Fuck Hawkmoth, honestly

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Fracture

“Fuck!” Alix exclaims. This was the last goddamn time that she was taking someone back in time with her.

Man, these hurt more than cramps, and that shit hurt.

Chat, whose arm she was currently holding onto, was turning deathly pale. It could either be because he time-splinched or because she could break his arm. Both were terrifying.

She took a deep breath in, sighed, and released him.

He hesitantly stepped away from her.

“Uh, you alright there, Bunnyx?” he asks.

She was, in fact, not alright, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Yup, just fine. Perfectly fucking dandy,” she says through gritted teeth. “Shall we go?”

Chat, to his credit, did seem appropriately scared of her.

She followed him to his childhood bedroom.

When they had defeated the original Hawkmoth as teenagers, they all revealed themselves. They also realized that Adrien most likely needed therapy.

That was their incentive for this mission. Currently, Adrien was doing okay, mentally, after years of help and relearning.

They finally reach their intended destination; the two of them find Marinette and Adrien huddled together in the corner of the room. Young Marinette rubs circles on Young Adrien’s back. She murmurs something in his ear, and they look up to see the older superheroes in front of them.

Marinette urges Adrien towards his older self, and Chat reaches out to the younger boy. Adrien sits next to Chat, close but not touching, and Chat pulls him closer and hugs him tightly.

“I’m here to tell you,” he says as he breaks the hug, “that things do get better from here on out. We get away from this horrible house, and we get a steady job that’s not connected to Father’s name in any way. You have a loving partner and a home, and you’re planning on having kids.”

Adrien sniffles slightly and nods.

“Listen. I know it seems like a completely different world, that I’m describing to you, but you have to trust me on this one thing, okay? And you have to make me one promise.”

Adrien nods against mutely. “Promise,” he mumbles in response.

Chat grins. “You need to promise me that you’ll go to get therapy when you need it. Trust me, it helps. A lot.”

Adrien just gives him a half-shrug. Chat sighs.

Alix clears her throat, trying not to disrupt the moment.

“Uh, Chat? My times running out. We have to leave this timeline before we get trapped or splinched.”

Chat nods and gets to his feet. Before leaving, though, he pats Adrien on the shoulder.

“Things will get better. I swear on it.”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Gym Buddies... or more?

“Bro, you’re absolutely jacked. What do you do?”

Marinette glances to where the voice had come from. She was met with a guy her age, and he was staring appreciatively at her biceps.

She grins.

“Well, I lift and I do 100 push-ups a day. Going on an approximately 5-mile run everyday doesn’t hurt, either.”

His jaw drops.

What she said wasn’t a lie, per se, but an extension of the truth. She did lift- if you counted lifting her partner and random civilians as lifting. And running around Paris certainly gave you toned calves.

“Do you want me to spot you on that bench-press?” she asks after he doesn’t speak for a moment.

He snaps out of whatever stupor he had been entranced in.

“Uh, yeah. Just don’t give me as many as however many you do.”

*

After their first meeting, Marinette and Nino often worked out together.

Marinette wasn’t a trainer, by any means, but even she could see how much Nino had improved.

“Mari?” Nino asks one day as they towel their sweat off.

“Yeah?” she responds.

“Um, would you want to meet up for coffee or something? You don’t have to say yes or anything, if you’re busy…”

“No, that’s cool.”

”Let’s meet at the coffee shop on third? Does Saturday work for you?”

”Sure! It'll be a date, ” she says before getting up. Nino splutters. Did she mean a date-date?

Her hair swishes in its ponytail as she leaves. She winks at him from the doorway.

Nino was so fucked.

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Seeing the Unseen

MDC-draws: hey y’all do you want to actually meet up this weekend? Im free and we all live in the paris area so…

kitty: sure! We can meet at the eiffel tower, so that way none of us have to actually reveal where we live or anything

report-no-abort: yeah thats chill with me but im only free on saturday

dj-turtle-the-nyurtle: Yeah sure

MDC-draws: great! We can meet at the Eiffel Tower as kitty said.. I’m free from 3-4 on Saturday?

kitty: that works! Might have to duck out earlier bc I’ll have a shoot at 4:30 but that’s cool

report-no-abort: yeah that works for me too

dj-turtle-the-nyurtle: alright. See y’all there then

*

Marinette steps into the elevator anxiously. It was 2:57, and she was stressed. What if they were actually old people catfishing her? What if they bailed? Or what if, even worse, they weren’t even in Paris?

The elevator stops at the viewing deck of the Eiffel Tower. She sees a group of adults and children, and off to the side was an old couple.

She sits on a bench by a pair of viewing binoculars. Her foot won’t stop tapping.

She fidgets with her red and black scarf, the agreed-upon signal for her friends to recognize her by.

She sees a boy approach her hesitantly. He wears a deep green jacket over black jeans, and he has headphones sling over his neck. He wears a green beanie.

“Dj? That you?” She asks, feeling stupid about calling him by his username.

“Uh, yeah. But my real name’s Nino,” he responds somewhat awkwardly.

“I’m Marinette, then. Wanna head to the lounge? It’s kinda cold out here.”

“Yeah, sure. Do you know when the others’ll be here?”

Marinette checks her phone briefly. “No… neither of them have said anything. I can ask, though?”

He nods. Marinette patters away on her phone.

She looks back up at him. He was definitely taller than she expected.

“I told them both to meet us at the lounge. Um, Kitty said he’d be here in five, he was just running a little late. And our favorite reporter said that she got caught up- there’s something happening near her house and she just had to record it.”

Marinette rolls her eyes and Nino runs a hand through his hair. They share a look and grin.

They had reached the lounge as they were walking and talking. Marinette opens the door for Nino and closes it behind herself.

“So,” he begins awkwardly as they sit down on a sofa together. “Uh, do you actually draw or is that just a screen name?”

Marinette brightens and she launches into a detailed explanation of her designing, and she pulls out her sketchbook.

They pour over it for a few minutes until a harried-looking girl bursts in. Her red and brown hair is flying about. She stops and looks around until her eyes land on them.

Her jacket is an orange and deep brown. It must be their third friend.

She walks to them and sits down. “Dj and MDC? Is that you?”

Marinette nods. “My real name’s Marinette, and this is Nino.”

The girl smiles. “My name’s Alya.”

“Hey, Alya,” a boy says, walking behind her. His blond hair is considerably neater than Alya’s. He wears black and green boots.

“Oh, hey, Adrien. Didn’t know you’d be our precious lil kitty,” she teases. He pouts adorably and Marinette’s heart melts into a puddle of goo. He was like a little kid who needed to be protected.

Nino looks between Adrien and Alya. “How do you two know each other?”

“Oh, we go to school together. It’s kinda funny to think that we were both ignoring each other in class in favor of talking to each other.” Alya snickers.

Marinette whips her head towards Nino. “You! Aren’t you the one who replaced all of the ink in my pens with milk because I rejected your friend?”

Nino shrugs guiltily. “Eh, well, bros before hoes, am I right?”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Auditorium Awareness

‘Alya, do you want to ask Marinette and Nino to go with us to the movies on the weekend? I already asked my dad and he said that I’m free.’

