How to tell someone you’re miscecanis
Casually introduce it.
There’s no need for big “coming out” letters.. Miscecanis is simply a lifestyle that you partake in, and it’s likely you want someone to know because you want them to participate somehow, or you’d just like them to understand you so you can behave a certain way around them. Don’t make it sound like a big deal, otherwise it will become a big deal, and it doesn’t need to be. Start by saying things casually, like “oh my gosh! You have big alpha/beta/omega energy!”. Show them things you like, for example if you’re an omega and like collecting plushies and blankets, tell them about it. Use simple terms, don’t go in depth. Bring things up nonchalantly, in a casual, maybe even silly way. Show them memes, cute aesthetic photos relating to a/b/o, and maybe even read them some excerpts of stories (sfw of course). Maybe tell them a bit about things you like to do, like if you nest, but use discreet terms like “I like to build pillow forts because it makes me comfortable!”. Don’t rush into it, and don’t bring up a bunch of hyper specific terms right away! That will usually put people off. These things are easy to pass off as personality traits, so just start slowly bringing it into the relationship. Gauge their response, if certain things make them uncomfortable, don’t do them anymore. If they seem confused or interested, this leads me into my next point...
Allow them to ask questions.
Undoubtedly, people will have questions. You need to be open to all sorts of questions and be willing to answer them openly and honestly. They will be confused. Some questions may seem offensive, but don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Stay strong and collected while you answer. Plan your responses. Go in depth as much as they’re willing to hear, but....
Don’t overexplain it.
Overexplaining, when not necessary, can make things uncomfortable or go to fast. Take things at a pace that the other person is willing to go. Explain as much as they seem interested in knowing. Don’t say things that are too much information to take in all at once, especially when it comes to omegaverse and miscecanis lifestyle. Don’t be pushy about anything, just answer questions in a calm and casual way.
Be open and honest.
Like stated before, opennness and honesty are the key here. Don’t hide things because they’re “too weird”. If you take it slow and introduce things at a proper pace, going into depth when the time comes is important. Don’t keep things away from someone who’s willing to learn more. You need to tell them what it means to you, what you want from them specifically, why you’re telling them this, and plenty of other important things must be said. Especially if you’re expecting them to participate, be willing to explain everything truthfully. When they’re ready, starting explaining terms. If they’re genuinely interested and want to know more, sending them resources or guides can go a long way. Let them learn things at their own pace as well, if they seem like they’d prefer to do their own research.
Approach it with caution.
Don’t expect them to understand right away. Don’t expect them to accept you at all. You need to approach this with caution and realize that not everyone will be comfortable with this type of thing. And that’s okay. You may be disappointed, but please don’t push someone beyond their comfort limits. We are not entitled to people’s participation and understanding, and we can’t blame them for their comfort zones and what they’re willing to do and not do.
Be understanding. Accept the results.
It may not go the way you want it to. That’s okay. It’s okay. You still have plenty of people who will support you, especially if you have other accepting friends or pack mates. You have a whole online community as well. Whatever the outcome, you must accept the results and not push someone into something. If you expect understanding, then you must be understanding. Don’t freak out and lose control of yourself when things don’t go as you’d hoped. Expect that things like this may happen and move on. Apologize for making them uncomfortable, or tell them it’s okay if they don’t want to be a part of it. Be emotionally mature. Don’t guilt trip or yell. Just accept that things don’t always go as we plan, and move on.
Ultimately, not everyone needs to know.
In the end, Miscecanis is simply a lifestyle choice. It may be a very integral part of you and your identity, but it is not something you should lose friends and family over, since the majority of it is personality traits and acting out your interests. You don’t have to tell someone if you feel they won’t be receptive, you don’t have to tell someone regardless if you don’t want to. If you feel like you absolutely must (for instance, if they’re your partner and you want them to participate or be around you while you do these things), then follow the step listed here to the best of your ability. I really hope you get what you’re looking for out of opening up, and please don’t hesitate to ask any questions here if you need more specific advice. Good luck!
here was that post by the way, @miscecrisis ! thanks for suggesting it be on the miscecanis masterlist kind anon :) that’s super cool.
