I just need you guys to survive this college life.

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@miserysposts
I just need you guys to survive this college life.
I just need you guys to survive this college life.
I care so much for these people, now I'm hurting.
Don't let your guard down to anyone.
Not everyone can be trusted,
Everyone can be a traitor.
Ever said a word I love you? and if not, I let you feel what love is.
RETURNING
As months passed by, I've been pressured by some different challenges I encountered. There are times that I tend not to talk with people around me which made me a moody type. pressured academically, in sports, and in extracurricular activities. There are times that I feel so alive but dead on the inside which makes me think to be productive once again. After I finished reading the book "ATOMIC HABITS" I disconnect from my usual doings. And having a planner is my way of returning from where I started and being the best version of myself. According to the book The Subtle of Art of not Giving a Fuck that I read a while ago, "Self-improvement and success often ccur together. But that doesn't necessarily mean they're the same thing." and "Be happier, be healthier. Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster richer, sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more admired." and this my journey continue again. Every night, I'll be posting diffesrent types of blog that occurs in my daily basis. STAY TUNED!
Hold onto me
After a few weeks of being with her, I felt something inside of me wanting her, wanting to treat her right and make her happy yet holding back because of her past. I always told her that maybe I am a mistake but she kept assuring me I am not. I wanted to love her without a doubt but the challenge we are about to face makes me question myself, Should I? but for now, I can say that I am just enjoying the time I am with her and even though the label is not applicable at the moment, I am glad I get to have quality time with her.
Last Sunday, I had breakdown. Feeling stressed and mixed emotions.
then she stays here until Monday morning, around 12 she asked me what's been going on, and one song reminds me of that scenario that night. HOLD ONTO ME by mayday parade. the first stanza hits me.
She made me complete yet, I overthink something that made me drown in my own thoughts. that's the reason why I am afraid to fall for her deeply.
But I love her. more than she knows.
Lowkey
Hello there, Its been a while since I last published a journal of mine, well in the past few months of 2021 I’ve been enjoying my company, less stress, having fun, surrounded with people who cares about my mental health, optimistic people they made me productive and yet happy. They also gave me memories that is worth to remember and for the few months left in 2021 made me met some people which now I treasured the most.
Before 2021 ends, I expressed my gratitude to these people which made my 2021 extra special and indeed it was a roller coaster ride. I also made a new year resolution which I think I can fulfill in the following days and able to accomplish something before ending of a month.
I promised to myself that I will be extra ordinary person now, I am ready to discover and learn new things and most especially is to be productive.
I also enjoy having a lowkey life, less conflict and really it was fascinating to keep everything in private. It was a total fun after all. Maturity I guess? haha.
This year I hope this would be my year to be thankful and meet other people which can sustain their healthy relationship with me, and yes, No to toxic people that can ruin my mental health. if there’s any person that will enter and ruin my mental health and peace of mind, will have no exception but to cut ties.
Moreover to that, I think I’ll be more often be publishing a journal here, As I said, I want to be productive and I guess this is one of the way to be one.
Shift.
October 04, 2021 Start of online classes of the year 2021-2022 and Good news, I am now part of the English major which I dreamed of. shifting to my dreamed course was not just only thing which excites me a lot but also I am taking Military Science 31 subject of ROTC I am indeed grateful to be part of this. Lastly, My university also called out the student-athlete to register for the incoming sport event. And yes I joined.
School works and ROTC doesn’t thrills me, what thrills me is being a part-timer student. commissioning on academic for those students that doesn’t know or have a lot of tasking in their schools and I am here to give them a helping hand.
That’s all my story for the recent days since online class started
Day 21, Rough.
It’s been a long time since I last share my everyday doing, well, Actually I made up my mind now to post my everyday doing. Maybe if I just need to deal or to talk with. I f I had nothing to express my thoughts and feelings.
By the way I’ve been thinking of applying a part time job since I have one month left to enjoy our university break. Guess what! I filed a form cause I want to shift course! ENGLISH MAJOR. I am just waiting for the result, and yeah I hope this time fate will be on my side now.
that’s all.