Adrien slides the note across the desk to Alya when he’s down scribbling it down. Alya grabs it as un-suspiciously as she can without being caught and jots down her response.

‘Yeah, we can ask them at lunch. bet they’ll say yes.’

Lunch comes by sooner than they realize, and Adrien and Alya ask them. Nino says yes, and Marinette mutters something that sounds vaguely affirmative.

Adrien beams.

Marinette is oddly subdued around him and Alya, yet she seems to endlessly blabbering around Nino. Both of them wonder about it.

Alya says it has to do with Marinette liking him, but Adrien doesn’t believe her and tells her that she must be mistaken. There’s no way that Marinette, of all people, liked him. After all, what were the odds of his crush liking him back…

While Adrien had been spacing out, Alya already pays for their popcorn and tickets. As soon as he realizes, he offers to pay her back.

“Adrien, we get it. You’re rich and you feel obligated to pay for us. But even though you think we’re helpless, let me just tell you that my mom works at the Le Grand Paris as the head cook.”

Adrien flushes. “Sorry.”

Alya says something about sitting next to her boyfriend, but all Adrien sees is Marinette tucking her hair behind her ear. It was down today, and she looked stunning.

“Hello, loverboy? Anyone there?” Adrien snaps out of his haze.

“Lo- loverboy? What are you talking about?” he stutters. Marinette giggles lightly.

“Nothing, sunshine. Let’s just get our seats.” Alya rolls her eyes.

With little argument, they settle down, Marinette in between Adrien and Alya, and Nino to Alya’s other side.

Adrien can feel Marinette glancing over at him throughout the movie. He goes to grab the popcorn and nudges Marinette’s hand in the tub.

“So-sorry, I didn’t mean to-” he startles. Marinette shakes her head good-naturedly, and even through the dark of the theater, Adrien can see the blush that dusts her cheeks.

She seems to glow in the darkness. Her hair is down and styled in a half french-braid. She wears a sundress and Adrien watches her smile at the screen. He wishes she’d smile like that more.

Alya notices his distraction and mouths something at him.

“What?” he whispers.

‘After the movie tell her how you feel,’ she responds. Adrien, however, isn’t great at lip-reading.

‘I should tell her I have a seal?’ he mouths back, confused.

‘No, how you feel!’

‘Maybe… maybe not.’ Alya rolls her eyes and leans back in her seat. He watches her shaking her head slightly at him.

Maybe he should tell Marinette how he felt. It’s not like he didn’t notice her staring. And anyways, if it went badly, she would let him down nicely. (Probably.)

The movie ends and Adrien realizes that he didn’t even know much of the plot. He had been too wrapped up in his thoughts.

They leave the theater, and Alya, god bless her, convinces Nino to go to the neighboring Starbucks with her.

Marinette and Adrien awkwardly face each other as their friends leave them.

“Listen-”

“Marinette-”

They both start, and then uncomfortably they gesture for the other to go first.

“Listen, Adrien, this was great. I loved to spend time with all of you, but if you don’t mind,” she says, and at this point, she fidgets unconsciously with her hands. “We could come to the movies next weekend, just the two of us?”

Adrien grins. “Of course! That’d be awesome. That’s pretty much exactly what I was going to say, actually…”

Marinette’s grin shines brighter than the sun, moon, and stars.

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Some Mistakes Were Made

”I don’t understand why you can’t accept that we could be more than just friends with benefits!” 

”Look, I'm sorry, but I need time to think about us, okay?” 

“Fine! Have it your way. Call me when you need a quick fuck, or whatever, ”  Nathaniel says before leaving the apartment. 

Marc wants to reach out, he really does, but he feels hollow and empty. Nothing to motivate him to go after him.

”Nathaniel, I'm sorry, ” he whispers into the phone later. ”I didn't mean to upset you. I've liked you since we were in middle school, and I guess I just needed this to accept the fact that I really do love you and need you.” 

Nathaniel doesn't say anything- Marc doesn't expect him to. After all, arguments are two-sided, aren't they? 

”Look, I really am sorry, and if you want to stop seeing me, or meeting up with me, I get it, ” he says after a moment, and he hates the way his voice cracks. 

”I just want you to know that I'd be willing to give dating a try. I thought it over a lot, and I'm sorry that I've just been using you. Let's start over?” 

There's only silence, and Marc considers hanging up, but then he hears Nathaniel’s voice. 

”Okay, ” he hears in a low whisper. ”Yeah, I'd like that. Let's start over. Meet me for coffee up on third street?” 

Marc finally smiles. 

”Alright. Let's do that.” 

When Marc arrives at the coffee shop, he doesn't really expect to see Nathaniel there. But he does, and he's really there, and Marc can breathe again. 

He walks over to the table he's chosen, and gingerly sits down, careful not to break their careful quiet. 

”Sorry,” he says again. ”I’m sorry, Nath.” 

”No. We’re here to start over, remember?” he responds with a small smile. 

”Okay. Hi, I'm Marc. What's your name?” 

”I’m Nathaniel, but my lovers can call me Nath.” 

”Hey there, Nath.” 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Aspectabund

“Marinette, I need those files on my desk by noon,” Chloe says. Marinette rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” she responds and continues to patter away at her desk. 

Chloe was Marinette’s supervisor, and also her (unfortunate) crush. Marinette was not handling it well. 

After she’s sure that Chloe’s gone, Marinette grabs her phone and texts Alya. 

Mari: yo Chloe just said that she needs my files by noon and 1. this could either end up as a porno and 2. I didn't stutter like a fool ™ so thats going for me

bsf <33333: well, that's great

Mari: yeah

bsf<33333: aight so good for you but I have to get back to work

Mari: k ill see you later

Marinette takes a deep breath to calm herself before walking to Chloe’s desk before lunch. 

“Hey, Chloe, here’s the files you asked for,” she says with a surprisingly steady voice. She doesn’t acknowledge the fact that her voice cracks on the third word. 

“Thanks,” Chloe responds dismissively. “Just leave them here on the tray.” 

“Um, could I ask you something?”

Chloe looks up from her computer. “Yes?” 

“Uh, um, would you maybe like to have lunch with me?” 

“Maybe tomorrow, I’m kind of swamped with work right now.” 

Marinette’s slightly disappointed, but it wasn’t an outright rejection, right?

The next day, Chloe holds to her word. They meet at a cafe not too far from their office. It’s cute, but all Marinette can think about is how beautiful Chloe looks. 

She’s dressed the same way she always is, and yet there’s something about her that shines this afternoon. Maybe it is to do with the fact that she’s looking at Marinette from behind a menu and not a computer. 

“I’ll take a medium iced coffee and a chocolate eclair, please,” Chloe orders. 

“I’ll have a, uh, small vanilla frappe and a chocolate croissant, please.” 

“So, Marinette,” Chloe begins when the waiter walks away. “What brought this on?” 

“Well,” she starts, though she can’t help but feel like she’s being quizzed, “I’ve liked you for a while now.” 

Chloe grins and Marinette flushes red. “Oh? How interesting.” 

“Um, okay?” she responds for lack of better reponse.

“You see, I myself have had my eye on you for a while. But of course, we wouldn’t be perceived as anything more than ‘gals being pals’, right?” 

“Y-yeah,” Marinette manages to say. Her palms are sweating. The waiter comes over with their orders. 

