Hobo Shadow

Shadow the Hedgehog RP blog Tracking misguidedmystery Please read the rules and about pages.

[intrepidtempest]

we’ve got a cards against humanity set and shadow’s just reading out the black cards and filling the blanks with ‘dick’

[misguidedmystery]

Dick. That’s how I want to die. All the world’s dicks are mine to keep. Why can’t I sleep at night? Dick. The Babylon Rogues are known for dick. Eggman has developed a smaller, more efficient version of dick. I would bend over for dick. Dick kills about 450 people a year in Adabat. What does Eggman reward his henchbots with for a job well done? Dick. Have no fear, dick is here. It doesn’t matter now what happens, I will never give up dick. How am I compensating for my tiny penis? Dick. What do you not want to find in your Chun-Nan food? Dick. Here at Eggman Enterprises, we stand by our motto, “Dick.” Where do babies come from? Dick. Where’s that damn dick? What can you always find in between the couch cushions? Dick. What’s my secret power? Dick. Get a load of dick. Gotta go dick. What gets better with speed? Dick. I love the smell of dick in the morning. Long time no dick. Rings can’t buy me love but it can buy me dick.

[misguidedmystery]

Quick how to on how to report blogs because Tumblr is nonfunctional in two steps:

Step 1. Search the blog name. Step 2. The preview square for the blog will come up in the results. Click on the little dude and hit report.

Despite what Tumblr says in its help section you cannot click on the share button on the post that needs to be reported. You also can’t report from the blog itself, even if they’re using the default theme. You can't report from the mobile app either.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

“Shut the fuck up and bring me my fucking vodka.”

“Ask nicely.” He’s gonna get him orange juice anyway.

[misguidedmystery]

"Shut the fuck up and bring me my fucking vodka, PLEASE."

[misguidedmystery]

Knukklehed: Heyyyy, you're looking good, Shadow, ol' buddy, ol' pal, it's been a long time! *smacks the angsty edgelord on the back, immediately regretting it and clutching his spine-punctured palm* Oww... Uh, I mean- owwwww you been?

"Touch me again and you're going through a wall." He just woke up, give him a couple of hours.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHGHGGGHGGHHHGHH

“Mornin’, dork.”

[misguidedmystery]

"Shut the fuck up and bring me my fucking vodka."

[njoonies]

tan elegantes 💄💋

been thinkin about these two a lot lately…

[misguidedmystery]

UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHGHGGGHGGHHHGHH

[owlbunn]

Oldish crap I cleaned up.  (Fun fact, the nakey one was supposed to be a cover of something I never got around to making. :^) )

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

Shadow looked away, huffing. He mumbled under his breath, something about them being right.

He pulled his wrist away from Sonic, but remained in his place. “I don’t care what they think about me. You know I don’t. I’m as bad and as good as they want to think of me. It’s when they drag you into my fucking shithole of a reputation is when I actually care.” He grunted, hand sparking a bit to try and alleviate his emotionally fuelled Chaos surge.

“…Can I at least scare them off and can I do it with the shotgun? I’m sure Rouge doesn’t want them hanging around the club entrance like they are.”

“They’ll call the cops on you.” He shook his head. “Just… Get Rouge to call security or somethin’.”

Sonic sighed softly. “I know you don’t really care what they think, but… Don’t give em an excuse to start a witch hunt again. And of course I’m gonna be part of your reputation now, I’m gonna stick with you through anything. That’s kinda what being partners means, ya dork.” The blue hedgehog flashed his signature lopsided smirk. “B’sides. They’re just mad that you’re getting more action than their sorry butts, am I right?”

A little bit of humor to lighten the mood.

[misguidedmystery]

Shadow smirked a little, trying his best not to laugh. He eventually sat back down on the bed. "You're too good to me..." He threw the TV remote across the room, he wasn't going to watch anything for about a month because of this.

"Can I at least discharge over them? I'm getting kinda pent up..." His hand sparked again. He quickly realised what he said and sighed loudly.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

Shadow glared at his boyfriend, a look he hadn’t given Sonic in a very long time. They had personally insulted the both of them, it’d take a little to calm him down.

“Why? They don’t give a shit about us. They don’t even give a shit about what you do for them. They just want a story, no matter who it hurts.” He tsked, flexing his hand as he wondered if he would be able to use his powers offensively yet.

Rouge wasn’t wrong about how Shadow acted around the paparazzi.

Sonic stared back, unflinching. He didn’t let go, not even loosening his grip a little bit.

“Yeah, they suck. But that doesn’t mean you get t’hurt them.” If anything, his grip tightened - but his tone grew softer. “Some people think real bad things about you, Shads. Don’t… Don’t prove em right, okay?” His voice grew even quieter.

 “Please…”

[misguidedmystery]

Shadow looked away, huffing. He mumbled under his breath, something about them being right.

He pulled his wrist away from Sonic, but remained in his place. "I don't care what they think about me. You know I don't. I'm as bad and as good as they want to think of me. It's when they drag you into my fucking shithole of a reputation is when I actually care." He grunted, hand sparking a bit to try and alleviate his emotionally fuelled Chaos surge.

"...Can I at least scare them off and can I do it with the shotgun? I'm sure Rouge doesn't want them hanging around the club entrance like they are."

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

“Sure. While we watch TV.” He quickly smooched Sonic’s lips and turned the TV on. Conveniently, it was on a talk show already discussing the sex tape.

Shadow watched intently, pushing Sonic out of the way with strength rarely used on the blue hedgehog. He seemed calm, too calm. His eyes darted briefly to where he kept some of his guns. After watching as much as he needed to he pushed himself out of the bed and walked to the window, peering down at the street. Yep. Paparazzi were standing at the doors to the club below. If this was just another one of his own sex tapes he wouldn’t have flinched, but they involved Sonic.

