simply mae

I'm here. Occasionally. / Late 40s / F (she/her) / NorCal USA (unfortunately) • BL side blog: just-another-y-girl.tumblr.com

[miss-maela]

Whoa! I finally logged into Tumblr again because I wanted to look up a certain blog and I suddenly wondered how long it's been since I've been here. My last post was 2 years ago to this day!

Thankfully I'm doing much better; I'm very happy everyday and my health is a lot better as well. I have lost some of the weight (75 lbs) that made me feel like I didn't want to leave the house. My knees don't hurt as much anymore, and I don't have to use a cane. I still have autoimmune disease like Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and IBS, but I've also recently acquired Raynaud's syndrome! This means that the nerves in my fingers freak out when I touch something cold, then they cause vasospasms that excessively constrict the blood flow, causing my fingers to turn white, and be objectively cold and painfully numb. It's annoying, but it gets better when I put my hand in front of a heater or under hot water.

My current obsession is vertical Chinese short dramas. Unless I'm sleeping, taking a shower, or working, I am watching a Chinese vertical drama. They are absolutely awesome, and I love them so much! They are an efficient and concentrated way to experience the pleasure of dopamine release, so they're pretty much my primary coping mechanism for life during these crazy times.

I hope you all are well! 😘

[miss-maela]

Don't worry everyone. I'm still alive, if regretfully so 🫠

Pics are from last Thanksgiving when I forced myself to go socialize with my family and put on lipstick to feel less pathetic.

The smiles are a lie. It was really difficult to endure being out and socializing, not because my family is difficult (they're all lovely and amazing), but because I don't want to do anything except be cozy in my room and escape reality via my webtoons and shows.

That's also why I've been away from tumblr so much. I don't know if I'll be back, so I wanted to leave an update. Love you all, hate myself, toodles~

[miss-maela]

[anxietyproblem]

[miss-maela]

This is why I'm failing at adulting. I've got the first part down pat, but I refuse to do the second part until it's so inconvenient that I'm forced to do it for my own comfort.

[miss-maela]

Hey Maela I hope all is well. I was wondering if you do dick rates? If not I completely understand

Hello! I'm doing well, thank you. I hope you are well also. I am uncomfortable with dick ratings, because: dicks are important so that's a lot of pressure; I have people pleaser tendencies, but I don't know whether the requester wants a compliment or a put down; and if they want the latter, I'm not at all interested in participating in their kink; further, if they want the former, that'll lead to sexting and I just can't be bothered.

[depsidase]

[youremysunshine8]

Ok I love this???

"baptise me in hot dog water"

Hot dog water - there's a Tumblr post out there I've seen saying hot dog water is the opposite of holy water, due to the fact that a single drop of it will contaminate what it touches. I assume this was partly inspired by this allusion but who knows for sure.

Also the the idea of holy water as inhuman and cleaning vs hot dog water as the remains of feeding someone - often a child - and entirely human. It may be dirty and I do not want it on me but God hot dog water has some memories. You will not wash away my sins. They're mine. Also, anyone can make hot dog water but holy water is refined, restricted (yes anyone can make it in an emergency but lay people are restricted from it)

"you and I both know"

Unlike baptism for babies, this one is done between two people who are both aware of what is happening. The one receiving the baptism gives the orders about what they want to happen. The giver and receiver are portrayed as equals. They are equally aware of their humanity.

"the holy stuff won't take"

Ooof heartbreaking, amazing line. Raises so many questions. What does it mean when the water "takes"? What has the receiver done that makes them unfit for holy water? Or, what has the holy water done that makes it to weak to help, to be a part of your life?

The poem as a whole - I love the lack of capitalization. It adds a sort of intimacy to the poem, and the statement from the speaker. The high words "baptise" and "holy" being offset by "take" and "hot dog". Also "hot dog water" vs "holy stuff." The cadence! I would lick it.

[the-real-seebs]

I love the serious analysis, and I think I find it persuasive.

This also sheds a lot of light on some plot points in Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated.

[zwoelffarben]

Not to turn this into another house full of chintz, but I'mma fuck this poem on the floor.

Meter

There are two readings of the poem's meter that I immediately identify, the first is how I'd want to read it, and the second is how a normal person would probably read it, but both make the same point.