Chloe thanks him dismissively. “And yet, does it matter? I think not.” 

She takes a slow bite of her eclair and raises an eyebrow for Marinette to speak. 

“It doesn’t really matter, but, um, what do you say?” She says emphasizing the ‘you.’

Chloe takes another bite and licks her lips. 

Marinette wants to die.

“I think that would be splendid.” 

“Great! Cool! I’ve been waiting a while for this,” Marinette mumbles awkwardly. 

Chloe just grins. “You won’t have to wait much longer.” 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Jacquerie

“You seem like a dashing young man,” he says dramatically as Adrien steps out of the carriage.

Adrien grins back at him. Luka wasn’t rendered high in his fathers’ eyes, but Adrien liked him anyway. He was fun, and Adrien could be himself around Luka. 

Luka bows more than ninety degrees, then offers Adrien his arm. Adrien takes it with a smile, happy to play along.

“After you, sirs,” Nathaniel says, his father’s assistant. He makes a slightly disgusted face after the two turned away- despite the law that had passed sodomy less than ten years prior, many people still looked upon homosexuality in disdain. 

They weren’t dating. 

Luka leads Adrien into the ballroom. It was extravagantly decorated, what with the gold adorning the walls and the velvet carpeting on the steps. It had a gorgeous display on the ceiling, and there were huge windows covering the walls. 

The room was crowded, but the pair managed to find some room. 

“Ah, so, I suppose you should find a lady to dance with, now,” Luka says awkwardly, and Adrien grabs his arm before he can slink into the crowd like he always does. 

“Stop doing that,” Adrien says, the smile fading from his face. “I don’t want to dance with some woman that I don't know.” 

Luka shuffles in place and looks down into Adrien’s eyes. “I heard that Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng would be here.” 

Adrien grasps his hands, and the vigor with which he holds them only expresses his need for him to be there. 

“Don’t go.” 

Luka sighs, but a grin creeps into his face. 

“Alright.” 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Felonies and Faking

“Come on, Nino! She’s going to get there before us!” Alya whisper-yelled at him. Nino was currently stuck between two pipes. Alya, being quick and lithe, had slipped through them with ease, but Nino wasn’t that lucky.

Alya huffs but goes to help him. He comes free after two rough tugs.

“What the heck, Alya, you could have been nicer about it?” he complains in a normal voice. Alya shushes him loudly.

“That bitch is going to get to the crown before us, and then she’ll be all up in our faces. It’ll be the biggest failure in the history of our career!”

“Fine, fine, I’m coming,” he says as they scale the wall. She jumps to the top and taps her foot impatiently.

He glares at her, and she continues to jump across buildings. She opens a hatch for them to slip through and dramatically gestures for him to go through first.

He slips through and jumps into the room, hopefully not alerting any guards. Alya clenches her teeth and barely suppresses a roll of her eyes.

She jumps and lands like a cat. Nino stops to marvel his girlfriend’s prowess, but she punches him and they continue their journey to steal the crown of France.

The crown was an artifact of King Louis III’s reign and it was sought after by many groups after the reveal of alexandrite in it.

Lila’s gang and Alya’s gang had been on a turf war for the past two years, and this was the only neutral area in the whole of the city.

And by god, if Alya wasn’t going to make it a competition. They creep through the building, surprised that no one suspected them. However, they were dressed like the personnel of the museum, so it wasn’t terribly obvious that they had broken in.

“Hey, what are you two doing?” another guard asks them. Nino gups. They were goners.

Lucky for him, Alya was a true charmer. “Oh, sir, we were recruited earlier this week. We don’t usually work this shift, but the officer that appointed us decided that we were ready for a test.”

The guard breaks into a grin. “Ah, Officer Jin get a hold of you two?”

Alya has no clue what they’re talking about anymore, but she goes with it.

“Ha, yeah. Sorry if we alarmed you,” she says, rubbing her neck in the guise of sheepishness.

She has her fingers wrapped around the glock tucked into her bra. He waves the two of them off, though, so she doesn’t have to use it.

Nino audibly sighs, and Alya nearly glares at him. The guard wasn’t completely out of earshot, so she covers him, yet again.

“Yeah, that was kinda stressful. Didn’t think we’d have to talk to anyone,” she says with false cheerfulness.

Nino looks at her curiously, but rolls with it. “Mm. That gave me anxiety.”

“I think our patrol says that we have to patrol in the east wing tonight?” she asks in code. The crown was in the east wing, but the guard wouldn’t suspect them if he overheard them.

Nino nods. “Yeah. Being here in the dark kinda freaks me out, though.” He wasn’t lying.

Alya laughs and hip-checks him. It felt like they were back in lycee.

Alya stops laughing and drops her voice to a whisper. “Marinette found out that Lila was going to be slipping through the west side, so if we go from this side we should be able to get there before her.”

“Okay.” Nino suddenly turns and stares into the blackness.

Alya watches him, a mix of confusion and amusement. He stares unblinkingly, and it’s only slightly unnerving.

“Uh, Nino?” she asks after a moment, keeping her voice low.

His voice is a whisper when he responds. “Someone else is here. I think she’s here.”

Alya’s eyes widen slightly. “Come on,” she hisses, and they speedwalk to the crown room.

Alya breaks into a silent sprint after a moment and Nino joins her. Together, they deactivate the control system and enter the crown room.

Alya sprints into the room and grabs the crown before any special alarms can go off. Lila drops down from where she was hiding in the rafters.

“Give it to me!”

“No! I got here first!”

Nino wonders if he should step in to intervene.

“You’re a no-good, lying thief!” Lila accuses boldly.

Alya raises her eyebrows skeptically. “Well, so are you.”

Lila growls at her. “Just give it to me!”

“No!” She says, and handling the crown heftily, she sprints toward Nino.

“Come on! Let's go!” Nino grabs the crown from her and Alya turns around to chuck a nearby vase at Lila’s head.

Lila goes down and wipes the blood from her hands.

Nino scales the wall while wondering where he went wrong.

“Hell yeah!” he hears and watches as Alya lands a solid punch.

He sprints as fast as he can, knowing that Alya is far more capable than he is to get out of there.

Alya joins him after a minute. ”You know what the other guard said? He said ’thanks for taking her out, we've been looking for her for a while!’ and then let me go when I said that I should probably go home. He thought I was probably traumatized.”

She snickers. ”Poor fucker won't know what hit him.”

Nino laughs along with her. This was his favorite part of his job.

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Retroactive

“Chloe!” Marinette squeals as she rushes towards her friend. Chloe turns around and catches an armful of hyperactive six-year-old. 

She had been walking down to her law firm when she was barreled down by the child. How that happened, neither of them had a clue. 

The truth was, Master Fu had been experimenting on Marinette and Tikki to upgrade her transformation, and a newly child-Marinette didn’t recognize him. So naturally, she sprinted to the streets in search of someone she knew. 

Chloe lifts Marinette hesitantly, and the little girl hugs her tight. Chloe was 25, yet she was the same to Marinette. Her blonde hair was the same as before, and her face was similar. 

“Missed you, Chlo,’” she says as she nuzzles her cheek. 

