Loyalties misguided

Indie LOW ACTIVITY & selective RP blog for a canon divergent joel miller - primarily based on the games. please read the tules & about before interacting. written by klemmie

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

moving!

joel has been moved to my multi-muse @loyalxmusings

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

lost in the dark before i found you ; jade & joel

Featuring @seejanerun

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

what does your love taste like?

figs.

sweet, sticky, they have a earthy, honey like flavor. figs were cleopatra's favorite fruit. she ordered that the snake she intended to end her life with, be brought to her hidden in a basket of figs. an ancient fruit that has always fascinated painters, poets and storytellers. yours too is a love that should belong to books and paintings. your love is steady, the people you love know how deep your feelings are because you always remember them how much you love and desire them, and that you will always be there. maybe not with words, expressing your feelings might not be easy for you. it's your actions and attentions that let them know, because they feel seen and heard. figs are lucious, sensual fruits. you're a passionate lover, you crave warmth and touch. you do not fall in love easily, maybe you used to when you were younger but you have now learned better. because you learned that when you love you give it all, you sacrifice a lot and you cannot do that carelessly. like the female fig wasp that, when entering an unripe fig to pollinate its flowers, loses her antennae and wings. you're a quiet devoted lover. yours is an unwavering deeply rooted love. your love is intense, almost overwhelming like figs are, swollen with hundreds of seeds. there's something quite disturbing when looking at its flesh. but that's what it gives it that crunchy, popping feeling, the same of a love that does not know boredom. but beware. you might be a lot to handle, and some times it might be hard for you to remember that not everyone loves as fiercely as you do. let your intensity be a gift, not a burden.

tagged by my wonder tumblr wife, thank you @seejanerun <3

tagging; @savingamerica, @wihlted, @retriibutions [ for whomever you like ], @ghoulishundertakings and YOU!

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

it's one sentence—tame, but enough to turn her on. he never says such things. "joel." his name leaves her on a shy whisper. fingers play with the collar of his shirt. her head lifts, eyes meeting his. "that's..." heat rises to her cheeks. "...encouraging." purposely, she bites her lip again then kisses him slowly. lightly pecking at his mouth, her tongue slips over his bottom lip and she smiles. "let's go to bed, hm?" pulling away from him, she stands, his hand held captive in hers.

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

he's quiet and the way his name is whispered from her lips it sends a small shiver of electric down his spine. lips tug into a smirk as fingers play with his collar and he pulls back to have their eyes meet, he's watching her well mostly eyes are fixed on her lips as she speaks, bites her lip. when she kisses him slowly, he does so back. he stands with her but when he can he pulls her back with his hand holding hers, his turn to press a kiss to her lips and lift her up hands under her thighs to hold onto her, so he can carry her to the bedroom himself.

[sweeetestcurse]

Joel Miller 65/??

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

when you've waited your entire life for something to happen, you can't believe it's happening when it finally does. people like her don't deserve a happy ending. she's thinking of every bad thing she's ever done when her eyes raise to lock with his. being in love with him is her greatest flaw. unless she changes her ways, he'll only find misery.

as the doctor speaks, jade is dwelling. if she had been present, this would not have happened. the bitch would have been dead before she could've reached joel. planning a murder is further proof she doesn't deserve happiness.

when they're left alone once more, she stays in the corner. "great news. maybe you can come home tomorrow. i'll make your favorite dinner." a weak smile shines through. "mystery meat." because that's what she's become good at, mothering him.

hands folding together, eyes cast downward, he wants her to stay with him and she knows. "i should probably run back. take a shower. sleep." which she never would, not without him. "well, at least a shower." guilt keeps her glued to the chair. fear makes her want to run from the room and never return. "do you need anything?"

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

he didn't think he would ever get this fairy tale and happy ending that was starting to form and present itself in his life with jade especially after what happened at the hospital and had lead to this cycle of destruction that now landed him in this bed and the loss of a limb but at least he was alive to continue on and survive, was it for the best, was it what abby had intended? he's extremely doubtful she meant to keep him alive.

he listens closely but it is not until they are gone that he relaxes and immediately his gaze is affixed to jade once more. a tiny tug of a smile on his own features, god what he would give to be able to just scoop her up and keep her here, keep her safe. could he do such a thing with the blood on his hands? it wasn't like she wasn't aware of it, they had the open and honest conversations about it.

he pats the side of the bed when asked what he wants, wanting her to come sit by him again. when she's within reach he moves hair from her face so he can look and study her beauty even with the tiredness and pain he could see reflected in her features; she was so goddamn beautiful to him. he leans forward and kisses her passionately and deeply like a man starved for air. "what i want is for you to take care of yourself for me until i get better and can do so to support you again darling. i meant it when i said it i love you jade." he pauses and brings one of her hands to his lips and then to his chest over his heart. "this beats only for you."

