mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

Yield to Life

~

Cast upon me to overcome

Challenges- day in and day out

Hope for a break that never comes

Many that I could do without

Reluctantly, I have succumbed

And learned to live with all the drought

~

Wondering what is the purpose

Why the fuck are we even here

And why participate in this

I’m not a willing volunteer

Nothing but repeated conflicts

With a notion to disappear

~

I stick around with endurance

Hoping to just get through each day

Not exactly my preference

Thinking of others, so I’ll stay

Giving to life it’s deference

Even if it’s just one more day

~

~Mirkary

[twisted0limbs-deactivated202312]

Du Hazor,

(Authors Note: this poem is a collaborative piece featuring @littlemissjahi , this poem is my 2000th written and published piece across all platforms)

@littlemissjahi

the love i feel for you

is gloomy and diabolically melodic

you make me a bedroom diarist

by default;

and i want you in ways

only my mind can birth

don't you see

that you'll be the death of me

in the absolute best ways imaginable?

you mesh together

my depression and suicidal thoughts

in the most beautiful

and imaginative ways possible

i want to die with your name

lingering on my cold and chapped lips

on the tip of my tongue--

--i want to taste you

with your blood drying itself out

in my mind

i'm all about being

this alienation themed artist

but with you

i reject the very idea

of being antisocial

with reinvigorated passion

you make me scream aggressively

you make me scream violently

you distort my perception

of what a normal world should be

with you

displaying emotional vulnerability

has never felt so damn good

and though it may be

a bit dark

you make my art blossom

in such a disgustingly beautiful way

no matter the melancholy.

- @twisted0limbs -

i love her more than i love the sun

i love her more than i love drugs

i’d abandoned this life i’ve built for myself

just to catch a glimpse

at what it’s like to be loved by her

i’d commit war crimes

just to be held by her every night

her mind is so beautiful

her heart is too

and it’s just if her heart loved me

then i’d be happy

that’s the only justifiable way i’d be happy

but without her love

i’m so helplessly empty

that my mind can’t birth words

i cannot speak nor scream

i fall short at everything

my friendships are all failing

because i’m so obsessed with this idea

that we could be something

we could be anything

we could be anyone we’d want

i’m so focused on what could be

i forget she does not love me

if she’d simply look at me

the way that i am looking at her

she lives in my fantasies

she lives in my stories

she lives in my mind

she so kind

but she doesn’t love me like i love her

she doesn’t want me

the way that i need her

i’ll tie the noose and tighten it tonight

do you think she’ll love me when i’m gone?

do you think she’ll need me when i’m gone?

do you think she’ll want me when i’m gone?

i notice i want things when it’s far too late

maybe she’s the same as me

maybe she wants things she can’t have

and she’ll want me

once she can’t have me

which is fine

as long as she needs me at some point in time.

(Happy 2000th Published Poem! Thank You @littlemissjahi for writing with me. 😘)

[mirkarypoems]

Call to the void-

A frequent desirous notion.

I struggle to avoid

And still, I tell no one

~

If I go, please forgive

I’ve Intrusive thoughts

But I usually want to live

Still, I’m afraid I might jump.

~

A tantalizing desire,

Felt often enough.

Where my own mind conspires

That it’s just had enough

~

I stay away from any tall ledge-

Not because of the height.

But fear for the freedom of death,

And all of its mysterious delight.

~

~Mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

Please take your time with me

I’m sensitive with a heart of glass

You can break it, guaranteed

For it’s already been cracked.

~Mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

No need to find somebody else to hate…

I alone live with the choices I’ve made.

No matter what is the situation,

I’m fixated on self-depreciation.

~Mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

Dipped in despair

Not desperate

Too much to bear

I accept it

still having fear

Some with prayers

Whilst full of tears

Familiar feel

I’ll choose to hide

masking what’s real

Trapped inside

I’ll do my part

To just survive

Harding my heart

Trapped inside

~

Mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

The dreams in which I’m dying

Are the best I’ve ever had

[sufferedsadness]

I miss you, but please never come back.

[lovelydwyn]

[mirkarypoems]

“Trigger Warning”

Despondency and sorrow

Determined to go now

Barrel to hollow

A gulp & heavy swallow

Desperate condition

Finger in position

In the shower, on my knees

Tears streaming down my cheeks

Unable to see, eyes full of saline

Try, But unable to squeeze

Something’s stopping me

Raw emotion, can’t break free

Violently shaking

Please,Please help me

Repeated flashings

of future memory;

The loved ones grief

Preventing me

From this devastating deed

~

-Mirkary

[mirkarypoems]

Thoughts pervading,

Stuck in this line.

Patiently waiting

For my turn to die.

Frequently debating

When to say goodbye.

~

Ratio continually shifting,

Daily doses of gloom.

I merely exist

In a lonely costume.

As Impatience persists

For My inevitable tomb.

~

No new spectacle to behold

Not a thing left to see.

Just a very tired soul

Overlooking the beauty.

And feeling oh so cold

With Nothing left within me.

~

Just can’t find a way

Yet- To say goodbye.

To Leave them all behind,

Knowing the tears they’d cry.

Living- I’m no longer inclined

…impatiently waiting for my turn to die.

[mirkarypoems]

Waking up disappointed

Living is hard to accept

Reprieve that’s not yet granted

Just another failed attempt

[quotemadness]

“It is sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.”

— Henry Rollins

[quotemadness]

“Maybe we judge people too much by their looks because it’s easier than seeing what’s really important.”

— Alex Flinn

[twisted0limbs-deactivated202312]

A Grave Called ‘Love’ A collaborative poem with @littlemissjahi )

@littlemissjahi ⬇️

if i was buried alive

would you abandon me

in the quiet morning dusk

where sleep for me

would be impossible

or would there be no reason

for the tears of heaven

to wash away your grieving sorrow

because you'd be there with me?

listening to my heartbeat

beneath the earth

while your fingers--

--full of life

interlock with my own cold digits

perhaps this is a dark envisioning

of what i see of our future

is it perhaps that you and i

share so much love

that it burns like a fire

intent on destroying our skin?

bury me alive--

--with your love

bury me alive--

--with your lust

bury me alive--

--with just us

alone we are in this world

unknown to others

so it's safe to ask you the question

with nothing but privacy on my side;

what were your intentions

when you sent your love to me

in the form of a shooting star

that tore a hole through my heart?

was the mental establishment

within your brain was that

i wouldn't survive

and therefore be buried alive?

(@Twisted0Limbs) ↙️

i am laying in a coffin

my coffin

awaiting my death

however i am not yet deceased

simply waiting to be

they’ve thrown the dirt over me

chained the lid to this wooden box shut

they’ve engraved a headstone

with my pretty name

and some stupid words like

“gone but never forgotten”

something boring like that

i am dead to the world

however i possess a considerable

amount of consciousness for a dead girl

am i really dead?

maybe i just don’t know it

my eyes are wide open

and my hands can trace along

the ugly white interior of my coffin

my mind still works

i can still breathe

and i think i still have a heartbeat

i don’t think i’m dead

i’ll run out of oxygen and i’ll die

a slow and sudden death

i don’t know how i got here

but i’m here

gasping for air

as i’ve realized

i am not dead yet.

[The First half of this poem is credited entirely to @littlemissjahi the second half is credited to Twisted0Limbs©️]

[littlemissjahi]

[flacomexicano-deactivated201806]

suicide be callin me n I ain’t gon lie sometine I wan pick up!

[cumnumb-blog]

“I am both worse and better than you thought.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath (via wordsnquotes)