Good news, I was approved to shift in english major, Thank you LORD. Bye, BSED SCIENCE, Hello ENGLISH.
Shocked
October 12,2021
When I browse to my Facebook story and accidentally viewed someone’s story and I was in shocked that I saw this girl who also betrayed and stabbed me. guess what girl, we’re in the same department. :) I know one day we will cross our path. I know, this might happen. and I can’t wait to show it to your face that I am okay, I am well I stand up on my own with all your judgements together with my ex and I am going to show you both what person you tried to pull down is now successful and achiever. This is not my revenge but this is my beginning.
Day 22, Training
“Your every day routine is your master piece.” Unknown
September 13 when we start our online training of ROTC in my campus. Yes, I did joined ROTC, was it just y trip? no. It’s my will and I want to become a part of it. I really want to be a soldier or a police woman, but as of the moment I chose education for my college years.
We are now graduate for being 4th class and we as still under provisionary, we have titles of our names “CADETTE 2ND LIEUTENANT ________________ 2CL .
I may not took online filling of application for PMA, but I got ROTC, that wasn’t bad after all.
My biggest dream and Goal that I want to achieve as of the moment is to become a CADETTE CAPTAIN and become 1CL who will guide the future 4th class. so I can show off my skill when it comes to teaching and strategies of planning,
I will learn and become future soldier.
That’s all
Day 21, Rough.
It’s been a long time since I last share my everyday doing, well, Actually I made up my mind now to post my everyday doing. Maybe if I just need to deal or to talk with. I f I had nothing to express my thoughts and feelings.
By the way I’ve been thinking of applying a part time job since I have one month left to enjoy our university break. Guess what! I filed a form cause I want to shift course! ENGLISH MAJOR. I am just waiting for the result, and yeah I hope this time fate will be on my side now.
that’s all.
Day 20. “Keep going”
“As long as you keep going, you'll keep getting better. And as you get better, you gain more confidence. That alone is success.” Tamara Taylor
Today is such a wonderful day opening my small business account on Instagram and selling premium accounts and today I sell 2 netflix accounts in it’s cheap price but I am thankful to sell at least twice. I am wishing to have resellers and more buyers too, In coming days.
It takes courage for me to post and to promote my small business account especially when I don’t post on my social media account recently but for my needs, I need to gain more confidence and to be diligent to pay off my hard work.
I did edit some pictures and banner to promote my premiums and I did also enlisted updates on my telegram account to sell there too. It’s not just premium accounts I am promoting but also promoting ACADEMIC SERVICES. I almost got a customer today for academic services but it’s rushed, well it takes every minute hard for me talking with this customer because I just opened my academic service channel and she said, maybe next time she’ll commissioned me if it’s not rush and she knows it’s hard especially on the topic and tasked she was assigning to me, so then she cancelled. She’ll be back, soon, and maybe more to come.
I’ll get better to this small business account of mine.
I just need to give time and diligence to it.
To who ever going to see this blog post, please do support my small business account by following my Instagram account @Mikeypremshop I means a lot.
Keep going, until I become popular on selling premium accounts and a commissioner. I am claiming it.
That’s all for today.
Day 19. “Recreation”
“Pleasure is far sweeter as a recreation than a business.” Roswell Dwight Hitchcock
This day is the last day of my Spotify premium, so I gotta need to renew account or buy a premium account.
I’m done having a conversation with the seller but it happens I made a shop and become a seller just now again.
Maybe this way I can earn money via Online banking, but I am now starting over again, not like before that I do have a lot of buyers.
So to anyone who is reading this Blog of mine, Please do follow my Instagram Business account @mikeypremshop and if you are interested to buy premium accounts, please do not hesitate to drop a DM.
That’s all for today’s blog.
I’ll make my shop bigger. I am claiming it.
SUPPORT ME HEHE
Day 18. “Worries”
“Our fatigue is often cause not by work but by worry, frustration, and resentment.” Dale Carnegie
Today is September 1st and instead of being happy about it, it become my frustration.
It’s our university enrollment day, but I’m still not updating my portal, still waiting for an update from our registrar to launch an information to students wanted to shift course.
Yes, I do want to shift course from BSED Science Major to BSED English Major.
