I hear some songs and try to chase what i felt about what when i use to listen to it and i can't. i think my subconscious just faces the fall out from it through my nightmares later. No point in making my body deal with that, but sometimes someone just puts on a song and I want to remember. I think not being able to remember compounds the loneliness. Maybe it doesn't, maybe remembering vividly is the worst thing you can be afflicted with. The lack of memory does a lot of weird things to my identity though. If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? If i dont remember who has witnessed me, have i changed, have i been, are there aspirations of who i can be? I'm not so ethereal anymore. I'm here on the ground, and its scary. I mean ill always be who i am, being down here just makes things worse. My husband keeps me down here. To be honest he doesn't have enough money to keep me aloft. To keep me aloof. I was never suppose to be here though. It's not his fault. My Mother is Holy. She raised me to be somewhere else. She raised me to be loved and for the world to be Just. No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal.