Chloe feels her heart breaking in two- if Marinette was how old she thought she was, then that meant… 

That meant that Chloe and Marinette had been separated by their parents. It had been ‘unacceptable’ for the daughter of the mayor and a fashion designer to be playing with the daughter of a ‘peasant’, as her mother taught her. 

Chloe felt sick to her stomach. 

Instead of voicing her thoughts, she hugs the little girl. “Do you know who made you little?” 

She texts her boss to let her know that she wouldn’t be coming in. Marinette pulls away. 

“It was a wrinkly old man who said that he needed to test on me,” she responds with a pout. She points in the direction from where she had come from. 

Chloe carries her half-way, then drops Marinette. 

“Why was I carrying you? You’re a big girl!” she chastises. Chloe had forgotten how much of a trickster Marinette had been when she was younger. 

Chloe, however, had been turning into the spoiled brat she had been in her lycee years. 

Marinette just looks back up at her with a perfectly innocent smile. 

Chloe sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Come on, lil Mari, take me where you ran from.” 

After maneuvering through throngs of people, they stand in front of Master Fu’s house. 

“Hello, Chloe and Marinette,” he welcomes them after opening the door. Marinette goes inside tentatively, holding Chloe’s hand all the while. 

Marinette goes to the bathroom, so Chloe sits down to talk to Master Fu. 

“Chloe, it is good to see you. I’m sure you must be wondering why Marinette has decreased in age… you see, we were experimenting to see if Tikki could take Marinette back a few minutes in time, similarly to Sass,  but as you see, something went wrong.”

Chloe drinks her tea to calm herself. She doesn’t acknowledge the scalding temperature. 

“So when will she be the correct age again?”  

“Well, I would guess approximately a week…” 

*

“Do you have apple juice?” 

“No.” 

“So… do you have orange juice?”

“No.”

“What about-” 

“There is no juice in this house!” Chloe erupts at the little girl. 

Marinette is unfazed. 

“Well, technically, this is an apartment.” 

“Ugh, ” Chloe mumbles before going back into her work. “Go find a pack of fruit gummies or something.” 

*

Marinette as a seven-year-old was a little bastard. 

“Chloe, Chlo-Chlo, can I show you how to do a roundhouse kick? My cousin taught me.” 

Chloe remembers how this exchange had gone the first time. Spoiler Alert: not well. 

“Sure, show me.” 

Marinette comes too close and kicks her squarely in the nose. 

At least she apologizes.

*

“Um, Miss Bourgeois? There’s a little girl outside, waiting for you.” 

Chloe resists the urge to cuss the tiny demon child out, but just barely. Why did it have to be her, again? 

(“... because you know of Marinette’s identity, and seeing as Alya and Nino have children of their own, and Adrien is in Italy, you are the only one who can be trusted with Marinette.” 

Chloe had to leave to let out her childish frustrations.) 

“Uh, Miss? Are you alright?” She hears the assistant ask again. She nods, her lips pressed thin, and leaves to go see what the child has come for. 

“Yes, Marinette? What do you want?” 

“Uh, well, you see,” she begins. Chloe checks her watch. 

“I may or may not have accidentally lost your cat,” Marinette says in a rushed whisper. 

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. In. Out. In. Ou- 

“Chloe?” 

“Okay. This is fine. Let me just finish my work for today, then we can go back home to see if we can find him.” 

Marinette’s shoulders relax, and a slow grin spreads upon her face. 

“You can wait in the main lobby,” Chloe informs her before walking away. Nine-year-olds were so much work.

*

“I hate you,” Marinette tells her the next day as they eat breakfast. 

Chloe sighs. “Let me guess, we’ve just started to do that thing, right?” 

Master Fu had told her that Marinette would get her memories based on her age. For example, right now she was getting her memories from the first year of lycee. 

That was when Chloe had decided that Marinette would be her victim in a game of cat and mouse. 

“Why should I tell you? What’ve you ever done for me?” 

Chloe bites down a retort. It hurts her pride, but she can’t say something that would make Marinette trust her even less. 

“I’m sorry, Marinette. I’ve apologized before for what I’ve done, but I’ll apologize a hundred times if it means you forgiving me.” 

Marinette pushes her food away and stalks off to her place in the guest bedroom. Chloe sighs again and takes the bowls to the sink. Hopefully, Marinette wouldn’t react too severely tomorrow.

*  

“Honestly, fuck you! Why were you so mean to me? What did you gain from that?” 

“I’m sorry, Mari, I’m so sorry,” Chloe tries, but Marinette grabs her hand and looks at her like she murdered her cat. 

“You don’t get to call me that,” Marinette hisses at her. 

“Fine. I’m heading to a dinner party with my coworkers, feel free to sulk here for the rest of the night,” Chloe says with a carefully clear voice. 

“Fine. Then go, and don’t bother coming back.” 

The door shuts, and the neighbors can hear the torn sobs of a thirteen-year-old. 

*

Chloe comes into Marinette’s room. She’s still asleep, and she aged through the night. The bags under her eyes are more prominent than ever. 

“Marinette?” Chloe asks hesitantly, making her way across the room. She taps the sleeping teenager, and she startles awake. 

“I swear- I swear I finished it, Mr. Agreste! I finished it in time,” she rushes to say, and upon realizing it’s just Chloe, she relaxes. 

“You can still sleep, I’m just going out to grab us some groceries, alright?” Chloe responds slowly. 

“No! I can’t sleep, Mr. Agreste needs me to finish the designs for fashion week.” 

“Marinette, you can sleep. Gabriel doesn’t need you to finish anything, he’s-” Chloe stops herself before she can mess with Marinette’s mind more. “Never mind. Just try to get some sleep, alright?” 

“Okay,” Marinette responds after a minute. Chloe leaves, although uncertainly. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to- oh,” she says upon seeing her already asleep again. 

A slow smile stretches across her face.

*

“Damn, how did I think that I was straight for seventeen years of my life?” Marinette mutters as she flips through a magazine.

Chloe laughs suddenly as she minces the onions. Marinette looks up and colors abruptly. She coughs into her fist and looks away.

“No, no, I’m not judging you but damn, that was funnier than it should be. I can relate- I mean, I didn’t realize I was gay until I turned like, 20.”

“Oh, really? Cool,” she says, still red. 

Chloe snickers to herself. She couldn’t wait until Marinette was back to her normal age. 

*

“Chloe, please don’t go. I can’t lose you again. Don’t go! You can’t go!” Marinette sobs into Chloe’s back. 

Chloe turns around. “I’m not going to leave. Just let me call into work and tell them that I can’t make it today.” 

“O- okay. But you can’t leave!”

If Chloe was correct in her assumptions, then Marinette and the rest of the Miraculous Team had just defeated Hawkmoth. That means that Chloe had gone into a coma, Adrien had gone to court, and Gabriel had gone to jail. 

“I’m not leaving you. I’m right here.” 

After making the call, Chloe leads both of them to the couch. “You’ll be alright, Mari, I swear. Things do get better.” 

“You promise?” Marinette asks after she’s cried herself out.

“I promise.” 

*

“Thank god. Reliving my life was a living nightmare.” 

Chloe sits up from her place on the couch. They had fallen asleep after crying. 

“Mari?” she asks blearily. Marinette hugs her then goes back to her phone. 