I can’t hold it anymore, I badly want to shift major and focus to it without feeling worry and sad.
Actually I love being a student in Science, being friends with my classmates, the memories we shared and the unity we then established but being in the major which is not my passion from the very first place is not good, for me who always overthink whether it is happening or about to happen makes me anxious.
I was thinking of being a science teacher but I don’t even want that major, taking board exam which not really my passion. How am I suppose to enjoy and love my work with that?
I am not yet updating my portal for my enrollment, I am waiting for an announcement but this waiting makes me sick.
I am wishing, wishing I can really shift course now.
For what I am doing now is really my passion.
In the recent years I am reading and studying, I tend to jot down notes whether I encounter unfamiliar or deep words and trying to search for it’s meaning and applying it on a sentence.
I really want to shift, I really do.
If this time fate will be at my side.
I promise not to waste the effort of fate to me.
I promise to study harder.
But, plan B is on reserve.
If fate will not be my ally this time.
I’ll be dropping my passion, and focus to the major I am not really good at it.
I’ll be focusing and strengthen my weakness.
But, I hope.
Fate will be on my side.
Day 17. “Dreamt”
When we are asleep in this world, we are awake in another.” Salvador D.
I was in the establishment laughing with my friends, we gathered there to have some small talk but this time we’re wearing school uniform, we are laughing and enjoying every moments and suddenly there’s this two guy approaching to us, looking them in distance, their faces looks very familiar, I ignored them and laugh again when they reached near us, they stopped and call my name.
Ah yes! I know them! that one is our friend (ain’t going to drop his name) and that one guy who is beside our friend, I know him very well, he is my EX.
After they called my name, the atmosphere between us become forbidding our friend that calls my name began talking to me and said, “You both need to talk” and I said later after class.
After class I can see them approaching to our classroom and this friend of ours began to call my name again. I halted when I turn around, I cannot see our friend but I can see my ex standing in front of me. I averted his gaze when I was about to turn around and leave him without saying anything, I can hear our friends voice saying “OH LOOK, HE’S CRYING” but I cannot see him around.
When I looked at him in the eye, yes, he is indeed crying.
He is this type of guy who speaks a little. Imagine I lasted 8 months in our relationship with him not talking too much.
After I saw him crying, I acknowledge what our friend said that we need to talk, Without speaking to him that I am now willing to talk and follow he follow me down stair.
I halted as we go down stair and ask him is there something he would like to speak with me, I then again look at him in the eye and seeing his tears falling down again but that’s weird because he is smiling. He opened slightly his mouth like any moment he’s about to drop a word in his mouth at last! the old him was gone and about to speak when I ask,
He’s about to speak.
But then.
I woke up.
It was just a dream.
But why does he even appeared in my dream? After many years that we stop talking to each other even if we crosses our path in school we never say any single words after we broke up and right after our Junior High Graduation.
But that’s strange, What is he want to say to me?
I tried to go back to sleep after I woke up from that dream, wishing that he’ll appear in my dream again and continue on what he’s trying to say. I know it was already morning but I want to know what he’s been trying to say so I’ll be heading back to sleep again.
After an hour I woke up because of the alarm it set, Sadly he doesn’t appear to my dream to continue what he was trying to say.
Strange, After so many years why an earth suddenly appeared in my dream? maybe If he’s in a relationship now, I was their topic just kidding aside.
I checked my social media accounts, scroll down to it and open my messenger GUESS WHAT, I saw his name 4:22 in the morning and said that he just left the group chat.
What would be the reason of him leaving the group chat? when that group chat is we’re we get an update from our church.
And why does he appeared in my dream and same day as he left the group chat.
Is it coincidence or fate?
Or maybe I was just overthinking.
I don’t know either.
I got up from bed and cleaned the house, waiting for my friend to update me on what time would they arrive on our house but it happens to be cancelled. They couldn’t make it because they parent’s are worried they might exposed to people who has symptoms of COVID-19.
Then I decided to watch Attack on Titans, to ease the boredom and to forgot about that dream.
That dream is really bothering, honestly.
But I am thankful, that he appeared, even if it just a dream.