Writing my feeling through fictional characters? It’s more likely than you think;
(Drafted this while my eyes were burning with exhaustion. Maybe I’ll make it longer and into a whole fic. But for now it’s a drabble, cause I’m struggling coming to terms with my sexual just like Galinda lol
TW! For internalized homophobia I guess? Like she doesn’t necessarily have that, but she also doesn’t not have it either. But I’m too tired and burnt out to think of what it could be, anyway here it is)
Galinda forces herself to remember how to breathe.
Well, she’s a fucking mess, the question rattling around her brain for the better half of today. But it’s a fair question, and Elphaba deserves a real answer instead of the lame, half assed, “What do you mean? We’re us,” panicked excuse Galinda gave before class started this morning.
But alas, now it’s night and she still doesn’t have a final answer.
Why is she acting like this? She is an Upland, an Upper Upland no less, and right now she’s acting like she’s never spoken about a gay person before, which being friends with Phannee alone could be her testimony that she definitely has.
So why can’t she get the fucking words out that she was… is…
“You know, we really don’t have to put any labels on our relationship if you’re not ready,” Elphaba says softly, hovering her hand over Galinda’s before placing it on the bed next to her, not to spook the blonde too fast from her thoughts.
“We’re literally spooning and I already told you I liked-liked you,” Galinda says flatly, touching Elphie’s hand briefly before tucking her own into her chest as she curls into a ball of self hatred and despair.
“I’m quite aware, little spoon,” the green girl chuckles slightly, shifting a little to move the other girl closer to her, “but I’m also okay with saying how we’re just two friends. Two good friends— no wait, two very close best friends, actually. If that’s what you want.”
Galinda harrumphs quietly, biting her lip so hard she knows it might bleed, but she can’t bring herself to care. Why did this admittance feel like a crushing weight on her chest? It’s just one fucking word.
The voices inside her head swarm around like angry bees, and are quick to remind her that one word has many, many connotations.
Implications that will affect her forever. That will affect her status, the way others see her not only in a popular sense but how many people will not longer see her as a person she’s always been once the words leave her mouth, how many will treat her differently?
What will her parents think once they hear?
Once they read in some future paparazzi tabloids: Prince Fiyero Tigglar of Winkie Country will have courted someone else, someone who is not her.
Once they understand that the “phase” Galinda “experienced” in middle school wasn’t actually a phase at all, instead it was a part of her she deeply tried to ignore for several years.
Once they understand that their daughter, their only daughter and sole Upper Upland heir, has a crush on a woman.
Once they understand Galinda Upland actually has a—
“Girlfriend, I think your label can be. And mine too, I guess. But I don’t know if I can admit out loud that I’m… I’m a… ya know… yet.”
“The Not Straight™️ then,” Elphaba says jokingly, her smile fading a bit when her partner doesn’t laugh.
“Part of the alphabet remix, if you will,” the witch tries again, feeling proud of herself for receiving a slightly amused hum.
They stay in that position for a while, bathing in the light of the moon and Galinda’s soft pink flower light that settles a comfortable glow around the room.
The blonde pretends a few tears don’t slip down her cheeks as she retakes Elphie’s hand and squeezes it tight, letting that action say what she can’t yet.
Thank you for understanding. Thank you for letting me love you. Thank you for loving me back.
Most importantly, Thank you for not rushing me.
Elphaba doesn’t comment on the tears, just silently brushes them away with her thumb as she presses a kiss into Galinda’s hairline.
For times like this, they don’t need words. Just each other.