“Good morning to you too, babe.” 

“Mari! You’re back to normal!” Chloe grins wide. 

“Yeah. I’m back.” 

“Can I kiss you, then?” Marinette glances back at her.

“Nah.” 

Chloe pouts and Marinette takes pity on her. “Aw, love, don’t make that face.” 

“Kiss it better?” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Coffee & Crushes

“Can I take your order?” Nino says with his customer service voice masking his internal pain. 

“Uh,” the guy says, faltering. He stares at Nino, taking him in. “Yeah, sure. I’d like to order a caramel macchiato.” 

“You want whipped cream with that?” he asks, and the guy snaps out of his reverie. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” 

Nino starts the coffeemaker and uses the fact that the guy can’t see him to observe him. 

He has golden-blonde hair and forest green eyes. He has a piercing in his upper helix- a black hoop. He was pretty handsome, and his clothes were high end. 

Nino quickly makes the drink and gives to the guy.

“Thanks. Can I have your number with that?” The guy asks, grinning.

Nino lets out a laugh.

The guy’s smile falters. “Oh, are you not...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed-”

Nino shakes his head, still laughing.

“No, no. I’m gay, trust me. But what would someone like you, a hot guy, want with me?” Nino gasps, tears threatening to spill out.

 “Your number,” the guy bluntly replies. He slaps a hand over his mouth once he realizes how rude he must sound. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to come off too strong. All I’m saying is that I think you’re cute and I’m like, 80% gay, so… would you like to go out with me? I’m Adrien, by the way,” he rambles. 

Nino’s laughing slows, and his breath settles.

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that,” he says, scribbling his number on the cup. “My shift ends at six, Adrien. You have twenty minutes to choose where to take me.” 

Adrien blushes when Nino says his name. “I-okay. I’ll see you then.” 

He walks to a seat in the corner of the shop and pulls out his phone, presumably looking for places to take someone out to. 

Nino leans against the counter while he waits for another customer. 

Alya, his coworker and one of his friends, peeks out from the back room. She wears a huge grin. 

“So, are you gonna get laid?” 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Who’s Got a Crush?

“This is it, Nino, I’m finally going to ask her out,” Adrien says with a finality Nino had heard the last six times Adrien had said that. 

Marinette walks past, talking to Alya when she stumbles, and Adrien nearly sprints to catch her. 

Alya catches her first. 

Adrien does the awkward shuffle back to Nino. 

“Bro, I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment. Ask her out and save me the suffering.” 

Adrien sags.

“Have you seen her? She’s so beautiful and strong and such a great leader. How can I compare?” says the model, award-winning fencer, and pianist. 

Nino internally groans. 

“Just… just ask her out, man,” Nino responds tiredly. 

Apparently, even Red Bull infused coffee wasn’t enough for Adrien’s antics. 

Adrien drops to one of the nearby benches. He puts his head in his hands. 

“Here, let me just take a picture of you moping and send it to your photographer real quick,” Nino says sarcastically.“ I can see the headline: ‘ Model Adrien Agreste Lovesick and in Pain- Who Is the Mysterious Girl?’” 

Adrien momentarily pulls his head out of his hands to glare at him. 

“Stop it, I’m having an existential crisis.” 

“Well, hurry it up, we’ll be late for class. You can mope in the classroom, too.” 

Adrien stands up in a rather depressed manner and trudges up the stairs with Nino. 

During class, Madame Bustier lets them choose a group to work with. 

Obviously, Adrien turns into a mess at the prospect of having Marinette in his group. 

“Do you guys wanna meet in the library after school?” Marinette asks. “We can meet at four after the Art Club finishes.” 

“Yeah, that works for me,” Nino responds, grinning. “I’ve been meaning to work on a new track anyways, so I can do that while I wait for you.” 

Alya nods. “I can meet with you guys but my mom’s making me babysit my little sisters so I’ll have to leave at like, 4:30.” 

Adrien nods, too. “I have to go to my Mandarin lesson at five, so I might leave a little early, but I’m free, other than that.” 

Marinette smiles. “Great! Then it’s settled, we’ll meet there at four.” 

After Marinette and Alya turn back to there seats, Adrien leans over to Nino. 

“I’ll ask her out when we have to leave,” he says, and Nino can’t help but internally roll his eyes. 

“Sure, bro. Whatever you say.” 

***

“Marinette, I have to go.” Alya heads out of the library after she gets a call from her mom. 

Marinette nods dismissively. “Just make sure you finish your slide at home!” 

“Okay!” The trio hears before the doors slam shut. 

“Uh, what do you need me to do?” Adrien asks after a moment.

“Anything that hasn’t been done yet?” Marinette responds, somewhat joking. 

Since the two of them are clearly about to have a Moment ™, five minutes later, Nino fakes seeing a text from his producer. 

“Ah crap, guys. My producer needs me on scene today. Good luck with the project. I’ll finish my portion once I get home.” 

Marinette frowns but lets him go. “Okay.” 

Nino pats Adrien’s shoulder in a way that hopefully says ‘confess to her and please don’t make yourself look like an absolute buffoon.’ 

He texts Alya on his way out of the library, asking if she was up to having him over. After all, two sitters were better than one, right?

She responds in the affirmative, so he goes over to her place and immediately describes Adrien’s word and misery to her. 

“The idiot blushes like a tomato whoever he’s around her, why did you leave those two alone?” she exclaims. “They won’t be able to focus at all!” 

He sits up from where he had been lying down on the bed. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You left our project in the hands of two people who can barely function!”

“So what you’re saying,” he begins slowly, “is that Marinette has a crush too?” 

She nods and he flops back onto the bed. 

“If they don’t get it together, then we have to stage an intervention.” 

He doesn’t argue. 

***

Alya gave Nino poison last night. Well, maybe not poison exactly, but close enough. 

He was practically vibrating because of Alya’s illegal Martiniquan coffee. He approaches Adrien with fervor. 

“So, my dude, my good bro, my homie, how did it go?” 

Adrien looks up at Nino with bloodshot eyes. 

Nino takes a step back. 

“She said no. She said that there was someone else and that she was really sorry about saying no. At least she was nice about it,” he sighs.

Nino sits down next to him and awkwardly pats his back. 

“Um, it’s alright. Maybe if you just be really nice to her and show her your charming side she’ll fall for you,” he offers. 

If it’s possible, Adrien droops even more. Nino bounces his foot. 

“No, I don’t want to be that kind of guy. I guess I’ll just have to move on from her,” he says, standing up. He still has a dead look in his eyes. 

Nino doesn’t know what to say. How, exactly, does one comfort a bro who's been rejected?

“Yeah, you do that,” Nino responds after an awkward silence. “I bet someone else can see you in the same light that you see them.” 

“I guess.” 

Nino awkwardly trails behind his friend. When they reach the classroom, Adrien and Marinette avoid each other like the plague. 

Alya and Nino exchange a significant glance. 

Clearly, they needed to stage the intervention now. Otherwise, they would never get over themselves. 

***

The next day, Nino waits in front of the school for a good thirty minutes, jittery with Alya’s coffee, until Adrien’s limousine shows up. He grabs Adrien by the shoulders 

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Disorder and Mayhem

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everyone else! Please welcome: The Cesaire Circus!” Alya announces grandly.