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

the way he speaks to her is unfamiliar. she's always finding herself awkward with joel, not understanding why he says such things. in her experiences men had never been kind unless they were after something. when they got whatever they wanted then they became someone else. he wasn't letting the mask fall. he was wearing one, right?

the heart monitor makes jade nervous, but the sweet kiss does create a smile. unexpectedly, he returns an 'i love you'. perhaps he's trying to keep the peace. "thank you," she says quietly. "there isn't a lot of happy left in this world. you bring me so much."

the nurse enters, seeming annoyed. she tells them the doctor is coming and instructs jade to remove herself from the bed. doing as told, she returns to her corner to allow the physicians to check on joel. offering a smile to the doctor when they enter, she folds her arms across her chest and hopes for the best.

while the doctor speaks, jade tries to calm her busy mind. the incident is fresh. it's a miracle he's still breathing. why is it she's survived all of this time on her own and now she can't picture a future without him? that realization brings fear.

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

he means each and every word he speaks to her. he truly means it. all he wants is to be able to love her, and for her to see herself how he sees her, a beautiful soul who deserves the unconditional love he hopes he can provide. he knows he isn't an easy man for that, but he was willing to give it all for her. "and you bring my life so much light and happiness since you arrived in it. thank you jade."

when the nurse enters with the annoyed look on her face, well he can't help his normal gruff huff at her. even more so when she tells jade to move, he gives that soft half glare but he knows the doctors need to come and check on him now that he is awake. but his eyes do not leave jade even for a moment.

that is until the doctor arrives but his glance keeps returning to jade, he's listening to the doctor of course about the recovery and what to expect that he should still be able to still live and continue on with some adjustments and accommodations made to his life.

the biggest is they say they want to just keep him in for another night just to keep an eye on him, make sure that he is fit to return to his home, which really that's all he wants to do. return to their home which he almost lost, almost left and left her behind. something he never wants to do again and it is something that truly brings him fear more than any clicker or monster out there.

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

already nervous, she's given up before they even begin. still, with joel, the act is nice. ignoring the movie she's seen a dozen times, her attention turns to him. she lifts her head to lock eyes with him. clearly she's under the influence. her friend makes very good cookies. "ah, so you're thinking what i'm thinking." a quiet giggle slips just before she steals a kiss. "say something dirty." teeth raking over her bottom lip, jade doesn't expect him to be any good with this task. "come on. you're so sweet." her eyes widen. "shock me."

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

fingers are careful as they lightly twist at the hem of her shirt, those eyes of his on her now movie is completely ignored and forgotten in the background as his attention is fully on her. he smiles at her giggle and more so at the stolen kiss, he keeps close to her and it has been awhile since he's been intimate with anyone but with her it feels natural, like it should be but he wasn't going to rush this. leans over and he brings his lips to her ear. "you look sexy when you bite your lip like that...but I bet you'd look even better trembling under me in bed."

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

"oh, i don't know. maybe cindy crawford. a lot of guys were crazy about her. if not her, some model type." pretending to be interested in their silly conversation is making her anxious. they're closer now. she leans into him, laying her head on his chest. no interest in the movie, she shuts her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. "i was thinking we could fool around, but i don't want to be pushy."

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

"well i won't deny she's pretty too." he chuckles softly but his eyes are on jade, not even the movie playing softly in the background. "ain't as pretty as you are beautiful however." he holds her close now, his heartbeat was steady but there was an obvious effect her proximity was having on him. "you aren't pushy about wanting that when we are thinking similarly on wanting that darlin'." he admits as he lets the fingers playing with her shirt, move more towards the hem of her shirt.

[colinarthurgeoffrey]

give me a broken, self-loathing man who firmly believes no one could ever love him and a strong-willed woman who doesn’t take any of his shit and gradually becomes his light and hope and sun and stars and i assure you i will ship it til my dying breath

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

"nicole kidman," she echoes, giggling. "i did not see that coming. beautiful. good actress. i was in love with johnny cage. you know? good looking, trash actor, garbage movies. i was going to marry him." she'll leave out the fact about his face being plastered all over her walls. the movie plays on and she's as close to him as she can get, hand resting on his leg, not-so-innocent ideas filling her mind. "are you tired?"