Now sniper rifle, grenade or shotgun? That was the real question as he approached the weapons cabinet.

Sonic stumbled briefly, taken by surprise as he was shoved aside.

“Shadow, wait-!” With speed that he hadn’t possessed for a while, (still not as fast as he used to be, but quick,) Sonic had lunged forward, grabbing Shadow’s wrist before he could grab a weapon.

“C’mon, no violence! Please??”

The last thing either of them needed was more negative press. It’d been a struggle and a half keeping Shadow’s reputation as a freedom fighter mostly positive. But that incentive paled in comparison to how important it was to keep the people outside - no matter how annoying and parasitic they may be - alive, safe, and not full of bullets. 

[misguidedmystery]

Shadow glared at his boyfriend, a look he hadn't given Sonic in a very long time. They had personally insulted the both of them, it'd take a little to calm him down.

"Why? They don't give a shit about us. They don't even give a shit about what you do for them. They just want a story, no matter who it hurts." He tsked, flexing his hand as he wondered if he would be able to use his powers offensively yet.

Rouge wasn't wrong about how Shadow acted around the paparazzi.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

intrepidtempest:

“Wait-!”

That… Sounded a lot more urgent than he had intended.

“I… Uh… How about we cuddle instead? Television rots your brain, right??”

OH JESUS WHAT DO I DO.

“…” Yep. Sonic’s hiding something. Something big too. “Nah.” He grabbed the remote.

“I wanna see what’s got you all jumpy.”

He quickly grabbed Shadow by the shoulders, proceeding to almost-yell “WHAT IF WE MADE OUT INSTEAD??” kind of close to his face.

Not… Not helping your case, Sonic. Y’might wanna stop that.

[misguidedmystery]

"Sure. While we watch TV." He quickly smooched Sonic's lips and turned the TV on. Conveniently, it was on a talk show already discussing the sex tape.

Shadow watched intently, pushing Sonic out of the way with strength rarely used on the blue hedgehog. He seemed calm, too calm. His eyes darted briefly to where he kept some of his guns. After watching as much as he needed to he pushed himself out of the bed and walked to the window, peering down at the street. Yep. Paparazzi were standing at the doors to the club below. If this was just another one of his own sex tapes he wouldn't have flinched, but they involved Sonic.

Now sniper rifle, grenade or shotgun? That was the real question as he approached the weapons cabinet.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

“Huh.” He rolled up one of the pancakes and started eating it. Sonic was really acting suspicious now.

“But I like reading how petty real celebrities get. It’s hilarious seeing how their biggest problems are people cheating on them and shit.” He shrugged. “I’ll just watch a talk show then. Same kick.” He reached for the remote.

“Wait-!”

That… Sounded a lot more urgent than he had intended.

“I… Uh… How about we cuddle instead? Television rots your brain, right??”

OH JESUS WHAT DO I DO.

[misguidedmystery]

"..." Yep. Sonic's hiding something. Something big too. "Nah." He grabbed the remote.

"I wanna see what's got you all jumpy."

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

“Huh… Thank you…” He was surprised, but given how worried Sonic was after he woke up from the brief coma it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

Shadow squinted a little, Sonic was suspiciously on edge but he shrugged it off. Coma and all, but then he was attacked in his own home… Why would he…?

“I mean, I could go for a nice fuck. That’d be great.” He picked at the pancakes. “Hey did my magazines come in or…?”

“…Noooo. Delivery truck crashed.” He cleared his throat, eager to change the subject. “Besides, who needs gossip like that anyway? We got… We have enough excitement in our day-to-day lives, right?”

He’d probably let Shadow know about the media situation when it wasn’t his birthday. Because Gods know that Shadow deserves a day off. Well, honestly, the hedgehog deserved a vacation but that probably wasn’t going to happen very soon.

[misguidedmystery]

"Huh." He rolled up one of the pancakes and started eating it. Sonic was really acting suspicious now.

"But I like reading how petty real celebrities get. It's hilarious seeing how their biggest problems are people cheating on them and shit." He shrugged. "I'll just watch a talk show then. Same kick." He reached for the remote.

[intrepidtempest]

misguidedmystery:

Ugh… How old am I now? Am I 70 or some shit?

“Goooood morning, birthday boy! I made you breakfast!” A plate of pancakes, to be exact. With like… Chocolate chips and stuff. Just stuff that he thought Shadow would like.

He’s also discretely burnt all the gossip mags that came in the mail. No need to see those, nuh-uh.

“So, I was thinking, we could stay in today. Yknow, relaxing day at home? I can order some food, make a cake from scratch, etc etc-”

Just please don’t go outside.

[misguidedmystery]

"Huh... Thank you..." He was surprised, but given how worried Sonic was after he woke up from the brief coma it wasn't that much of a surprise.

Shadow squinted a little, Sonic was suspiciously on edge but he shrugged it off. Coma and all, but then he was attacked in his own home... Why would he...?

"I mean, I could go for a nice fuck. That'd be great." He picked at the pancakes. "Hey did my magazines come in or...?"

[misguidedmystery]

"It's my birthday so I might as well hit the good shit." He took out a bottle of whiskey, it looked old and expensive. Wandering over to the cabinet he pulled out two glasses. He opened the bottle and smelled the top, smiling. That definitely was the good stuff, a rarity in that home. Pouring the drinks, he couldn't help but start tearing up. He placed the bottle down gently beside the glasses and picked his up. He tapped the side of the other glass with his own. "To us... I know you'd hate what this world's become but I know you'd still love it like you always did... You would have had a great life..." He gulped down his drink, slamming the glass down and sighing before doing the same with the other glass. "I miss you..."

[misguidedmystery]

-whispers- old man.

Fuck you.