Marinette giggles, then immediately slaps a hand over her mouth. Alya bows and Nino rolls out on a huge inflatable ball- at least to them, four seven-year-olds. Marinette runs behind their curtain to get ready for her tightrope act.

“Welcoming: Nino the Mighty, ball-runner! Watch him sprint across the room without falling!”

Nino struggles to run on top of the ball and trips spectacularly. The ball rolls over him, and Alya continues, unaffected. Marinette barely manages to keep it together from where she was peeking at her friend.

He sends her a thumbs up.

“Introducing: Adrien the Fearless, our resident lion-tamer, with Chuckles the Chunky!” Alya says with grandeur, sweeping her arms across the stage to gesture at Adrien.

Adrien stands at the corner of the stage, and a chihuahua wearing a tacky orange wig sits next to him. It blinks lazily.

“Jump through the ring of fire!” he commands, holding a hula hoop covered in Cheeto dust. It was meant to be covered in Cheetos all over, but carpooling and getting ready had awakened their hunger. A lone Cheeto hangs off of the rim.

Adrien lowers the hoop until it touches the ground. The chihuahua walks through it slowly. Nino claps loudly when it does, inciting confused applause from the audience.

“Alya, where did the dog come from?” Ms. Bustier asks.

“The corner of Rue d’Avile,” Alaya responds before going back to the circus. Ms. Bustier pales in the audience.

“Walk across the beam of fate!” Adrien says, pointing to the empty mini-pool that had a plank across from it.

He lifts the ‘lion’ and places it on the plank. It walks as if drunk, and it falls into the pool.

Adrien bows, despite his obvious failure.

“Introducing: Marinette the Great, with her tightrope act!”

Marinette prances across the stage to the beam setup. One of the volunteers tries to help her up the stack of gym mats, but she pushes him away and climbs up with the precision of someone who has fallen out of trees far too many times.

Once she mounts up, she walks across it like a ballerina, her tutu projecting her as the epitome of grace.

She trips.

She nearly plummets to the ground, nearly giving her a terrible, horrible scratch. However, she saves herself by grabbing hold of the beam in a koala-esque manner. She continues her climb upside-down.

Alya applauds her as she nearly finishes. Marinette plummets to the ground, sending a safety mat sliding.

The mat hits Adrien’s shin with enough force that he reflexively punts the poor chihuahua in front of him at Nino.

It bits his lower stomach where it lands, and Nino falls back onto the ball, falling over and rolling the ball over to Adrien. Adrien pushes it away haphazardly and it runs Nino and the chihuahua over. Nino groans in pain.

Marinette, who had been brushing herself off from her fall was in for a surprise when she was balled over by, well, a ball. When she stands up, she picks the ball up over her head and Alya cues for them to all bow.

“Thank you for watching our circus tonight, folks!” Alya says, unperturbed by the pure chaos around her- Nino was still doubled over in pain, Adrien was wrestling with an extremely vengeful chihuahua, and Marinette had been flattened by the sheer force of the ball.

The audience claps slowly, and soon laughter mixes in, too. Alya bow, and glares at her friends when they don’t do the same.

“Thank you!” Adrien says after he pries the dog off of his leg, his sweet voice resonating with the crowd.

Nino finally stands up. “Thank you all for being such a wonderful crowd!”

Marinette turns around and faces the people. “Thanks, everybody! I love you all!”

The four of them join hands and bow one more time.

***

“Oh my god. Why were we like that as kids?” Marinette wails into her comforter after the old CD ends. Adrien pats her on the back, also unnerved.

“It’s okay… we’ve all changed, right?” he says, not sounding particularly certain.

Nino frowns at the screen.

”I remember all of that, but do any of you remember where,” he says, stifling a laugh, “Chuckles the Chunky chihuahua came from? Wow, that was a tongue-twister.”

Alya pulls her gaze away from the blackening screen. She grins.

“Nino,” she begins, and he already regrets asking the question, for fear of Alya, “do you remember Rue d’Avile? Near the old school?”

They all pale. Rue d’Avile belonged to a gang of street thugs when they were kids.

Nino swallows. “Yeah, why?”

“I may or may not have stolen him off the sidewalk and forced him into my family.”

Nino just shakes his head. “Wow, Alya. I’m not even surprised.”

Adrien chuckles. “Hey, do you remember the look on Mrs. Lahiffe’s face after she saw how many bruises lil’ Nino got? She was appalled!”

Nino laughs along with him. “Yeah, she wanted to separate the four of us, but I told her that no matter what she did, she wouldn’t be able to separate us.”

Marinette smiles. “It’s hard to separate people who can synchronize falling,” she jokes.

Alya cracks up. “Yeah. Remember Mrs. Lebeau asking us if we were all right? I think I was the only one who could get out of her grasp because I was the only one who had gotten off without any injuries.”

Nino rolls his shirt up to reveal a light scar on his abdomen. “This still hasn’t gone away, all because of your chihuahua. I mean, why did I have to suffer the most- Mari’s the clumsy one!”

Marinette shrugs.

“I started it, so I guess that I’m the one who had to pay the least for it,” she says instead of refuting him.

Alya claps her hands together. They all look at her, and she grins; it’s a big maniacal smile that could only mean trouble. They all gulp in unison.

“If you’re all done cringing about this video, do you want to watch another?”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Stagnate

“Ms. Dupain-Cheng?” Nathalie asks. Marinette turns to face her from her piano.

“Yes, Nathalie?” she responds.

“Your mother has requested your attendance in the opening of the Bourgeois Hotel in three days. Miss Bourgeois will also be attending.”

It takes all of her willpower for Marinette to not tilt her head back and scream at the top of her lungs. She settles for a sigh instead.

“Okay. Can you tell her that I’ll make my own dress?”

Nathalie nods and hits something down on her tablet. “I’ll tell her that.”

“Thank you.” Marinette moves to her table and starts designing the dress- it would be a tight schedule, but she could do it.

***

“Mare-bear!” Chloe practically screeches as she sprints across the room in her heels. Marinette braces herself for the inevitable jump- if she was going down, she might as well go down with some dignity.

“Hi, Chloe,” she says weakly, petting her hair after she had launched herself onto Marinette.

Chloe pulls herself off of Marinette long enough to look at her dress. “Mari! Did you design this yourself?”

“Yeah, actually. I did it in three days with no sleep, so that has to be some sort of record.”

“Marinette. You have to get sleep,” she says condescendingly.

“Eh,” she responds, shrugging her shoulders. “Where are the snacks?”

Chloe just sighs and points to them.

“Don’t eat-” she starts, but Marinette’s already halfway across the room. “Too fast.”

Marinette heard her mother’s heels approaching after she ditches Chloe.

“Marinette, you should not abandon your friend. I raised you better than that.”

She wants to retort, ‘You didn’t raise me at all,’ but she instead bows her head and looks at her feet.

“Yes, Mother. I’ll return to her in a moment.”

“Good.” Her mother stalks off, probably to terrorize a poor client or plan something with Audrey.

“Hey, Chloe, what were the names of the kids in the class?” she asks after she finishes eating a croque-madame.

“Well, you don’t need to know anyone’s name in class. They’re all losers anyways.”