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

"now ya got me all curious to know who you thought i was going to say." he chuckles that deep chuckle as his arm moves from round her shoulder to more around her waist, keeping her close. fingers play slightly with her shirt now, his leg shifted into her touch as he listens to her. "johnny cage, interesting choice. guess you'll have to put up with me." another kiss to her forehead. "not too tired, why?"

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

“you’re hiding something.”

@dazedcanary

"that's the thing, everyone is hiding something these days." he had a lot to hide from the world. biggest was that if he had let them take ellie as planned then perhaps the world would not be such a shitshow as it was right now. but he had many things he hid from people until he was ready to share them. "the thing is, do you really want to know?"

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

Hughie gives Joel a bible.

@dazedcanary

"you trying to tell me something here, hughie?" he holds the book tapping it in his hand. "not really sure i believe in the big man and all that much these days. but thanks?"

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

she makes their sandwiches; the pulled mystery meat she mentioned is deer mixed with homemade sauce. two beers removed from the refrigerator and she joins him, sitting at his side. plates on the coffee table. leaning against him, she watches sylvester stallone play the underdog. "my mother was in love with him. who was your celebrity crush? you know, when there were celebrities."

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

he is sat watching his arm drapes over her shoulder once she joins him leaning against him. remote on the side of the couch now. he smiles and turns his head to look at her when she speaks, he can't help the chuckle that leaves his lips now thinking on celebrities and how all this if they survived may be a harsh dose of reality for some. "mhmmm nicole kidman immediately comes to mind, she was real good in moulin rouge. what about you?"

[seejanerun-deactivated20260503]

she never wants to leave his side again. "i'm sorry i wasn't there." knowing joel the way she does, he'll be upset from her apology. "joel, please don't get angry. i only wish i had been there. promise i won't dwell on it." old enough to understand there's no changing the past, jade will have to live with her mistake.

eyes shutting when he kisses her forehead, the last few tears fall. "i prayed for you." quiet laugh following her words, she looks for a spot on his face that isn't bruised to kiss. "haven't prayed in years and there i was on my knees for innocent reasons."

glancing back at the missing part of his leg, she worries but only for a second. he doesn't seem overly concerned. "no pain then? no sadness?" losing any limb isn't uncommon for humans. hazels fix on his battered face. "you're a tough old bastard, you know that?" she's impressed by him.

"i'll stay forever. how's that?" half joking, another kiss is placed. "i love you, joel." not expecting him to say it back, she only needs him to know in case there isn't another chance. "didn't realize that until almost losing you."

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

"now come on, don't apologise for that." he was glad she was not there for the shit show of what happened out there in the storm, he was upset by her apology for something that was out of her control, but at her plea to not get angry he just holds her tighter for a moment.

he listens to her speak, about her praying for him to the quiet and yet most wonderful sound that is her laughter. his own falls softly from his lips smile curled onto his lips at the kiss to his face. "you on your knees for something so innocent and i missed it." he rubs at her back now.

he looks at jade before down to his leg, following her gaze. it hasn't fully hit him yet, though he does just feel the phantom feeling of it being there; he knows that's going to take some getting used to. his eyes look up to meet hers now. "i had someone to fight for to get back to. i had to be tough for you."

and then his heart skips a beat, evident thanks to the machines around him that he is attached to, which also beep more when his heart rate quickens at those simple words; i love you joel. he leans forward doesn't care about the pain and softly places a kiss to her lips. "i love you, jade. i'm sorry it took until now to say it."

[spunsugarmusings]

Give my muse enrichment!

Yes, like a zoo animal. Give them a puzzle, a treat, a toy, anything you can think of! Rattle the bars of their cage and give them something to do!

[misguidedloyalties-moved]

“it ends however you decide.”

@seejanerun

he's looking up at the stars from the porch of their now at this point shared home in jackson, smiling as he does so. the answer to that decision was easy. "with us. together. no matter what happens darlin'." he looks over to her now, serious but smiling. "jade you are my world to me and that's all i need to keep me going. even if i'm less of the man i used to be." he chuckles at his own joke, shifting his prosthetic.