another incorrect quotes blog

hi im anna, im 20, my pronouns are she/her, and i hate terfs.

[miss-beetle]

(Slytherin is gazing at Hufflepuff from across the table. When Huff talks you can see every feeling she has. A big smile, a thoughtful frown, and then the most adorable look of confusion. Sly has a soft smile on their lips.)

Slytherin: I love how expressive your face is.

Gryffindor: Yeah sorry Huff, but Sly's right you can be kind of cute.

Slytherin: I never called her cute.

Hufflepuff: Okay firstly - Ouch. Secondly, I'm not cute. I can be really intimidating.

Gryffindor: You have never been intimidating a day in your life, sorry to tell you.

Slytherin: Gryff's right. Here, let's try this. Imagine your whole family being ripped apart by a pack of wolves.

(Hufflepuff pouts her lip, looking genuinely sad at the thought.)

Slytherin, blushing: Fuck, I'm so sorry.

Gryffindor, coughs: Whipped.

Ravenclaw: Can we please get back to working on this assignment?

Slytherin, Gryffindor & Hufflepuff: No.

Ravenclaw: I hate all of you and all of you should hate yourselves.

[miss-beetle]

Gryffindor: You'll be happy to know that I'm almost a real lawyer.

Slytherin: Really?! That's great. Congrats my love.

Gryffindor: Now you can have a defense lawyer if you ever need it.

Slytherin: Honey...

Gryffindor: What?

Slytherin: With all due respect I think I'd have a better chance of staying out of jail if the hamburglar represented me in court.

[miss-beetle]

(It is a lovely day. Ravenclaw and Gryffindor are taking a walk through the park when suddenly Ravenclaw gazes at an older gentleman.)

Ravenclaw: I am inexplicably attracted to that man over there.

Gryffindor: The old guy in the green jumper?

Ravenclaw: Yeah.

Gryffindor: He looks like he's like seventy.

Ravenclaw: Yeah I know that's why I said inexplicable.

Gryffindor: Don't date him. Date me instead.

Ravenclaw: That's the most forward you've ever been. I respect that.

Gryffindor: Yeah?

Ravenclaw: Still kinda wanna fuck the old man though.

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: You look like a painting.

Hufflepuff: I'm just looking at succulents.

Slytherin: And you look so beautiful doing it.

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: Don't worry, I've realised I'm not actually in love with you. I just want to be friends. So you don't need to worry about our friendship ending.

Hufflepuff: Lovely!

(She shows him her latest plant. She gives the sunniest smile Sly's ever seen).

Hufflepuff: I'm naming her Ursula.

Slytherin:

Slytherin: Can I take it back?

Hufflepuff: What?

Slytherin: You're cute as fuck. Can I take back what I said about not being in love with you?

[miss-beetle]

Hufflepuff: You're so cute.

Slytherin: I will end you.

Hufflepuff: Even cuter.

[miss-beetle]

[The following conversation took place between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.]

Hufflepuff: I love you.

(These messages were seen quickly after they were sent, but I received no reply for several hours).

Slytherin: That's a really big thing to say... I don't know what you want me to say back...

Hufflepuff: It's not that big, and you don't need to say anything. Honestly, I love everything. I love my family, my friends, bugs, plants, animals, food and sleep and music and dancing and books and singing and so much more.

Hufflepuff: I fall in love with strangers I meet on the side walk, even though I know I'll never see them again.

Hufflepuff: I kiss my flowers goodnight every night.

Hufflepuff: When I look at brick walls I think about all of the people that have touched them and love those people too.

Hufflepuff: I pull faces at babies in the supermarket and think about the life they're going to live and love.

Hufflepuff: What I mean is I love head first into life.

Hufflepuff: What's the worst that could happen? My heart breaks?

Hufflepuff: My heart is always broken because that's just who I am.

Hufflepuff: So yes, I love you. But you don't need to worry. You don't have any obligation to love me. I love everything and you're apart of that.

Hufflepuff: Side note: I just made cookies for my grandma and they turned out as little cakes. I don't know how this happened.

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: Your parents love me.

Hufflepuff: No. My mum loves you. My dad thinks you're weird.

Slytherin: Is this because instead of saying 'see you tomorrow' to you I said 'yeah yeah fuck off'?

Hufflepuff: I'd say so yes.

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: I don't get why you're always so down on yourself. You're... adorable...

Hufflepuff, blushing: Aww... thank you...

(Slytherin's face is suddenly hit with a look of surprise. They turn this expression into a distinct scowl.)

Slytherin: Who said I was complimenting you?

Hufflepuff: Oh-

Slytherin: You're the worst and I hate you.

Hufflepuff, with a smirk: Even though I'm adorable?

Slytherin: I hope you die.

[miss-beetle]

Gryffindor: I'm tired of you two. You think you're better than everyone else.

Ravenclaw: No we don't.

Slytherin: Well no - I don't, but they definitely do.

Ravenclaw: Excuse me?

Slytherin:  When we see homeless people you always give them change and then give me shit about not giving them any. I'm fine, you think you're Mother Teresa.

Ravenclaw: No I don't. What about you? You take books to cafes and pretend to read them.

Slytherin: You don't go to parties because you hate everyone and make fun of everyone that does go.

Ravenclaw: So do you.

Gryffindor: You also fight like an old married couple.

Ravenclaw & Slytherin: Fuck you.

[miss-beetle]

(Hufflepuff has just returned home from grocery shopping. Ravenclaw ruffles through the bags. Their face suddenly falls into an expression of disappointment, and then shifts into one of annoyance. They reaches into the bag and pulls out a little pot of parsley.)

Ravenclaw: You're joking.

Hufflepuff: What?

Ravenclaw: You have an addiction and when you fall in love they better stop this problem.

Hufflepuff: Screw you. When I fall in love they're going to love plants twice as much as I do. We're going to have a greenhouse and a little room where were dry out our herbs and harvest our vegetables.

Ravenclaw:

Ravenclaw: I'm praying for you.

[miss-beetle]

Gryffindor: Hey there daddy...

Ravenclaw: How drunk are you? Also bitch I go by mummy, you know this.

Gryffindor: Yeah but calling you mummy forces me to develop an emotional connection with you because I've grown up with an absent mother.

Gryffindor: So hey there daddy... whatcha doing tonight?

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: Did you just call me a pathetic puddle?

Hufflepuff: Well you just broke up with me, what did you expect?

Slytherin: I dunno. A cunt, maybe?

Hufflepuff: Oh so you're a self aware puddle.

[miss-beetle]

Slytherin: You believe in me too much.

Hufflepuff: I don't think that's possible.

[high-quality-tiktoks]

What a quirky little recipe

[miss-beetle]

Ravenclaw: You're an idiot.

Hufflepuff: What have I done now?

Ravenclaw: Okay - where do I start? It's nine-thirty at night. We're in the city and a drunken homeless man comes up to you, doesn't make any sense - and you offer him your ice cream cone?'

Hufflepuff: He guessed that it was cookies and cream.

Ravenclaw: So what?

Hufflepuff: I don't know I guess I just thought he wanted some.

Ravenclaw: You're a fucking idiot.

Hufflepuff: Mean.

(The pair walk to their car, continuing to lick at their ice cream cones in silence.)

[miss-beetle]

Gryffindor: Get a load my sultry dancing.

Slytherin: You're doing the robot - how sultry can you possibly be?