Marinette frowns. “Chloe.”

She just pouts in response.

“Fine. Well, there’s Ivan and Mylene, who are disgustingly in love. And there’s Nathaniel, who’s an artist. There’s Max and his jocks, Alice and Kim. You know Sabrina, obviously. Juleka and Rose, too. There’s this new girl, Alya, and her boyfriend, Nino. And then there’s Agreste,” she says, spitting the name with venom.

Marinette tilts her head. “You’ve told me a lot about this Agreste guy. Why don’t you like him? What makes him so bad?”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Don’t even get me started. He’s just so nice to everyone, and he gets into their minds. I bet he’s manipulating them to do stuff for him. And on top of that, his parents are bakers.”

“So? What’s wrong with being a baker?” she asks defensively. “Or have you forgotten that my father used to be a baker, too?”

Chloe diverts her eyes. “Sorry, Marinette. I’ll try to be nicer. I know you’re trying to help me, but I think I’m a lost cause.”

Marinette internally rolls her eyes. Chloe was back on her bullshit.

“It’s okay.”

***

“Hey, Adrien. Wanna play Mecha Strike after school with me?” she asks one day at lunch.

“Um. Uh, sure play Mecha Strike fine,” he stutters out. She nods happily continuing to eat her croissant. She wondered if she still intimidated him- she had apologized after the gym incident, but it seemed like maybe he was still afraid?

“Hang on, I've gotta take this call,” she says when her phone starts ringing.

“Yes, Mother?” she says, walking away. It was oof that her mother was calling her. Usually Nathalie would call.

“Marinette, I need you to come home. Your father… his condition is deteriorating. He won’t make it much longer.”

“What do you mean?” she responds, her eyes already filling up with tears. She looks to the sky to blink them back.

“I got a call from the doctor- she’s saying that he has less than three hours left. The infection is spreading over his lungs and heart.”

Tom Dupain had gone into a magic-induced coma at the age of twenty-eight. Marinette knee that he had some sort of infection spreading through his body, but she never imagined that he’d actually die.

“Okay, Mother. Is the Gorilla coming to pick me up?”

“Yes, he’s on his way,” she says, and the phone goes silent.

She walks back to her friends.

“I’m sorry, guys, I have to go home. I’ll call you when I can talk to you,” she says almost robotically.

Adrien’s face is scrunched up in concern, and she can’t help but think how cute he looks, similar to her Bug.

She walks away.

***

The funeral is held on a bright, sunny day. Marinette wishes it would rain. She watches as her mother stands near her, her face not showing any emotion.

She watches her grandmother and grandfather weep as they watch their son being lowered into the ground.

Marinette feels nothing.

Bridgette sobs, and she watches Felix comfort her. She sees a few unfamiliar faces- the patrons of her parents’ old bakery, his old university friends, and some of his relatives.

Adrien watches a single tear escape her eye, then no more.

He knew what it was like to fear for someone’s life- his mother had had breast cancer. He had cried freely. His parents stand behind him, and he smiles despite the circumstances.

At least he still had both of them.

Marinette wouldn’t.

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Through the Ages

“Adrien?” She asks as she runs towards him. He turns around. His hair wasn’t blond, he had dark skin and was shorter, but it was definitely him.

“Is that you, Marinette?” He responds as she hugs him. She nods into his chest.

Her hair was a sleek ginger, and she had freckles dotting her face, redder than the Marinette he knew.

“Come on,” she says, pulling him after she was done hugging him. “We should talk.”

***

They sit in a cafe, and she admires his beard. She orders a vanilla latte, and Adrien smiles as he remembers that it’s been her favorite drink since she was sixteen and had introduced her to coffee.

“So,” he starts, stirring his iced americano. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Eh, not much. In this lifetime, I’m Maria, and I’m an engineer. When I saw you, though, I remembered my past life with you- I remembered you, and Chloe, and Alya, and Nino and all the others. It was overwhelming.”

“Same for me. I’m Arun, nice to meet you, Maria,” he says jokingly.

She laughs, and the sound is familiar. “I guess cats really do have nine lives, huh?”

Adrien sighs dramatically. “It’s the curse of being so goddamn fabulous as a cat themed superhero.”

Marinette snaps her fingers. “That’s right! Tikki, my kwami in my past life, is actually my cat!”

Adrien looks at her disbelievingly. “No way. Plagg’s also a cat!”

Adrien waggles his eyebrows. “Guess some things never change. I’m still the cat’s meow.”

Marinette wrinkles her nose. “Dear lord, you still pun.”

Adrien laughs. “Yes. If I remember correctly, I also punned the day of our wedding in our last life at the altar.”

Marinette laughs. “I remember that. The priest was so confused.”

The two think back fondly to the memory.

He snickers and it feels like they’re back home in Paris again.

Adrien’s phone rings. “Sorry, Marinette. I have to go, I have a meeting with a client soon.”

“That’s alright. I’ll see you soon?” she says, paying the tab for the cafe.

“See you,” he says, before hugging her.

“Bye, Adrien.”

***

“You fucker!” he screams at him. “You’re a goddamn cheater!”

He tries to hide a smile in his hand as his boyfriend and also best friend tackles him.

“Goddamit, Adrien, if I had Tikki with me, I’d tell her to scratch your eyes out.”

At the age of fourteen, the soul curse was revealed, and they saw each other for who the other truly was. Now, at nineteen, they were in love and knew each other by heart.

In this life, Maddox and Avery had been best friends before they could walk or talk, so learning that they were soulmates wasn’t difficult information to process.

“Maddox, I’ll kiss you if you give me my controller back,” he tries to say, but then he feels the pressure of his body leave as Maddox gets up and leaves to the kitchen.

Maddox looks back at Avery, and in that moment, his eyes look so much like how they did on the day that their daughter was born in their first lifetime, that he feels himself tear up.

“Hey, you okay?” Maddox asks, and Avery nods his head.

“Yeah, I just had a memory of life one,” he explains, and Maddox nods.

“Just so you know, though, you’re not getting your controller back until you apologize.”

***

“Please? Please, please, please?” She begs.

“No,” he responds, stubbornly drinking his coffee.

“But Mar-mar, please? You said I could…”

“That was before you let out a series of fifty-two puns in five minutes,” he informs her. “I counted.”

“Fifty-two? That must be some sort of record!” pipes up Emilia from the table where she was doing her homework.

“Yeah, but tell your mother that it’d be more impressive if they weren’t all about bees!”

Ariana grins at her husband. “You love me.”

“Yes,” he sighs, after a long swig, “I do.”

***

“No,” she cries, her voice broken. “You can’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry,” comes the strained response. “I’ll try to be there as long as I can.”

“You promised! You promised that this life, we’d die together! But no, you had to get shot,” Annie says wetly. “You promised.”

“I know, love. I wish I could keep it,” Mila responds, her voice already fading.

“Please, please, Mila! I can’t lose you again,” she weeps, and Mila smiles slowly at her.

“I love you, Annie. I’ll see you soon.”

“No! Hang on just a little longer, the medic’s almost here, Mila, please!” she begs to her lover.

“I love you, too,” she says, voice shaking. “I always will.”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

FBI (Fake Boyfriend Impersonator)

“I need you to pretend to date me,” a voice says.