In my interpretation (left), the first line is four wholely irregular feet: an iamb into a dibrach into two trochees; The second line is two trouches into a hanging stressed syllable; And the third line is three iambs.

In the more normal interpretation(right), the first line and second line are six trochees all together plus that hanging syllable in 'knowing' which transitions the poem to iambic trimeter.

And look at the interesting result of that laid bare:

In English poetry there's a tradition, all other things being equal, that iambs are considered the sophisticated foot with trochees often being contrasted as the vulgar or common foot.

The vulgar in specificity "hot dog water" is put in trochee, while the respectably vague "the holy stuff" is afforded iambs. Without the poet having thought of the stress things the pattern actively, this incapulation of the English poetic tradition is astounding. Especially when you consider the

Chiasmus

Chiasmus is a figure of rhetorical construction, in which two pairs of ideas are laid across each other, A B B A. It's one of the more popular figures of rhetoric and if you're looking for it you'll see it everywhere.

In the most literal sense, it's about repetition; but, you can apply it more liberally to ideas, thoughts, or in this case, parts of speech:

The nouns and verb pairs in the first and third lines crossover each other. They are in chiasmus. Structurally, the inversion makes the poem feel more solid, while still furthering emphasizing the contrast between the idea of hot dog water and the holy stuff.

Opening with a command and closing with a result.

[lettering-is-my-music]

[lettering-is-my-music]

#exquisite taste here with the maruman mnemosyne. may I ask about the ass in the corner however @mamoru

in my defense. that's for another post that's in my queue. however. i live alone. and i saw Only your tags first without the photo

so you can imagine my surprise. and my potential terror. when you were talking about an ass in the corner

[miss-maela]

This is why I love tumblr specifically and the internet in general

[miss-maela]

Can I just gripe about something rn? Why is this (cheek bulge) so representative of a blow job when it's practically impossible? I don't know about you, but the space between my upper and lower teeth when my jaw is as wide open as it can get is definitely not large enough for anyone's member. And even if it was, ouch?

Or is this move being performed while the teeth are closed? Utilizing only the space between closed teeth and cheek?! Somehow, I don't think that's it. 🤔

[miss-maela]

I don't know how to speak Korean, but I dreamed in Korean just now when I briefly dozed off. Before I nodded off I was reading a manhwa, but in English. When I woke up, I remembered saying something like "gwaenchaneul gomnida." That means "it'll be alright."

I don't know exactly what I said. You know how in dreams, things can be unclear? Well, what I remember saying is "gwaenchan... ...mnida" which makes sense because I don't know enough Korean grammar. After playing around with papago, this is the closest I could get to figuring out what I dreamed.

Anyway, I'm super excited and shocked that I dreamed myself speaking in Korean!

[miss-maela]

Happy Friday!!! Currently on my lunch break, lounging in my car in the shade, listening to the breeze 😊

[miss-maela]

You asked for a swimsuit video ~ how about a bikini and a hot tub? 😘

[miss-maela]

Don't remember what made me follow forever ago, but when I came back to Tumblr I was glad to see you still here

Welcome back, and thanks for following! 😘

[miss-maela]

Morning Pretty Girl. I'm feeling nosy today. Are you smiling?

I don't know when you sent this, but good morning! And thanks to your ask, I'm smiling now!

[miss-maela]

You have any dick sucking pics? censored or uncensored?

Yes I do, but I'm not comfortable posting them on Tumblr. Sometimes I share them directly with people I enjoy chatting with.

[miss-maela]

Glad to see you're feeling better.

I remember seeing a video of you trying on swimsuits a long while back and loved your energy/personality. I don't remember where I saw it or saw it shared. Do you post that sort of stuff anymore?

Really? Hahaha, I made that for a friend with a swimsuit fetish. I haven't made any content like that for quite a while. I have been thinking about making videos again but it's still just a thought for now. I'll post here if I do!

[miss-maela]

Been a fan of yours for years and it's always amazing see your smiling face <3

Thank you!!!

[miss-maela]

Can we get a selfie today, please?

Okay!!!

[miss-maela]

Hello again! I'm finally feeling happier and decided to make a post! 😘

You guys, I'm a culinary genius. Blueberries, granola, blueberry Greek yogurt, and ginger jelly. So fucking delicious!