and two, I didn’t even get a kiss.”
“I could fix the second one.” Bellamy’s sweet smile turned rakish as he pulled her towards him.
Clarke looked into his sparkling eyes and found everything she could have wished for. She lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips lightly to his. The kiss was warm.
“There,” Clarke laughed. “I fixed it.” Bellamy radiated joy as he laughed, then squished her against him.
“You fix everything,” he mumbled into her hair. Clarke wanted to stay like that, being slightly cold, almost suffocated, and yet warm all over.
When they finally pulled apart, Clarke grabbed his hand and said, “I’m glad you like me back because I won’t always have Finn around as an excuse for a good cuddle.”
Bellamy laughed and squeezed her hand. “Well I love you back so you’ll never have to worry about not having cuddles again.” Clarke beamed. At least Finn had been good for something.
A little Thanksgiving fluff with some fake dating! :)
“I can’t believe you talked me into driving with you across two states to visit your mom and step-dad for Thanksgiving.” Bellamy’s brow turned down as he sulked. “And it’s so cold!”
Clarke huffed. “It was colder in Minnesota. Stop being such a baby!” But she shifted closer to him as much for warmth as to alleviate the strong pull that always dragged her to him.
“Maybe we should ring the doorbell again?” Bellamy asked. They had been waiting on her mom and Kane’s poarch for five minutes.
“Yeah, but they’re either listening to really loud music or they’re not here. Either way it won’t do much good.”
“Neither will freezing our butt’s off out here.”
Clarke sighed. He was right. She just didn’t want to consider the option that Kane and her mom had forgotten about them. Then she perked up. “Wait! I think I hear someone!” Clarke grabbed Bellamy’s hand. “Quick! Hold my hand!”
“Ummm…” Bellamy looked amused. “I already am.”
Clarke blushed. “Sorry! I know this whole fake dating thing sucks but I don’t know if my mom and Kane would have let me bring a friend.”
“I know.” Bellamy gave her hand a squeeze. Clarke’s heart tightened. He knew just how worried she was for her first Thanksgiving with her new step-dad. He always knew how she was feeling, except about the one thing that should be so obvious.
Then the door opened and they were ushered into the house to the warm kitchen with apologies and welcome. The music was just so loud, they were making pies for tomorrow, and Kane was such a spectacular dancer that they were had been too occupied to think about the door until now. They were very excited that Clarke could visit and bring Bellamy too!
Clarke let it all wash over her. She knew that Kane was a good man and she was truly happy for them. It was just so odd to see someone else in her childhood home. But she also saw the picture on the mantle of her, her mom, and her dad. He wasn’t forgotten.
The real problem was how supportive Bellamy was being and how awkward it made her feel. Not that Bellamy was never supportive; he was a great friend (except for that brief period of time when they had hated each other). Now, whenever Kane brought up a new memory made with Abby, or her mom hinted that she was getting older and settling down might be nice, she would feel Bellamy’s arm slide around her waist and squeeze ever so slightly. She knew it was all for sow, but her stomach still clenched every time. And Clarke found herself handing him his wineglass with a kiss on the cheek or putting a hand on his knee when they sat on the couch. It was so natural, but made her feel so terrible that this mini vacation would have to end.
The hardest part was when they finally made their way up the stairs to her old room.
“Do you have everything you need sweetie?” Abby called up after them. “Remember extra blankets and towels are in the closet!”
“Yes, thank you Mom!” Clarke called. “Goodnight!”
“Goodnight darling!”
Clarke closed the door and leaned back against it with her eyes closed. She took a deep breath. “Thank you.”
Bellamy scoffed. Clarke opened her eyes to see Bellamy’s unreadable face a lot closer than she thought.
“For what?” He asked. She watched his chest rise and fall slightly faster than normal.
“For being there for me, boyfriend or not.” Clarke gave him a small smile. “And for knowing exactly when I need it.”
Bellamy stepped closer so that he was the only thing she could see.
“Anytime.” He looked at her through his long lashes. “Seriously.” He started turning red. “We should try being together again. For real.”
Clarke tried to shrug around the pumping of her heart. “Well, there’s always tomorrow?” she asked shyly.
Bellamy leaned in to place a kiss on her forehead. “I would love that.”
Clarke beamed and laced their fingers together.
“But for now could you just show me all the embarrassing pictures of you playing soccer in braces? I would love that too.” Bellamy smirked.
Clarke responded by smacking his arm. “You really know how to set the mood don’t you?” She huffed. “It’s no wonder we didn’t get together sooner.”
“Nah,” Bellamy shrugged. “That’s not me. That’s what I’ve got you for.”
She really couldn’t resist him. She’d never has a chance. Clarke laughed and pointed him towards the pictures.The pull that had dragged her to him had finally stopped tugging. Now it just buzzed happily and let them fall in love in their own time. She should have taken him home with her years ago.