Marinette was startled as she looked behind her.

What she saw made her eyes pop out of her head.

Behind her stood a 6 foot 2 tall god.

Ripped body, angular face, shining green eyes, and fluffy blonde hair that looked like he had run his hands through it a couple of times.

Then the question replays in Marinette’s mind.

“May I ask why? And why me?” Marinette questions.

“My ex just walked in because her restraining order just finished and she was a stalker and resorted to threatening and harming people I loved to keep me to herself. And you looked really nice and absolutely gorgeous and I was going to ask you out but then she walked in and please?” The man rambles.

Marinette giggles.

“Sure. I’m Marinette,” Marinette says, laughing as she holds out her hand.

The man looks visibly relieved as he shakes her hand. “I’m Adrien.”

“Adrien!” A shrill voice says.

Mariette looks behind ‘Adrien’ to see a gobsmackingly beautiful woman behind him.

She had red hair and beautiful hazelnut eyes.

But behind those eyes, laid a shining gleam that sent a shiver through Marinette’s body.

“Hi, Lila,” Adrien says, and Marinette can see the slight panic in his eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lila,” Marinette says, smiling as she holds out her hand.

Lila looks at her in disgust. “The the fuck are you? Back off from my boyfriend, bitch.”

Adrien’s eyes narrow. “The restraining order just came off. Don’t make me place another. And treat my girlfriend with some respect, Lila. We aren’t dating anymore.”

Lila looks shocked before taking a hurt look on her face. “Adrien. We used to be so close, I’m hurt. Those girls were asking for it.”

“You hurt innocent girls. One of them was 7, for fucks sake, I was babysitting her, goddamn it,” Adrien snaps.

Marinette suddenly pulls out a badge from her inside coat pocket.

“FBI, ma’am. Please escort the premises and do not try to come near me or my boyfriend,” Marinette says, voice cool.

Lila grinds her teeth before turning and leaving.

Adrien looks at her in shock. “You’re part of the FBI?”

Marinette lets out a shaky laugh. “No. That was my Halloween costume and I bought a fake badge to complete the look. I was returning it to my friend whose little sister wants to be part of the FBI. It’s her birthday today.”

Adrien lets out a relieved breath. “Ok, for a second I panicked thinking, ‘shit, I’m gonna die.’ But I’m still here.”

Marinette grins. “I’m not that scary.”

Adrien snorts. “Tell that to Lila.”

Marinette chuckles.

Adrien turns to face her, green eyes shining. “So, about that date?”

Marinette smiles.

“I’d love to.”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

The Real Crown Jewels

“I present to you, Her Highness, Princess Marinette Of Taiwan, and Her Grace, Queen Sabine of Taiwan,” their spokesperson announces.

Marinette curtsies slightly, as royalty does.

Adrien stands up from his throne and bows back.

Gabriel nods for him to sit down, then he stands up and walks towards the queen in front of him.

She takes his arm, and they walk outside in the hallway, talking about future arrangements and proposals of marriage.

Adrien doesn’t notice this, however; he’s far too taken with the cunning look in her eyes, with the way she holds herself, hinting at so much more.

“Marinette,” she says pointlessly, as her spokesperson already introduced them. She thrusts her hand out anyways, and Adrien takes it, in awe.

“Adrien,” he responds, though he knows that she knows this already. “Do you want to eat something?”

She gives him a half-nod, half-shrug. He takes it at a yes, and leads her down to the dining hall. She follows, with feather-light steps.

“So, Adrien,” she says, forgoing any titles, “what do you do in all your spare time?” Her French is very good, but a slight accent creeps through.

He sighs in relief. She picks up a macaron with a look of slight distaste and tries it.

“Well, Mother taught me how to play piano, I know how to fence, I can speak fluent Japanese as well as English, and I can dance pretty well.”

She looks back at him with a beam, and switches to Japanese.

“If you can speak such fluent Japanese, then what am I saying right now? I asked about your talents, so let me share mine. I can design my own clothes, win any game of strategy, cook or bake better than any of your chefs, and I, too, can dance ‘pretty well.’”

He startled at the intensity of her words, but shifts to her language.

“You just told me about your talents. I must say, if both of us know how to dance, then why not share one?”

She nods imperceptibly, not at his question, but at approval of his fluency.

“Good enough. You have a slight accent, but that cannot be avoided. Let’s dance,” she responds. He lets her finish her macaron, then offers a hand to pull her up.

She takes it, and they dance without a melody. They choose to waltz, footsteps matching evenly.

“Excuse me, Jean-Luc? Can you play some waltzing music?” he asks in French again. The servant nods and heads over to play a classic.

He leads her out into the ballroom, where the music was playing, and they slide across the floor with the grace of swans.

She smiles, and her great blue orbs look into his green ones.

“Adrien? You’re not too bad, for a prince,” she tells him, and he can tell she means it.

“Thank you,” he responds as he twirls her. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

[miraculous-ladybug-bitches]

Drowning in Sorrow

Marinette swims up to the surface. Luka’s ship would be arriving any moment now. These were the days that she looked forward to the most- the days where he would come by himself, without anyone else to distract him from her.

These meetings had started when she dragged him up to the surface after he ‘fell,’ a test of whether he was a worthy heir to his mother’s line of piracy. Instead, he swam up with a beautiful mermaid, and he was proclaimed Pirate King before his mother could even die. Mermaids like Marinette were a sign of good fortune, and she was thought to be a beautiful, kindred spirit.

When he thanked her profusely, she was bewildered by his politeness. The sailors and pirates she had saved in the past always tried to thank her by touching, kidnapping, or hurting her, so his behavior was a good change of pace.

Luka was busy more often than not, and he got time off once in a fortnight. Marinette pulls herself onto a rock near the cove he was to arrive and splashes her tail in the water.

“Marinette? Is that you?” A voice familiar to her calls.

She turns around and sees a blond head she hadn’t seen in years. He swims up to her.

“Adrien?” she says, hesitant. She hops off of the rock with minor difficulty, and they go underwater.

“What are you doing here?” she asks after an awkward pause. “I thought you’d been exiled by my mother years ago?”

He shrugs uncomfortably. “Well, the Queen banned me from the Mediterranean, but technically this is the Atlantic, so…”

Marinette nods unconsciously, thinking hard. “But why are you here?”

“Why not?” he snaps back. “If you were exiled from the place your family’s lived for centuries, would you want to leave?”

“Yes! I would gladly leave if I were given a choice! Instead, I’m trapped here, damned to help these godforsaken men!” she rages, waving her arms around.

“Then why not leave with me?” he asks softly after she calms down.

“I wouldn’t leave with you! Not after you left without a word, not after you tore my heart out,” she responds, sinking to the bottom of the water, burying her head in her hands.

“I’m sorry. I know that those words don’t mean anything to you, but I really am. I hope that you can forgiv-”

She cuts him off. “No, Adrien. I’m sorry for moving on. We’re good and done,” she tells him and swims away. Luka’s ship comes by, and she taps on the hull of it.

He jumps out, and she kisses him. Adrien feels his heart shatter in two. He can only imagine what she felt like when he left her.

He guesses not all mermaids have fairytale endings.